How long had he been standing there?
I turned towards Joe, but he had left through the open window, cane and all. Stunned, I turned back, letting out a squeak of fright: Tony stood right in front of me.
Tony placed one hand on each armchair, shoved them over, then grabbed my upper arms so tight they hurt. His face was red, his jaw clenched as he stood over me, eyes wild, shaking with rage. “How could you do this!?”
I shrank back in fear. I had never seen him like this.
Then he shoved me aside, but not far, and turned away. He said through gritted teeth, “I refuse to be my father.”
I feared approaching him. “Please, Tony — let me explain.”
Tony’s knuckles were white. “Explain. How could you possibly explain this?”
This was what I most dreaded: telling Tony the truth. “It’s a long story.” I walked to the window, leaned my forehead against the cool pane, not sure where to begin.
In the dust on the ledge, it said, “10.”
Ten. That must be when the zeppelin left.
The clock above the fireplace chimed half past six.
I had an idea.
I turned to Tony, who still faced away. “I’ll tell you everything. I swear it. But ... I feel unbearably distressed, and you must too. Plus I — I’ve had too much to drink. We shouldn’t talk in such a mood; we might say hurtful things we’d later regret.” Would he go along with this? “Please, would you allow me a half hour to collect my thoughts? Wait for me in your study. I’ll tell you it all, I promise, and there will be no doubt as to the matter.”
He let out a bitter laugh. “To collect your thoughts.”
“Yes. I’ll make a list, so I forget nothing.” This was true, at any rate. “I swear to you, there will be no more lies. You of all people deserve the truth.” But I had never meant for it to be revealed this way. “I’ll tell you everything.” At this, I felt sad. “Everything. And I think that when you know everything, you’ll understand.”
Tony’s voice shook. “One half-hour.”
“Yes.”
He didn’t move. “Did you ever love me, Jacqui?”
I remembered the night he told me he confronted Roy, when I gave myself to him gladly. I regretted that still. “Yes, once, I did.”
He left the room, closed the door, and never looked back.
* * *
Pearson gave me a puzzled glance as I emerged but said nothing. I walked down the hall towards the veranda. The courtyard bell rang, and one of Tony’s men hurried past going the other way.
Stepping out onto the veranda, I stood by my little bird’s cage, alone in the darkness.
I placed my hands on the cold white wires. I could go to Tony right now, confess everything, and submit to whatever Tony and Roy devised for me. And if I survived, I could return to my life.
As Jon said, perhaps Tony and I could get through this. Maybe I could learn to love him. Or if not, maybe I could, like Molly — or Amelia — find some small happiness in captivity.
But I wasn’t like them.
I would die if I remained at Spadros Manor. Perhaps not all at once, but like my poor houseplant, I would wither, and eventually I’d lose everything that made me ... me.
Air died trying to rescue me from the Spadros Family. Joe might at this moment be fighting for his life to get to the zeppelin.
I couldn’t turn back now that I had a chance at freedom.
I stared at my little bird, and it stared back.
I opened the door to its cage. “Be happy.”
It hopped out and was gone.
* * *
“Amelia, I wish to take a walk before dinner.”
She gave the clock a glance. “Right away, mum.” She hurried in my closets and to the right, where she kept my walking dresses.
I went to the left, to my hiding place.
“I can get whatever it is you need, mum,” Amelia said, her voice muffled by the racks of clothing.
I slid open the wall panel. “No need, I have it here.” I retrieved my bundle: my blue dress, wrapped around Anastasia’s makeup book and the envelope with the rest of my money.
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I stared at Roy’s note, the scrap from Marja’s hand. I didn’t dare burn the first real evidence of the Red Dog Gang’s plot, yet the thought of taking them with me made me ill. And I couldn’t give Roy’s note to Tony — not on top of everything else.
So I left the notes there, where I hoped they’d remain until the Manor itself was destroyed. The panel slid back in place, and no clue to what lay behind it remained.
When I returned to my room, Amelia held a corset, dress, hat, and shawl, which she plopped onto the bed.
I set my bundle on the dresser, then unlocked the drawer.
The small envelopes with my evidence from the carriage David was transported in during his kidnapping. A lock of my mother’s hair. The pressed daffodils Jon gave me on New Year’s Eve. My magnification spyglass. I tucked these and the money in my handbag, set it on top of the dresser, and left the drawer unlocked, my loaded pistol inside.
My gaze went to the stationery-box, given from Tony’s love for me. My gift to him — the truth — was long overdue. A cruel gift, but the only one I ever could offer.
I poured a glass of bourbon, sat at my tea-table, lit a cigarette, and opened my stationery-box. I took a long drink and a long drag on my cigarette before writing.
Tony —
I didn’t tell you everything about the night Jack Diamond’s friend died. That night, my best friend Nicholas Bryce was murdered trying to save me from being sold to the Spadros Family.
Joseph Kerr and I pledged our love at sixteen. Yet Roy Spadros ensured this marriage with a gun to my head as we waited to enter the hall. He threatened to kill me if I told you the truth. He threatened to kill my family if I tried to return home.
Someday Roy Spadros may find me. He may even kill me. But I can’t live like this anymore.
I care for you, Tony, but as a sister does her brother. I neither wish to cause hurt nor scandal — but you deserve a wife who loves you.
Please make no true search for me. Take this chance: go to Gardena and win back her affection. Be with your son. You can persuade her father and brothers to accept you. It may help if you show them this letter.
