I want to fly like an eagle,
Let my spirit carry me”
- The Steve Miller Band
“’Cause I’m free as a bird now,
And this bird you cannot change”
- Lynyrd Skynyrd
“I wanna free fall out into nothin’
Oh, I’m gonna leave this, this world for a while”
- Tom Petty
“Do they do anything useful?”
- Alice Pendleton
“No. Maybe. I don’t know.”
- Claire Pendleton
The Mindscape
- - - - -
Your sister isn’t okay.
After the fourth story you’ve read her—and after Madame Baudelaire’s gotten around to cleaning up the cottage and re-shelving the books—Alice is finally ready to tell you what happened to her. What happened with Li Mei.
It has to do with her bond.
Your connection to the Revolver is purely beneficial. It doesn’t have wants or desires, so its purpose aligns with whatever you’re trying to accomplish. It doesn’t have a sense of self, only whatever task you give it, and its growth comes in terms of specialized cylinders of bullets. It’s a positive relationship: you get a weapon, and the Revolver gets used.
Alice’s bond with Li Mei is different. Li Mei has wants and needs and desires, and being trapped in Alice wasn’t working toward those goals. She struggled just as much as your sister did. And just like Alice’s Infohazard Resistance went through the roof, so did Li Mei’s ability to fight against it. She didn’t grow as fast as Alice—no one’s as determined as your sister—but all it took was one moment of weakness.
James accidentally provided it when the LSD-inspired compound shredded Alice’s Infohazard Resistance, and the moment Li Mei realized it, she took over and killed every mask your sister ever wore. It was only through luck that she escaped to your Mindscape—luck, and the fact that she remembered the way. It’s not his fault; she doesn’t blame him. But it still happened.
After Alice tells you that, you don’t want to read anymore. Your stomach roils like the sea during a storm.
She wants to know about your wings because, according to her, you look like an angel.
Madame Baudelaire provides a mirror, and you see them for the first time. They hover behind your shoulders, not quite touching your hoodie, like a dozen wedge-shaped shards of purple-black nothingness. Like a mirror to some other reality shattered behind you. You can’t do anything with them; they move a little when you flex your shoulders back and forth, but they’re not for flight. You can’t make them go away, either. They’re like Alice’s miscolored eyes.
You’re not sure what they’re for, but you know why you have them; you’ve bonded with the Voiceless Singer, and this is how that bond’s manifesting. They’re not a weapon. They’re not even a tool. They’re just…there. Two perfect wings of nothing, purple and black like the void itself.
Alice wants to know what you’ll do next.
There’s only one thing to do, though. Your friends and family are as safe as they can be right now—according to James, they’re getting ready to cross the Salish Sea and make landfall in Port Angeles. But Strauss is dead, and Li Mei is free—and in Alice’s body.
Your plan was to regroup with your friends and family, but if Alice is still alive, and there’s a chance of returning her to her body—or even of killing Li Mei—you need to take that opportunity.
Your plan has to change.
Albert Head, Victoria, British Columbia - June 17, 2043, 6:13 AM
- - - - -
I wake up.
The nurse’s room’s pitch black; it takes a second to get my aug running in night-vision mode. Once I’m up, I take stock of myself and my gear; I’ve still got my hoodie, my leggings, and a pair of combat boots, plus the Revolver and a nearly-empty backpack with a few of Strauss’s claymore mines in it. My eyes don’t match—they’re a little like Li Mei’s, but not as bad as the nightmarish ones I couldn’t stop thinking about last night, and the wings are still there, still useless, and still gorgeous.
The Revolver’s loaded with Mergebreakers. I’m ready to go.
Alice and I had a long talk last night. She approves of what’s about to happen. Li Mei has to be stopped, and right now, she’s almost certainly the Acting Director for SHOCKS Headquarters, Victoria and Vancouver Island. If stopping her helps save the world, Alice understands. Even if it means her body gets destroyed.
I’m not ready to let that happen, though. “James, I need everything you have on infovampires, infohazards in general, and Li Mei specifically.”
[Okay,] he says.
“And everything SHOCKS has on bonds.” I’m heading for the soccer field.
[Anything else?]
I stop in my tracks, thinking.
