Before Dee could get his brains bashed out, a figure appeared atop one of the frog statues. A shadowy and voluptuous frogite woman swayed and danced high above them, calling out in the croaky frogite language. Some of the frogites stopped, entranced by the figure. Despite himself, Dee found something very fascinating about the dancer. It was like a tik-tok you had to watch seventy times. I should go up there. He tried to stand up, but his legs were still weak.

  Thankfully the frogites near Dee were also distracted by the mysterious dancer battlefield. She crooned and gestured to one of the warriors. It dropped its axe and jumped up, slammed into the side of the statue and clambered up it. The dancing figure crooned and whistled at them, encouraging them to climb faster.

  Then the dancing frogite changed suddenly. Her dance turned into crude mocking gestures. The rest of the warriors around Dee were drawn in by this. Enraged by her insults, they ignored Dee and leapt up at the figure. Those that reached her first leapt right through her, revealing the illusion too late. They crashed into the wall or plummeted off the statue. The other warriors, confused, dropped down from the statue and looked around for their weapons.

  But there was another adventurer waiting for them. She was tall, clad in dark leather armour. Dee wondered how he had missed her, she must have been standing there the whole time. She held a long spiked chain in both hands, swinging one end. It made a whoosh-woosh-woosh sound as it looped around.

  When the frogites leapt at her she skipped out of the way like a dancer, lashing her chain across their faces and chests, tripping them and causing them to tumble into each other.

  Dee breathed a sigh of relief. He was safe by the statutes for now, even as Tianna and Arjelica held off the main horde.

  “You tried to ensorcell my human, Emizra!” Yuri cried out. She limped towards Dee.

  “I saved your human.” Emizra strode to Dee and held her hand out. It was an offering of certainty, and he took it. Dee stood up on shaky legs, as she looked down on him. She was just as tall as Yuri, but not slim like an elf, curvier like an old Hollywood starlet. Her eyes were amber circles of sunlight shining from her tanned face. In the weird light of the cave her skin looked red. When she stared at him, he felt more real, as if he was the centre of the universe. Her grasp sent a feeling of strength into his body.

  “Take heart,” she said. Her voice was strong and beautiful.

  “What?” Dee murmured. They were close enough to embrace or kiss even. She slid her hand behind his back. What is happening? Why are there so many beautiful women in this dungeon? I’m a very horny dreamer. Emizra was strong, not viciously strong like Arjelica, but strong like super-heated stone. She could probably pick up him and squeeze him in two, but she moved like a dancer, following the sound of a song only she heard. Her leather armour creaked as she pulled him closer.

  Yuri’s staff slid between them. “Emi! You seduce everyone. This one is mine.” Yuri pouted and tried to lever them apart.

  Emizra squeezed him and let him go. The incredible feeling of being the centre of the universe faded as she turned away, but the side-eye wink that she gave him sent one last thrill through him. She hefted her chain and snapped it taut.

  “We need to find a more defensible place,” Dee said. His game brain kicked in suddenly. He couldn’t lie here blubbering all day. He had to do something.

  Come on, I’m a GM, I make up plans and strategies all the time. I have to be helpful somehow. These frog things are not fighting with any tactics, they’re just mooks. They have javelins, so they should be whittling down the dangerous PCs with long-range attacks, but they are too stupid to realise that. How could we use this to our advantage?

  Arjelica and Tianna were on the far side of Yuri’s marshy trap, holding the attention of the main force. Even with their teamwork, he could see that there were too many enemies for them to hold off forever. He assumed there could be more warriors to come.

  “We need to get to a defensible position. Can you get Arjelica and Tianna over here? If we stall them here it may give us time to think of something,” he said.

  A shout rang out suddenly, the old priest again, his voice even more croaky than the others. The warriors suddenly pulled back to the cavern walls. Arjelica and Tianna were alone in the centre of the cave.

  “Yoohoo, darlings, come and join us!” Yuri called out, waving to them.

  The fat frogite at the far end of the cavern came into view as the troops pulled back at his command. He waved his arms, pushed his hands together, and the unmistakable glow of a magical crest formed in front of him. He shouted its name in his croaky language as it erupted into existence.

  “He’s a PC!” Yuri squealed, half in shock, half in excitement.

  The magic of the crest reverberated forwards over the cavern, it felt slick and wet on Dee’s skin, like getting into a sleeping bag filled with seaweed.

  “A water crest, I told you there was a water node down here.” Yuri leaned on her staff with a smug look on her face.

  “Yuri, take this seriously. He called it Ravenous Waters, that sounds dangerous,” Emizra said.

  Slurping sounds from the ceiling made them look up. The slime across the roof of the cavern was twisting, coalescing into shapes. Dozens of gloopy tadpoles the size of basketballs were forming from the slime. A horrible mass of writhing tails flicked as they wrenched their fat heads free. Their mouths opened, revealing sharp piranha-like teeth, hungry for blood. The horrid mass jerked and came free, to rain down onto Tianna and Arjelica, writhing and biting.

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  There were too many for Arjelica to dodge, several of them latched onto her, gnawing at her flesh. Tianna was almost buried by the stack of them that latched onto her. They both disappeared from sight under the mass of slimy tadpoles. There was nothing that Dee or the other two adventurers could do, they were too far away, and it all happened so quickly.

  “Shield Bubble!” Tianna cried. A dome of golden energy erupted from her, pushing away the tadpoles and protecting her and Arjelica. Dee could see her outline through the energy field, holding her mace high in defiance.

  The fat frog shook its fists angrily and cried out an order, and the warriors around the cave launched stone javelins at the shield. Dozens of stone missiles splintered into shards on the shield, causing it to pulse dark, but still it held. More tadpoles fell from the ceiling, but they bounced off the shield and exploded into goop on the floor. The bubble started moving towards Dee as they made for safety.

