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Chapter 11 – The Monastery, part 3 (of 4)

  “Give me a clue, lady!”

  It was obvious that she had become accustomed to the quiet of the monastery. She remained silent longer than Alastair expected.

  “How about this? I’ll walk you through solving this section. Then you drag me beyond the boundaries of my comfort to the city or the farms. Regardless if I’m an automaton or not, you get an achievement and maybe some insight into solving another puzzle.”

  “I’ve been up for not overly long. Do you say the beer is exceptional? Let’s go get a beer while I think it over.”

  Galoots said, “You know it’s not even nine, right?”

  “In my last seventy-two hours, I’ve staged a stagecoach coup, turned down a Mayor’s harem, watched a farm burn down, and my wife of seven real-world years left me because I’m too controlling. A beer is the least of my worries.”

  Galoots led Alastair to a nook. He sat and a moment later she came back with a couple of mugs. “Beer is easy to get here.”

  “I’m generally annoyed.”

  “You still haven’t read the t.o.s., huh. I guess I only mentioned it about thirty minutes ago. Regardless, you’re a consumer of media, and Solar Cell is a company. They limit their liability because you choose to participate and then they trap you in a video game. What’s so strange about that?”

  “And yet, here you are.”

  “And yet…I’m at least paid for my time here. Although, I’m not sure how they factor time compression into my overtime. It should be a lot, but that’s a good note to bring back to the real world.” Galoots started to do figures on her fingers.

  “Why haven’t I seen any cats, here?”

  Galoots released the finger she was counting on, then looked at Alastair with annoyance. “They’re around. They seem to swirl around the temple. I think there are 24, but I’ve only pet 20.”

  “Why 24?”

  “There was a note in the Solar Cell guidance talking about interface controls as they relate to cats. In the playtest, there are likely six to eight active locations, and the interfaces unlock under the Fibonacci sequence. Yeah, I know, it’s a contrivance. But what here isn’t? So, anyway, me and my team did some calculations and guessed that there are 144 cats, 13 interfaces, and 8 locations. I’m not a mathematician, but it came up that you start at a double zero, the numbers align. It’s a lazy arbitrary control.”

  Reading on this site? This novel is published elsewhere. Support the author by seeking out the original.

  Alastair said, “It doesn’t NOT make sense.”

  “Yeah. It’s like they wanted to rush this thing to completion without thinking about how the parts fit together. I think it’s because they’re suffering from the HSE freemium model.”

  “I hated that.”

  “That’s the consensus amongst players. I can recall figures if you like?” {Alastair would not. But for you, dear reader, there were .16 million users who stopped paying the nominative fee of $2 per day (reduced with monthly and yearly subscriptions), which equates to roughly 86 million USD per year. The freemium model, which allows for ‘infinite growth,’ has only brought in .22 million users, but they have purchased only 30 million USD worth of Solar Cell products. In effect, the CEO is regretting his decision, but is ready to double down on a bad mistake…he’s bad at maths and doesn’t realize he already lost the hand.}

  “So, does the documentation say how we can escape?”

  “Oddly enough, yes. ‘Section 15. Release. Paragraph 12. Section 3. Player exit. Players shall be released from the playtest by choice via selecting a logout option. Section 4. Players shall also be forcibly logged out by completing their section of the playtest within a specific time unless: a) failure to meet minimum achievements; b) failure to unlock sufficient interfaces; c) failure to defeat the game boss; d) obtaining a rage level of 10: e) [null].”

  “Yikes, that’s specific.”

  “Well, bub, sorry to say it doesn’t support your ambiguity or confusion.”

  “Those conditions don’t even really match up. Seriously, I’m not a lawyer, but what is a ‘specific time,’ supposed to mean?”

  “Ah. That’s a funny one. I think that’s just a placeholder that didn’t get finished, and now is screwing us over thoroughly.”

  “So they didn’t define the time, and our time is therefore…forever.”

  “Legally they’re protected by that. I’ll have fun unpacking that one if we escape.”

  Alastair looked at the terms of service. Then he read them. Then he wondered how they made it through the Solar Cell Legal office. Then he wondered how screwed over he was.

  “This…is astoundingly obtuse. How could they bind someone to this?”

  “That’s in section 4, paragraph 2. Basically, you signed up for it by playing HSE.”

  “I didn’t read back that far. You know I didn’t sign up for the playtest, right?”

  “Look, Al, we’re a couple of three or four beers deep. I’m not an attorney. Digging through this isn’t going to help you. And I’m sorry I introduced it to you at all…

  “Feels like there is a ‘but’ coming.”

  “But you’re an adult. You know the loopholes only exist for stories. They’re fairy tales.”

  “Are you suggesting we do something else?”

  “Yeah. It’s just after noon. I can grab you a loaf of bread and find you a cot. Use the bread to absorb the beer in your belly or as a pillow. You know what, I’ll get you two loaves so you don’t have to choose. Sleep it off for a while. Then you can face the world and the bad game legalese to your heart’s content, right?”

  Al didn’t fight hard, but he said, “Why are you helping me so much?”

  “I’m tired too. I want a nap. But I want to see how you get us out of this, so I’ll be damned by the goddess if I let you out of my sight.”

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