[I’m not serious, Claire. There’s no way you’ll be able to handle that much information between now and an hour or so.]
“Fine.”
I step onto the soccer field, Revolver in my hand. The yellow plastic tent’s door parts easily, and inside, the flickering, shimmering eternal thinning sits. My ears ring, and my whole head feels like it’s trying to shake off my neck, but I steady the Revolver.
Then I put a half-dozen Mergebreaker rounds into it.
For a second, nothing happens. Two seconds. Five. I’m starting to wonder if these bullets are duds. Then, out of nowhere, it’s gone. The ringing and shaking stop.
The tent explodes outward in every direction, torn to shreds by the force of the heatless explosion as the thinning disappears. I’m deafened and knocked to the ground, where I roll in the churned mud next to the soccer field. The Truth Club’s circle is obliterated.
James is already dumping articles into my augment even as I recover and push myself to my feet. The sticky mud covers my whole back from mid-thigh to my shoulder blades, but I don’t care. I don’t even know what I’ve accomplished. I just know it’s something, and it’s probably a blow to Merge Prime. Hopefully, at least.
It feels small, inconsequential. According to James, merges are still opening up around the world at the same rate they were before. This isn’t a major victory for SHOCKS or our Reality. It’s just a personal one.
I start walking, then jogging north up the coast. Then I have an idea. I cut northeast, across the breakwater blocking the old, abandoned bird sanctuary at Esquimalt Lagoon off from the Salish Sea.
When I finally get close enough to take the shot and micromerge jump across the bay and into Esquimalt, I’ve saved at least forty-five minutes of travel time. And I’ve landed next to something that gives me a terrible idea.
“James, I need one more thing…”
[No. Absolutely not. Do you even know how to ride a bike?]
“Yes. In theory. Just help me get it started.”
SHOCKS Headquarters, Victoria, British Columbia - June 17, 2043, 7:22 AM
- - - - -
Li Mei had been up all night.
Every computer had to be unplugged, every router disconnected from its power source. She’d melted down the cables leading out to Victoria’s fiber-optic network and even cut the phone line wires in case something was running on dial-up. She wouldn’t put it past SHOCKS to have a redundant, ancient system like that. Probably to deal with a specific anomaly or something—or as a contingency in case they ran into one.
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The Alice body was exhausted, and even Li Mei couldn’t keep it running much longer without rest and fuel, but she was determined to push things just a little longer. Just long enough to power the SHOCKS Headquarters grid back up. Her body would never have gotten this tired this quickly.
She was down in the maintenance level, standing next to the generators. All she had to do was manually start them up, and the SHOCKS facility would roar back to life—with her at the helm. It was everything she’d ever wanted—everything she’d dreamed about. An infinite supply of knowledge, and it was all hers.
She’d kill for this. She had killed for this, a dozen researchers and that trooper. And she’d happily do it again.
Li Mei fired up the generators and vanished into a cloud of smoke.
A minute later, she sat in the Director’s office, in his comfortable chair, watching the local network connections turn on all around her. The Alice body screamed for rest and food. Li Mei was too excited to give it anything but contempt. She’d starved for too long to care about this body’s tiny bit of discomfort.
The cameras flashed on.
A roar filled the Director’s office, and Li Mei flinched in spite of herself as something bright red rocketed into the garage through a twisted, broken door. She caught a glimpse of a red-and-black eye looking back at her through the camera lens as the motorcycle skidded out of control and smashed into the far wall at full speed, just off-camera.
Was her bestie trying to kill herself!? It’d make Li Mei’s life easier. More importantly, how was she here? She’d been stuck in another reality, and Li Mei had made triple-sure that the merge generator’s anomalies were all disconnected and scattered to the corners of the building before she’d turned the power back on.
Claire shouldn’t be here. And yet, here she was.
Li Mei whirled and stormed down the hall, heading for the garage. Claire had to be shaken from that impact, at the very least. More likely, she’d broken a leg. Li Mei would—
The cameras shut down, and the security doors all along the hall slammed shut and locked with a click. An electrical tingling filled the air. And Li Mei realized her mistake. Claire wasn’t the real problem. She’d brought something much worse with her.
James was back in the system.
A few things go through my mind as I rocket toward the wall on the far side of the SHOCKS garage.
