“Did you find what you were looking for?” Cecilia said, breaking Alnea away from his daze.
“…I did,” Alnea said, closing the scroll, and putting it away into the storage pouch hanging by his side.
“What is it?”
“I will tell you later,” Alnea said, as he turned towards Vestia. “Thank you for the list, Vestia. It has finally solved one of my doubts. It is just that it was not a team mission, so I cannot give you any Stars…”
“There is no need for giving me any Stars. I already had most of the information anyway. I just had to sort them out, cross check with a few sources, and them combine them together… It sounds complicated, but it was not. It just took me a little longer than I expected.”
“Still, that does not diminish the value of your work. Besides, since I asked you for a favour, then I must pay it back.”
“There is really no need…”
“It is not a matter of need or want. This is something I must do, or it may leave blemishes on my Heart.”
“…Well, if you insist…”
“Let me think… Do you have anything you want from me?”
“You cannot give her any more promises,” Cecilia said, glaring at him with a pout. “Or do you want me to remind you of the consequences of your reckless behaviour?”
“…Forget it. Let’s count this me owing you a favour. If there is anything you need me to do, or if you have a request to ask of me, you can come to me anytime. As long as it is within my ability, and does not go against my Heart, I will do it for you.”
“…That’s still a little too much. All she did was give you a list.”
“That is not how favours are counted, Lia.”
“That’s why I asked you let me to do it for you.”
“And I told you that you that the task was not suitable for you.”
“How would you know if you would not even let me try?”
“…Then go and make a list of Wanderers from the Bluesoul clan who have come to the Lost City in the past half year. Keep it brief.”
“…You have already said that there will be no more missions in the future. You cannot go back on your word.”
“But you were the one who wanted to try!”
“I don’t care!”
“You…”
Alnea stared speechlessly at Cecilia, as she put on a pout, and turned away from him. Shaking his head with a helpless smile, he was just about to reach out to coax her, when Vestia interrupted him first.
“About that request… Can I make it now?”
“Of course.”
“…Then I ask you to treat me as a friend.”
“I already treat you as a friend though.”
“Do you?” Vestia said, with a hint of loneliness and melancholy flashing in her eyes. “Then why is it that everything between us is based on a transaction? Why is that if I do something you for you, without asking anything in return, then it blemishes your Heart, while Cecilia and Yuri can face the whole world for you, but it would not affect you in the slightest? Am I so unbearable to you?”
“Are you comparing yourself with us?” Cecilia said with a snort. “You do not know—
“Let us stay out of this, Cecilia.”
“But—
“This is between them. We cannot, and must not interfere. Or do you think Alnea cannot make decisions for himself?”
“…I understand,” Cecilia said, visibly more downcast than before, but still did not forget to glare at Vestia. Vestia herself though could not care less about Cecilia at the moment. All her attention was fixed on Alnea, observing his every action, even the way he changed his expressions.
“…That’s not true,” Alnea said after recovering from his daze, hurriedly denying Vestia’s words. “You are one of the few people I consider as my friend. The first friend I made in the Lost City. And one of the very few people whom I have given my Oaths too. To even think of you as being unbearable would be akin to denying myself, and what I stand for.”
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“Then why do you always keep me at a distance?”
“…I—
“When you said that you will compensate me for what I did for the team, I did not think of it as much. Especially since you used the logic of fairness. But why do you have to apply that logic even when we deal with each other personally? And if you really do want to be fair, then why do you never apply that logic for Cecilia and Yuri? If you really think of me as a friend, then why I am the only one different?”
“…I never noticed—
“Of course, you did not notice. Because you never considered me as a friend in the first place.”
“That’s not true!”
“…But I guess I can understand where you are coming from. The way I approached you… Anyone would have had doubts about my motives.”
