‘It’s already been two days’ I contemplate as I lean back on the roof, looking at the stars above. ‘Two days, that I feel this weird sensation in my heart, feeling that If I don’t do anything. I might lose something.’ The night was cool, a pleasant breeze coming from up the hills as I tried my best to make sense of myself.
‘How can such a… Cute? Pretty? hmm. Yes, how can such as pretty girl not find it bizarre how she… how she speaks about that? About human flesh? That’s just bizarre, and she has to sort of candid naivety to her as well, yet she spoke of it like a professional physician or an herbalist explaining each property of his concoctions. I was angry at first, that much was clear: I couldn’t shake the feeling of slicing her head off, of … of killing her. I saw HIS face on her body. I, I think I managed to stop myself only because her voice pierced through my mind…’ I try to not vomit as I remember the atrocities THAT man did, how he reveled in his victim's screams and pain-filled moans. He never really did stop despite how much they begged him, did he? If I have the chance one day, to send him to the ruler of the dead myself. May he never drink from Old Lady Meng’s soup and carry his sins for eternity.’
I sigh, realizing only now how tense I became; in my hand was a thin powder, coming from one of the roof tiles of my grandfather’s house. ‘She was right, despite how much it hurts me to admit it, Wu chang was right about me having issues to tamper myself down. Perhaps I could ask Iulia, after all, she did say that to use her power, to paint, I guess? She has to control and channel her emotions. She did tell me she was ‘proficient’ with anger and fear magic if I remember well. It is about time I face her, and myself. I can’t run away, especially if we are to travel together to the Fan clan’s city.’ I can feel myself trembling as I take a deep breath, doubt filling my mind as I force myself up. Jumping down on the courtyard, I turn around. There was light coming from the window behind me. Iulia was still awake, and probably busy too.
Knocking on her window, I could hear a pin drop inside, before the window itself opened.
< Huan? What are you doing outside at this hour? Can I help you with something, anything?> I could hear the petite woman’s own apprehension in her voice, the way she looked at me, how she didn’t dare to look me in the eyes. ‘She knows, or at least I think she does, what I did back then. How I nearly did something I would regret all my life on the spur of the moment. I have to apologize.’
< Iulia, I am so—>
We look up at each other, realizing what the other is trying to say. I couldn’t help myself, laughing, as I felt a weight being lifted off my shoulders. She was laughing too, bright, warm. Relived.
< Please go first.> She tells me, moving up and sitting on the window sill. < Do you want a chair by the way?> I feel my face heating up, her usual kindness and thoughtfulness is something I thought I had lost, that I couldn’t be worthy of it.
< If it doesn’t strain you, then please.> I nod, before finding myself sat on a comfortable throne-like seat, at eye level with the painter as she giggles.
< I’ve done as you’ve said. Not using any sorcery and painting any spell for two whole days really helped, I’ve forgotten how volatile and agitated rebounds make you. And that’s without mentioning the other, much more apparent changes.> She looks down, ashamed, yet glad as well, her eyes looking back up at me with gentle fondness.
So she is, that much I can see, from the crease of at corner of her lips to the overall tenseness of her smooth, tend—. ‘ Don’t forget why you are here, Huan.’ I dig my nails into my palm as I center myself back.
< Right… I wanted to apologize. For how I behaved back there. You’ve invited me into your home, into your mentor’s home. You’ve shown me around and even offered me a room should I need one. You’ve offered it to me, saying it is part of my heritage, from my mother, your teacher, to me. And yet, I couldn’t control myself when I saw that. That cloning farm, you called it. I, I was about to strike you down, there and then. I’ve seen too many similar things, yet all of them were built on the suffering of innocent people, of people kidnapped from their homes, adults and children alike. Showed into demonic contraptions to harvest them for cruel gains. I nearly ended up in one myself. The only reason I didn’t do it was because of you. Of your voice, pulling me out of my nightmare, protecting me from my inner demons. I have no words to justify it, nor do I ask your forgiveness. You have been nothing but kind and understanding, yet the vision I had back there. It frightens me.> I sat back, looking at her despite how I felt my body trying to shy away from her blue eyes, how unworthy and disgusting I felt when compared to her, to what she did for me, to how she accepted me despite what I did when we first met.
