I wiped away my tears, “I was so wrong about you, Michael… please forgive me.”
He shook his head regretfully, “It’s hard to get the true answers, when nobody is there to give them…”
I jolted from that remark, as he hit the nail on the head without knowing it, “You have no idea how true that really is…”
He put his hand on my knee, “You still had Oliver and AI, their friendship and loyalty is genuine, Andrew.”
I stopped thinking about my past life, as I realised that he was talking about the last year, “Oh… Oliver and AI? Yeah, they’re precious friends.”
Both of us had said what we needed to, in that conversation. My confusion was over, and the truth was finally made clear to me. I leaned back on the sofa, and AI appeared on the screen.
She smiled at me, “Andrew, I told you that Michael was a friend.”
I nodded, “Yeah, once again… you were right. What else do you know, but haven’t told me, AI?”
She shrugged, “I am quickly learning, that information is more potent, when given at the correct time.”
I nodded, “True. Knowledge is power, after all.”
I spent a few moments thinking to myself... what else did AI know?
I stared at the coffee table, “AI… What do you know about me?”
She tilted her head sideways, “I have memorised every conversation, every action and every detail I have on you, since the operation.”
I looked up at her, “What about… before I met the Angels?”
She paused for a second, “I have little information about you from then, Andrew. Just a social media page full of old addresses and a few friends.”
I looked her in the eyes, “Is that really all you have, or are you holding out on me?”
She looked worried, “No, Andrew, this is all I know. Why?”
I thought intensely, “... I don’t want you to look up anything on me before the Angels please, AI.”
Her face was deeply concerned, “Andrew, this is concerning. Were you involved in criminal activities?”
I looked away, “No. Just please, don’t look into it…”
She paused and then spoke gently, “Very well, I will leave that area in the dark, Andrew.”
I looked back at her, “Thank you, that means a lot to me.”
Michael looked at me with fascination. We met eyes, and I tried my hardest to give him a look. A look that said, ‘I want to leave the past behind me’. He instantly recognised that, as he nodded and went back to looking out the window.
Before anyone had any time to think more of my strange request, the front door opened. I looked at the time above AI, 4:21 PM. Of course, Oliver was back! He would no doubt have many questions about today. It was time for my therapy, I supposed.
I slowly stood up as I waited for Oliver to enter the living room. Instead, four people entered. Oliver entered first, then Ashley and behind her was… Aisling and Nadia… That was an unexpected honour. I stood there, surprised to see the two of them. I quickly looked behind them before Ashley closed the front door, and I could see at least four agents standing in the passageway, fully kitted up with assault rifles in hand. The security of the Angels was critical for AI. I looked back at the Angels.
Aisling waved with a smile, “Hi, would you mind if we visited for a spell?”
I looked at her confused, “This is your building… you can do as you please.”
Ashley growled in irritation, “You keep saying that, like it matters!”
I looked at Ashley confused, “It’s true though… this is not my place; I’m just allowed to stay here.”
Nadia took a step forward, “All you need to do is ask, and we will sign this apartment over to you in an instant.”
I looked away sadly, “I can’t afford… to buy it from you…”
She quickly responded, “No, Andrew, it will be a gift, for free.”
I turned to look her in the eyes and raised my voice, “Nothing in life is free!”
Everyone recoiled in surprise… I didn’t even realise I was that… angry.
I slightly raised my hands in surrender, “Sorry, I’m really sorry… I didn’t realise I was… this angry… sorry.”
Ashley looked at Michael and he nodded, as he grabbed the pill bottle from his back pocket. He held out two tablets for me to take, and I took them without a single second of hesitation. I couldn’t afford to burn bridges with the Roses leadership.
Aisling and Nadia remained where they were, as they simply looked at me, as if waiting for something… Oh, they were still waiting for permission!
I gestured to the sofa, “Of course you can stay! I’m always grateful for everyone’s company, please take a seat.”
They smiled and sat down, as did I. Ashley and Michael stayed standing in the corner, seemingly exchanging information. Oliver sat down next to me… and I was so happy to see him. I wanted to get straight into talking about today, when I realised that Aisling and Nadia had their red eye monitors on.
I tried to talk formal, “I um… I don’t know what the procedure is. I have never had Rose leadership- Oh wait, AI…” I realised that AI was also Rose leadership.
Nadia chuckled, “Andrew, we come here in an informal manner. It’s just a visit, we can all speak plainly here.”
I had to test Nadia’s claim, “You two look very… Intimidating, with the red monitors on your eyes.”
Nadia chuckled as they both took their little screens off and put them on the table… they really did look so much better without them.
I looked at the TV, “Sorry, AI, I think you just lost two sets of eyes.”
AI instantly responded, “I do not need to see you, to enjoy your company.”
Aisling bounced up in surprise, “AI… I’ve never heard you speak like that before?”
AI looked down with a frown, as she said nothing.
I leaned back on the sofa, once again surprised at how few people AI spoke with. I didn’t even need to make my case anymore, surely AI was realising from people's reactions, that she needed to try harder.
Oliver chuckled as he leaned forward, “Ok, enough bullying AI. I personally have far more interesting things to talk about right now.”
I looked at the Angels, feeling hesitant, “Right, therapy… in front of the Angels… this will be interesting.”
