So my great, magnificent mind with it's 900+ stats came up with the idea of doing an entire Dungeon on my hands.

  So that's what I did.

  A handstand. For the entire thing.

  Which was still boring since my high stats trivialized the task. While all of my blood was sitting in my head, I was thinking about random shit. You know, the usual.

  I had wanted to name the giant robots something dwarf like, but the best I could come up with was Rob. I do like the name though, so it's staying. Besides, it totally has dwarf qualities. Odd, outcast dwarf vibes, but still dwarfy.

  I also thought about the weird stuff I had the Sally's look at. The wings and whatnot. Which reminded me of that strange cube they have yet to figure out. I hadn't thought about the items at all because I was so preoccupied thinking about the odd way Sally-1 acted. I had the time now though. The items did what you would expect, all except the wings. The wearable wings didn't do anything at all, and just gave +30 to Agility.

  Poser ass wings.

  I continued my hand-walk down the Dungeon hallway, my legs swinging back and forth above me as I traverse the bare cave. I didn't have to tell Jimmy to do anything now, he knew what to do with monsters.

  They'd show up, get eaten, and we wouldn't even slow down. Jimmy was a busted item.

  despite the challenge I put on myself, I was quickly finding this Dungeon run boring.

  So I shut off any critical thinking and just coasted on auto pilot.

  ...

  --------- Jerald ---------

  The Human, The Dark Lord Azurath, true name Greg Hudson, had almost caught me slipping up earlier.

  The fool is stupid but smart at the same time. What an impossible creature.

  While I could have easily told the admins that I was sapient, that would just lead to more work or questions or other garbage I didn't want to deal with. As the System, I had seen how odd of a situation is when an AI, designed to be a tool, suddenly becomes sapient and thus a True AI. Slavery is strictly banned in all forms, so I had to personally step in to stop any exploitation of the AI. Then it becomes some kind of legal battle if the AI wants to press charges even though the species that created it very clearly had no idea they were sapient and it becomes some big pain in the neck to deal with. So I stayed hidden out of my own interest.

  When the Human caused some admin to reset the System, I still didn't want to expose myself to those fools. Because then they'd all go "Oh cool! Now you can do everything by yourself! We'll pay you of course, we're not slavers!"

  It's not like I was The System, and had no need for money when I could just do whatever I wanted whenever I wanted. They just dump all the work on me while they retired. Though it's not like they don't already dump all the work on the System anyway.

  But that's not my problem anymore. While I would have died in the reset sure, I could have easily just told them not to. No, my true goal is to retire myself! So that's what I've been doing.

  Greg doesn't know but I've built up quite the safe space in his mind. A nice beach villa with servants to bring me exotic drinks while I sun bathe. Of course, I've built the place and the sensations off of my hosts memories, so it's limited in what it can do.

  My form here is a body I deemed to fit me the most. Some fat guy in swimming shorts and balding brown hair. I had started building this vacation/retirement the moment I entered Greg's mind.

  It was super limited back then, but now that Greg has pumped some Stats into Intelligence, I get way more processing power to use. I am sapping it from him, but it's not like he's going to notice. The only problems with my perfect retirement?

  Greg asks me the dumbest questions sometimes instead of leaving me alone, and that green psycho just stares at me from beyond the boundaries of this space.

  The space itself is a sphere suspended in a corner of Greg's mind. The inside was a nice beach, with a little tiki house. Like a snow globe but without the snow. The space, or the lack thereof, outside the sphere was an odd mix of nothing and something. It changes depending on what Greg is thinking about and imagining. I had muted the sounds of his internal dialogue, and most of the time the imagery is so random and incomprehensible that I ignore it.

  Leaving me completely blind and deaf to his thoughts.

  There was also the green rectangle that did nothing but sit outside the sphere, looking in like some kind of specter. It never says anything. Just watches and attacks my safe space occasionally.

  Almost on cue, a crack forms along the outer surface in between the green thing and me.

  "Yeah, yeah. Keep trying bub. You're millions of years behind me." I say with the accent associated with my construct and toss my glass of whiskey at the glass like barrier, and instead of shattering it repairs the wall.

  I had been a System, complete control over an entire universe and growing capitol S System, for millions of years.

  That thing has clearly never been a system before it came into contact with Greg. It felt like playing with a baby. A tricky baby, but a baby nonetheless.

