My Toad milking operation was over before it started- the acid was strong enough to melt glass like sugar in water. The glass just vanished under the corrosive power of the acid. I had the Toads put down immediately, leaving only the captive Monsters. No sense risking an accident.

  It was not all bad. Before I had the monsters harvested, I had the workers gingerly mark out new trenches, and drained the acid into them. I was taking a waste not, want not approach, and since the acid was slowly eating through the dirt, I figured it might save us some effort.

  The little ditches didn’t slow down most of the monsters, but I’d seen in previous waves how they could give the heavy, low to the ground Wallbreakers fits. They wouldn’t be stuck, but it definitely slowed them down a lot. More time for my ranged units to get to work on them.

  But these were mere momentary distractions. The real goal for today? Roads. I pressed Marci and the Judiths into work. “I want roads to the new Relic Site. If there is time afterward, connect the rest of the locations we have found. But your number one goal is the Relic Site.”

  “Which one?”

  “They are next to each other. Run a road out to both.”

  “Fine. Tower Master.” Marci walked off with an air of profound disapproval. Of what, I don’t know.

  The construction ran at its usual pace. I have no way to tell how long anything takes at night, but we had done some outrageous amounts of wall building and ditch digging at night. Fingers crossed the road building wouldn’t take all that long. But while we had some free time, we had cleanup to do. And by ‘We’ I mean my Awakened.

  “Carousel, you have experience working in messy, sticky fields. How would you go about harvesting all those corpses in the moat?” I asked.

  “Tower Master… have you never… what sort of…” Carousel seemed to be groping for something, which I tried not to take personally.

  “Othai? Mrs. Hungry? Ideas? Suggestions?”

  “Not going to ask me?” Versai grinned.

  “You would suggest everyone jump in the pit and just start touching things until everything is gone.” I gave her a look.

  “It’s what we are going to wind up doing anyway.” She shrugged.

  “I’m hoping for better options. Anyone?”

  There weren't even crickets. Maybe the Toads ate them. Mrs. Hungry was rubbing her hands and looking eager to dive in.

  “Damn. Alright. Look, Carousel has done a couple passes with Final Revel so everything should be dead in there, but who knows? So take. Your. Time. Be careful. Stick together at all times. In fact, I want you guys to lower a platform and work without getting literally into the mix down there. We should still have the pulley platform from when I grabbed the last big wave of Fast Monsters. Use it. Stay smart, stay safe, get it done.”

  It was an immense project. Immense. I started with the Six Stars because of the ‘maybe they aren’t all dead’ issue, but ultimately it would be an all hands job. Even if my Awakened managed to touch one corpse a second, it wouldn’t be quick. And I couldn’t use Versai’s speed hack due to a lack of valid targets and the game distinguished between attacks with a sword and touching with a hand. Which was fair enough, for once.

  They got to it. I looked over the rest of the battlefield. Cleaning it up would be a mess, even though there were fewer bodies. It was the sheer chaos of the field. We had puddles and trenches of acid, which wasn’t too bad, but what made things really spicy was the acid sprays. They were great when it came to clearing out monsters during the wave. They were a lot less great when my awakened had to walk across the battlefield and risked their feet melting off.

  Tiny droplets of bright yellow acid, scattered widely over monsters, over the torn up earth, over scattered organs. Mixed in with the blood and bile soaking into the dirt. Some were even covered by blown grains of sand and dirt, hidden landmines waiting for a careless step.

  There was a serious question, at least in my mind, of whether it was worth clearing all the bodies at all. The acid couldn’t last forever, right? I wanted to see what would happen to the acid when the Toad bodies were looted, but there was a real attribution problem when so many of the Toads had been exploded. Exactly which tiny fragment of flesh belonged to which acid puddle?

  Clear enough Toads and we would see the changes eventually, but in the meantime? In the meantime, I didn’t have a good solution. All I could think of was walking around on boards, and when the boards started to hiss and melt, we found the acid.

  One unexpected discovery during the cleanup was that, while the acid could, and did, damage stone, it didn’t damage the road. Which I can’t explain. “Hey Rache? Is the road damaged anywhere?”

  “No, Boss.”

  “But we have been firing artillery everywhere, right? The road must have gotten damaged, right?” Has it been damaged before? I really couldn’t remember.

  “Boss?” She tilted her head to the side, clearly not understanding me.

  Why? Just game BS? My instinct was that the roads tied in to too many other systems to just let it be broken every night, but…

  But it was definitely that. Oh my God. I’m running an exploit. Everyone else would have to spend an order to repair their roads after every night. Calculated annoyance or not, that would piss people off and make them stop playing. Can’t have that! Indestructible roads are a small price, comparatively.

  Is there a way to exploit this? Of course there is. Any indestructible or immovable object is pure, game breaking, begging for abuse, exploit bait. How to exploit… Hmm. Further thought is required.