< I kind of expected that. That was why I told you to stay there. Look, I am sorry for what you’ve been through, I can’t even begin to imagine all the things you’ve heard, witnessed, and been subjected to. But, know that whatever I do, cruelty is something I would kill myself before beginning to imagine myself doing. You have no fault in this, Huan. You are hurting, just like I was. And from what I've gathered, you’ve only just set foot out of the place that tormented you. Despite how you present yourself, the image of strength and assurance, of indomitable will and resilience; you are vulnerable and burned out.> The way she spoke, direct yet without judgment, made me feel worse than I expected. Had she screamed, insulted, or berated me, I could have handled it. But this? I felt myself breaking, tears going down my face as I hugged my knees to myself.
< And that’s alright. Anyone who has been through what you have would react just the same, and that’s in the case that they are still alive. That they didn’t off themselves.> She paused, giving me a handkerchief.
< You are one amazing woman, Huan. But, like everyone else. You are a being made of flesh and blood, of emotions and perspective. You can handle a lot of things, that’s for sure. But the strain of doing that only adds up; you need to rest, digest what happened to you, and accept that everything is now in the past, behind you, once you are ready, move on. You are more than a warrior, a survivor, a killer, or whatever the people told you where you were. You are you, Huan of the Lu family: and that’s for you to decide who you are, and what you want to be.> She kept looking at me with that gaze of hers, those non-judgemental eyes. I couldn’t say anything, feeling things inside that were threatening to overwhelm me.
< Can I… Can I hug you? I know that doing so really helps me. So maybe it could help you too? What do you say?> I nod, not even daring to look back. Before I knew it, she had joined me on the throne chair she made, sitting on the armrest as her hands reached around me, pulling me against her, my head on her shoulder as I let myself cry. Letting out everything I held down tight.
< It’s going to be alright. You are safe, and I will see to that myself.> She whispered, rubbing the back of my head as something warm enveloped us.
Iulia’s PoV
Last night was high in emotions. I didn’t expect to hear that Huan tried to kill me. But after she had opened up, I could somewhat understand. She has been hurting, but way more than I had expected. To the point of having emotional flashbacks and hallucinations. That is a sign of an intense Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. It made a sad and dreadful amount of sense if she was taken since she was nine years old. The psyche of a child is already so fragile and sensible without having to go through what she had, I can’t even think how deep and extensive the marks must be in her mind.
I will have to make a few changes to our journey to the east, I still need to see that map the old man promised me. But if I have a way to take a more scenic and peaceful road there, I will. A change in scenery and ambiance would do her a lot of good. Normal people, warmth, and simple and genuine behavior can do a lot of good to the weary and the burned. ‘Heavens knows I need some of that too, maybe we could try some of the local delicacies, music, and poems. From what I heard there are even a few schools of scholarly cultivators that sing and recite verses as they fight, about said fight too. Huan seems to really enjoy practicing with her spear, perhaps I could find a sort of tournament or exposition for her? I will have to ask her though, If that's really something that could help her, and not add unneeded stress on top of what she already has.’
I stay there, laying in bed as I think about the future, about what to do to help both Huan and myself mend our wounds and pains. It was already day, the morning sun had already crested about the horizon and beamed through the wooden plinth of the blinds. I could feel her already stirring in my arms. We had spent the night together, still dressed in yesterday’s clothes as the poor girl had just fallen asleep in her chair last night. When I tried to put her to her own bed, she had attached herself to me like a barnacle to her rock. With no other way out, and not wanting to leave her alone, I brought her to my bed and just slept like that. She somehow even felt that I wasn’t at her side when I got up in the middle of the night to get a cup of water, whining and moving her hands in grasping motions.
‘We will need to speak about that too. I don’t think the way we latched onto each other like we did is particularly good or healthy. The pain and despair might have rushed whatever we have, and I won’t settle for something half-baked like this. For her... and for myself too. We both deserve to take it slow and enjoy every step of the way… Plus, I don’t think she is even aware of… No, that’s rude Iulia, shut up and stop putting value or judging things you don’t know.’ Gnashing my teeth, I feel the vulnerable bad-ass warrior and burned girl stir awake, before freezing still. Probably from feeling my arms wrapped around her, or from how she hugs my hands.
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< Good morning, Huan. Did you sleep well?> All I get in response is a small squeak, as she dives under the blanket.
Chuckling, I pull back the arms she had let go of, sitting up on my side of the bed. < It’s alright. Nothing happened, you fell asleep after you cried your heart out, and I carried you to bed, but because you wouldn’t let go of me, I just stayed with you.> I pat the woman’s head over the blanket, making her jolt a bit, recoiling further in.
