“What is a dao?” I asked no one in particular. Kei glanced up at me from where she’d been playing with a toy boat I’d made for her out of wood and shrugged, then promptly went back to pushing it along in the little creek she knelt at. We were sitting in my garden, her enjoying playing with the plants and little spirit beasts I kept – there was a monkey swinging through the trees Kei liked to laugh at – while I fretted over the idea that had been teasing me for the past few hours.
“I dunno,” she said, returning to making boat noises. I looked down at the chunk of wood I had in my own hands, thumbs pressing into it and molding it like clay. A boat was slowly forming, a rudder and mast forming as I pressed it into shape. Sure, I could easily make it take the form of a boat with the wave of my hand, but there was something cathartic about doing it this way.
“Is it some thing that sits out there, in the aether, a law of creation?” I continued, twisting the wood to make a little propeller grow from the top of the boat. A little flick set the propeller to spinning, my wooden galleon floating into the air on a current of wind I controlled. It circled around Kei, her ears flicking in annoyance as she shot me, and it, a little glare.
“Hey! Ships don’t fly!” she protested.
“Airships do,” I replied absently, drumming my fingers on the soft soil. Kei pouted and I shot her a small smile – but my mind was far afield, feeling out my own powers and thoughts. This incarnation didn’t have enough presence of mind for this – a small request went out to my other incarnations, who I was only tenuously aware of. One of them was even somewhere in the gardens, arranging plants and things or rebuilding the palace proper.
One quick argument with myself later and my request was granted, a bit of power siphoned off of the other incarnations to fuel this one and increase its awareness. Immediately the world brightened, individual rays of light reacting to my very thought, the grass beneath me becoming softer, the song their little plant-souls sang a little louder.
I felt Reika before she appeared, a breath on the wind slowly drifting toward me. Kei perked up just a few seconds later, staring at the space Reika would appear at with ears twitching – and promptly leapt upon her mother the moment she appeared in a swirl of leaves.
“Mom, Grandpa’s being weird!” She complained, wrapping her arms and legs around Reika and clinging to her like a monkey. Reika stumbled a little at the sudden impact, smiling fondly and patting Kei’s head.
“When is She not being weird?” she asked, shooting me an amused look. I shrugged, having nothing to say to that.
“Yeah, but He’s being, like extra weird.” Kei whined. I cut off whatever Reika was about to say with my own question.
“What is a domain?” I mused, Reika arching an eyebrow at me while Kei gave her a look that screamed see?! “A divine domain, I mean. Is it like a Dao? Something else? Am I just the Deity of Balance?”
“Are you…having an existential crisis?” Reika asked, no small amount of panic in her tone. I shook my head and smiled softly as I stood, clasping my hands behind my back and pacing.
“No, I’m trying to work something out. I need…” I cast my senses outward, searching for someone who could help me explain my thoughts. The closest was Argent, the elemental god of metal, as he flew through space away from Elvira’s palace. I had to borrow the senses of my true body to do it – this incarnation didn’t have the power to sense all that far away from me. Actually, now that I looked, there were quite a few gods flying away from Elvira’s palace…thoughts for later, enlightenment now. “Argent, would you be a dear and come to my garden, please?” I sent telepathically, clearly catching the god by surprise if the way he jolted and looked about frantically for a brief moment was any indication.
It was only a moment, however, and soon he was hurtling through space toward me. A few other gods seemed to follow, but I refocused on what was in front of me.
“He was asking what a Dao was, too,” Kei whispered.
“My question is; is a Dao some mysterious force in the universe – and what do you understand about it?” I asked, meeting Reika’s eyes. She gently peeled Kei off of herself, taking a few wary steps toward me. I scowled at her in annoyance, sensing her concern and knowing it was misplaced. “No, enough of that. Silence your thoughts and answer the question.”
“I don’t understand it.” Reika confessed. “Nor where it is coming from.” In that moment, Argent arrived, landing softly beside me. His skin was a copper tone today, each individual strand of hair a different alloy or color of metal. I laid a hand on his shoulder before he could even speak.
“Take Argent here, the god of metal. Is that all he is?” I asked.
“…yes?” Argent said slowly, voice deep and rumbling. “Though I am a divinity, so saying that is all I am is a bit hurtful.”