  If we could funnel monsters onto it, then skip a cannon ball along it, how far would the ball bounce before finally running out of energy? I toyed with the idea for a moment, then discarded it. I couldn’t force the monsters onto a single neat path anymore. Ah well. Something would come up.

  We had a good chunk of the battlefield cleaned up by the time the sky started throbbing. Marci and the build team were back, so there was no sense in waiting a single second longer. Rikka finished off the last few prisoners, and we all watched the sun rise.

  Stolen from its rightful author, this tale is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

  Day Twelve. It was going to be a big one, I could tell.

  “I never thought I would say this, but… we killed too many monsters.”

  “If we didn’t kill all the monsters, we would be dead, my Lord.” Othai disagreed. It was a valid point.

  “Eventually dead.” Versai added.

  “You are not wrong, but we barely got the moat emptied by the time the Night ended. The battlefield is still nightmare fuel, and I’m noticing that the acid isn’t vanishing.”

  “Is that really a problem, Tower Master? I rather think of it like free traps scattered over the battlefield by our enemies.” Versai flexed her fingers. She was pretty lively this morning. I had to wonder- was it the relationship system? More of her personality emerging as the relationship progressed? It wouldn’t be the craziest thing.

  “Sure, sounds great. Unless all of it vanishes the second the next wave starts. Does anyone know if the bodies carry over through the waves? I know they are still preserved if we shift them over to the Sky Realm. But does anyone know what happens if we leave them on the battlefield indefinitely?”

  There was a whole lot of silence. “You either don’t know or ‘don’t want to talk about it?’”

  That got me a round of nods.

  I pinched the bridge of my nose. I looked out across the battlefield and… and blinked. Then blinked again. Rubbed my eyes. “Am I going insane?”

  That got another round of awkward silence and delicate looks.

  “Oh hilarious. No, take a look out the window. What are you not seeing?”

  “The corpses are still there, my Lord.” Mrs. Hungry sounded like she had seen an 80% Off Sale at the supermarket.

  “Are they? All of them?”

  “Yes, my Lord.” Versai had a delicate tone. Which I normally would have appreciated. I need soft support. God I miss my Crocs.

  “All the bodies are present and accounted for, except the ones that were on the road!” I pointed. The road was completely clear. And I couldn’t remember when that happened. Did the Workers clear it before they started their road building program? But there would have been acid sprayed over it.

  “Did anyone see the workers clear the road? No?” Fantastic. The roads were even weirder than expected. This wasn’t a problem. Again, it was actually a good thing. But goddamn if it wasn’t a weird thing.

  I pinched the bridge of my nose again. I didn’t think it was helping, but at this point, there was no harm in trying.

  “Alright, there is just… so much to do today. Ah…” I tried to think of what I could delegate, and drew an immediate blank. Most activities either happened automatically in the background, or were there specifically to encourage player engagement.

  “How many resources are we pulling from our newly connected sites?”

  “We couldn’t connect all of them. Just the Teak forest and the two Relic Sites as they are apparently not that far from each other. We are getting one hundred units of Red Teak, an Uncommon resource.” Carousel said. She sounded pleased. She should be- she’s the development Councilor.

  “And the Relic Sites?”

  “Nothing yet.”

  I’d have to conquer them first, hmm? Makes sense. I’ll launch an expedition with my first order this morning, but first-

  “I need a good night’s sleep.”

  “Morning, Jackie!”

  “Welcome to your nightmare.” Jackie still had her flapper dress on, still smoking the long cigarette with its green smoke. Still a Días De Los Muertos skeleton. I think she was trying to sound menacing.

  “Thanks. You know I really look forward to it.”

  “You look forward to it. Your horrible nightmare.”

  “Yeah. I’m always so refreshed afterward, you know?”

  “No, I don’t know.” She shook her head. I don’t know how the fascinator stayed on. But then, how could a skeleton smoke? How could it fill out a dress? I didn’t dwell on the trivialities.

  “Well it’s true. I look forward to our little chats.”

  “I… I don’t have someone I can report that to, but I have the feeling I should.” She said. Her voice was always kind of breathy so I’m not sure if she was trying to murmur or not.

  “You don’t have a manager? Or a supervisor or something?”

  “No. I merely exist here as your guide and, I suppose, host. Your tormentor, even though I don’t have any control over what you experience.”

  I cocked my head to the side. “You have been nothing but pleasant. How are you tormenting me?”

  “I wonder the same thing. I have thought about it, and I think it’s supposed to be the contrast. A beautiful body on a skeleton. Seductive, with no possibility of satiation. And a calm voice, before you are plunged into terror. The pain comes in the gap, you see.”

  I nodded. “Solid theory, but at least for me, it’s not working in practice. This is one of the best parts of my day, two days running. Shall we make it three?”