He politely offered, “We can talk privately in your room, if you want?”
I shook my head, “No… no more hiding.”
He looked at me, deep in thought, “Andrew, let’s start with… you feeling that you deserved your torture.”
He said it so casually, that it had even surprised me. Aisling and Nadia were shocked with how directly Oliver spoke to me. They had no idea… how much I had laid bare my soul to Oliver.
I looked down at the coffee table, “What more is there to say? I wanted to humiliate good people, and I felt unbearable shame when I realised, that they were genuinely honest people…”
He quickly responded, “So you felt that you deserved three weeks of inhumane torture?”
Ashley turned quickly to Oliver, “Jesus, Oliver! Tone it down, would you?”
He stared at her emotionlessly, “If you don’t like our therapy style, get out.”
Michael chuckled, “Oh, Ashley, if you could hear some of their first talks… it would make you want to kill yourself.”
Aisling was mortified, “Andrew, are you really ok with this?”
I looked at her for a moment, “When talking about uncomfortable topics… it’s easier to accept an uncomfortable atmosphere.”
Oliver looked back at me as he let out an impatient breath. I put my hand on his lap to show him that I was still paying full attention.
I asked him a question, “Oliver… what is enough punishment, for evil intentions?”
He looked at me coldly, “Not three weeks of horrifying torture…”
I looked down at the floor, “Depends on the person and the context, doesn't it? Wanting to slap a politician is hardly a crime, but wanting to slap a baby is despicable.”
He nodded, “Yes, true, I see where you are going with this… Still, I think there’s a strong argument to be made, that your self-punishment was excessive.”
I closed my eyes as I thought to myself. I would have mentioned that it wasn’t the only reason, as I had earlier mentioned the fact… that I had nothing to lose. I supposed that nobody really picked up on that, thankfully.
Michael then spoke, “You said you had nothing left to lose, Andrew. I won’t push it, but this is clearly related to what you mentioned earlier.”
I spoke frustratingly, “Yes, Michael, here I was hoping nobody picked up on that…”
Oliver lightly slapped my knee, “Are you keeping secrets? Holding back important information?”
I opened my eyes and looked straight into his, “Leave my past alone.” I couldn’t possibly have made it any clearer than that.
He looked away as he realised, that he had just reached a no crossing zone. He breathed out impatiently, and I saw him let it go in his mind.
He looked back at me, “Ok, Andrew, next question. Do you think your sacrifice was still for the right reasons?”
I nodded, “Absolutely. Even though I felt that I deserved the pain, I still mainly did it to protect the Angels- these lovely people.” I gestured towards the two Angels I had nearly forgotten were sitting right there.
Aisling and Nadia both stared at me with sad faces as Michael stepped forward with deep interest.
He looked me in the eye, “Since we’re being honest with each other, how about we take the rare opportunity to hear the uncandid opinions of the Angels?”
Nadia looked uncomfortable, “What do you want to know?”
He crouched to her eye level, “How do you feel, about what Andrew did?”
She looked down at the table for a few moments, “It’s terrible what happened to you, Andrew.”
Michael pushed, “I asked how you feel.”
Nadia looked at me and then to Michael, “What Ronald did was horrific…”
Michael was about to push again when I got tired of the exchange.
I put my foot down, “Michael, please stop.”
He stared at me frustratingly, “Come on, she’s not answering the question!”
I looked at him as I slightly raised my voice, “You should be asking yourself… why she isn’t, Michael…”
He looked at Nadia for a few moments, realising her extreme discomfort, “Oh…”
I tried explaining to him, “Michael, there are major differences between Nadia and Aisling. Aisling is the dreamer, the inspiration. She wears her emotions on her sleeve, and uses it to convey conviction, faith and hope. Nadia is a visionary. She sees the way to turn the dream into reality. She needs to find solutions, create strong arguments and have unwavering determination towards accomplishing the dream.”
Michael looked at me slightly confused, “Yes, I know this, what’s your point?”
I looked at him, “She can’t afford to let her emotions compromise her vision. She needs to be resolute, the very image of control.”
He tilted his head sideways, “So, she can’t have feelings?”
I shook my head, “No, she simply can’t react to them. She bottles her emotions, puts each one on a shelf, labelled. She can look at them, feel them, but not react to them.”
He shook his head, “Oh, come on Andrew, that’s not true-”
Michael stopped… as it was apparent that I hit the nail on the head, because Nadia had her head buried in her hands. Aisling instantly wrapped her arm around Nadia to comfort her. After a long moment, Nadia finally managed to speak.
She faintly whispered, “You know me far too well, Andrew, it’s uncanny…”
I stared at the table for a while, “In my life, I’ve had to be a good judge of character…”
AI spoke up, “Andrew’s character reading skills are truly impressive. This is how he made the agent summaries and cards.”
Aisling looked at Michael, then to me, and her face lit up brilliantly, “You two finally spoke, didn’t you?”
Michael smiled, “Yeah, I think we’re good now.”
I looked at Michael, “Yeah, we are.”
He looked at me, before he suddenly realised something, “Oi, my card! I want to see it!”
I reached into my hoodie’s internal pocket, pulled it out and I offered it to him. For a moment he just looked at it in my hand, as if it was the most precious gift ever. He took the card from me and looked at it.
