After a fitful night’s sleep, I awoke feeling appropriately uncomfortable. The left side of my face ached, and I was sure my cheek was fractured from the impact of Nova’s fists. I remembered what I’d done to deserve it, and settled back into my bunk.

  I didn’t have much longer before the device strapped to my wrist chimed urgently. It was time to wake up, to get back to work. My special assignment was over; I would have to report back to my supervisor.

  My limbs were heavy. I pulled the blankets over myself, and shut my eyes. Even after my comm beeped again, and a third time, I remained still in my bed. I would stay there until they dragged me out by my ears and flushed me from the airlock.

  “Hey.” Tau’s voice came from just outside the wall of blankets, cutting into my self-pity. “Come on. I’m not letting you do this to yourself.”

  “Go away,” I groaned.

  “If you skip out on work, you’ll be fined,” he reasoned. “I know Harlyle must have hit you hard to get you to rat on Nova. Can you really take another fine right now?”

  I groaned noncommittally. “I don’t care.”

  “Yes, you do. Come on, get dressed, pop a couple friends before your shift.” I felt his sturdy hand on my face before the blanket was torn away. The harsh white light burned my eyes.

  “Why do you care?” I spat as I sat up. The room seemed to continue moving even after my body came to a stop.

  Tau held out two big, blue pills. “Come on, Rook. You made a mistake. This isn’t how you want to go out.”

  I glared at him, then at the drugs, then at nothing in particular before accepting the pills, and swallowing them without further complaint. “Are we working together again?” I asked hollowly.

  “Yeah,” he said. “The work order says you’re apprenticing under me today.”

  I checked my comm to find that the wakeup alert read simply “Tau’s in charge for now. -N” She must have been so upset, she couldn’t face me in person. I pressed against my swollen cheek with my tongue, bringing forth a well-deserved surge of pain.

  “Hey. Hey!” Tau snapped his fingers in front of my face. “Don’t go disassociating on me now.”

  I looked up at him tiredly. “Roger that, boss,” I said, and slid languidly out of bed. I pulled on my coveralls, and lazily stood at attention. “Reporting for duty, sir.”

  “You’d think it’s your first time dealing with harassment,” Tau huffed. “Get a fucking grip, man.”

  “I’m sorry if I’m not performing to your standards!” I snapped. “I’m doing my fucking best!”

  Tau only had to sternly fold his arms to get me to back down.

  “I’m sorry,” I mumbled.

  “We have a job to do,” he said gruffly. “Best we man up and get to it.”

  The work wasn’t substantially more difficult than it had been our first day. There were a number of sections of plasma conduit that were at the end of their lifespan, and our job was to replace them. The task was as simple as shutting off the flow to a section of pipe, cutting out the worn piece, and gluing a new one in place with the aid of a crystal growing tool.

  This story has been stolen from Royal Road. If you read it on Amazon, please report it

  In theory, the advanced technology, the surgical way we operated on the veins of our ship were intriguing, enthralling even. When I tried to think about it, the bruises on my face ached in remembrance.

  Days passed at first, then weeks. Before I knew it, twenty shifts had passed. Though my face no longer felt the aftershocks of Nova’s fists, my thoughts remained heavy with regret. I didn’t let myself talk about it, not even with Artie.

  Tau and I didn’t speak much, but in the quiet we found a rhythm, and the work went quickly. Working mostly in the halls, we were often passed by crewmates, who seldom bothered to say hello. It was a calming sort of assignment, until the job was over, and the last bit of pipe was sealed into place.

  Tau looked to me, golden eyes swelling with emotion that I couldn’t identify. Was he happy to finally be rid of me? Sad the assignment was at an end? Thankful I’d been here to help, or angry that I’d hindered him so?

  I turned my gaze to the floor, ashamed to meet his eyes. “I guess we’re done,” I finally said.

  “Yeah,” he agreed. “Are you still feeling weird?”

  I didn’t answer.

  “Look,” Tau said gently, placing a hand on my shoulder. “I get how much it hurts, getting beat on like that, but you have to let it go.”

  “But it’s my fault,” I protested.

  “You gotta let that go too,” he said. “Sometimes, when people are very stressed out, they drink. And sometimes, when people drink, they vent their frustrations on others. What’s going on with Nova, it’s bigger than you. I promise.”

  I shrugged.

  “No, don’t fucking shrug me off, dick. I’m being serious,” he insisted. “It isn’t your fault, but even if it was, you have to put it behind you, shove it down, smile, and do better next time. She’ll forgive you, I guarantee it.”

  “What kind of advice is that?” I asked bitterly.

  “The good kind,” he assured me. “If you want to survive in this world, you have to learn to shove it down.”

  “But it’s my fault she got in trouble!” I protested. “She’s gonna hate me forever.”

  “Or,” Tau began slowly. “Maybe Harlyle has it out for someone other than you. Maybe, he used you to get at Nova, and she’s more torn up over what happened than you are. Had you considered that?”

  “That’s definitely not true,” I said.

  “Why?” he demanded. As I struggled to find an answer, he continued. “There are a billion and fucking one maybes, but the truth is you’re stuck here, with these people, for the foreseeable future. Shove your self pity, your righteous indignation, your fucking pathetic face down, and walk forwards. That’s the only way out of this shit.”

  I saw the pain on his face, the visceral reality with which he spoke. “What happened to you?” I whispered.

  “Don’t worry about it,” he answered calmly. “Let’s hit the gym before we turn in. Exercise helps me cope.”

  I took a deep breath, and imagined all of my problems bundled into a big ball. I imagined shoving them off into space, imagined them tumbling end over end into the grip of a void star, spinning round and round, stretching into a thin stream of offerings for the angels on the other side. “Alright,” I conceded, though I was starting to feel weary from the strain of repressing so much.

  “Oh hey, you know what I just remembered?” he added. “Before uh... the incident, you were excited about some kind of mystery, right?”

  It felt like so long ago. “Laurie wanted me to read up on some gene marker,” I explained. “Feels pretty stupid now.”

  “It’s probably stupid,” he assured me. “But you’re all about stupid, right?”

  I couldn’t help but smile, for what felt like the first time in ages. “Thanks Tau,” I said, breathing easily at last. “You wouldn’t happen to know anything about XL, would you?”

  Tau’s demeanor turned suddenly grim. “XL, as in Xenolife’s cattle tag? Yeah, I know about it. If you promise it’ll help snap you out of it, I’ll tell you about it.”