“…I—That’s not—
“And you were right. I did approach you with impure motives. But I never hid my intentions. Not from you, and not from the girls next to you. If you had no plans on trusting me, then why did you let me join your team? Why did you act so friendly with me? Why… I truly regarded you as my friend, you know… Always trying to do my best for you, never asking any questions… And what did I ever ask in return? To get your recognition… To be your friend…”
Alnea stared at Vestia in a daze, not knowing how to respond. Especially when he saw the mist in her eyes. It was the first time he had seen her look so vulnerable. So weak. So broken. And it was happening all because of him. If only he had been more careful. If only he had been a better friend…
“Do you remember the day we walked around the city for the first time… just you and me? The things that I told you, and the things that you said… Do you know how happy I was when I heard your answer? To me, it felt as if you have finally recognised me. That you have finally accepted me as your fried, and not just as your teammate… To think that I even went around planning my days with you in the Union… You must have been having a good time laughing at how naive I am…”
“…I never laughed at you, Vestia. And it is not just you. I have also thought about us acting as a team even after leaving the Lost City. About fulfilling the promises that I made with you. To help you…”
“…Things have already reached this point. There is no need to drag this any longer. Just tell me. What do you think of me, Alnea?”
…What did he think of her? A teammate? No. She was much more than just a teammate. Even if partially, she was already a part of his Heart. A part that he could not do without. Why then, was he hesitating so much? Why could he not just make himself move forward, and wipe her tears? What was he worrying about? What the world would say? He had never cared about the world anyway. So, what was it?
“…What are you still thinking? Do you not have anything to say to her?”
“…I… I don’t know.”
“Really? Even after all that she has said?”
“…I… I never thought about it…”
“…Are you going to run away? I thought you had stopped doing that after that incident with your dreams.”
“…I… I am not running…”
“…The only one you are fooling with your words is yourself.”
“…I… I am not sure…”
“…Idiot.”
“What should I do?”
“…Ask this of your Heart. What does it want?”
“…What my Heart wants?”
“That’s right. Ask your Heart, what is it that it wants. A teammate, a friend, or something more…”
“But—
“What is your path to Clarity?”
“…To have a clear conscience.”
“Then ask yourself, what choice will keep your conscience clear?”
“…I don’t know…”
“You do not know, or do not dare to ask?”
“…I…”
“Forget it. What could have I expected from a fool… What was your recent realisation about yourself?”
“…Responsibility.”
“Then when are you going to take responsibility for your actions?”
“…I don’t understand…”
“Again, do you understand, or do you just not wish to understand? What exactly are you worried about?”
“…I don’t know… I… I don’t want to lose you…”
“…You fool. This is not a me or her type of situation. Let me put it in another way. If I were to be asked to choose between keeping you all to myself or to let your Heart be flawless, what do you think I would choose?”
“…I am sorry. I…”
“…No need. I already expected as much from a fool like you. Maybe, if you were a little arrogant and more self conscious of yourself, then things would have been different. But then, you would not have been the Alnea I know. Forget it. It is not unheard of anyway. As long as you are strong enough, who would dare to question you? It is just that you will have to face a few more challenges in the future, but that is the consequence of your choice. You must take responsibility.”
“…I will. And I am sorry. I really did not know when it happened… I…”
“…Maybe you did not, but do you think I could not see it happening from your side? If I wanted, I could have stopped things from developing any further back then itself.”
“Then why…”
“Why? Because I know how selfish you are. That is what you told me the day we met, remember? That you are the most selfish person in the world. And in a sense, I agree with you. Back then, we had met for only a few hours, and you had already decided to never let me leave your side. Do not deny my words. I know you better than you know yourself. So, yes, I could have stopped things from developing any further back then, but what would have been the point?
“I can stop you once, I can stop you twice, yet I cannot stop you your entire life. Rather than interfering with your choice, I thought that it was better to let you indulge in your selfishness once, and use this chance to teach you how to behave yourself in the future. Even if this cannot stop you entirely, it should still restrain you somewhat. Or else, I do not know how many people I would have to share you with.”
“…I am not so bad, am I?”
“…What do you think?”
“…I promise that I will never let anyone take your place in my Heart. For me, Alnea Oathkeeper, Yuri Faed will always be my core. Forever.”
“…Fool.”
“…Always glad to be your fool.”
“…She has waited long enough. Do not make her wait any longer.”