I can’t believe she fainted again. I mean, it is completely my fault, but still.

  I walk over to Eva and take off her mask. I pull one of her eyelids open and she is entirely unresponsive. It’s like she fell asleep standing up. You’d think a cultist wouldn’t be prone to fainting, but here we are.

  I guess we’re taking a break... “Breakfast! Ha!”

  Nobody laughs at my amazing pun, if someone did, it would scare the crap out of me. In all seriousness I’m very hungry. I wonder if those monster moles are edible?

  Well, only one way to find out!

  I make sure to properly drain the blood out of one of the Abominable Moles before skinning and butchering it. The problem now is how I'm gonna Cook it.

  It sure would be convenient If we had someone here that could make fire out of nothing.

  I look down at the unconscious Eva expectantly. It took half an hour to prep the mole to be cooked and I half Expected her to be up now. It looks like I have to make a fire myself.

  I need some sort of fuel for it, but I already know what to use. I grab the extra cloak we got from Eva’s dead buddies. I break a wand in half and rubbed one end of the wand against the other, creating friction. Once I have a small flame going I place it into the cloak.

  The fire eventually sticks and there! One fire! Who needs magic.

  The strange physiology of the Abominable Mole gets weirder, because ribs are just placed haphazardly around its body. They're the perfect size and shape to be used as skewers though.

  I make about 10 mole kebabs and place them around the now large fire, creating a tipi of meat sticks. I use my own cloak as cushioning to sit in front of the fire. Doing that made me realize, wouldn't Eva be uncomfortable sprawled out like that?

  I move Eva closer to the fire and prop her head on top of her mask. She's not dead, I checked. Just asleep.

  I turn back to the fire to make sure I don't burn the mole meat. After a few more minutes I hear Eva stirring.

  “Ugh, my head… What's that smell?”

  “That, my friend, is breakfast.”

  Eva raises her head and slowly cranes her eyes open towards the fire. “Breakfast? Wait, you made food?”

  “Yep!” I grab one of the kebabs “I present to you, ambiguous mole meat!”

  She stares uncomprehendingly at the meat I’m waving in front of her face. “Y- y-you know how to cook?! How?”

  I grin at her confusion “What Eva? Did you think I wouldn’t know how to cook?” I pull the kebab away from her and bite into the cooked meat. It’s very chewy as expected, but surprisingly it’s flavor is incredibly close to that of salmon. That does not make any sense.

  “You know Eva, I nearly went to culinary school, but I decided that it wasn’t for me. Even still, one of the classes I was offered was Cook! Ha! Could you imagine me, a Cook! Hehe.”

  Eva looks on, unable to process what was just said. A silence hangs between us for an awkward amount of time. I look over to see her eyes glazed.

  I sigh “Eva, you fainted again. That’s twice now. Don’t make it a third.”

  Eva's eyes widen again as an all too familiar fear takes her. I shake my head “That wasn’t a threat! Listen, I was just playing around with you. I just don’t want you to faint again.”

  She furrowed her brows “I- I can’t understand you.”

  I nod “That’s because I like it that way. You shouldn’t let it affect you to the point of fainting. Just accept you won’t understand and move on.”

  “You're an Eldritch Horror, aren’t you?”

  I pause “What?”

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  “I figured it out! Your father is Nyarlathotep, King of Shapes! You're feeding off my confusion! That’s why you haven’t killed me yet and returned to hell!”

  She stands up and points at me “You’re a demon of great power, even if you pretend to be lower leveled than me!” She raises her arms above her head as red magical lines flow down from her eyes like tears. Eva’s hands become ashen black and claws grow out of her fingertips.

  I blink at her “What are you doing?”

  The whites of her eyes turn black and her glowing gold iris burns red “I call upon the amputated hands of the first devil to send this horrid creature back to hell! I beseech thee supreme dark one! Return your descendant from whence it came!”

  I stupidly stare at her “Uhhh.”

  “FORCED DEMONIC BANISHMENT!”

  Eva claps her clawed hands together and a strange wave of energy washes over me. Eva’s form reverts back to normal instantly.

  She drops to her knees and starts panting. Eva start’s to chuckle. “I did it. I actu-”

  Only to be cut off by me bursting out laughing. It was too good. I knew pretending to be a demon was gonna be fun, but from what looks to be an extremely powerful spell being wasted in such a manner was absolutely amazing. That speech too, oh man!

  I control myself just enough to look at her horrified face which only makes me laugh harder.

  “H- how is this possible? Any demon under level 146 would have no chance of resisting.”

  I want to laugh even harder, but manage out a few words “You idiot! I'm not feeding off your confusion, I just think it's funny!”

  After a few moments I finally managed to control myself. I let out a strained sigh “Anyway, if you're wondering. I'm not mad that you tried to send me to hell. So, get over here and grab some food.”

  I started eating the salmon tasting meat. I look over at her a few times as Eva just stands there and stares at me. “Come on, already! Before your food gets cold.”

  Eva blinks a few times before finally sitting back down. She slowly grabs one of the kebabs and silently nibbles at the end of it. I slowly reach over and poke her shoulder. Eva doesn’t react at first so I poke her again harder.

  “Yes?”

  “You okay? That spell or skill or whatever looked very strong.”

  Eva frowns at me “That spell took two centuries off my lifespan. I’m not doing- ok. And it didn’t even affect you! That was my last shot at getting out of this situation alive and now… All I can do is wait for you to kill me.”

  I stare at Eva with my mouth open, and after a second my kebab slips out of my hand. As soon as the kebab hits the ground I jump out at her. Eva’s eyes widen for a second before she closes them and raises her head. I sense relife wash over her and her soul dims.

  I grab her shoulders and shake Eva until her eyes open. “Oh my god! I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to hurt you!”

  I notice Eva’s soul lights back up again “What?”

  “I- I’m! How long do elves live?!”

  Eva blinks “Um uhh- yes, a thousand years or so?”

  “And how old are you?!”

  “I’m 78 years old.”

  I want to feel relieved hearing that, but I can’t “that’s 20 percent of your life.”

  My heart drops. I feel genuinely awful for pushing Eva to do that to herself. Despite how much I antagonized her, I still very much wanted to be her friend. I don’t think we can anymore. “I’m sorry Eva, I really am. And I’m not saying that to trick you or confuse you. I’m just… sorry.”

  Eva stammers for a moment, but falls silent when she realizes that I’m hugging her.

  “I- I don’t know anything about this world and I know things that I shouldn’t. So, I thought it would be funny if- but now you’re-” I feel tears run down my face. Real, actual tears. Huh, I thought I was better at controlling my emotions. “I’m sorry.”

  After a few moments I pushed myself away from her, now slightly embarrassed I just bawled all over her shoulder “ahh- anyway. I- If you want to leave me, that’s fine. I won’t stop you.”

  I see Eva’s soul light up again before returning to normal. I realized I got a notification. I was too distracted to notice.

  (Magical Aura Perception) has leveled up! (2 → 3)

  Huh, that doesn’t make me feel better.

  “Okay.”

  I look back at her from my screen “huh?”

  Eva doesn’t say anything else. She goes to pick up her mask and puts it on. Then she turns to where we came from and starts walking away.

  “Uh- wait!”

  Eva stops to look at me.

  “Um, shouldn’t at least take some food.” I gesture at the now smoldering campfire. “Aren’t you hungry?”

  Eva looks down at the roasted mole and then back at me. “Elves don’t eat meat.”

  She continues to walk away until the darkness takes her.

  “Oh.”