Elysha took a deep breath, letting the air flow into her lungs and calming her thoughts. With her eyes closed, she entered the realm of her mind.

  ‘Elder Mera told me to focus on theonum inside me.’ She mused. ‘If I think really hard and find the magic deep down inside me, then…’

  In the silence of her subconscious, Elysha tried to connect with her theonum core. She reflected on the teachings of Elder Merakia, remembering the simple act of turning a seed into a blooming flower.

  Wanting to imitate her guardian’s act, she visualized the process in her frame of mind and attempted to regulate the spiritual energy in her being.

  ‘…’

  She saw a vast expanse of darkness.

  ‘It’s only nothing. I only see nothing…’ Elysha thought to her dismay. Doubts began to fill in her mind, and she reacted by throwing them into the void. ‘... I can’t see anything but darkness… How? I can’t do anything…’

  She opened her eyes and looked up at her guardian, “It's harder than I thought,” she confessed. “How can you do it, Elder Mera?”

  “The beginning of learning sorcery can be difficult for some,” she said, undeterred by her initial difficulties. “Try again. Growth takes time, and the path to using your theonum is no exception to the rule of progress.”

  Elysha nodded, absorbing her guaradian’s words. She closed her eyes once more, clutching her staff in her gloved hand as she delved into the depths of her mind.

  ‘Takes time...’

  The child made the same attempt several times, over and over again. Each attempt brought her closer to her goal, but the connection she sought eluded her.

  “...”

  She bit her lips, refusing to open her eyes as her body felt a sense of restraint. Each time she called upon her theonum core, she saw only the same vision of unwelcome darkness and the feeling of growing wetness in her eyes.

  The black ocean of nothingness persisted, mocking her efforts.

  “...”

  Then a wave of uncertainty washed over Elysha, threatening to engulf her.

  Her hands clenched into fists, gripping her staff even tighter as her frustration reached its peak. “I... I don’t understand!” she snapped, her voice shaking. “Why...? Why…!”

  Elder Merakia stood beside her with a calm demeanor and unwavering patience, her eyes fixed on the young pupil. “As I said, it will take time to discover your theonum core and much longer to cultivate it,” she explained. “I do not expect you to progress quickly, nor do I undermine your potential, but a first practice is enough to be satisfied with.”

  She continued, “Do not be discouraged, and remember that your theonum core is a reflection of your soul identity and encompasses everything that makes you who you are. In time, you will discover your place, your role, and your identity in the world that is you, Elysha.”

  Elysha soaked up the Elder Merakia’s words like a sponge, but her mind was overwhelmed by the complexity of the task and everything her guardian had told her.

  “Who I am?” she muttered bitterly. “Not only do I have to think hard, but I have to imagine myself, too?”

  “Like a mirror, yes,” Elder Merakia nodded. “Your soul identity is you as your most authentic self. Try to imagine the picture and structure of your soul, think of the qualities and experiences that shape you. Picture what resonates within your very essence, your theonum core."

  Elysha nodded silently in agreement, though a frown formed at the corners of her mouth. It was already a difficult task to conjure an image of herself while navigating the intricate understanding of theonum sorcery, let alone grasp the eloquent depth of Elder Merakia’s words.

  Still, she wants to persevere.

  ‘My soul identity... what makes me who I am… and why I wanted to learn magic.’ she brooded in her thoughts. ‘Think, Elysha.’

  In the depths of her consciousness, in her mind’s eye, Elysha was in the midst of a vast expanse of darkness. It was a space untouched by light, its emptiness stretching endlessly in all directions. Rather than dwell on it, she continued to focus, trying once again to capture the essence of her soul identity and connect with her theonum core.

  Memories flowed through her mind, from her first meeting with Elder Merakia, to seeing her home for the first time and exploring the surroundings, to their breakfast together and how they bonded, to now learning the magic of theonum. Each experience felt significant to her, the relationship between mentor and student and the pursuit of magic coming together to form a chapter in the little girl’s life—a chapter in part of her soul identity.

  Elysha opened her eyes again.

  Nothing.

  Uncertainty gripped her mind.

  ‘Am I really that bad?’ she fretted. ‘Am I really lost? Will I make Elder Mera mad at me for being bad?’

  Elysha lowered her gaze, sad, her mind sinking into the abstract space of her mind. But when she looked down, her eyes fell on a shining sight.

  Iridescent fragments, bright as shimmering stars, lay on the ground in front of her.

  With cautious steps, Elysha moved towards the fragments, her chest and limbs anxious with anticipation. As she drew closer, she noticed that each fragment flashed something on its glowing surface.