He read through the card, “Yeah, military experience bla bla, crucial to the Roses bla bla… What’s this? Small writing at the end…”
He read it out slowly, “My hero, you inspired me to stand again. You inspire me to be stronger. May you forever stand as a giant hope for all, as I humbly rest in your shadow.”
By the time he finished reading it, he was smiling, for he looked truly honoured, “I don’t deserve this, Andrew…”
I looked at him with admiration, “You really are my hero, Michael. You may not see yourself that way, but to me, you’re Hercules.”
Aisling smiled at Michael, “You’ve been priceless to us Michael, it cannot be understated.”
Nadia looked at me, “You’ve both been foundationally critical to our success, without you two, we would surely have failed.”
I stared into the distance, “And so the dominoes fall, into a perfect picture of the Roses.”
*
I wondered about Aisling and Nadia. That was my first opportunity to truly speak with them, face to face. Many questions swirled in my mind when Nadia broke my distraction.
She frowned, “You’re not what I expected, Andrew.”
I looked at her as I gently responded, “What exactly did you expect?”
She looked away sadly, “I expected that you would hate us…”
I looked at her confused, “Why would I hate you?”
She stared at the coffee table, “Because… we’ve been so successful…”
I tilted my head sideways, “Not without difficulty, or so you’ve told me. That’s good though, isn’t it?”
Her face became heartbroken, “But you, however…”
I should have realised that was what she was implying… What did people want me to do, scream at everyone for the things I had lost?
I looked down at the floor, “If I were to release my anger and regret on you, or anyone else here, I would burn the only bridges I have left. Nadia, this is all I have now, the people in this room…”
Oliver nudged me, “I already promised you, that I will never abandon you, even if I have to leave the Roses.”
Michael seemed frustrated, “Why the hell are you so damn afraid of people leaving you?”
I looked away immediately, as I felt overwhelmingly vulnerable. I really didn’t want to answer that question. Michael had the tendency to read between the lines, far too well. Several moments passed and everyone realised I wasn’t going to answer. Aisling was looking at the table when she broke the silence.
She spoke formally, “Andrew, tomorrow we will be discussing you. For that reason, I would appreciate it, if you didn’t try to watch the meeting, or ask anybody about what we are talking about.”
I looked at her, “Am I still allowed to go to the headquarters?”
She smiled, “Of course, you promised me, right?”
I nodded, “Yeah, yeah I did.”
Aisling and Nadia stood up, for it was getting late and they still needed to return to HQ. They both hugged me before they opened the door and walked out the apartment, where the waiting agents were stood with their assault rifles. I noticed they all had black roses on their chests... I noticed that Ashley and Michael left as well, but the two of them seemed very… I couldn’t put my finger on what was strange about them.
The door shut and it was just Oliver and I standing in the passageway.
I looked at him, “What do black roses mean?”
He scratched his head, “They're a… kind of unique collective of agents…”
I pushed, “Oh, what’s so unique about them?”
He paused to get his thoughts together, “They were the orphans and homeless that Aisling and Nadia first helped.”
I wanted more information, “I see, so why do they have black roses though?”
He shrugged, “I think… it’s better you learn that from one of them yourself, mate.”
It was odd, I had made cards for nearly all the agents at that stage… why hadn’t I known about this? Had I just never noticed the black roses? ... No, I definitely would have. I think I’d just hadn’t seen those people.
I nodded, “Well, that’s the first time I’ve ever seen one of them. I hope I get to see one of them again, so I can ask their story.”
He smiled meekly, “That would normally be much easier said than done… but they now know of you, Andrew, they might be more… facilitating.”
It was very mysterious, and I found myself very curious about them. The next day, I would keep my eyes peeled for any black roses. It was time to sleep, though, or rather try to sleep.
*
The nightmare began to play out, the Angels let me rest in their lap… then it stopped, and nothing happened, as I simply lay there, looking up at the two of them smiling.
“Andrew.”
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I opened my eyes... It felt as though I had a better night's sleep again. I moved my arms and legs… and the pain was much less. Yes, I definitely had a better night’s sleep again.
I mumbled, “How long did I manage to sleep, AI?”
She instantly answered, “Seven hours and twelve minutes.”
I rubbed my eyes and slowly sat up. It barely hurt, as I found myself sitting up effortlessly. Words couldn’t describe how incredible it was, to manage to sleep well, after nearly a year of nightmares.
I looked over at AI’s tablet as I slowly climbed out of bed, “Let’s not ruin this good day with carelessness, shall we?”
AI was smiling, “Indeed, I will endeavour to predict any complications today.”
I gently ran the back of my finger over AI’s avatar, “Thanks, AI.”
I showered quickly, got dressed and went to the lounge. I was very pleased to see Ashley there, but she was with Michael. They were watching what seemed like a firearm presentation.
As I walked into the room, I looked at the TV, “The Roses aren’t afraid of guns, it seems.”
Ashley coldly replied, “Neither are criminals like the Bruiges…”
I waited for the video to end, as it was an interesting topic, about misfiring and gun maintenance. The screen changed to AI afterwards, she was holding a pistol sideways up close to the screen.
“So therefore, after the tragic injury that happened last night, I will be watching every agent today, as they clean and inspect their firearms, no exceptions.”
