The only part of social studies I understood was learning about the Black Death.
There was something final about it. Something truthful. The percentages, the math, what that math meant for Europe. It was horrific, but it was honest.
I was fascinated by the art, too. The macabre Deaths dancing with everyone who was alive but in fear. In other words, everyone. It had that same sense of finality to it. Of truth.
Later, we learned about World War II and what the Americans built to end the war in the Pacific. After we did, I couldn’t help but hear Oppenheimer’s quote from the Bhagavad Gita everywhere.
“I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds.”
That was a weird couple of weeks.
SHOCKS Headquarters, Victoria, British Columbia - June 17, 2043, 7:41 AM
- - - - -
I am become Death.
In the end, I don’t have to find a box for her. It’s already been built—but I don’t think the creatures living there will be happy to see her.
The Mergebreaker bullets rip into the shadowsmoke Alice body. They slice through the black smog and head for the tiniest point of the merge that’s tying Li Mei to this reality. I can only see it because I am become Death. She’s never had to hide it, and now it’s too late.
Li Mei screams. Alice screams, too, as her body goes solid and collapses next to the shell-less bomb. She’s bleeding, but I keep the Revolver trained on her as I creep forward. She’ll either be fine or she won’t.
They’re both screaming. Not as one, but separately.
The thinning in Li Mei’s core collapses. Then it explodes out, throwing the bomb off its frame and ripping wires out of it. The control panel goes black. The detonation throws me through the door and into the hall. My aug flickers and pops, and wave after wave of vertigo passes and near-instantly disappears, only to be replaced by more.
I’m screaming, too, and waiting for the nuke to go off.
Then, after a moment, I realize I’m screaming alone, and the bomb’s not exploding.
Li Mei is gone. I’m a destroying angel, Vishnu, a Voiceless Singer. Whether she’s dead or not, she won’t be back. The thinning’s closed. She’s back where she belongs. I’ve won.
The bomb’s on the ground in between Alice and me. It’s not counting down; in fact, it’s in pieces; it wasn’t built to be tough. Not like…
My wings open behind me, casting a purple-black void light across the room. And there, on the ground, I see Alice’s body.
It’s got bullet holes. Three of them, through her stomach. She’s bleeding—a lot. I try to slow it down with a hand, but the pressure does nothing. Alice’s body needs more help than I can give her, and now that I’ve forced Li Mei out, the rest of it’s just getting Alice back in. I can’t give up on that now; I’ve already done the hard part.
My hand’s slick with blood. I pick up the Revolver, heart thudding in my temples and drowning out the rest of everything. Now that Li Mei’s dead, it’s only a matter of time before the other anomalies that are still in SHOCKS custody get bold.
I have to move fast.
The first thing is starting the generators. I leave Alice’s body where it is. The plan I have in mind needs power more than it needs me to watch over her. The generator room’s almost silent as one after another, the machines stop idling and go into a fully powered-down state. I fiddle with the controls until the first one starts humming again. “James, you there?”
[Yes. I’m re-watching your fight through your aug’s record. Well—]
“Later. I need you to fire up the rest of the generators right now. All of them. I’m moving Alice to the Experimental Sector.”
Now that the power’s coming back online, I’ve got options.
Both solutions to this math problem are to not solve it. I hate that failing to solve is a viable solution—that in itself makes it not appealing. But if I can move Alice’s body to another reality where her injuries won’t be so lethal, I can get her back inside herself. If I can get her to somewhere that’ll heal her, that’d be even better, but I’ll settle for buying time right now.
The other solution is…better and worse.
It’s also a lot easier to figure out, since I don’t know if I can take another body with me unless I have the merge generator. But if the tank SHOCKS stored James’s body in is still intact, I can use that. It’ll keep Alice’s body alive until I can get some experts here to help her back into it.
The problem is that I know what that did to James. And I don’t know if I have the leverage to make SHOCKS fix Alice before her body atrophies to nothing and she’s nothing but a permanently eight-year-old girl in my head—or worse, a digital construct like James. He’s happy, but he’s also the Halcyon System in almost its entirety.
Alice wouldn’t be either of those things.
So.
I pick up Alice’s body. It’s still bleeding, but I ignore the wet that’s soaking my hoodie and running down my back. “James, let me know if anything’s between me and the Experimental Sector. If you can figure out how to get the auto defenses going, do that. Otherwise, close doors to keep them away from me.”