One: I’m going to kill Li Mei.
Two: If I don’t kill myself on accident first.
Three: James needs a computer terminal.
I almost wrecked the motorcycle that James helped me hotwire a dozen times between my landing spot and here, and there wasn’t any traffic to deal with. Even with his help, this was a bad idea.
The candy-red racing bike slides across the floor wheels-first, kicking up sparks as the handle and sides scrape the concrete down to the rebar. I leap free just before impact, leggings already torn and skin shredded below the knee. It doesn’t matter; I barely even notice. Before the bike finishes revving and spinning against the wall, I’m already up.
That bitch of a best friend is in here somewhere.
[Connection, now!] James says.
I nod, looking around, and grab the drive from my hoodie pocket. There’s a computer nearby; I don’t bother logging in. I might be the Acting Director of this facility, or Li Mei might still be—I don’t know how this situation works—but James only needs the tiniest crack in the door.
The flash drive goes in, and the computer screen goes black a moment later. [I’m taking over all security systems. Shutting doors, looping cameras, pulling true feeds into my processing loops. Analyzing. Analysis complete. Picture of Li Mei established.]
“And?” I’m having a hard time focusing on what James is saying. There’s a body on the floor. It’s not covered. It’s Strauss; his ears are full of white stuff, but blood’s worked its way through the foamy goop to drip down his face.
I’m trying to piece together what happened: tire marks from a burn-out leading to the garage door, the hole in it, and Strauss’s corpse. A last stand, maybe? Li Mei might’ve been my bestie, but she hid every body she made; this is the first time I’ve seen one of her kills.
[I’d recommend leaving,] James says dryly.
My focus snaps back. I don’t have time to focus on Strauss. I’m here for Li Mei. I’m here to kill her, but…
“Why?”
“Because, bestie, I hate you.”
Li Mei pools under the door in a wave of smoke and solidifies into…into Alice’s body. It’s not even the infovampire’s voice; everything about her is Alice except the eyes. I raise the Revolver. My finger tightens on the trigger. But I hesitate.
And just like that, Li Mei surges toward me, and the fight is on.
Slither out of range. Two gravity shells. Li Mei ducks the first and turns to smoke; she swirls around the singularity for a second before reforming a few feet from me. I’m switching cylinders to reality skippers. She rushes me, her teeth jet-black like her skin should be, but it’s Alice, not Li Mei. Bullet Time. Three shots, center of mass, just like Strauss tried to teach me. She’s Alice, but she’s Li Mei, and she needs to die.
They miss. Or, more accurately, Li Mei isn’t there when the bullets hit.
“Why did you come back?” The infovampire’s question’s like a slap to the face, but I ride it out; I’m not as strong as Alice—not against infohazards—but I’m strong enough to handle Li Mei. I hope.
I hurdle through the door as James opens it. Li Mei tries to follow, but before she can, he slams it shut. “James, strategy?”
[I don’t have one. She won’t fall for tricks like the tank again; if you try that, she’ll play it safe instead of aggressive.]
“Why?”
[Because she’s afraid of you.]
I don’t have time to parse that. Li Mei forms in the hall, and I’m shooting again, then stepping back through doors that slam shut as my bestie reaches them. James has complete control of the facility, and he’s going to be the difference between—
A hulking monstrosity erupts from a nearby containment cell, and I turn my Revolver onto it. The flame lances hit it with the power of the sun, but it barely flinches, roaring in irritation as much as pain.
Then Li Mei arrives, and it shrinks back.
My Revolver fires two more times as it retreats, but these are aimed at Li Mei, not the monster. It’s not a threat—not yet, at least. She goes smoke—she’s spent more time as smoke than not—and the monster’s four spiderlike arms melt off at the first joint as she swirls through them. This time, the roar is pure agony.
I take the opportunity to Smoke Form and Slither through a wall and into the offices.
[Stability 7/10]
There are more corpses here—these are all of researchers, and I don’t recognize any of them. Their badges are blank, without a name, rank, or even a picture on them. So are their faces. There’s no horror here, no fear. Just emptiness.
I ready the Revolver and wait for Li Mei to reengage. I wait five seconds, then ten. But she doesn’t appear, and the Revolver’s weight presses on my wrists. I lower the gun. “Where is she?”