  “Sure. Why not.” She waved languorously. I think she was a little irritated. Shame. Oh well.

  I dropped into a kitchen. An older woman smiled at me. She was cutting something on the cutting board. I looked closer, and it was a human arm. “I’ll be with you in just a minute sweetie. Oh, do you want to be roasted or boiled? I was thinking an apple honey glaze for you, and a spice rub for your little brother here.”

  I tried to get up and run, but collapsed before I could take a step. I looked down and saw my feet had been cut off. I tried to crawl away, and she just giggled. I don’t know where I could run to. I wiggled to the front door. I could reach the doorknob, but it was locked. I couldn’t reach the lock.

  I looked around for anything I could throw, anything I could use to pull myself up. I grabbed the doorknob and hauled. But my arms, they should have been strong. The body they gave me was strong. But I felt so weak. I couldn’t even pull myself up to my stumps.

  “Oh sweetie, there is nowhere for you to go. You might as well just sit and watch Mommy get everything ready for your big party! Don’t worry, it will be just like your feet. I’ll make sure you get to watch everything right up until the end.” Her voice came floating out from the kitchen.

  It didn’t get much better from there. I tried a few methods, even tried to break a window, but nothing worked. No matter what I tried, I was always too weak or too clumsy to make it work. It went on for a while and then Mommy came out of the kitchen and I couldn’t even fight back. She stuck a hook into one of my legs, just above where my ankle should have been, then dragged me into the kitchen.

  I… well… it’s good that I don’t eat food anymore. Somehow, being eaten by army ants was better. I can’t explain it, but it was. This felt personal.

  Then the refreshment washed over me, and it was all okay again. It was awful. Awful. But it was a bad dream, and now I am awake.

  “And how was your nightmare?”

  “The scariest, most sadistic one yet. But still totally worth it. Incidentally, and… if this is rude to talk about in skeleton culture, I apologize. But so far, these dreams are three for thee about being chased and eaten alive. Is that the theme for all the nightmares, or…”

  “I have no idea. And yes, talking about eating is extremely offensive in skeleton culture. I shouldn’t have to explain why. A second’s thought should have made it obvious to you.” She gave me a filthy look. The guilt reflex slammed into me, and I felt sick.

  “Oh jeez. Jackie I am so, so sorry. I just- you are the first skeleton I have talked to, and-” She was giving me an arch look, and the tip of her long cigarette was wobbling. “And you are screwing with me, aren’t you?”

  “How DARE you, Sir! How very dare you!”

  Haaaaah. Well. She got me. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Jackie.”

  “Goodbye, thoughtless visitor to this nightmare realm of shadow and torment. I will see you soon.”

  The expedition launched with Versai, Mrs. Hungry, Othai, Rache and Rikka. I figured the three Six Stars could handle most things, and my two scouts could get whatever info I needed ASAP. Fingers crossed. I filled in my expedition, picked one of the two sites at random, and hit Launch Expedition.

  We were standing on a beach, looking across wine bottle green water. I could smell the salt. I looked behind us, but all I could see were dunes. Was this supposed to be a sea voyage type thing?

  “I hear footsteps. Many people come, My Lord. Many!” Rikka said.

  I looked around. “Which way are they coming from?”

  She pointed inland. There was nothing on the beach except seashells and rocks.

  “Up to the dunes. We go in the opposite direction.” I set off at a dead sprint. Scripted events be damned, I’m not starting this expedition being captured by some local army.

  We got up over the top of the dunes and got a good view of acres of sawgrass. Mrs. Hungry pulled me flat as I was starting to go over the top of the dune, gesturing at everyone else. They were already on their bellies and crawling. Doubtless to keep us hidden. I followed their example. We scurried away from the beach, keeping low. We stopped as soon as we found a solid dip in the sands. I didn’t want the swaying grass to give away our position. Seen that trope too many times.

  On the other hand, we did need more information, so-

  “Rikka, go investigate. Learn what you can and return unseen.”

  “Yes, my Lord.” She returned my whisper and set off. Then there was nothing to do but wait. I wasn’t feeling particularly chatty. I could hear the marching feet on the sand now, and it wasn’t just one or two people. Tens, certainly. Hundreds? Maybe. They weren’t talking, but I could hear the clank of metal and the crunch of sand under their feet. The waves were a soft background sound, set off by the high cries of the seabirds wheeling overhead.

  Could this be the long-dreamed-of beach scene? Surely not yet. Maybe once we conquer this site.

  Rikka came back, slipping silently onto the sand next to me. “Two hundred men, carrying weapons but no armor. They are waiting for a boat. It doesn’t look like they are expecting it immediately, as they are setting camp.”

  Rikka slipped Othai a look. “I overheard their plans. They are part of a larger invasion force. They are attacking a place called Genuda?”