[Got it. Are you going to…?] he trails off.
“Yes.”
[I wish you wouldn’t,] he mutters, but he doesn’t try to stop me. I can tell he’s not happy about firing up the tank he spent most of his life inside, but I need it running, and if he’s not going to stop me, he might as well be helpful.
The monsters aren’t out quite yet.
I have to fire a few warning shots to keep a couple of anomalies back as I move through the Xuduo-Danger wing and toward the airlock to the Experimental Sector, but nothing’s willing to be aggressive with the Alice body nearby. It’s only a matter of time until one of them realizes that Li Mei’s not inside it anymore, though, and when they do, they’ll come searching for me.
I can probably handle them. I am become Death—when I need to be. But I’d rather not. There’s so much to do.
The airlock seals behind me, and I have to step gingerly through all the gore.
Lambda-Five looks like they’ve exploded. I can’t even find enough to figure out who’s who; something ripped through them and showed absolutely no mercy, and I know exactly who it was.
Wherever I sent Li Mei, I hope she’s suffering. She was never my best friend. Best friends don’t treat people like this.
I’ll deal with the bodies when I can. Right now, I need to take care of Alice. The merge generator’s in pieces; Doctor Twitchy’s masterpiece will never work again. Li Mei destroyed both anomalies just like she did Lambda-Five. They’re in tatters or shattered, and every computer in the room’s nothing more than a brick—a gigantic paperweight.
That leaves me with one option.
I pass the wrecked portal, not stepping through it in case stuff’s still active but out of control. The tank’s still there, just beyond it, but it’s covered in dust. It’s only been a week. It shouldn’t be dusty—and yet it is. “James, what’s making the tank work?” I ask, suspicious.
[It’s an anomaly all its own—something SHOCKS built, though. A lot like the merge generator, but with a lot more intent to control both it and me. It was originally a sensory deprivation pod before all the ‘upgrades.’]
“Like, for relaxing?” The pod opens. James is getting it running, and the smell of salt water pushes back the stink of death that fills the Experimental Sector.
[Yes.] James says. He doesn’t say anything else. I decide to let it drop. Some Truths aren’t for knowing.
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The tank beeps as I strip Alice down and jam her body into one of James’s wetsuits. Unlike his body, hers fills it out and then some; I’m a little worried about cutting off her circulation, but not as worried as I am about hesitating and watching her die. The clear cap fits over her head, and the breathing mask slips over her mouth.
[I’m booting up the activation protocols. She’ll be locked in until someone opens it from the outside, but Claire, I’m not sure she’s in there.] James means he’s not sure Alice is in her body.
That’s a sticking point. I can’t trust James, because I can’t trust the Halcyon System. But I also can’t not explain it to him.
Can I?
“James, I can’t explain why I know this will work, but I promise it will. Trust me.”
He stays quiet as the tank starts to close. I remember James’s emaciated, wrinkly body when I opened the tank a couple of weeks ago. It was only a couple of weeks ago? So much has happened. The pale, thin body—nothing like Alice’s athletic, tan one. Even here, she’s managed to keep up with her exercising, and even though I’m sure I look like death warmed over, she’s got a little of her glow even though she’s bleeding out slowly.
The tank seals shut with a hissing sound.
The Joint Anomalous System doesn’t start up with Alice in control. The tank’s screen goes dark, but the water’s bubbling and gurgling through the pipes. I say a quiet, targetless prayer of thanks that Li Mei didn’t destroy the tank when she took over, and that SHOCKS left it alone when they built the merge generator. Without it, I don’t know what I’d have done with Alice.
“That’ll keep her safe, right?”
[I’m working on activating the autonomous defenses for SHOCKS Headquarters, prioritizing defending the generator room and JAMES Experimental Sector,] James says. [I’ll let you know if anything threatens either of them. In the meantime, you have something else to do here, don’t you?]
James is right. I don’t want to deal with the rest of it, though. I want to sit here and watch over my stupid, perfect, helpless sister—even though this isn’t here, even though this is just a body and she left it behind. The rest of it can burn for all I care.
But…
I pull up my stats in the System.
