Yue Xing had never before been so far from his home. The last time he even left the village had been months prior at the beginning of summer. His mother had sent him and A-Qiao down along the river to the next village to bring home a sack of rice since they had run dry at home.

  It wasn’t his fault that he hadn’t noticed the sack getting caught on a twig and tearing open, spilling half of its contents by the time Yue Xing and his sister made it some. His mother looked too tired to even scold him anymore, she only waved her hand in dismissal with a sigh and slumped down by the window defeatedly.

  Still, Yue Xing was near tears when Huan-jie berated him in their mother’s stead anyway. Yue Huan had said some deeply hurtful things to him that day, but he couldn't find it in himself to get angry at her. She was right, he was useless even when all he wanted to do was help his already struggling family.

  Now, he would’ve listened to his sister’s angry scolding a thousand times over again. If only that would mean he could return home as soon as possible.

  The scenery was nothing more than a passing blur to him. His head still felt as though it was floating a good pace up above his shoulders. The farther the carriage drove him from home, the more nauseous he got. With every passing second he felt a weight pressing down against his chest, as if seizing his lungs and squeezing them until he couldn't breathe anymore.

  The Sun slowly descended across the sky and soon the entourage halted on a clearing beside the riverbank. The door to the carriage flung open, and one of the guards gave Yue Xing a not-so-subtly fed up shove to get out of the way.

  Yue Xing almost faceplanted the way he tumbled out along with the six or so other men. His knees still shook, and so did his hands. He squeezed them together in an attempt to hide it, or try to convince himself that he wasn’t going to slip apart in any coming second.

  His eyes drifted across the field; people were busying themselves with setting up a temporary camp. Yue Xing took a step forward before he felt his legs already wanting to give up from beneath him. He slumped down into the grass instead.

  Before he could contain it, he felt something wet slide down the slope of his cheek; a tear. He swiped at it quickly, wiping it away, but just as fast as it had come, the rest followed close behind.

  Soon, Yue Xing was completely overcome by grief. Sobs wracked his form, and if he hadn’t already been sitting down he would’ve surely collided with the ground by now.

  His mind vaguely registered people passing by; they most likely looked at him in disdain. He was probably loud and obnoxious with his crying. He was also most definitely in their way. Dirty, he was dirty. His hands were covered in dust and he was probably smearing it all over his face with all his wet crying.

  Yue Xing needed to wash his face. He needed to get it together right that second. His brother’s words echoed in his head. The stumbled forward towards where the river lazily flowed by, his flimsy shoes crunching uncomfortably against the pebbles.

  He dropped to his knees with a thud, a sharp wince escaping his lips as the rock dug into his skin. In the shadows of dusk he couldn't see his reflection in the water. Maybe that was for the better.

  He scrubbed his face insistently, until his skin felt raw and hot against the cooling touch of the water. Though it still felt as if a mountain was pressing down on his body, it grounded him in a way that made Yue Xing able to breathe again.

  When he lifted his head his gaze slid atop the water, stopping where the great silver disk of the Moon reflected, sending its streaks of pale moonlight across the ripples. Yue Xing exhaled with a wet sniffle.

  “Don’t you even think about running. You’re just a scrawny kid, we’ll catch you before you make it a single tree over.” The sound of a man’s voice started him out of his thoughts. He hadn’t heard anyone approach over the rushing of the river, but once he turned he found two guards standing over him with a lantern in one of their hands.

  “I wasn’t…I wasn’t going to run…” Yue Xing wiped his nose with his sleeve before it could drip. He felt his face burn under the scornful eyes of the man speaking.

  “Hah, sure you weren’t.” the guard snorted, crossing his arms.

  But it was true. It hadn’t even occurred to Yue Xing that he could attempt an escape. What good would that bring? The guard was completely right—they would catch him before he even took two steps.

  But even if he did manage to escape, he wouldn't have anywhere to go. The night had already fallen and he could barely make out a few colored shapes in the lanternlight. In any case, he had no idea where he was. Sure, he could follow back down along the river from where they came from, but he would be entirely on his own in the dark, cold night.