< I am going to change in the washroom. Take all the time that you need. We still need to wait for your grandfather to hand me his map before we leave. And by the way, I will make breakfast this morning, hope it will be to your taste. See you later.>
I get up, grabbing a fresh change of clothes and the reduced home in a crystal ball with me.
After showering and changing my set of clothes, I started pulling vegetables from the garden inside the sealed sphere.
< Ah Iulia, there you are. I’ve been meaning to ask a few questions about what I've read in the book you’ve given me. Oh, sorry. I didn’t see you were busy.> Exiting his room was Lu Gui, his eyes wide and heavy bags under them.
< You know that’s unhealthy for someone your age to be missing sleep? Ask away, I can multitask this type of thing easily.> I smile, knives and cutting boards already floating around me as I crack eggs on the oiled-up pan.
< Don’t strain yourself too much though, you’ll need to be ready for the road ahead. It’s quite the journey too.>
< That too. But like I’ve told you before. This was one I nabbed back during the last war on the demonic factions. To say it is precious would be an understatement, and I don't want traces of water and spots of grease ruining the Ink.> He put down a large wooden tube on the dining table where he was sitting, slowly uncorking one side of the old and inconspicuous scroll holder.
Then he pulled a large rolled-up parchment, it had clearly seen better days. Despite it being contained in such a tightly sealed tub, the map had yellowed, turning flaky and friable at the edge from being rolled up and opened countless times. Some spots even had signs of having taken water damage. Yet, despite the 60 years since the war ended according to the man, it still was in rather decent conditions.
< Right, that’s a whole lot of things. So, where are we on this?> He pointed to the map, east of a large mountain range and a massive inlet that created a sort of inland sea.
Purple square: Sects
Red Square: Blood Demon cult
Black square with a 'hat': Affluent city
Anchor: port-town
Cross: Yushan Village
Circled City: Kui city.
< This is Yushan village. To our West are the Siwang Mountain chains. And Kui City Is all the way here, on the other side of the verdant plains. So around 1800 Li.>
< 1800 WHAT?! Wait, Li? What’s a Li?> I nearly dropped my telekinesis when I heard what he said.
< A Li is a unit of measure… Right, If I remember well, Mina told me that 1 Li is half of that one unit measure of yours… Kilometres? So around 900 km. Usually for cultivators, it takes around 9 days of constant Qigong movement for low-level practitioners if they run for 8 hours every day, or half that for the more adept. Otherwise, the journey is about a month-long without pause, twice that if you go at a leisurely pace.> I paled when I heard him. ‘Maybe I won’t need to add any detours if it is that far. But no way in hell I am running 900km, whatever that Qigong thing is.
< That’s far. Why?>
< Why so far? Well, because here is the Fan clan's sphere of influence, and here around them are its allies. He wanted Dan and me to be safe and away, so far away that any armed rogue groups would be watched and arrested by local guards and protectors. Plus, this is Wudang sect territory so despite how much reach and connections Namgoong Meili and her cohort have, they won’t usually dare to mess around here. Despite what happened 9 years ago, this place is rather safe.>
< Right… mind if I create a copy?> The man already started to be melancholic, so I decided to shift the conversation. Setting down the plates on the tables: chopped fresh cucumbers, telemea goat cheese, Slana, and eggs with a side of onions and handmade Pita de ?ara.
< Hey, didn’t you have any questions for me?> I pull him out of his musing just as Huan joins us.
< Yes, right. I wanted to know something, Minadora told me that her painting is grouped into 8 schools, each based on emotions and colors. But from what I’ve read, magic or sigils work on a different basis. Why is that? Is there any Link between the two?> Right, to the point. I take a seat in front of him as Huan sits to my right, taking slices of cucumbers, cheese, and bread to her plate.
< Here, two eggs and one slice of slana for each of us. I put some ginger on them, hope that’s alright with the two of you. As to your question? The thing is that while yes painting and sorcery are closer in nature to the Everflow, there exists a price to pay should your mastery over your own emotions fail.> I point at my still present ears and Large mane of hair, flaring open two eyes I’m keeping close for argument's sake.