“A soul that focuses too much on one thing is destined for failure, and refuses growth.” I denied, the longer I talked the more ideas came to me. “If you only took the Dao of metal to the realms of divinity, you would not have become a god. No, although metal is the strongest aspect of your being, it is not the only aspect. I see in you the divine paths of all five elements in your…cluster. Metal, wood, fire, water, and earth, each swirling around each other, supporting one another, and allowing your focus on metal to grow stronger.” I reasoned.
Argent furrowed his brows, working his jaw in confusion, but Reika’s eyes seemed to light up in understanding.
“Just as the concept of metal does not solely mean the physical aspect of metal, but the metaphorical as well.” She said slowly. “You’ve talked about this before. How certain elements – almost all elements – can be metaphorical, standing for more than just what the name claims. Argent is also determined, steadfast, a fair teacher, all traits we assign symbolically with ‘metal’…but none of those qualities can stand alone without the passion of fire, the growth of wood, the flexible wisdom of water, or the stable foundation of earth.”
“Oh,” Argent said, blinking. His eyes grew wide as he looked at me, realizing something about himself in that moment he hadn’t ever considered before. That was the enlightenment I was chasing now – I knew whatever I was thinking of, at a fundamental level, but a simple change in words could alter my entire perspective on my being. I needed more power for this.
Another request for power was sent out, and I didn’t bother to wait for an answer to continue.
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“And yet, did you follow some inherent path that exists? Is there a great Dao of Metal that sits somewhere out there, in the Primordial Chaos, in the depths of the Four Realms, sitting there that you followed to the point of divinity?” I asked, vaguely aware that a larger crowd had started to form. Gods and spirits now surrounded me, listening intently to my ramblings.
“…I always thought it was you who guided me,” Argent said slowly. I paused, mouth open and statement half-thought, his words utterly blindsiding me. Guidance. Was it really so simple? Had I truly been missing something so…simple?
“It was,” I admitted, understanding dawning. I turned around, golden light flowing from my finger as I began to write in the air, drawing first the symbolic chart of the Chinese five elements, the path that Argent followed, then everything else I had said so far in the air, the words hanging there as motes of golden light. “You followed my understanding of it at first, that was what put you on the path when you were a young soul. Somehow you tapped into my own energy, intent, and understanding of the universe – you listened to it, absorbed it, and let it grow within you, following the path until you became a divinity. A god.”
“Through You, all things are possible,” the angel Stilicho said, appearing in a flash of light. I pointed at him dramatically.
“Ah HA! That is not where I was going with this! Because Argent diverged at a certain point – the Dao, the path he follows has been internalized. No longer does he rely on me to teach him, he is now forging his own path into the beyond. I have my Dao to follow, and he his. He had to become his own – the Dao he follows is still part of mine nominally, however, because mine was the base.” I explained, nodding my head. Part of the nature of my own domain was that it encompassed quite a bit – metal is far more specific than something like balance.
Was that the difference between power-levels between gods? Specificity of divine daos and domains? I didn’t understand enough to answer that question.
“Why do you keep using the word Dao?” Alexander asked. “You rarely used it before.” I glanced at him, sitting in my garden surrounded by a dozen other spirits and deities. When did he get here? I tapped my chin thoughtfully, chasing that question. The answer came easily enough.
“Mortals,” I said. Specifically Dei. Whatever he was doing with his soul, internalizing his energy like he was, was sparking this entire conversation because it felt like he was starting to touch upon the Dao – correction, his own Dao. “A Dao is a path, like I said earlier, but slightly different than the domain of a deity. Domains are divine, touching upon those higher realms of understanding and consciousness; a Dao doesn’t necessarily have to be. It is intricately linked to understanding the world around you of course, as well as knowledge of the self, but that doesn’t make it divine. It can become divine, but isn’t inherently.
“But they both function the same. Both divinity and the Dao are a way for a soul to bring forth changes into the universe; but what the Dao, the path, itself is, is unimportant. Be it an artist, or metal, or balance, what our souls have chosen to focus on is but a vessel, a ‘focus,’ if you will, to guide our intent into creating changes.” I explained, extending my hand outward. My entire being was not “Balance.” I was more than that. However, when I focused my power into creating a sun, I utilized my understanding of balance to invoke changes. Light swirled in the palm of my hand, exploding into a miniaturized sun the size of my head.