  But most important of all, Yue Xing was scared. A stranger man had essentially taken him prisoner and was dragging him all the way back to his residence. He had no idea what the man would do to him, and he couldn't stop his mind from conjuring all the gruesome things Song Chang might think up for him. He couldn't even begin to imagine what he would do if Yue Xing decided to run.

  Once the guard realized Yue Xing wasn’t going to speak anymore, his face turned to frown, as if disappointed he couldn't get a rouse out of the already distressed young man. “Whatever.” he huffed, tossing the lantern to his companion instead.

  “I’m heading back. Keep an eye on this one, Su Yan. You know the magistrate has been in a rather foul mood lately. If the boy manages to run away he’ll surely get someone to break your legs.” With that the man’s form retreated into camp.

  Silence stretched on for a few long moments. Yue Xing let his eyes drift back over to the water while the guard with the lantern stood behind him as stiff as a board.

  “Sorry about him.” The man spoke up suddenly. His voice was melodic and youthful, and also strangely familiar. It took Yue Xing some time to recognize him as the same young man who had helped him up back at the village. “He’s just angry because he had to come on this trip instead of staying home with his wife.” the guard, Su Yan continued.

  Yue Xing didn’t look at him again, and Su Yan didn't speak any further. He watched the river slowly drift by, peaceful, undisturbed. He couldn't bear to imagine that just down south his mother and sisters were still in the village in that solemn little home of theirs.

  Yue Xing could only begin to think. Was his mother stricken by grief once more? Was A-Qiao asking where her big brother had gone? Could it be possible that even Huan-jie was missing him?

  Or maybe not. Maybe all of them were glad he was gone. Maybe this mother was sighing contently to herself; one less mouth to feed and one less troublemaker around the house. Maybe A-Qiao hadn’t even noticed he was gone, only that she got more to fill her little belly with at dinner. Yue Huan was most definitely the happiest of them all. She had been bitter and cruel ever since the others left and she had to play eldest. She was probably just happy she wouldn't have to make time to scold him all day.

  It was cruel of him to think about his own family like this. It was horrible of him to paint them as comforted by his departure. It was purely fiction his own mind had conjured up, and yet he couldn't help but feel anger inside his chest.

  Where were they when he was crying for help? Where was the mother who had sworn two years ago that she would protect her remaining children with her life? They sent him out to look, the only person whom the whole village hated. The only person whom everyone was unanimously willing to give up in a heartbeat and not feel the slightest hint of remorse.

  They sent him to his doom and they were probably more relieved than horrified once the village elders filled them in on what they had done.

  Yue Xing was terribly angry, yet he couldn't start to hate them.

  A gust of wind swept through the riverside, making Yue Xing shiver. “We should head back to camp. You’ll uh… Catch a cold by the river.” Su Yan spoke up, startling Yue Xing for a moment.

  But the young man shook his head. He cast his eyes back on the moon’s reflection, watching it ripple with the same gust of wind that blew against him. He didn’t open his lips to speak, he didn’t trust his voice not to shake if he did.

  The guard seemed to get the message though. He sighed, mumbling something under his breath before he set the lantern beside Yue Xing’s kneeling form on the rocky riverbank.

  “Well, I’m going back. I’ll be watching you though, so… No funny business.” Su Yan said, his voice laced with anxiety at the fact that Yue Xing could attempt an escape and he would be to blame. In that sense it was strange for the guard to just leave him there alone while he watched from afar.

  But Yue Xing wasn’t going to run. He simply didn’t want to. He had decided he didn’t want to go back to the village afterall.

  Maybe Song Chang would really be awful to him, or maybe not. In any case he still had a much wider array of chances wherever the magistrate decided to take him. Any place would be better than his old community.

  Yue Xing listened until he heard Su Yan’s footsteps fade into the distance. Only then did he finally allow his muscles to give out and for his body to fall unceremoniously into the wet gravel.

  ○ ? ○

  The sun beat down heavily between the two twin rocky peaks hugging the valley below, the old and winding Po River carving its way in between and lapping at the paved shores of Yan’an Town.

