“What is wrong with you?”
“Nothing”
“Really, Then why you are like this”
“Like what?”
“You want me to spell it out for you?
“Just feeling heavy”
“That's what I asked you idiot”
“Hey don't create a big deal about it, you would never understand me”
“Here you go again, aren't you tired of this shit”
“What? Do you think I love being like this?”
“I think so, Look at you”
“You are always an expert aren't you?”
“Did you fall for her again?”
“Hmm….Don't know”
“Fuck! I already told you to keep the distance, why the hell are you doing it again and again”
“It is not my fault okay; I just can't help it, just look at her”
“Beauty doesn't mean everything. I thought you knew that”
“I know that, and it isn't about beauty”
“She is nice to you.. So what?”
“I don't know”
“Seriously? You don't know? Is that your answer”
“I am not like you. You always think before taking decision. All the rational and logical calculations you do
won't work with me every time”
“But that's how a decision should be taken, right?”
“It can't be like that always, not everyone likes reality. Some people just want to escape from it because most
of us are not doing things that we love. We do it because we want to survive. We are searching for
something outside which can bring happiness, Like love, to distract us from the miserable shit we are doing.
A man always needs a goal. If he can't think of anything society sets a goal and you know what it is?”
“Yeah the most common one, get married have kids build a house and die”
“See, you are getting me”
“I am not getting you, it is what it is. I mean one can't escape from the reality forever, Besides Most of us
live like this and it is not that bad, is it?”
“If you are saying that is not bad then what's wrong in longing for the person you love, tell me Mr. Rational”
“Don't bring this society crap inside, it is not about you or me it is about him, Why do you don't get that”
“I know what I am doing okay”
“No you don't, I told you many times not to get attached quickly”
“Aah, the advisor, Okay let me tell you this, he thinks he can't get her because he is a coward and why is
that, because you are messed up, he didn't have the courage because of you”
“Unlike you I care for him, I don't want him to get hurt again and again, Tell me does it makes you happy?
No it just brings more pain. Which is more painful? Talking with her without telling how you feel about her
or telling her how you feel and getting to know she can't be yours”
“The later, At least we can get a closure”
“Do you have the strength to digest the closure?”
“Does any other option there Mr. Rational”
“Yeah just fade away, let it go and move on”
“Move on, that just easy to say but it is hard to swallow and you know that”
“I know”
“You always been an optimistic why are you so negative about this”
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“I just want to do the right thing”
“What are you hiding just spit it out”
“You really want to know don't you, if someone is nice to you doesn't me you have to love them”
“What the fuck are you talking about?”
“Love that made you blind is what I am talking about; I will tell you what you two refuse to accept. You
think I don't have feelings, whenever he gets hurt you will be broken and I will be shattered but you do the
same thing again and again because you want to be broken, you won't realize I have to carry you both, if
You are broken I can't act straight”
“So you are afraid?”
“No, you are clinging to the possibility that somehow you can get her, you always been selfish, only thinking
about you, everyone should do what you like right. From the start all time he spent with her, all the small
fights they had and all the misunderstandings happened, I was with him too just like you. But you didn't get
it because you are blinded. You missed the Reality. You know what the most painful thing is; the person you
care about so much, the person you are so mad in love with doesn't even give a shit about you. They even
don't know you love them. That's what happening here and you failed to understand it, No, You refuse to
accept it”
“Please stop it”
“Hurts isn't it, but you have to accept, Let me tell something, once I was staring at the full moon in the sky it
was mesmerizing, I raised my hand against it and grabbed by closing my hand for my eyes it seem like the
moon was inside my hand but when I opened and looked it was empty, the moon was still shining in the
empty sky. She is like the moon for him. She is not the one for him no matter how hard he chases. How do I
know this? I am rational.
“But if there is a slight chance that you can get her, you would go for it right”
“I want to be with her more than you can imagine but you can't force love out of someone, honestly these
days people who are deeply madly in love with each other ending up as strangers, what are the odds we got”
“Forgot others, you really don't want to be with her? Really?”
“That….I don't know man”
“See this is how I felt”
“I don't have the privilege you guys have, He can to whatever he wants, and you can get hurt as much you
want but me I am like a sober guy who drives his two drunken friends to home safely, I am not allowed to
drink, I need to take care of you”
“I didn't realize you are going through this much”
“Please don't make him broken again he can't take it anymore. Some fools say to follow you always, but you
know what? You are a stupid, but I can't do anything about it because whatever I do, finally I also end up
following your stupidity”
The Never ending quarrel between his mind and heart continued while he was sitting at the corner seat of the
bus, resting his head on the window trying to get some sleep but tears started rolling down from his closed
eyes.
Thinking of her