  She crouched down and took a closer look at the fragments.

  ‘Huh? These are…?’

  Elysha blinked her eyes. Each fragment contained a different scene from a memory that belonged to the little girl. They glinted and the memories played amidst the darkness.

  ‘Memories… they are my memories.’ Elysha mused in her mind. ‘Maybe, if I hold them together and imagine my theonum core, my soul identity, then…’

  As Elysha reached out, her fingers touched the edges of the memories. She could almost feel their essence, their significance and their importance to her soul identity. Then, a second later, it was as if the memories shone brightly upon her, revealing themselves with clarity and depth.

  ‘—!’

  The first image she saw was of her guardian, Elder Merakia. She had a warm smile on her face as she looked at her.

  ‘Good morning, little one. Did you sleep well?’

  Elysha, partially covering her eyes with her hand, blinked again in confusion as the scene of her first meeting with Elder Merakia flashed on one of the fragments.

  ‘... From here I will take you to my home in the cottage, where it is cozy and warm.’

  ‘Home…’ Elysha murmured in response; feeling the sentimental connection to the memory.

  Then, as Elder Merakia hugged the small child in the scene. Everything became still, as if the memory had fallen into an eternal pause.

  Elysha turned her gaze to another fragment that showed the colors of the surrounding landscape—tall trees in the forest, their leaves swaying against the silvery sky. Daylight shone through the moving branches, creating an image of a scenery before her eyes.

  ‘Brrri…’

  Her ears picked up on a peculiar sound and she saw flying animated creatures swirling around the girl in her memory.

  ‘The strange creatures…’ she murmured, surprised because she remembered seeing them the day before. ‘I did seen them, they are—they are real to me.’

  She watched a little more of this scene before her eyes moved on to the next, and the next. The little girl felt connected to these memories, pieces of the picture of her own self.

  With her fingers, Elysha picked up one fragment at a time. Then, with the fragments placed together in the bowl of her hands, she drew her focus to the pieces to connect with them.

  She allowed their bright lights to merge and come together like a mosaic.

  ‘… Bring forth the power of the theonum on the palm of your hand.’

  ‘This garden is a world unto itself, waiting to be discovered.’

  ‘The natural world… is full of wonders that cannot be imagined…’

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  ‘… Fill it with your wishes and your dreams, and the emotions that dwell within you…’

  ‘You were sleeping soundly under a willow tree when I found you.’

  Elysha watched as the kaleidoscope of memories played out before her. Standing with the glowing lights in her hand, the fragments rose into the air and floated, almost suspended in time.

  Pulling herself out of the trance, she began to piece the fragments together into a shape. In her mind’s eye, the image of her theonum core began to take form, shining with light.

  The little girl couldn’t help but smiled.

  ‘I am almost there—my theonum core is right here with me, I… I am so happy.’

  Standing amidst the basking glow of her memories, Elysha felt a surge of energy within her as she moved further into the—

  ‘That’s a beautiful and lovely name for you, ------’

  “Ah—!”

  Elysha was pushed back by an unknown force, thrown several meters, and fell to the ground on impact, rolling over and over until she finally stopped. Fragments that had joined to form a core broke apart and shattered, scattering across the ground. The sound of their shattering echoed in her ears.

  The little girl shivered, confusion mingling with pain and clouding her mind as she looked around.

  ‘What… happened?’ Elysha murmured, trembling with fear. ‘I was pushed away, why?’

  She turned to the nearest fragment—it was the memory of herself opening her eyes when she first awoke in the forest, and finding herself in a similar position as when she first met Elder Merakia.

  ‘...’

  ‘... You found me...’

  But instead of seeing her guardian, she was confronted by a huge keyhole-shaped structure—a void within the empty expanse of darkness, more darker than the expanse itself.

  Elysha’s mouth was open, but she remained silent, her eyes wide and her heart pounding with fear as she stared at the mysterious structure before her.

  At the same time, she was curious in seeking answers. Not only that, but it reminded her of the object she wore around her neck.

  ‘Keyhole…?’

  The little girl hesitated, then looked around at the shattered fragments. Frowning deeply, she pushed herself up with shaking hands and cautiously approached the huge keyhole-shaped structure. Each step was slower and slower until she stood close to its presence.

  ‘I don’t want to…’ Elysha shook her head, refusing to open her eyes, clutching the necklace to her chest, her heart pounding even harder, filling her up with discomfort. ‘I don’t want to, I don’t want to, I’m—!’

  ‘------’

  She opened her eyes and gazed at the keyhole, her fingertips hovering centimeters away from the enigmatic structure.