  It was hot, unbearably so. The summer months had never been forgiving on the region, yet the town was as crowded as ever. Wide, straight streets laid out in a careful grid, bustling with life, a chaotic symphony of shouts from vendors, the rhythmic clopping of horse-drawn carts, and the murmur of a thousand conversations all at once. Shops with black-tiled roofs and bright red lacquered pillars lined the roads, their banners and signs fluttering in the breeze.

  There was a distinctly clear smell in the air, that of the river and the gentle warm breeze coursing down the mountains. It wasn't like anything Yue Xing had experienced before.

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  Yue Xing was quiet, awfully so. Pressed against the side of an already stuffed carriage would not have been his preferred method of transportation. At least the sensation of it all took his mind away from grim places. Occasionally, that is. Yue Xing was more scared than ever, but if anything, really, he felt downright exhausted.

  Yue Xing tipped his head against the lacquered wood. It wasn't hard to do so, he was already pressed so close he could basically feel the wood creaking and bursting at the seams. A quiet sigh slipped from his lips, chapped and sticky from not speaking for so long.

  The carriage rode through town, down the long avenues and eventually turning onto a side road winding up the lazy slopes of the western mountain. Every single nerve stood on its end in Yue Xing's body, as if struck by lightning.

  As the outlines of tiled roofs and tall, imposing towers slowly came into view, the situation truly dawned on Yue Xing for the first time. As if he had suddenly been awoken from a fever dream, only to fall right back into a nightmare. The tears that he thought had dried up welled in his eyes once more, his cheeks flushing red. Yue Xing had been exchanged away as a slave.

  The courtyard was expansive, but still barely big enough for all the commotion. Yue Xing was still wiping his hazy eyes when he first stepped foot into Liming Manor. His head wouldn't stop spinning for a moment, everyone was rushing around him, guards piling out from the wagon, groaning and cursing, servants hurrying to unload luggage.

  Yue Xing's eyes were blurry, even a little more than usual, but he caught a fleeting glimpse of the county magistrate as he was being led away by someone, though he couldn't see the other person very well.

  Yue Xing looked around the courtyard, stepping out of the way as a grumpy attendant nearly pushed him amidst the chaos. He wasn't sure what he was supposed to do.

  That was an exaggeration; Yue Xing was, in fact, completely lost.

  It wasn't until he was approached by a woman that he realized how foolish he must've looked, like a little fawn looking for its mother. Her face radiated warmth as she smiled at him with her rosy cheeks. She inclined her head, and after some shy hesitation Yue Xing inclined his too.

  “You must be the new servant Li Zhong told me about.” Her voice was as soft and motherly as Yue Xing expected. He only wordlessly nodded—though he had no idea who Li Zhong or this woman was. “I'm Ye Huiqing, but people around here just call me Auntie Ye.” The woman, Auntie Ye, introduced herself. “Who may I acquaint myself with today?”

  Yue Xing, though he didn't know why, hesitated once more. Maybe it was the unprecedented kindness in Auntie Ye’s eyes that stopped him in his tracks.

  “Xing, uhm, Yue. Yue Xing.” he stammered. “I'm Yue Xing.”

  Auntie Ye hummed, her brown eyes shining even brighter than before. “Like the Moon and the stars?” she asked.

  “Sure.” Yue Xing blurted, an embarrassed flush creeping up his cheeks. Auntie Ye smiled before she extended her hand and beckoned Yue Xing.

  “Come, let me show you around. We've got a lot to cover before tomorrow.” Yue Xing nodded, quietly following Auntie Ye through the emptying courtyard.

  Liming Manor was dazzling, to Yue Xing's standards anyway. Long, airy corridors, sunny pavilions, fresh mountain air tussling his hair. Everything was so shiny, so rich and vibrant. It seemed the manor was well loved and taken care of.

  And Auntie Ye was quite the company. She was extremely chatty, if not a little gossipy, but Yue Xing found it charming. A breath of fresh air from anything he knew before. He was only wondering how her lips weren't drying out and her throat wasn't sore. She really did talk the entire time.

  The courtyards, the kitchen, the pantry, the garden, she shared a bit of gossip the whole way through.