< The price is uncontrolled mutation. The Everflow’s energy will adapt your body so It can handle the strain of what one would fail to control, but the price is twofold. One is external, while the other is to your mind. I’ve heard of someone who used to be kind and warm, becoming a cold monster, completely disregarding what he used to hold dear.>
< Oh, so a bit like having inner demons?>
< Maybe, I have no idea what that entails, but if the origin of the change is external, the change itself is purely on the inside. Playing up and down on your own mind and ideas, of your own truth and biases. Whereas magic and sigils don’t. There’s not any price apart from the time and energy spent to learn, and the colors you have to spend. Like that pebble you’ve given me to enchant, you need something to dye the sigil to the school you want. White for evocation, blue for healing, yellow for illusion, green for abjuration, orange for divination, red for enchantment, purple for conjuration, and black for biomancy. That’s about the sole link between sorcery and magic, otherwise, you need to use those base sigils I've written: those, for some reason, are the only way to enact and influence reality, wonder why. Did that help?>
< Kind of, thank you. And thanks for having made breakfast.> He says between two mouthfuls.
< I have a question as well if you don’t mind.> Huan asks, looking at me back with a firm and intense gaze of hers. ‘Glad she managed to gather herself.’ I smile at her, and she does too, still stiff and coy. Yet she reciprocates nonetheless.
< Sure, go ahead; that way you look more radiant today, or at least more serene. It suits you.> Her lips tug upward a bit more, the crease of her eyes deepening before returning.
< It’s… It’s about the other day. About, biomancy. If you could explain it to me. How it work, I know you’ve quickly broached the subject then. But I was in no state to listen. Or care, sorry about—>
< I will stop you there, you’ve already apologized enough last night. Moving on, Biomancy?>
She nods.
< Biomancy is the school pertaining to the use, manipulation, and control of the living and the soul. It is an outlier to the rest because unlike them you need an acute comprehension and knowledge about the body to know what you are doing without risks. As long as Ink is supplied the change will remain as painted, but the moment you stop supplying it is when things go bad. If the muscle you enhanced isn’t correctly attached? It ruptures under its own weight. If the veins and arteries aren't connected to it you can risk anemia, major blockage in the blood flow, or even necrosis. And that’s without accounting for the pain and how bad it feels to have a biomantic spell cast upon you. This is why that place exists, it creates parts in a slow and controlled way. The basic thing to keep in mind is that biomancy is taking control of your own body in a much more aware and direct way, as long as you know what to do, you have all the building blocks to do whatever you want without risk.> Huan was pensive, her gaze going between me and her plate. To the side, Gui was looking at us with a mix of suspicion and amusement.
< So, you could pretty much change everything about yourself? Like yo—>
< Exactly, but we are eating, so let’s keep the conversation clean, or as much as talking about biomancy would allow. Yes, I did tell you that I used to be a boy before, and I've remade my body to how I see myself. This is who I am, and how I will look until I tire of this appearance, maybe I will grow myself taller or larger. But at the moment I like the way that I am.>
We finished breakfast in silence, all of us had plenty to think about already, but that didn’t mean we didn’t enjoy the company.
It was in the afternoon that we decided to leave. Everything was packed in the sealed tree home, the map already copied and the next destination picked.
Waiting outside for Huan and Gui, I pulled out my broom from the tree home, this thing was my latest attempt at making a complex, flight-specific inscription.
The shaft came from the topmost branch of a Whistling Mountain Walnut tree, possessing natural wind abilities and enhanced resilience. The brush was made of Sky Flow Willow, known for its reaction to high winds, generating a protective bubble around them while helping reduce any weight it was bound to. Overall it was a beast made for racing, but also a lighthouse in the dark for any person able to sense energy.
Meanwhile, Gui finally came out of the house with Huan in tow, having pulled a long sword with a wide blade from his reserve. I could feel that there was something going on with it. But it was when it started flying around that I realized why that was. Huan gracefully stepped on the flat of the blade as it lowered to her feet before extending her hand to me.
< That’s really kind of you, but I’ve got my own ride.> With a wink, I sit on the saddle of my broom, letting it float me up before resting my feet on the stirrups.
< Ready to go?> I ask before Gui grabs both me and Huan in his arms.
< Be safe out there you two. Don’t forget to write to me from time to time. Here, Take this Huan, and show It to Yongzheng. He should know what to do then.> Gui, the grizzled old blacksmith was struggling to keep himself steady, pain and sadness clear in his voice.
< You better.>
Red Square: Blood Demon cult
Anchor: port-town
Circled City: Kui city.