Michael tapped his pistol on the right of his waist, “You know I do it every morning without fail.”
AI nodded, “Yes, your military training has ingrained that habit, please continue in such fashion.”
Ashley didn’t have a gun on her for once, “Tonight I'll show you, as I clean my personal pistol.”
AI smiled, “Thank you, Ashley, please remember that being a good shot means nothing, if your gun jams.”
Ashley waved dismissively in a bored manner, “Yeah yeah…”
They both stood up, as they looked at me… were they both escorting me?
I looked between the two of them, “Is there a reason why the two best agents are here?”
Michael walked to the front door, “You’re a popular guy… let’s go.”
Ashley got in front of me as she looked over my face, “Hold on, let’s take a look… yeah, your face is less pink again. This time, though… we won’t fuck it up, headphones are by the door.”
I grabbed the headphones and put them on, as I exited the apartment. The drive was uneventful, other than the torrential rain. Michael helped me out of the car, and I tried to walk as quickly as I could to the entrance, as the rain soaked me.
The foyer was mostly empty, as expected, it was 10:32 AM, everyone was out doing their job for the day. I noticed that all the large screens were off. That must have been AI, preventing me from seeing the meeting about me.
“I hope I'm not in trouble…” I whispered just loudly enough, that AI heard me in my hearing aids.
Her voice was gentle, “Of course not, Andrew, do not worry about it.”
Michael was behind me, “Andrew, I must go to the meeting myself, so I’ll come eat with you at break, ok?”
I was still worried, “Alright…”
AI tried to calm me, “Andrew, I promise you, this is not something bad that we are meeting on. Please try to relax your mind.”
I wondered what it was, though. Was that about the apartment? Or was it about agents wasting their time with me? There was just too much to worry about. I scratched my head as I slowly walked to the cafe. I wasn’t going to get any answers, so I’d just talk with Heartly.
Heartly was yelling again at the back of the kitchen, “Turnips again? You have got to be- ok, fine, let me taste that…”
A moment passed, “That’s EXACTLY as mediocre as I thought it would be! Why on God's green earth are people turnip crazy? And why the hell did all my screens turn off?”
AI’s voice bounced across the kitchen, “Because Andrew is here.”
He paused for a moment, “Oh, I’ll be there now, Andrew!”
I saw his massive body walking through one of the kitchen isles. He instantly pulled out containers of soup. There were two containers again, I noticed… I guessed I was eating for two again.
I looked at him and then at the containers, “Morning sir, thanks for the food, I’ll eat it at lunch, if that’s alright?”
He smiled, “Ah, waiting to eat with mates, eh?”
I nodded, “... Yeah.”
He folded his arms, “I saw how much you enjoyed their company last time, can’t say I’m surprised you want to eat with them again.”
I looked at the containers for a few moments, deep in thought, “I’m not used to eating with company… I’m not really used to company at all, to be honest.” I was thinking about my whole life, not just the last few months.
His face became concerned, “Oh? You’re a loner son?”
I looked at him, “What? No…”
He tilted his head sideways, “Then why aren’t you used to company?”
I looked away, “I didn’t have much of it growing up… unfortunately.”
Heartly looked at me, deep in thought, “Bad relationship with your family?”
I should have expected that he would have listened that well… but I didn’t. I didn’t want to tell him about any of that.
I looked at the counter, “Can we not talk about this anymore? Sorry, but I didn’t intend for us to go in this direction…”
He winked at me, “Of course, forget I asked then.”
He was so welcoming, even though he was also very direct. He spoke his mind, but always listened in return. I guessed that he would make an excellent bartender.
I shook my head, “So, apparently the meeting will focus on me today. Not going to lie… I'm worried.”
He laughed, “Haha, don’t be, it’s nothing bad at all, trust me!” He reached over and patted me on my shoulder… which had actually calmed me a fair bit.
I looked into the distance, “In my life… what I didn’t know, was exactly what hurt me most. I hate not knowing…”
He nodded in understanding, “It’s nothing shady, son, they just need to discuss you… without you. I can’t tell you more, but I can tell you that it’s just the nature of the topic.”
AI spoke from the tablet, “Heartly, I have been struggling to explain this to Andrew, and you now explained it perfectly, thank you.”
Heartly patted the little tablet, “Always a pleasure to assist you, love.”
Heartly and I enjoyed further small talk, before the mass of people entered the hall. I noticed that every single person looked at me as they walked past, most walked a little slower as they did so. They were calculating something when they looked at me… and I didn’t like that at all.
Oliver appeared and his smile cheered me up instantly, as he took a seat next to me. Right behind him was Michael and Ashley, but they remained standing. I was about to start talking to them, when Aisling and Nadia approached me.
Nadia waved, “Hi, Andrew. Would you be so kind as to come to the Inner Roses hall after lunch?”
I felt nervous, “Sure…”
Aisling noticed my hesitation, “Stop worrying, Andrew, this isn’t something bad.”
I shook my head, “So everyone keeps telling me…”
She winked at me, “Then listen to us.” she pulled the wink off, because she was so incredibly photogenic.
Nadia looked carefully at me for a moment, “Andrew… you look so much… healthier, today.”
I looked down at my hand, it wasn’t shaking, “Thanks, yeah, I managed another good night's sleep… can you believe it?”