  Whispers filled her ears, including a child’s laughter, with voices of gratitude and admiration. They tugged at her mind, pulling her into a realm of illusion.

  ‘I thank you for everything.’

  ‘The light… What a beautiful light…’

  Her fingers brushed against the dark surface of the structure, and in that instant, everything faded into nothingness.

  ~ ??? ~

  “sha—!”

  “Elysha!”

  Elder Merakia’s urgent calls drew Elysha back to the outside world.

  Startled, the little girl opened her eyes to find herself lying in the familiar surroundings of the pavilion. A ringing sound slowly faded from her ears, but a lingering pain throbbed in her head, reminding her of the strange encounter she had just experienced.

  The keyhole had disappeared, leaving only the echo of its presence in her mind.

  Catching her breath, Elysha turned her attention to Elder Merakia, who was kneeling beside her with a concerned expression on her face.

  “Elder Mera... what... what just happened?” she asked, her voice shaking with confusion and worry. “I saw my memories, and then... everything disappeared.”

  Elder Merakia placed her hands on Elysha’s shoulders and said, “Save your questions for later, dear child. More importantly, are you all right? You collapsed suddenly and were unconscious for a minute or two. You had me worried sick for a moment there.”

  The little girl looked down at her hands, struggling to find the right words to express her confusion. Her body trembled and her voice wavered as she finally spoke, “Elder Mera, I… I don’t know. I don’t know what you mean by that. If I can do it or not. I… I remembered and…”

  Elder Merakia lowered her gaze, thinking, trying to understand the turmoil in Elysha’s mind. She closed the distance between them and wrapped the little girl in a comforting embrace. In that moment, the child felt the warmth and comfort that only her guardian could provide.

  “I can sense it is overwhelming,” Elder Merakia whispered. “Remembering and delving into your own mind can be both exciting and unsettling at once. It is natural to worry and question your capabilities. But what you have experienced, even if only a glimpse, is proof of your potential and the power that lies within you.”

  ‘Power that lies within me… huh?’

  Elysha’s heart sank; her eyes lowered and tensed. She had thought she was on the verge of manifesting her own theonum core, but her expectations were dashed. The answers she sought seemed to drift further and further away, elusive and unattainable.

  Her hand instinctively went to her throbbing head. “I don’t want to give up,” she murmured, desperate and determined.

  Elder Merakia met Elysha’s gaze, her brows knitted together in a furrowed brow. With a raised hand, she placed it on the child’s cheek, caressing it lightly.

  “I know how discouraging it feels,” she said. “It is natural to want answers and to search for your potential. But remember, dear child, this journey is not about instant gratification or immediate results. It is about the growth and transformation that unfolds along the way.”

  She continues, “Therefore, your journey will take as long as it takes for you to grow. Your story is not defined by a single moment or revelation, but by your eyes that help you see the world for yourself, make new connections, and create precious memories.”

  Elysha clutched her chest as her heart felt a gentle squeeze. She lowered her gaze, frowning as she struggled for an answer.

  “Elder Mera…?”

  “Yes, sweetie?”

  She took a short pause before saying, “When I looked into my mind, I saw pieces of my memories and held them together. I only saw the ones where I woke up outside and met you. But I’m confused, Elder Mera... Why aren’t there any other memories from before?”

  Hearing these words, her guardian’s expression changed. “Do you not remember anything before I found you?”

  The little girl’s heart sank even more when she saw the expression on her face. She shook her head, her voice barely above a whisper, as if speaking made the words heavier.

  “Not… remember… anything?”

  Elder Merakia reached out and took the child’s trembling hands in hers. “It’s all right, Elysha, I am here with you.”

  “No, Elder Mera,” Elysha murmured out in a soft whisper. “I can’t remember anything before I woke up and found myself under a tree. I tried, but it was all blank, just darkness in my head. There are no memories, nothing from the past for me to hold on to until I met you.”

  Her words hung heavy in the air. Her guardian’s heart ached all the more the longer she saw her in such turmoil—for her young pupil, for the burden of missing memories and the confusion she faced.

  “Elysha, I see the pain and confusion in your eyes. I wish I could give you the answers you seek, but for now you must wait until an answer or solution is found so that you can remember everything. Your missing memories, the void in your past... it is troubling indeed.”

  The child’s eyes widened.

  “—!”

  As if in response, Elysha’s head began to throb with an intensity that surpassed anything she had felt before.

  “—tchk! Ah!”

  Pain radiated through her skull, as if her mind itself was struggling with the weight of her forgotten past. She winced, unable to suppress the mounting tension, and instinctively placed her hands on her throbbing head.