[System Access: 100%]
[Recalculating Skills, Knowledges, Bonds, and Inquiries. Adjusting Stability]
[Claire Pendleton]
?Stability 1/10
?Skills - Endurance 8, Urban Combat 4, Anomalous Computing Systems 4, Physical Anomaly Resistance 12, Open Mind 1, Revolver Mastery 22, Compulsion Resistance 2, SHOCKS Database 1, Mental Fortitude 2, Gravity Shells, Reality Anchoring 3, First Aid 2, Toxin Resistance 6, Reality Skipper Shells, Bullet Time, Slither, Smoke Form, Analyze, Mergewalk 2, Mindscape, Soundbreak, Determination, Absolution 2, Truthseeker
?Truths - Anomalous Bond, West End High, SHOCKS Research Facility, JAMES, Stag Lord, Halcyon Bond, Li Mei and Infovampires, Dr. Dwyer, Provisional Reality AAA, Mergekilling, Part of the Ship, Guardian Angel, Void Bond
?Inquiries (4/5)
?What’s going on at Albert Head and West End High?
?Why don’t people come back from other realities?
?What truth does Li Mei need to hide?
?
?
My skills haven’t changed much in spite of everything that’s happened. What does that mean within the system? Am I reaching a plateau? I’m still getting new Truths from my Inquiries, but the Skills themselves aren’t increasing like they used to, and if I am plateauing, that could be a problem.
[Claire, focus on what you have to do.]
I shake a little, trying to do what James says, but focus isn’t easy right now, and it takes a minute before I’m ready to start the next task.
“I’m Acting Director Claire Pendleton, A-Level clearance, and I’m taking control of the SHOCKS Headquarters Building for Victoria and Vancouver Island,” I say. It’s a dumb bit of formality, but it also feels right. “James, give me everything Doctor Paul Ramirez discovered on traveling to other worlds, everything on why SHOCKS cared about West End High, and everything on Merge Prime.”
[Got it, Acting Director,] James says. [As a warning, this information consists of several hundred gigabytes of text, video, and image files, as well as multiple anomalies designed to remove brain function in any non-cleared human who attempts to view certain files.]
“Let’s start with the safe ones. Can you clean up the others while I’m reading?” I head for the JAMES Experimental Sector’s airlock. As I walk, the autoturret over James’s—Alice’s—tank swivels to life. It aims for the door but doesn’t fire. On the way to the airlock, I find a few glimmering bits of metal with numbers and names on them: L5-1: ‘Connor O’Neill’ and so on. They go into my hoodie pocket, clinking against the Revolver cylinders. SHOCKS will want to know. They’ll want proof—and closure.
[Already working on it. Most of the security isn’t built to stop someone like me, and what is isn’t built for someone like me, specifically. It helps that I designed half of them, or at least helped with the designs.]
He’s talking to talk. I ignore him. Instead, I pull up the West End file.
Auxiliary Research Site Forty-Five Intelligence Briefing, June 03, 2043, 10:32 PM
[Anomaly] Event - 0-G-4/U1, Merge Prime
[Status] Uncontained
[Type] Ongoing
[Danger] Qishi
[Containment] None
Update:
We’re looking into possible connections between R-389 and the reality merges we’ve seen over the last ten days or so. Right now, the prevailing theory is that R-389 merged first due to its unreality levels being extreme in comparison to R-0, but that doesn’t make sense. Additionally, Director Ramirez says he doesn’t see a way for his project to open a merge to R-389. He is also unable to open merges to several other realities, including R-091.
The fact that his merge generator cannot access merges directly related to Claire Pendleton’s past is concerning. I believe—
I close that document and skip to another. There’s no way this is the truth. Director Ramirez threw me into the events of the night Mom died—the night this bullshit all started. How could he not be able to access my past? And why my past?
The documents scroll by; before long, I’m skipping the briefings in the beginning and shuffling through them, trying to find what I’m after. SHOCKS hasn’t been telling me everything. “James, did you know about all of this?”
[I know about everything SHOCKS has on their computers,] he answers promptly. [I’ve been approaching this information from the perspective of the Halcyon System, and in that regard, there are several curiosities I’ve been unable to explain. One of them is the connection to your past, but that’s felt very trivial in relation to the many crises you’ve been handling.]