  Yuri raised her staff towards the leader of the frogites and launched a witch bolt at him. At such a distance it seemed to lose most of its power, but it did knock him over. It did nothing to stop the rain of tadpoles, but some warriors crowded around him in concern.

  “Can’t you stop those tadpoles?” Dee asked. That was not a sentence I thought I would be saying today.

  “He brought his crest into the world, its magic will have to run its course,” Emizra said.

  “But I can make a safe path for our poor friends.” Yuri posed and thrust the bottom of her staff onto the ground towards the Mad Marsh. A dry causeway formed in the centre, and Arjelica and Tianna started to cross.

  Frogites began edging around the cavern, luckily they had to avoid the Ravenous Waters and Mad Marsh, which bought the adventurers some time.

  When Arjelica and Tianna made it across, Dee felt the thrum of energy as it enveloped them in its protection. It felt curiously inert, nothing like the explosive crest magic. It was like Yuri’s Witch Bolt’s, powerful but not bone-shaking like the Mad Marsh.

  Inside the bubble, he could see the damage wreaked on the Claw Stalker and War Priest. Arjelica had savage bite marks on her arms and legs, with blood streaking down her entire body. She was breathing heavily, she had to lean on Tianna just to stay upright.

  Even though the War Priest was half Arjelica’s height, right now she looked like a rock of support. Her face was scrunched in tight concentration, her mace still held high. Light flowed out from her, forming the shield bubble around them. Her face was grazed, but her armour had protected her from any more damage. Still, her face was streaked with sweat and a hint of panic.

  “We need healing, Tia dear,” Yuri said. She leaned on her staff to support her wounded leg.

  “I can’t cast two spells at once,” Tianna muttered. Sweat dripped down over her lip, and she sputtered to blow it away.

  “The tunnel is a bit more shelter.” Dee pointed back at the way towards the sacrifice chamber.

  “It’s a dead end,” Arjelica said.

  The barrier spattered with energy as more javelins shattered on it. Its light dimmed and Dee felt the energy falter.

  “I can’t hold this forever. The Kingfisher blesses us with power to act, not to cower in hiding.” Tianna’s mace fell a little and the barrier dimmed. “But I’ll protect you my friends, no matter the cost!” She straightened her arms and the barrier shone brighter. Dee wanted to hug her right then, she was so adorably brave.

  “Let’s go. We have a better chance with more cover.” Yuri put her arm round Arjelica. The barbarian hissed in pain but let her friend help her along.

  All of them apart from the little minnikin had to crouch to go into the tunnel. When they were in, Tianna let her shield drop.

  “Quickly, close this tunnel.” Yuri kneeled and placed her hand on Tianna’s shoulder.

  “We shouldn’t spend our mana. I can’t shield us if I use mana.” Tianna frowned and shook her head.

  “Just do it. We need time to heal,” Arjelica growled.

  “Well, I shouldn’t really use a stolen crest…” Tianna shot a resentful glance at Emi, who just shrugged.

  “Tianna my wonderful little holy friend, do it right now or Arjelica will steal your… bones out of your body,” Yuri whispered.

  “You know, words are not really your strong point, Yuri,” Emi snickered.

  “I don’t need words, I just need magic. And what we need right now is your wonderful earth crest my beautiful little starkin friend.”

  “Hmmph!” Tianna looked cynical at the complement but she also blushed a little. She turned and reached out to the tunnel entrance. Frogites were closing in around the edge of the chamber, they had mere seconds before they would be in javelin range.

  “In the name of the Kingfisher, give us good fortune in the face of crushing defeat!”

  This time he felt Tianna’s magic. It had a frantic pulsing rhythm like the heartbeat of a humming bird. It was protective but he felt the potential for huge bursts of violent energy. She wasn’t just reaching out in front of her, there was a part of her reaching into a distant realm and pulling energy into this one.

  A crest appeared in front of her, rocky and jagged. The energy rotated in the air, with a terrible thrumming sound that made Dee’s stomach hurt. Streaks of dark and light rock churned and formed into an immense sledgehammer, jagged, heavy, deadly.

  “Canyon Hammer!” Tianna cried. Her hand closed around the hammer, it was twice her size but followed her movements like it was a ribbon floating through the air.

  She swung it against the wall of the cavern, where it hit the rock pulsed and flowed like water, sticking to the weapon like gooey honey. She slammed it against the other wall, more stone erupted out. With several more swings she pulled the walls of the tunnel together, sealing them all away from the frogites.

  Tianna let go of the hammer and it flowed away into nothingness. “So uneconomical,” she said. Then she dropped her hands and sighed deeply, she looked worn out. “I’ve only got one or two hits of mana left,” she said.

  Why did I feel her crest magic but not her shielding bubble? How can I ask that without getting slapped in the face again?

  Tianna rushed to Arjelica and placed her hand on the elf’s brow. “Misfortune turn to gold,” she whispered. Arjelica’s wounds closed, bruises faded and she stood tall again. Tianna did the same for Yuri making her leg pristine and pale.

  No crest. Is it different magic?

  “Are you wounded?” she looked to Emizra and Dee with concern.

  “I am fine,” Emizra said. Her amber eyes glowed softly in the low blue light of the tunnel.

  Dee looked at his hands and naked feet. “I think I’m okay.” Body, check. Pyjamas, wizard robe and adventuring bag, check. Constant ball of anxiety in my stomach, check. “As okay as I can be.”

  “Well, now we have time to regroup and rethink.” Yuri leaned onto one foot and stuck her other leg out. Her torn robe draped over it, the black jagged edges over her long graceful leg made her look like the painting of a seductive goddess. Even when wounded she moved like an underwear model.

  I need to stop noticing these things and think about how to be helpful.