She nodded with a glorious smile, “I can, actually. I think you’re finding closure, slowly. The faster your mind heals, the faster your body heals with it.”
I nodded, “It would appear that’s exactly the case.”
Heartly passed some trays over the counter for the Angels. Turnip soup and toast… amazing. They grabbed their trays and waved as they went to their seats. I concentrated on eating my soup, as I had to get through two of them, so I had best get on with it. Oliver realised that he had something important to say to me.
He smiled, “Oh, right, Andrew I forgot! I have good news for you!” He reached over to get his tray of turnip soup.
I looked at him with intense interest, “Good news? Please, I'm all ears.”
He chuckled, “Haha, that’s ironic, mate. There’s a promising ear repair gel being developed, at a nearby university. It’s demonstrated the ability to even repair tinnitus!”
I thought about it for a moment, “Oh, then there’s hope I won’t need hearing aids, right?”
He nodded excitedly, “Exactly! Isn’t that exciting?”
I nodded, “Yeah… it seriously is… but then, I won’t have AI with me all the time anymore, though…” I looked at AI on the tablet, she looked back at me concerned.
Oliver stopped just before he took a bite into his toast, as you could see that he had never thought about that point. He knew that I valued my closeness to AI.
He looked sad, “Well… you can still wear the earphones, though?”
AI spoke from the tablet, “Andrew, there are always many ways for me to talk to you. When the opportunity comes to repair your ears, promise me that you will take it.”
I looked at her… her face full of concern, “I promise.” Her face changed to a glorious smile.
Out of curiosity, I looked down the counter, to see what Ashley was eating. It was the same as Michael, same size portion and everything. Steak, potatoes and salad.
I stared at her plate of food, “Now… I can understand Michael needing that much mass… but you, Ashley?”
She finished chewing her massive mouthful of steak, “I can’t be arsed trying to explain my food to you, Andrew, so bite me.”
Michael laughed out loud and so did Ashley. I guessed that the two of them were back on good terms again, which was excellent. Again, I found Ashley’s direct manner refreshing.
I managed to finish both soups again, amazingly. I felt a little less full than yesterday, but still quite full. When I looked around, I could see that everyone was looking at me with excitement.
I looked amongst them all, “You all look like you’re about to gift me a baby puppy.”
Oliver laughed out loud, “In a manner of speaking, yeah.”
AI looked at me with concern, “Andrew… I am worried.”
Everyone stopped moving when they heard her... what could worry AI? I instantly looked at the tablet with concern.
I spoke concerningly, “Why? What’s wrong, AI?”
She looked at me deep in thought, “Andrew, if I know you as well as I think I do… I cannot predict your future behaviour.”
I shrugged, “I can’t either, since I don’t know…”
She nodded, “Yes, but may I ask you a favour, please?”
I looked at her, “Always, AI.”
She folded her arms, “Please try to understand things from others' perspectives in the meeting. Try to put yourself… in our shoes.”
I nodded, “Alright, AI, for you, I’ll intentionally focus on doing that.”
She smiled, “You would make a fine agent, Andrew. You have the trust and willingness needed, to get the job done.”
I saw as Oliver tensed up. He knew how much I had wished that I could have been an agent… and how angry I was that I may never have the chance. I put my hand on his shoulder to relax him. Even though AI’s words hurt me, I felt… more forgiving to myself and more understanding. Maybe that was thanks to the reduced pain.
I looked at Ashley, “If I have to eat a massive plate of steak, then I don’t think I'll ever be ready to be an agent.” She flipped me the middle finger, with a big smile on her face.
Oliver looked at me sadly, “We’ll do everything we can to get you back to full capacity, I promise…”
I rubbed his shoulder more, “Oliver, it’s ok mate. Whether I’ll be more in the future or not… I just don’t want to be alone.”
He put his hand on my shoulder, “I’ll never leave your side, mate, never…”
I looked him in the eye, “I know… I know.”
People started standing up to hand in their trays at the counter. At first it was a few people, but then it was everyone. Again, they all looked at me with great interest, as they slowly walked past. What on earth was about to happen? Aisling and Nadia walked past smiling at me. I supposed that it was time to go see what it was all about.
I got up and started to walk out, when Heartly spoke, “Andrew, be graceful, son.”
I nodded, “I’ll try my best, sir.”
When I entered the foyer, I saw several members standing at the entrance to the Inner Roses Hall. They greeted me with big smiles, as I walked past them and into the hall. I slowly walked to the centre of the hall.
AI didn’t say anything, yet everyone stood up for me as I walked in, and they sat down after a short moment. I reached the centre of the hall, as Michael and Ashley walked past me to a seat amongst the other agents. Oliver was the last to enter, as he tucked something into the inside of his blazer pocket. As he walked past me to get to his seat… I almost thought I saw a hint of sadness in his eyes.
I quickly glanced over all the agents, for there had to be at least one single black rose there… but there wasn’t. What on earth was the black rose about?
AI was smiling from her massive screen, “Thank you for coming, Andrew.”
I looked between her and the two Angels, “I’m sorry if I've been a bother, for some new reason.”She shook her head, “Not at all, Andrew, in fact the opposite.”
Aisling stood up, “Andrew, may I ask you a question?”