“James, have you been keeping secrets?” I ask, pulling the nametag from a mulched researcher’s jacket.
[Clarice Alora Pendleton, I’m always keeping secrets. Always. I told you a long time ago that I would lie to you.] James sounds almost sad about it. [I have several different loyalties. From the perspective of the Halcyon System, you’re the most useful tool in its kit right now. From SHOCKS’s point of view, you’re a dangerous opportunity to fight back. And to me, as myself, you’re my best friend and I love you like a little sister.]
“Hey! I’m older than you, sort of,” I say, half-smiling despite the mess Li Mei’s made of the researchers and anomalies that didn’t flee. He’s telling the truth about all of this.
[Sure. The point is that none of those points of view benefited from overwhelming you with information.]
I let that hang, reading a file on possible weaponization of the merge generator as I head for the garage. I’m halfway through when something jumps out at me. “James, this file’s not labeled with the SHOCKS headers. And it’s photos, not a text file.”
[No. This is a series of screenshots from Director Ramirez’s optic augment. I think he’s onto something, though.]
Experiment Notes: Merge Generator Late-Stage Tests
First experimental transport of personnel and material together across merge generator field and back: Successful
Angles: Focus on moving weapons and securing flexible beachheads; look into cross-reality SHOCKS facilities; Focus on data-gathering; Improve safety for merge-walk personnel; Study how Clarice Alora Pendleton travels to cover point of failure w/ redundancy
Note: What if we sent a nuke across instead of an RST?
Possible Risks to Note: SHOCKS protocol is to leave realities uncontaminated; Possible pushback from some realities if they can re-merge w/ R-0; Risk of losing Clarice Alora Pendleton (single point of failure, no redundancy)
Addendum - June 16: Risk of direct entry into other merged realities is too high. Current belief is that benefits of clearing potential merges of threats before they merge outweigh risks.
Doctor Twitchy wants to go to war.
Is he right?
Most of the realities I’ve visited can’t stop something like a nuclear bomb—not unless the reality levels and laws of physics are messed up to the point where the bomb won’t go off. Creating a buffer zone around thinnings before they pop could prevent merges from taking R-0 and SHOCKS by surprise. There’s something to that for sure.
If they’d nuked R-389 before it merged at the soccer field, or R-091 before it killed Mom, the world would be a very different—and probably better—place for me.
But it’s a lot to think about, and Director Ramirez wasn’t all there after Lieutenant Rodriguez got…stretched…by the reality levels in Provisional Reality ARC. The math doesn’t work out correctly.
The possibility of fallout coming through the merge on top of the merge itself…or monsters mutating like in the movies? None of that’s here.
“James, does Director Ramirez still have access to these notes?” I ask.
[That doesn’t matter.]
He’s right. Whether Doctor Twitchy has the notes or not, he has the idea. If he reaches another SHOCKS Headquarters, he’ll try to spread that idea like a memetic anomaly. If it gets widespread enough…
Someone will try it.
It’ll probably work the first time. But eventually, it won’t. It’ll backfire and make this whole situation even worse.
“Get me a route to the cruise ship pier where they’re at.”
[They left over an hour ago. They’re halfway across the Salish Sea by now,] James says. [I can get you a route to the nearest boat, though.]
“That’ll work. Let’s go.”
I have about as much experience sailing a sailboat as I do riding a motorcycle, and there’s a storm coming in. This boat’s old and creaky, and James is pretty sure it’s going to sink before it makes it across the ocean.
That doesn’t matter—I have an escape line in Mergewalk if I need it, and if I get close enough to shore, I can micromerge with the reality skippers. I don’t have to solve every variable. Just enough of them. More importantly, I have a job to do.
I need to catch up with the SHOCKS survivors, my dad, and Sora. And most importantly, with Director Ramirez. They found a few boats or something—maybe signaled across the sea for them. According to James, they’re making landfall now. I’m glad Sora and the Itos and Dad are safe.
But I still need to find Director Ramirez.
He’s got the right idea. We need to stop the merges. But nuclear warfare isn’t a solution. Reality Zero needs something more precise. An angel of death aimed at the source. Once I find that source, I can be that angel; I’ve even got the wings for it now.
The truth is that I am become Death, but I won’t let Director Ramirez become the destroyer of worlds.
Especially not our own.
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