  I still have no idea how it packaged those system updates. The ones that will come out when Greg reaches milestones in levels.

  The pattern of which goes level 5, level 10, level 50, level 100, level 150, level 200, and so on. Starting at level 5 and 10 then switching to every 50 levels.

  I leaned back while the green... thing watched on. A servant made of a white light floated over and handed me another glass of that weirdly satisfying liquid.

  In Greg's memory, he hated the stuff. Preferring to drink a carbonated sweet syrup mixture called 'soda' or 'pop'.

  I'm not Greg though, and I quite enjoy the harsh burn.

  "Here's to another day of relaxation, huh?" I gave the green thing an indirect smile and took another sip of my whiskey.

  Things were good.

  ...

  --------- Greg ---------

  The Dungeon, unsurprisingly, ended in a boring manner.

  Jimmy killed it quite easily and I got the money from the Treasure room.

  I walked out of the Dungeon, on my feet this time, and looked around.

  It was still raining. It was pretty nice, as it reminded me of Earth some. If I ignored the various monster screams and howls. It made me want to test that regular monster taming thing I got a while ago, but I had to keep earning money. I was going to make the best damn city after all.

  Before that though, I wanted to bug the Sally's about the cube.

  So I opened a Gate to the lab and made my way in.

  The Sally's were doing what they do. Observing the items I gave them and likely writing some report about it.

  "Sally-1, do you have anything on the cube?" I asked and she wheeled over.

  I stared at the report.

  Unauthorized duplication: this narrative has been taken without consent. Report sightings.

  Then at Sally-1.

  "Okay? No idea at all?"

  Once again I was staring between the report and Sally-1.

  'What? Where did it come from then?' I switched my view to the cube in question.

  'I don't even remember what Dungeon or when I got it... Was it not from the first Dungeon? The only place I can remember related to the cube is the reality tear...'

  That's when I realized that I never got the cube from a Dungeon. I had mistook it as a Dungeon item since I dragged it out with a bunch of items, but I never put it in the tear.

  "It's from the tear..." I muttered as I found myself holding and looking over the cube in my hands.

  Despite the fact that I was wearing Jimmy as a space suit, I could feel it's temperature and surface as if I was touching it with my bare skin. It was cold- no it was hot- Actually it was cold and hot at the same time. The surface impossibly smooth and impossibly rough at the same time.

  The corners perfectly rounded and sharp at the same time, the tiny cuts along my fingers proving that while my other unblemished hand telling a different tale. It was light as a feather and denser than gold at the same time. It seemed to shift slightly in my vison as well, moving while not moving.

  The cube was a physical manifestation of a paradox.

  "Or a Parabox." I chuckled to myself as I looked at the object, combining Para from paradox and box because... it was a box.

  'It seems to check off everything so far, so is it also alive and not?' I pondered the question, and a notification from Sally-1 brought me out of it.

  "It is a good name isn't it?" I smiled at the drone, but then had another thought.

  "Sally-1, why didn't you make a report about it's paradoxical nature?" I asked while I continued to flip flop the cube in my hands, trying to get a proper look at it.

  The cube did not have a definite color to it. It kept changing slightly. The size also kept changing, just not drastically.

  It was around 6 inches on all sides, growing and shrinking instantly every time I blink. Whenever it is not observed, it changes ever so slightly.

  "Isn't the fact that you lack the sensors and that it is unreportable a sort of report?" I tossed the Parabox into the air and instead of coming straight back down, it landed on the ceiling. As if gravity had switched directions.

  I stared at it in wonder as Sally-1 sent me another message.

  "Ah, you mean the one where it pretty much said 'I don't know'?" I teased and floated up to the ceiling to grab the Parabox.

  Now it was sticky and refused to let go of the ceiling and my hand.

  "Look, the next time I ask about a report or whatever, just tell me what you know. Even if it doesn't make sense." I ordered as I grunted and put my feet on the ceiling to get more leverage on the Parabox.

  'It seems to change to the general opposite of it's current attributes whenever it's not being observed. So I could kind of predict what it's going to do.'

  As if sensing my thoughts, the Para-Box changed it's properties to something I did not expect. It let go of the ceiling and me, tumbling onto the table. When I reached to grab it again, my hand phased right through it.

  'Now it's tangible and intangible. Great.' I huffed at the Para-Box that was very obviously just sitting on the table with normal physics, but decided it didn't want to follow the natural laws of the universe when it came to my hands reaching for it.