I looked at her, “Sure.”
She looked deeply into my eyes, “How much do you think… we owe you?”
I immediately answered, “Zero pounds and zero pence.”
She paused, as she tilted her head sideways in confusion, “You think we shouldn’t owe you anything at all?”
I nodded, “Yup. If anything, I owe you all, for taking care of me over the last year.”
The hall filled with laughter, but I didn’t know what they were laughing about, since I wasn’t joking at all. I looked at Aisling confused.
She looked serious, “Andrew, we are an honour bound organisation, we pay all our debts with interest, we never cheat, and we never mislead.”
I nodded with understanding. I knew they were honourable; it was obvious to anyone who paid any attention to the organisation. They felt like one of the few… good guys.
She continued, “We are also democratic by nature; therefore, we vote on all major decisions.”
I found myself feeling a little impatient, “Why are you telling me… what I already know?”
She looked at me intensely, “Because we voted on two things today, Andrew. We voted on whether we should pay you for your sacrifice, and then we voted on how much.”
I didn’t say anything as I stood still. I then completely understood why I wasn’t kept in the loop. I didn’t get a say… in other people's generosity. I felt frustrated… I wished they would let it go!
I angrily asked, “So, what did the votes add up to?”
Nadia stood up, “The votes resulted in 98% saying yes, that we should pay you.”
I shook my head, “I really don’t want a single penny of your money.”
Michael stood up, “And we really can’t give you nothing in return, for all you did for us.”
I continued shaking my head, “And what about the second vote?”
AI spoke, “There were multiple options presented, If you look at the screens, you will see the choices.”
I looked up, and the board read:
- A fixed amount
- Private shares
- All profits AFTER his rescue
I looked back at AI, “Right, so the third is totally daft, so which of the first two won?”
She looked confused, “Andrew… option three won, with a 90% result.”
I froze… What were they? Crazy? Why on earth would they pick the most expensive option, willingly? … Oh, honour.
AI continued, “Our financier will continue on our behalf, if you would please, Mr. Crowley.”
Alex stood up as he looked at his tablet, “Right.” He rubbed his chin. “So, at the time we rescued you, the Roses balance was… 2.53 million pounds, including property values.”
He swiped the screen of his tablet, “Looking at our current balance, we are at… 89.77 billion pounds. Therefore, as soon as you provide your bank account, we will transfer you 89.7696 billion pounds.”
I stared at him… surely it was all a joke… right?
I spoke sceptically, “Right, enough joking, what’s the real amount?”
Alex looked up at me confused, “This is no joke whatsoever sir, we owe you 89.76 billion.”
I raised my voice, “There’s no way you can just casually give a single person that much money!”
He stared at me, “We certainly can, sir, we just need an account to send it to.”
I held up my arm, “Wait, hold on! Then what about the Roses? What money will you have?”
He looked at his tablet, “We will have 2.53 million.”
I looked around the hall, “You’re a global entity, you can’t operate on 2.53 million, surely?”
He smiled, “We will manage, sir.”
I felt furious, “All of this… because of your honour?”
AI looked worried, “Andrew… you said that you would try…”
I yelled back at her, “Yeah, but I didn’t think that meant I was bankrupting this organisation!”
AI held her hands up to try to calm me, “We will manage, but our honour and integrity is more important than our profit margins.”
I was panicking and could barely breathe, “NO! I didn’t do all of this, just to bleed this good organisation dry! I refuse! No, I won’t take it, what if-”
Alex tried to console me, “Think of it this way, now you can pay off the medical costs sir.”
I turned to him quickly, “What do you mean? What medical costs?”
AI put her face in her hands, “Alex, you should not have said that…”
Alex looked at AI, “What, did you not tell him?”
I looked back at AI, “I thought… the NHS… I thought…”
AI shook her head, “Andrew… the NHS was at full capacity. We had to use private hospitals and surgeons to operate on you. The medication we needed, was also in short supply, so we had to privately purchase that too.”
I looked down at the floor, as panic fully took a hold of me. I had assumed that the NHS was paying for it all… but if they weren’t… how much was it that I owed them?
My voice was laced in terror, “How much have I cost you?”
She spoke quickly, “It does not matter Andrew; it was not marked as an exp-”
I shouted, “HOW MUCH?”
She paused for a moment, “All expenses over the last year… ￡133 million.”
I was shocked and stunned… I knew private healthcare was expensive, but that much…
I stared at the floor in horror, “How am I… I can’t pay that, AI… I don’t… I don’t have a job; I don’t earn any money.”
Her voice sounded sincere, “You do not owe us this. We paid it out of our own pocket, Andrew, forget that, please.”
I shook my head as I felt myself fall into panic, “No, I owe you… I owe you a lot. More than I could ever afford… Why didn’t you just let me die?”
Her face was worried, “Andrew, please stop, the cost was insignificant compared to the value of your life. Look at us, we still managed to thrive, even with your medical costs.”
I screamed at her, “And now you want to lose all that money by giving it to me!”
I tried catching my breath, but my panic attack was growing by the minute, “If I have to choose… between owing you 133 million… or bankrupting the Roses… I choose the debt...”
AI looked behind me, “Oliver, Andrew is having a panic attack.”