  “And you know, I've been here for quite so long. Eight years this winter, that's more than most who work under the magistrate. Only Zhan Wei and Li Zhong got me beat, those old foxes. Even the lord himself has only been here two years.” she chatted as they stopped to take in the view at one the pavilions.

  “Did you work under the previous county magistrate too?” Yue Xing asked as he exhaled a breath, already exhausted from running all over the place while trying to keep up with manor gossip.

  “Me? Oh, no.” Auntie Ye shook her head. Yue Xing made a confused noise. “Ah, you don't know?”

  Yue Xing's cheeks flushed with embarrassment once more. Of course he didn't know whatever Auntie Ye was getting at, he basically didn't know anything, and especially nothing of the courtly and such.

  “Well, you see, the last county magistrate was a friend of the old emperor. He passed right around the time when the princes were struggling for the throne and so appointing a new magistrate just got forgotten.” she explained. “That's how it was for a decade. Of course, the magistrate’s residence, Liming Manor, still needed to be taken care of even in the absence of a magistrate, so some of the old servants continued maintaining it with the lead of Li Zhong.”

  Yue Xing nodded with a hum, carefully filing away all the bits and pieces of information he could get about this place. It didn't seem like he would leave anytime soon, so it was best to learn as much as he was able to as fast as he could.

  “So how did Song Chang come into play?” Yue Xing asked softly, only to earn a pinch on the cheeks.

  “That is Lord Song to you, child.” Auntie Ye admonished, patting his cheek to soothe the ache. “And it just so happened that he was the only candidate for the job. Well, it wasn't like he wanted it, but the emperor personally appointed him after he—”

  “After what is none of the boy's business, Huiqing.” a low, rumbling voice was heard, accompanied by the elegant footfalls resounding on the wooden floor. Yue Xing spun around in alarm, like he was a kid caught doing something naughty, but Auntie Ye only turned calmly, her smile barely wavering.

  “Ah. How nice of you to join us,” she laced her fingers together in front of her abdomen. “Yue Xing, this is Li Zhong, the senior housekeeper and old fox I was telling you about. Have you met him yet?” Auntie Ye said sweetly, as if introducing a well-beloved old friend. Yue Xing shook his head maybe a little too quickly.

  Li Zhong, ‘the old fox’, looked exactly as Yue Xing could've imagined. He was tall—well, taller than Yue Xing, which in and of itself wasn't an impossibly hard thing to accomplish. He was also thin, his cheeks sunken in, although Yue Xing couldn't tell if it was from his age or something else.

  His robes appeared tight on his form, intentionally so. It cut him a very sharp and refined silhouette. His silvery hair was tied on the back of his head, his black eyes piercing through Yue Xing's frame. The message was clear from first glance; don't even think to push your luck with this guy.

  “Zhan Wei told me about you. You are… Skinnier than I expected.” The housekeeper's face twitched. “Are you sure he is suited for servant’s labor?” Auntie Ye only scoffed.

  “Oh, be quiet, will you? We must all start somewhere. He'll pick up on things in no time.” Auntie Ye retorted, patting Yue Xing on the back with a sweet smile.

  Li Zhong didn't seem completely convinced; his lips pressed tightly together in a not at all well-concealed frown. Or maybe his face was just like that. “Very well then. The lord has no need for useless people. No lazing around and no excuses.” the man said firmly, his eyes narrowing as he surveyed Yue Xing's frame, who felt like curling in on himself from those eyes alone.

  Auntie Ye sighed, rolling her eyes with a playful lilt in her voice. “As you say, Your Majesty.”

  Li Zhong’s frown worsened at the ‘affectionate’ nickname, his jaw going tight before going slack as he released what appeared to be a calming breath. He cleared his throat. “Enough chit-chat. If you will, please depart. The lord will come and take his tea soon.”

  “Here?” Auntie Ye asked, surprised.

  “Yes, here.”

  “Not in his study?”

  “No, not in his study, Huiqing.” Li Zhong scoffed, stepping further into the pavilion. “Perhaps he would simply like to enjoy the summer breeze and the nice view.” the housekeeper said, glancing back over his shoulder and giving what was basically a ‘get lost’ expression. Even Yue Xing couldn't miss it, not with the chill coming down his spine in the midst of the blazing heat.