Just like when Dei had leapt over the chasm, his soul had pushed intent down in the chasm to create a gust of wind to give him the needed boost to make it across. This was no different fundamentally, just…more. A deeper understanding. The nuclear fission happening within the sun, atoms spitting and combining at massive rates in a furious balance of chaos and creation. Metal and fire.
“Hold this,” I said, turning and handing the sun to Argent and Vesuvius, the god of fire who had been standing close to him. Argent panicked for a moment as the sun came to rest in the palms of his hands, his metallic skin heating up, threatening to turn cherry-red. “Fire does not destroy metal. It only allows it to change,” I advised, turning away and scrawling the entire process in the air, next to all the other words I had written. A picture of a sun along with the inner-workings of it appeared beside it all, making me frown as I stared at it.
“Just as we are two sides of the same coin,” Elvira said, standing beside Keilan. They were flanked by Sol and Gilles, respectively, and were all listening with interest. Once again I marveled at the number of beings who kept appearing the longer I talked, but I was on a roll now. There was something so simple, so stupidly blatant I was missing…
“There’s one thing I don’t understand,” the angel Fu Hao said, appearing beside Stilicho.
“Yes?” I asked.
“You mentioned the Dao and mortals, and implied there was something to do with guidance there. It is a path, is it not? Do You not make the paths?” she asked. I hummed and closed my eyes for a brief moment.
“How do mortals know what path to take?” Stilicho added, and suddenly it hit me.
“Oh,” I said, eyes opening and smiling. How could I have been so stupid? It went right back to my initial few questions – what was a Dao? Was a Dao some inherent law of the universe, like karma, sitting out there? If karma was the spiritual law of ‘every action has an equal and opposite reaction,’ then was the Dao something similar? The answer was no. But also yes.
The Heavenly Daos existed because I did, and my children did. There was something out there in the primordial chaos that represented balance, or yin, or yang, or the elements and spirits, but we were what gave it direction and purpose, and developed them into greater, more meaningful things. Without Argent to continuously forge the Dao of Metal, it would remain metal. In many ways the gods defined and directed these…things, giving them wills and a purpose. The Four Realms might even have something akin to a consciousness, but because of who I am and what I do, it could, in many ways, also be considered my own will.
My will is the will of the heavens. Not because we are in agreement, but because they are me. And even now, now that I was paying attention, I could feel all the other little wills across creation connecting to me. Seeking power, passion, guidance, mortals trying to find meaning in their lives…and the Dao was there, waiting for them to set their feet on the path, a path they eventually will take themselves if they so desire it – for not all souls desire to continue walking – and make their own.
Yet I was missing something. Not mentally, but personally. It felt like there was a hole within me, I was just beginning to notice, and could do nothing about yet.
My thoughts continued to spiral from there, descending down, down, then up again as I chattered away, giving voice to my realizations and thoughts, answering questions as they came my way, and writing it all in the air. I wasn’t sure how long I talked, only that when I finally broke out of it and turned around, almost all major beings of the Four Realms sat before me. Karmic kings, high-ranking spirits, the angels Fu Hao and Stilicho, and all the gods lay scattered before me, absorbed in my talk. Only Kei wasn’t paying attention – I could sense her elsewhere in the garden, riding one of my horses.
With a clap of my hands the golden words I had written in the air condensed, collapsing in on themselves to form a black-bound book with golden letters titling it. A Dissertation on the Heavenly Dao, Volume 1. With a wave of my hand it was sent away, a few copies landing in the hands of those gods who wanted it, while I swayed where I stood.
“I am going to need to disappear for a time.” I said softly. Was this the enlightenment so many people loved to talk about? I’d never experienced it to such a degree – it felt like I was about to fall into a deep sleep, without sleeping. Yet I understood why this was the case. In many ways I had still been thinking like an angelic being, not an origin deity. My outlook was changing, and I needed to internalize these changes. It was impossible for me to “take a step back” as I had been thinking, for my very presence influenced the Realms. And everything within had an equal opportunity to connect to my will and power, and seek guidance and aid. “If you need anything just ask. I’ll be there.” I said softly, and my incarnation promptly vanished.
Elsewhere, my true body shifted in its meditations, my mind sinking into the Four Realms to observe, feeling out the budding Will that was forming there. And I saw. And I understood.
And the Shadow stirred.