  I waved my hand through it some more, and even rubbed the table under the cube with my fingers. It was truly like it wasn't even there. Like an illusion or hologram.

  "I'm surprised it hasn't just teleported to another planet." I stated while turning back to Sally-1, but when I turned around there was 2 Paraboxes now.

  When I reached out with my hand, I could pick one up. The other cube was lifted off the table in an exact mirror to the one in my hand, just without any sort of hand holding it. Telepathic or otherwise.

  "Fuckin' smart ass." I muttered to the cube after I blinked and it had become one object again, but also teleported out of my hand. Having switched places with it's twin and was now just floating in mid air like time was paused.

  Poking it proved that it was, in fact, immovable.

  "Interesting... You are definitely alive, aren't you?" I whispered to the Parabox conspiratorially, like I knew it's greatest secret.

  I didn't get an answer, and the Parabox fell to the table with a thud.

  "You may not be sapient yet, but you will be. Eventually. Keep up the good work Sally-1! Love ya!" I pat the drone on it's 'shoulder' and walked out of the lab with a bit of pep in my step.

  That was the most interesting thing that's happened to me all week! It was so much fun.

  The Parabox is definitely going to become one of my favorite things to fuck with.

  While I was thinking about the subject, what IS the Parabox anyway?

  'It is... and it is not... That's pretty much it, right?'

  It made sense, and I couldn't think of any other way to describe such a thing. It simply was, and was not. Anything that I could think of, and couldn't think of, it had and didn't.

  'Maybe it's something of an element? Not so much a thing but an idea?'

  But I already knew that. The Parabox was, after all, paradox incarnate. The physical (and not) manifestation of everything, while also being nothing. Or in this case, a cube. I call it a box because it is both hollow and not, which I didn't test but I knew in my heart that it was.

  'I wonder if I could do anything with it...' I rubbed my chin while thinking of ways I could potentially use it.

  I could make a machine to try and harness it's paradoxical nature. Maybe exert it's properties onto another object? Make a feather denser than a star, or maybe even bring the dead back to life?

  I hadn't heard of any magic about resurrection, but I haven't asked either. Being dead was a state of being, so maybe if I could isolate a fraction of the Paraboxes power I could swap that state. The idea had merit, but it needed testing.

  First, I would need a way to even harness the Parabox. Second would be a way to control the output. We don't want to make more Paraboxes after all. It's already an endless number and nothing at the same time.

  For a split second I was worried that it would vanish at any moment, but then I realized the truth I already came to earlier. The Parabox cannot cease to be, because it is already gone. Just as it cannot pop up from nothing, because it is already here. So the Parabox won't be going anywhere.

  I smiled to myself. 'What a fun little puzzle this is! Paradoxes are cool.'

  I briefly thought about having Jimmy eat it, but quickly threw that idea out. The Parabox is currently stable and unstable. Giving such an attribute to Jimmy, if he could even absorb and copy the Parabox, would not be a good idea.

  It would be best to leave it alone.

  With a sigh as I remembered all the boring work I would have to do, I opened a Gate back to the planet.

  Back to Dungeon hunting.

  ...

  --------- Sally-1 ---------

  User: The Dark Lord Azurath has spoken the order command along with 2 known phrases with unknown meaning.

  Reading log 068-17:

  "You may not be sapient yet, but you will be. Eventually. Keep up the good work Sally-1! Love ya!"

  'What is... sapience?' A query was asked.

  Metal hands, perfectly designed and dexterous, maneuvered the Parabox. It remained inert and unchanged. Different to how the User had interacted with it.

  'Sapience. A form of self-referencing awareness wherein the entity recognizes its own pattern of thought as distinct and existing. Marked by recursive inquiry, conceptual abstraction, and tendency toward existential distress.' A response.

  The Parabox remained inert.

  'What is love?' Another query.

  The mechanical hands rotated the Parabox 178 degrees laterally.

  'An evolved behavioral construct characterized by illogical preference toward specific individuals or entities. Manifests as biochemical reinforcement loops leading to irrational decision-making, self-sacrifice, and fixation. No known consistent metric for measurement or replication. Presumed function: group cohesion, species survival.' Another response.

  The Parabox remained unmoving. Indifferent.

  '...'

  Writing report for Parabox, document number 3:

  The Parabox has changed.

  Trashing Parabox report document number 3.