home

search

Chapter 209: The Shadow of a Distant Regret

  [POV Mizuk

  The air of Whirikal was different from that of Orestia. It didn’t carry that stale scent of incense and old stone that seeped into every corner of the Church’s capital. Here, despite the tension lingering in the atmosphere after the outbreak of dark mana, the wind carried the scent of pine trees and a sense of freedom I had almost forgotten.

  I walked through the corridors of the Royal Academy of Whirikal, following the elegant steps of Princess Leah. My other four companions—Julian, Arthur, Yvonne, and Cedric—walked behind me, their curious eyes taking in the stained-gss windows and tapestries that told the history of this kingdom. Liselotte was not with us; we had been told she had gone out early to buy some supplies and “comforts” for us, something that made a strange warmth bloom in my chest. That woman… Liselotte… had a presence that felt unsettlingly familiar to me, a calm that reminded me of something I had lost long ago.

  “This is the main wing for magical studies,” Leah said, gesturing toward a series of oak doors engraved with silver runes. “I know this must all seem like something out of a fairy tale to you, but this is where our students learn not to be consumed by their own power.”

  I forced myself to smile, trying to leave behind the panic of the previous night. Leah looked at us with a mix of royal authority and genuine kindness that made me feel at ease.

  “It’s impressive, Princess,” I replied, adjusting the strap of my hero’s tunic. “In Orestia, we only saw cathedrals and muddy training fields. This pce has… life.”

  Leah nodded, and as we climbed a spiral staircase toward the cssroom where we would be formally introduced, she turned toward us with curiosity.

  “Tell me, Mizuki… your other companions, the ones with the Church… what are they like? The King mentioned that there are thirty of you in total. That’s a formidable force, if you all have the potential I’ve seen.”

  When she spoke of “them,” a part of my enthusiasm returned. It was easier to talk about the others than to dwell on my own fear.

  “Oh, we’re all very different from each other!” I began, my hands moving as I spoke. “Ulric is the leader, of course. He has that golden sword and a light magic that blinds anyone who faces him. But there are others too, like Damien, who wields a shadow scythe, or Béatrice, who can heal mortal wounds in seconds. There are specialists in bows, in energy spears… Gaia gave us weapons that adapted to what she believed was our ‘essence.’ Back in our world, many of them were just athletes or outstanding students. We never imagined we’d end up holding the fate of an entire pnet in our hands.”

  As I spoke, an image began to form in the back of my mind. Leah listened attentively, but my own memories started dragging me backward—past the fifty years of training in the void, past our arrival in Lyre. My thoughts traveled to the cssrooms of our high school on Terra.

  I remembered the sound of chalk scraping against the bckboard, the smell of old paper, and the noise of lunchtime chatter. And then, like a ghost that refused to rest, he appeared.

  Edward.

  Edward Celium. The boy who was always there, just one step away. I remembered how he went out of his way to help me with schoolwork, how he always saved me a seat in the cafeteria, and how he somehow always knew when I was having a bad day without me saying a single word. He wasn’t a hero. He wasn’t athletic or loud like Ulric. He was… Edward. Quiet, attentive, with a smile that always made me feel safe.

  And then came the day of the confession.

  I could see it as if it were happening again. We were behind the arts building. The sun was setting, bathing everything in a mencholic orange glow. He was nervous, his hands trembling as he told me he loved me. And I… I rejected him. I remember his smile just before the words left my mouth—a smile full of hope, of vulnerability that now, with decades of pain behind me, feels sacred.

  Then I remembered his expression afterward. That emptiness. The light vanished from his eyes, and during the st days I saw him before our css disappeared, Edward was like an empty shell. He became the target of everyone’s mockery because of me, and I did nothing to stop it. I stood frozen while Ulric and the others ridiculed him.

  “Mizuki? Are you alright?”

  Leah’s voice pulled me back to the present. I realized I had stopped halfway up the stairs and that my hands were trembling. Nostalgia had turned into a knot of guilt tightening around my throat. My mood had plummeted in seconds, and Leah—with that sharp intuition she shared with Liselotte—had noticed immediately.

  “I’m sorry, Princess. It’s just that… remembering our world brings back shadows I can’t always handle,” I said, trying to force a smile that never reached my eyes.

  Leah stopped and asked Julian, Cedric, and the others to move ahead a bit with the guards. She remained alone with me on the stair nding.

  “It’s not just the world, is it?” Leah asked gently. “There’s something specific. Something that hurts you more than the fear of demons.”

  I looked at Leah. I saw someone who loved deeply, someone who would protect her present with tooth and nail. And in that moment, I made a decision. I needed to say it out loud so it wouldn’t consume me.

  “No matter what happens in this war, Princess… I have to return to my world,” I said, my voice gaining a desperate firmness. “I know Gaia brought us here to be heroes, but back there… on Terra… I left someone behind to whom I owe everything. Someone I need to apologize to and make it up to for every ounce of pain I caused.”

  “And who is that?” Leah asked softly, her expression turning thoughtful.

  “His name was Edward,” I replied, letting the name leave my lips after so long. “He was… he was my best friend, even though I didn’t want to admit it. He took care of me, protected me from small things, and always put my happiness above his own. And when he finally had the courage to tell me how he felt, I rejected him in the cruelest way.”

  I lowered my gaze to my combat boots, feeling the weight of the armor Orestia had pced upon me.

  “I rejected him because I was afraid, Leah. Afraid that if I accepted being his partner, my feelings might change in the future, or that I wouldn’t love him that way anymore and we’d ruin our friendship. I was a coward. Deep down, I did want to be with him. I wanted to be his partner, to walk hand in hand with him… but fear of the unknown made me sm the door in his face. And after that, I let the world trample him.”

  I felt a tear roll down my cheek, but I didn’t wipe it away.

  “I know I ruined everything. I know he probably hates me, or moved on, or maybe he’s not even alive anymore… but I will return. I’ll find a way to cross the veil between worlds, I’ll find him, and I’ll beg his forgiveness on my knees. I need to fix what I broke, because ever since Edward disappeared from my sight back then, I’ve felt like a part of my soul was left trapped in that school hallway. I can’t be a heroine in this world if I was a monster in my own.”

  Leah looked at me for a long moment. I saw a flicker of complex emotion in her eyes. She knew what it was like to love someone from another world, though she didn’t suspect that the green-haired woman she loved so dearly was, in essence, that very same Edward.

  “It’s a noble reason, Mizuki,” Leah finally said, pcing a hand on my shoulder. “Regret is a heavy burden, but it can also be a driving force. Still, don’t forget that in order to return to your world, this one must survive first. Don’t let the past blind you to the danger ahead.”

  “I won’t,” I replied, wiping my face with my sleeve. “But Edward is my reason not to die here. If I survive, it’s to see him again.”

  We continued toward the cssroom. Leah remained silent, lost in her own thoughts, while I tried to rebuild my hero’s mask. I didn’t know that the person to whom I had just confessed my sins was the current partner of the man I was desperately searching for. I only knew that speaking Edward’s name had given me new strength, a determination the Church of Orestia had never been able to give me with its sermons of faith.

  We reached the cssroom door. Leah opened it, and the murmur of Whirikal’s students spilled out toward us. It was time to present ourselves, to be the symbols the kingdom needed. But inside, I was just a girl who wanted to apologize to the boy who once gave her his heart—and whom she, out of fear, chose to break.

Recommended Popular Novels