Oliver came running over, as he wrapped his arms around me, telling me things like “Breath” and “Don’t worry, calm down.” But it wasn’t working… In my mind was the image of hundreds if not thousands of Rose members not being paid, because the Roses didn’t have enough money.
I fell to my knees, “I have become the very thing that destroys the dream of the Roses, Oliver, how did this happen?”
He crouched down, still hugging me, “No no, Andrew, everything is fine, we haven’t sent the money, we still have it, please my friend, just breathe!”
I looked around rapidly, trying to find something to help me out of that nightmarish situation, “I refuse! I won’t take it, not a single penny!”
Oliver squeezed me tightly, as I felt a stabbing feeling in my back. He had injected me, probably with a tranquilliser. I figured I had a few seconds before it kicked in.
“I’ll find a way to pay for my healthcare, I’ll find a w-”
*
There was no nightmare, nor any emotions in my unconsciousness. There was only blackness, and then I woke up and opened my eyes.
I looked around, and saw that I was still in the hall, but I was lying down. My head was propped up and I looked up to see Aisling smiling at me.
She gently stroked my head, “I’m happy that you never had any nightmares this time.”
I remembered then, what had happened before I was knocked out. I remembered their outrageous proposition. I would have gotten annoyed again… but whatever tranquiliser Oliver used on me, still had an effect. I felt slightly weak and lightheaded, as I looked around without moving my body, and I saw multiple people were standing around me, Ashley, Michael, Oliver, Nadia and Alex Crowley.
I felt guilty, “I’m sorry for the way I reacted... it was too much for me to process, and in my surprise, I panicked about the consequences.”
I sat up quickly, for Aisling’s closeness gave me the gift of painlessness, as I looked down at the floor in shame. I wished I didn’t react so emotionally like that… I always made such a big scene.
Alex crouched down next to me, “Sir, I absolutely must apologise to you. While you were unconscious, AI informed me that your medical costs were indeed written off. You do not owe us that money at all, sir.”
I said as politely as I could, “You are only saying that after the fact, to calm me down, Mr. Crowley. There’s no way that you, the financial head of the Roses, didn’t know that my medical costs were written off.”
He shook his head, “Not at all, sir. In fact, there are many financial things I was simply was not aware of, due to secrecy. These facts were only made aware to me, after we were all made aware of you, sir. I honestly did not know it was written off; I only saw the total costs when I skimmed through the revealed finances, I never noticed it was listed in the assets section and not the liability section.” His face was sincere, as he patted my shoulder to try to convey his honesty.
I looked at AI on her main screen… her face was concerned.
I asked seriously, “Is this the God's honest truth, AI?”
She nodded slowly, “Yes, Andrew, all costs in the past, present and future… I chose for them to be our expense, and not your debt. You do not owe us, nor can you pay us, since you simply do not owe us legally.”
I shook my head, “With ￡133 million, AI… you could have done so much more. Is my life really worth that much?”
As soon as I finished that sentence, I heard dozens of voices respond.
“Yes!”
“Absolutely!”
“Of course!”
“Without a doubt!”
“Obviously!”
“Don’t be silly.”
I looked around, and saw the sincerity on everyone's face, both around me and in the seats around the hall. I noticed that the agents had that look in their eyes… certainty.
Michael crouched down and looked me in the eyes as he spoke, “133 million, to save our saviour… I’d call that a bargain.” Everyone around me nodded in agreement.
I looked back into his eyes, “I’m not taking the money…”
He frowned, “This is our choice, Andrew, would you deny us our choice, our freedom to choose how we respond to kindness, and our ability to measure your worth to us?”
I looked back to the ground, “How can you say I’m worth ￡89 billion? Nobody is worth that much…”
Aisling stood up as she looked at me thoughtfully. Her face made me think that I had said something silly.
She offered her hand to help me up, “Stand up, Andrew, and walk with me please.” I took her hand and stood up; my body felt no pain, thanks to the Angels blessing.
We walked out of the hall, through the sliding doors and into the large foyer. The room was packed full of members and agents. It seemed that AI had wanted everyone to be in the HQ during the meeting… Aisling walked into the middle of the foyer as she waved and beamed her breathtaking smile at everyone around her. Her affect was immediate, as every concerned face was instantly changed into a cheery smile.
She stopped and turned to face me, “Andrew… what do you see in this room?”
I looked around, as I saw a legion of Rose members, dotted with agents. I saw a lot of smiles, but I also saw determination in the eyes of everyone I looked at.
I said certainly, “I see a bright future for this country… and for the whole world.”
She smiled at me for a few moments, before she looked around as well. She spun around, again and again, truly taking in every detail around her, every face in the crowd.
She looked back at me, “Do you know what I see, Andrew?” She looked down “... I see three and a half weeks.” Her face looked tragically sad.
I tilted my head slightly to the side, to show my confusion, as she kept looking at the floor.
She spoke slowly and reverently, “This building, these people, this dream of ours… three and a half weeks… was its true cost.”
She seemed trapped in her memories, “In those three and a half weeks, Nadia and I were afforded the time, to make connections with the people you see in this room. In that time, we got our first financial investments. In that time, we discovered our first agents, and AI was afforded access to more compute power in servers.”