Once a suitable time has passed, declare me dead and marry. Make a life of happiness and peace.
— Jacqui
I removed Tony’s wedding ring and moonstone, folded them inside the letter and put it in the envelope, which I sealed. I then wrote a list, and placed both the list and envelope on my dresser.
It was done. Hopefully he could use my gift to buy his freedom. But that was up to him now.
Amelia was draping my dress onto the bed, where the other items lay arranged.
“There’s no need for a corset or fixing my hair.” I smiled at Amelia’s questioning glance. “We’ll only be out a short time.”
She smiled back. “If you wish, mum.”
She helped me into my dress, hat, and shoes, then returned to the bed for my shawl. I placed my handbag, the letter, and my list in my right pocket. Anastasia’s makeup book went into my left pocket, then I removed my gun from the dresser drawer. “Turn round, Amelia, but do not scream.”
Amelia flinched when she saw my gun, but she didn’t scream. “Mum, why are you doing this?”
I picked up my favorite blue dress, the one Tony and I loved so well, and tossed it onto the fire. “We’re leaving.” I grabbed her arm and brought her through my closets. “Take a shawl.” She hesitated, so I thrust one of mine in her arms.
I dragged her through Tony’s room, into the hall, and down the stairs. I peered out. No one was around. I pulled her to the side gate and out to the street. No one was there either, which was odd. “We’re on a stroll.” I pushed the gun into her side. “If you call out or struggle, I will shoot you.”
Amelia gasped. “Mum,” she whispered as we walked. “I’ve always been good to you. Why do you threaten me?”
“Because I will not go back.” I thought of how much she loved Tony. “And I fear you might try to stop me.”
Amelia said nothing as we walked towards the taxi-station. I handed the carriage-driver a dollar and my list. Then I handed Amelia Tony’s letter. “Mr. Spadros expects this letter from your hand at exactly seven. He may kill you if he doesn’t receive it.”
The clocks began to chime the hour, and her face went pale.
I leaned out the window and hit the side of the door. “Run!”
* * *
Men stood outside Bryce Fabrics, so I had the driver turn into the alley a block away. “If those men approach, leave me here.”
The driver nodded. His goggles were on, his eyes distorted.
I crept down the alley through deepening twilight. The Red Dog mark on the wall appeared untouched.
Eleanora seemed astonished to see me at her back door.
We stood in the half-darkness of her back hall. Once the door closed behind us, I told her, “I’m leaving Bridges.”
“You’re leaving? Where?”
I shrugged. I’d forgotten to ask. “A friend got the tickets.”
She said nothing.
“Do you remember the couple in the police station who told you about my investigator business?”
Mrs. Bryce nodded.
“Tell me about the woman. Was she an outsider?”
“Yes, I’m sorry, I forgot to say. I suppose it was because she said she was from Dickens too. It surprised me, her accent being so strong and all, but she said she was from some part of town I’d never been to called ... what was it? Oh, yes, ‘Little Island’ I believe is what she said. I could barely understand her.”
This had to be Morton’s “business partner,” Zia. “Tell the men to beware of her. She’s no friend; I have reason to believe she’s a Fed, who’s working with the men who took your son.”
She might have even been the one who took him — a boy would be more likely to go with a pretty woman than a man.
“Why would the Feds take David?”
“I don’t know. It’s possible she abandoned the Feds to run with these men.” I sighed. “Who knows what goes through the mind of an outsider?”
Mrs. Bryce snorted in amusement. “They’re very different.”
“May I ask one thing more?”
“Of course.”
“Where’s his body?”
“Herbert?”
“No ...” I was going to say, “Air,” but she didn’t know him by that name. “Nicholas.”
Mrs. Bryce didn’t speak for a moment. “Mr. Bryce took him home. He’s buried in Bryce Cemetery.”
And they had all that fertilizer sent there. “Who knew of it?”
She shrugged. Crickets chirped in the distance. “He’s next to his father. That’s the only thing which consoles me.”
How could she stand losing him? Then to lose her other son as well. And David might as well be dead. I gazed at Eleanora with new respect. In spite of everything, she’d survived.
As if reading my mind, she put her hand on my arm. “You’ll want to see him before you go.”
I followed to her candle-lit back room, sat beside David. “I’m going to another city. I’ll send for you when I can.”
David lunged for me, crying out, “Don’t go!” He wrapped his arms around my waist, clinging to me as if I were his only safety.
Mrs. Bryce gasped. “It’s the first time he’s talked.”
I put my arm around David, kissed his hair. “I don’t know if you remember your brother Nicholas.” I glanced at Eleanora; I knew now what to give her. “He died for a reason.” I struggled to get the words out. “I was sold to the Spadros Family. My own father sold me. But your brother died trying to get me free. And now I have a chance. I don’t know what else to do. I don’t want to leave you.” I could hardly breathe. “But they’ll kill me and my Ma if I don’t.”
David didn’t move, his eyes tightly shut.
Eleanora’s mouth hung open for several seconds, then she knelt before us. “Davey, she has to go. All the men in the neighborhood are outside watching over us. Come on. Let go.”
David nodded, put his arms around his legs, and began to rock, but slower.
I felt as much a traitor as the first day I stood here, when Eleanora asked me to find him and I refused to go. “I’m so sorry.”
David’s eyes flickered to me, but he never stopped rocking.
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