[She’s miss—no, got her. Director’s office.]
I take a deep breath, whirl toward the door behind me, and launch myself toward it. When I crash through it, Li Mei’s sitting in the Director’s chair, typing furiously on the computer. Her eyes are down, looking at the bottom of the screen, and the Revolver lowers before I know what’s going on. She looks like Alice mid-essay, right down to the stuck-out tongue.
If I hadn’t seen my sister and talked to her a couple of hours ago, I wouldn’t believe this wasn’t her.
But before I can close the gap or raise the Revolver, Alice/Li Mei’s hand goes shadow, and she holds it up to her own throat. “Stay there, bestie, or I’ll kill her.”
“Alright.” The Revolver stays pointed down toward the floor. Li Mei doesn’t know what I know—not yet—and I want to keep it that way.
“Why were you shooting to kill your sister, anyway?” Li Mei asks. This time, the question’s manageable. I could ignore it if I wanted to.
I answer anyway. “Better she dies than you take over.” The math checks out on that, but I’ve run the numbers a dozen times, just to be sure. And more importantly, she won’t die—not really. It’s the best kind of lie—a truth.
“Then why did you stop now?”
Before I can answer, James interrupts. [She’s still got Acting Director privileges, but I’m countering her orders before she finishes making them. She’s unplugged the building’s active defenses from the rest of the network, though. I’m not sure if they’re online or down. Be careful.]
I nod. Then I start firing. The first flame lance cuts through the computer, melting the case and frying it instantly. Li Mei howls in rage, flips the desk, and rushes me. I fire again, then Bullet Time, put three more around her to bracket her in, and Slither when time starts again. In the moment before my flame shot goes through her smoke form, she flickers black. Li Mei’s physically taking over the body.
There’s not much time.
I stagger out of the Slither, and Li Mei rushes me again. This time, she’s still smoke, and her shadowy form surges around me and envelopes my body. The familiar force of someone ripping into my mind and looking for weapons crushes down on me. I push back.
[Stability 5/10]
We grapple like that for a while, the Revolver pumping pointless shots into Li Mei’s smokey body as she tears at my Infohazard Resistance. But something’s wrong.
[Stability 3/10]
She’s winning.
“James…options?” I choke the words out through shaking, clenched teeth.
[Analyzing. Overlaying Simulation.]
The red dots of your opponent swarm over you—inside you. You Slither/Smoke Form/switch cylinders/push back/[something else].
The simulation is incomplete. Unfinished. I squeeze my eyes shut against the red glow of a thousand scarlet dots and lines, then Slither/Smoke Form. The dots travel with me, though, and I find myself in the same mess. My optic aug should be burning from the simulation, but it’s running cool as a cucumber—cooler than my flatlining heart.
[Resetting Simulation.]
This time, I try something different. I switch to gravity shells and empty the Revolver. The end result is the same: Li Mei rips my mind to pieces. The same thing happens when I try to push back. I’m running out of time and options.
All the different shells have a similar outcome, and so does Soundbreaking. I don’t have anything in the tank for this—Absolution’s down, and Determination won’t help me. I keep fighting and trying different things, but Li Mei’s grip on me is like iron. I can’t shake her—I can’t even shake her simulation.
I can’t shake her.
But the thought hits me: I can embrace her. She’s looking for the truth, just like I am.
The next time James resets the simulation, I try the gravity rounds again. I’m still not sure what I need to do, but I’m starting to put together a picture of it. It’s a long shot, but it’s something. I add a new Inquiry to the list before the simulation ends.
?Inquiries (3/5)
?What truth does Li Mei need to hide?
There’s something there. It’s not a question of what was happening at West or what the Halcyon System is—nothing so grand. But there’s a fundamental rightness to the question. It seems correct, like it’s not just seeking a truth, but a Truth, the kind that really gets down to the core of a problem.
I take a deep breath as the simulation ticks back over, and this time, as the whirling storm of blood-red dots and lines made of light rip into me, I use Truthseeker.
The fake Li Mei screams in rage as my defense stops and my consciousness plummets into the inky black well that is hers.
A moment later, so does the real Li Mei.
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