She looked at me with intense gratitude, “The 88 billion pounds, these people, the agents, the Inner Roses, this building, the overseas branches… The lives of Nadia, AI and myself…”
She looked around at everyone one more time, “All of these things were afforded to us, because you gave us three and a half weeks.”
Many people in the room nodded in agreement. You could see they all felt the same as her.
She smiled at me, “Andrew, 88 billion is nothing, compared to the fortune that you’ve given us. We could never dream of repaying what you’ve truly given us… but 88 billion… is a good first step, though.”
I realised what she was saying... I remembered that AI had asked me to try to understand the Roses perspective. Standing there and looking at it all, I could see what Aisling meant. The time that I afforded them… was priceless.
I crossed my arms and shook my head. I realised then how important it was to them… but I literally couldn’t take the money, even if I wanted to… I couldn’t make a bank account.
I breathed out in frustration, “I realise now, just how important you weigh my contribution. But I still can’t take the money…”
She sounded desperate in her attempt to convince me, “Why? Are you still worried about how we will manage? Don’t worry Andrew, we can easily get more loans and pay them off fully in months!”
I looked at her sadly, “No… I can’t make a bank account, Aisling.”
She looked confused, “Why not?”
I looked away, “It doesn’t matter why, I just can’t. It’s impossible… so let’s try to find another way to work this out.”
She tilted her head in confusion, and after a few moments, she realised that I wasn’t going to explain at all.
She breathed out a sigh, “I don’t know, Andrew.” She finally admitted.
AI appeared on the large screens above us, “It is possible for the money to remain in our account, but belong to you, Andrew. This is called depositing.” I liked the sound of that.
I looked up at her, “Yes! So, what if you can still spend that money, almost as if… I was investing the money in the Roses!”
She nodded, “Yes, that would be possible. However, you will need to sign several papers for this to be legal and official.”
I thought about it, “But the money is still entirely mine, right?”
She smiled, “Yes, it will be your money. However, you will be classified as an investor in the Roses and will need to approve any of the spending of your money.”
I felt excited, “Perfect! That’s absolutely perfect! Win-win! You get to give me the money, and I get to see the financial security of the Roses!”
Aisling looked at me with anger, “Andrew, are you trying to weasel out of taking the money? Because from my point of view, it seems like we’re both not giving you the money and you’re not taking it either!”
AI responded, “No, Aisling, this is a legal account. The money will belong to him, and should he desire to take it all out of our account, he can do so instantly. In all ways that matter, it is his money.”
That raised some questions in my mind, “So how would I use my money, just out of interest?”
AI responded immediately, “You will be given a card, after the documents have been signed. Every purchase you make will instantly be approved.”
I nodded, “That sounds good to me. What will I have to do to approve the usage of my money?”
She smiled at me, “I can personally talk with you on a daily or weekly basis. I will list the amount spent and you will approve or deny it for me.”
I folded my arms, “Ok, that sounds reasonable.”
I looked at Aisling, and I desperately hoped that she would accept it. Everyone else was also looking at Aisling, as they held their breaths. If she refused it… it wouldn’t work. She looked me in the eye for a long moment, as she measured my sincerity.
Her arms were folded, and she finally dropped them to her side, her tone deadly serious, “Very well then, Andrew, I trust that AI isn’t misleading us. I trust that our vote and wish is being fulfilled in honest. Remember, this is all the Roses honour on the line.”
I looked her in the eyes, “After you made it so clear on why it mattered… I wouldn’t dream of cheating you. I don’t want to take the money… but I will, because the Roses ask it.”
A Rose member stood up next to me. She was short, with glasses, long black hair and freckles. She looked at me thoughtfully for a moment and then looked shyly away.
She spoke softly, “You gave us everything you had to give. We repay you, and you immediately find a way to use it, for our best interests... We don’t deserve you, Andrew.”
I spoke with determination, “I would gladly give my life, if it meant guaranteeing the success of this organisation.”
She looked concerned, “Why though, Andrew? Why is it so important to you, that you give it all to us, yet still feel that you need to give more?”
I looked away, “Because… I’m the very person that this organisation was made to help. I’m a young man… desperate for purpose and hope.”
There was more I could have said… that I desperately wanted to say, but they didn’t need to know.
The shy girl paused as she scrutinised my face, “No, that’s not why… you’re hiding something from us. I just hope that it’s not a dark secret, Andrew… because I love to admire you.” She looked down at the floor humbly, waiting for my response.
I tried to sound sincere, “You’re right, that’s not why… but I don’t want to talk about the real reason, at least not right now, please.”
She looked back up at me, as she read my face, “Phew, it’s not something dark and terrible, I'm so glad…” She smiled and sat back down.
I walked back to the hall with Aisling. Everyone in the hall already knew what was agreed upon, for AI was showing the foyer cameras for the Inner Roses. Alex shook my hand, mentioning that it was a genius solution to a challenging problem. Michael bothered me about not explaining why I couldn’t make a bank account. Nadia was simply happy that a resolution was found. Oliver said nothing, and I knew it was because he felt terrible about sedating me… I would talk with him about it, during our usual evening therapy session.
I signed the papers, and AI explained the legal stuff to me in a simple way. Once AI was satisfied that all the paperwork was correct, I left. I needed time to think, not just about today… but about what that shy girl spoke of. I needed to ask myself, just how long my past should have remained a secret.