  “Ah, yes of course. Yue Xing, come, let us leave then.” Auntie Ye quickly took him by the shoulder, ushering him away from the not-so-friendly housekeeper. Once they were a good distance away, Auntie Ye turned to him with a warm voice.

  “Don't take his words too seriously. He's just like that. It's not you who's the problem, Li Zhong just has a very particular way of expecting things to be done. He gets all fired up if something isn't up to par.” the woman said, pursing her lips, before her plush lips formed a smile once more. “But I'm sure you'll do just fine.”

  Yue Xing didn't quite look at her. He bit down silently on his lower lip, his hands involuntarily tight against his sides. “Yeah, right…” he said, hoping his voice was at least half as convincing as he intended it to be. Auntie Ye must be right, he told himself, Li Zhong might sound harsh, but I'm sure it's just a front he puts on to fill in the grumpy old housekeeper’s role.

  Dinner was called. Yue Xing didn't eat a whole lot. A few bites from a dumpling and a couple mouthfuls of plain rice. He didn't feel particularly hungry. The exhaustion from the morning and the days before slowly crept back over him.

  He had to hand it to Auntie Ye, she was a master at taking his mind away from dark places. He didn't even think of his unfortunate circumstances the whole day while running around the manor. But now, under the golden glow of the lanterns, surrounded by dozens of people chatting and laughing, he felt like crawling into a hole and being swallowed up by the earth. He felt so inexplicably alone.

  It felt strange to be surrounded by so many people and still feel so lonely. It was like a cold chill had settled into his body, but his stomach felt like it had been twisted into a burning hot iron knot. Yue Xing wanted to cry quite badly all of a sudden.

  He got to share a room with ten other people, both men and women, both old and young. He got the only free space available in the small room, the one closest to the window. He couldn't understand at first why no one wanted to sleep there—the lights of Yan’an Town below were beautifully visible from there.

  He got his answer pretty fast once he realized the frame couldn't close properly and the wind would push it open if it so pleased. Nights on the mountain were cold, even in the middle of summer, he quickly learned, shivering under the thin mockery of a blanket that was so kindly bestowed upon him by one of his new roommates.

  Yue Xing thought he was trained in sharing a room with other people. After all, back in the village their dilapidated little shack of a house only had one space for all of them to share. Sure, it had gotten much less crowded over the last few years, but he still had to bear his mother's snoring and his Huan-jie’s constant tossing and turning, not to mention little A-Qiao's habit of crying during the strangest hours of the night.

  If Yue Xing closed his eyes, he could almost make himself believe he was back in his twelve-year-old self. He could almost faintly hear the river flowing somewhere in the distance, the cicadas playing outside in the grass and the faint crackling of the embers barely holding on under the stove.

  He could almost make himself believe that if he turned to his left he could see Dage sitting propped up by the windowsill, his hands fidgeting with something. And if he turned to his right he could've seen Erge's frustrated eyes boring holes into the ceiling and groaning every time Huan-jie tossed against her blanket.

  Yue Xing would quietly bump his shoulder and Erge would huff, turning his head only lightly before mouthing ‘I'm going to strangle her’ with anything but sincerity in his mind. And Yue Xing would smile, tired and wobbly because it was already past midnight, but he was still unable to sleep.

  And then Dage would notice his brothers still awake. He would huff too—no need to wonder where Erge picked that habit up from—and he would finally set down whatever he was turning in his hands. He would whisper in that voice that only big brothers who wanted to be intimidating could do. “Sleep.” Dage would say in his rumbling voice.

  And Yue Xing would already feel his eyelids slipping as if they were only waiting for Dage’s command. Erge would shift beside him, most likely rolling his eyes before he turned to his side and pressed his hands over his ear, probably to block out all the noise.

  But Yue Xing would only smile. Content. Happy. Safe. He would fall asleep knowing he was loved and cared for by the people he cherished the most.

  On the first night in Liming Manor Yue Xing fell asleep feeling only cold.