  “Elder Mera, my head… it hurts!” she exclaimed. Tears streamed down her cheeks, mingling with overwhelming frustration and helplessness. “It’s getting worse and worse... I don’t get why this is happening to me?”

  Elder Merakia was speechless when she saw Elysha’s current state. She did not hesitate to pull the child into another, tighter hug, wrapping her in her guardian’s presence and comforting her. She placed her gloved hand on her head, trying to cast a spell that would numb her to the pain.

  “I am here,” she said, her voice like a soft lullaby in the midst of the storm. “I will not leave you alone—”

  "Ahh! Aaahhhh!!!"

  Elysha’s agonized scream pierced the air as she broke free of her guardian’s arms and fell to the ground, rolling around and clutching her hands tightly over her ears as if to block out the pain inside her.

  Her head throbbed with a relentless intensity, her chest tightening and each breath a struggle. Her eyes widened and narrowed as if trying to see through the unbearable pain. And amidst the chaos, a cacophony of voices echoed in her head—her own voice, multiplied and distorted.

  ‘------... ------... Y-- -r- n-t d-s-rv-ng -f -x-st-ng, ------.’

  ‘Y--’r- n-th-ng w-th--t y--r m-m-r--s, ------. - l-st s--l w-nd-r-ng -n th- d-rkn-ss, s--rch-ng f-r s-m-th-ng y--’ll n-v-r f-nd.’

  ‘------, y--’r- -l-n-. N- -n- w-ll -cc-pt y-- fr-m th- tr-th -f wh- y-- r--lly -r-.’

  ‘-ld-r M-r- h-t-s y--.’

  The flood of distorted memories was inexorable and relentless. She tried desperately to resist, to push them away, but the pull was too strong. She found herself involuntarily plunging into the depths of her own distorted, pseudo-existent past, a relentless chase that only intensified the throbbing pain in her head.

  “Aaaahhhhhh!!” she screamed. “Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!!! Aaahhhhh!!”

  Tears streamed from the child’s eyes. The agony that appeared on her face was unbearable to watch. Elder Merakia nearly stumbled herself, not knowing at first how to alleviate the suffering that consumed Elysha. She watched in stunned disbelief as her heart broke for her young pupil as she writhed and screamed.

  “Ah—Hahahahaha!!!”

  Her screams turned into a manic laugh that echoed through the garden. Her hands were clasped to her face as her vision began to distort, tears streaming down her cheeks as she convulsed with laughter, the lines between sadness and madness blurring in her mind. “Ha hahaha hahaha hahaha hahaha hahaha!!!”

  The sounds rang in Elder Merakia’s ears as she quickly regained her composure, gathered her strength, and shouted at her, “Elysha, stop it! That’s enough of that! Calm down!”

  Her guardian hastily reached out to offer comfort and support, but Elysha seemed lost in her own fear and anxiety, unable to hear the words that were meant to comfort her. Her body was bent forward, her face to the ground, tears dripping from her eyes, and she was smiling.

  ‘I am ------.’

  “I am Elysha. I am Elysha.”

  The voices echoed incessantly in the little girl’s mind. The throbbing pain in her head persisted, an unwelcome reminder as she tried to dig through her memories, each time intensifying the pain and hurting her. Despite Elder Merakia’s repeated calls and physical actions to stop, Elysha didn’t even hear her guardian’s words or feel her presence. She pushed herself further and further, deeper and deeper, in a relentless search for the truth that was beyond her reach.

  With each attempt, her pain and the darkness in her mind seemed to grow and consume her sense of self. The emptiness gnawed at her, leaving her feeling hollowed out and lost, as if a part of her being had been stolen or gone.

  “Why?” Elysha’s desperate cry escaped her mouth. Tears streamed down her cheeks, mingling with her choking sobs. “Why can’t I remember?”

  Then she collapsed again, suffering unbearably as the migraine-like throbbing in her head wouldn’t even let her fall unconscious.

  Seeking comfort, she finally crawled to Elder Merakia, her tears flowing freely. She sought refuge in her guardian’s embrace, longing for the reassurance and stability that she offered.

  “Help me…” she begged weakly, her voice full of vulnerability. “It hurts,” she sobbed, trembling with each word. “It hurts so much. Why can’t I remember myself? Who am I?”

  Elder Merakia held her close, her arms a sanctuary of warmth and security. She stroked Elysha’s hair gently, her touch tender and soothing.

  “Let it all out, dear child,” she whispered. “Let those hurtful thoughts fade from your mind. Let them go, allow them to fade away. You are safe, my child. I am always here with you.”