I saw it, I swear on me mum’s bones! It was big as a Waymark, and it ate right through me crops!

  [Scout response]

  ’Ey, I saw that! You don’t believe me, do you? Can’t get one past me, I got them good eyes. Why would ah chow down on me entire month’s wages before I even go to market, eh?!

  [Scout response]

  I DON’T CARE IF YER ‘IGHER UPS DENY ITS EXISTENCE, IT ATE ME ENTIRE PARSNIP FIELD!

  […Scout response]

  -Account provided by local agriculturalist to a Dungeon Warden scout called out to respond to a, quote; “Ravin’ great big bugger traipsin’ through the countryside.”

  I rouse myself from my impromptu snooze about half an hour later. I've got ideas to try and theories to test, so let's hit level five while we're at it!

  I keep a low profile on my way through the cavern. Unfortunately, despite being stuffed wall to wall with life, I once again fail to come across any plant monsters. I'd have liked to test the potency of my new and improved Digestive Molecules before arriving at the exit, but I'll have to risk the tunnels as I’d suspected would be the case.

  About to slip out of the little passageway and into the tunnels proper, I catch myself at the last second, pressing tight against the curved wall dug into the side of the rock. My membrane taught, I watch the Blade Scarab passing by below with sharp Mana Receptors.

  Fortunately it hasn't noticed me, its likely progress toward the watering hole uninterrupted. It doesn't look all that big, only about twice my size, and the way the creature is moving- visibly cautious, stopping every few steps to look around the tunnel -makes me think it can't be all that strong. Smelling an opportunity, I creep as far along the ledge as I can, readying myself to pounce.

  If I can flip it onto its back, a possibility if I manage to get at it from the side, I can do some serious damage to its leg sockets and undershell.

  I wait until it's far enough past me that I'm pretty sure it won't be able to use its blades without turning around. I get one chance at a surprise attack, so let's make it a good one. Throwing myself off the ledge, I aim for the stick-like legs towards the rear of its left side.

  Pound!

  My surprise attack slams into the pair of legs on its left side, chitin crunching beneath my tightly packed body. The joints strain, before giving way completely, the insect monster’s startled teakettle shriek echoing off the walls off the once perfectly silent roadway. I wrap a healthy portion of my body around the joints connecting each leg to the beetle's thorax, eating my way into its body through the gaps in the carapace.

  It seems these monsters, or at least this one in particular, weren’t designed to deal with threats from behind, its bladed claws unable to reach me back here. My grip on the damaged appendages remains firm while it flails about in an attempt to turn around; a task made difficult by the fact that it only has one bladed foreclaw on its left side with which to perform said turn. And those blades really aren’t designed to be an effective method of movement all on their lonesome.

  I'm just starting to wonder when things will take an unexpected turn when the monster trembles, and with a rapid jerking motion, attempts to rear back on its hind legs in order to slice at me.

  Only for the legs I'm anchored on to give way at the base where I've been eating into them, sending us both tumbling backwards onto the ground.

  Ahh, yes. At least there's consistency in inconsistency.

  Unsure what to make of this turn of events, I release the scarab and make some space to give it a proper Pounding but my intended strategy is ultimately foiled when it almost immediately rocks to the side and flips itself right way up again using one of the long foreclaws as leverage, seemingly ignoring the fact that it left one of its legs behind as it rises to stand once more.

  Hm. So, the flipping plan's a bust.

  Noted.

  Facing off against the wounded monster, I can see my molecules did a number on it during the brief span of time I was able to maintain contact. The insectoid is favouring its left side heavily, stumbling around in an effort to keep me on its undamaged side while it waves a claw wardingly in my direction.

  Well, I'm never gonna get a better opportunity than this to trial run my new trick!

  Letting it tire itself out a little more, I circle, waiting for the blade to droop.

  There!

  Making an abrupt, fluid change of course and surging forward in a motion that would otherwise be impossible for a creature with a rigid or jointed bodily structure, I dart straight at the scarab, moving at a swift, but not rapid, pace.

  The wounded scarab responds by seizing the chance to charge, its blade cutting through the air in a diagonal slash at my centre mass.

  Sweating bullets, I judge where the blade will fall, then split myself diagonally down the middle and open like a horseshoe, the blade passing harmlessly through the empty space there to glance off the stone floor with a slime bubbling skrang!

  Using my newfound malleability and the extra space I’m provided when the beetle reels back, I latch across its face and underside, using my grip on the base of its foreclaws and front segments of its body to start devouring.

  Unable to replicate its earlier trick due to the loss of its leg, the beetle quickly succumbs to my DM's, antenna-

  ...

  ...actually, I think I'll avoid referring to them like that, for my own sake if nothing else...

  Anyway! Antenna waving erratically, I remove those deadly foreclaws with a few forceful tugs after eating through the tendons there- god, that is so gross when I let myself think about it -after which, the creature is left more or less harmless. Despite being so right in front of the beetle’s mandibles, it can’t take so much as a nibble of me, its physiology lacking the flexibility to do anything unless it can somehow push me close enough to its gross little nippers. I even get a level in Engulf for my efforts! Still, I take no chances, taking it out with only two Pounds to the head once I have it disarmed. Dislegged?

  [Congratulations, you have defeated a Level 1 Blade Scarab]

  [You have received XP]

  So I was right, this thing was only level one. Actively feeling a rising swell of sentimentality, I quash that urge. This is a hard life, being a monster. I need to find a balance between decency and practicality, or it'll swallow me whole.

  Literally.

  Dragging the corpse back up into the little tunnel is even harder than the fight itself was, but I'm pleased to discover I'm actually capable of the feat. I haven't exactly done any weight training, and trying to climb the uneven wall using only the handholds I can mould myself around isn't easy but it's gratifying to have physical evidence I'm not the helpless slime I once was.

  [You have consumed 1 Impurity]

  Breaking down the last bits of chitin, I wait to see whether my +3 Digestive Molecules can break down the blades. While I wait around, I realise that was the first encounter where I didn't lose a single digit of health! It was only a level one monster, and the entire concept of a perfectly executed ambush is to take out your quarry without giving them a chance to retaliate or run, but that's still a massive achievement!

  Mhm, I hum to myself silently, bobbing up and down. I've got a good feeling about today.

  Three minutes later, I give up on digesting the blades. If it takes this long, it isn't worth it, especially considering I likely won't get anything more out of them. I can't imagine a level one monster giving me more than one Impurity anyway, regardless of whether I eat every last morsel or not. That begs the question though; what happens to monster parts that aren’t or can’t be eaten by other monsters? You’d think the tunnels would be buried beneath scarab blades given the turnover rate of this ecosystem, but I’ve never seen so much as a scrap of organic matter left lying around since I got here.

  Something to look into.

  Making my way to the watering hole, I don't see many monsters on my way, only passing a pair of moles shuffling down a side tunnel. My cushioned motions slow, every line and bump I can make out with my sub-par vision inspected and re-inspected. It's quieter than it was before, is there an unofficial day/night cycle down here? I assumed everything was just running around fighting and sleeping as needed, but maybe I was mistaken? Honestly, the lack of traffic is… unnerving.

  Crawling out along the wall of one of the tunnels that let out into the fraught social forum, I witness a group of about five monsters currently clustered in the centre of the cave. A pair of hyenas, a pair of beetles, and a mole. The pairs are on opposite sides of the dining table sized pool, with the mole occupying the only solitary point of a visibly strained triangle.

  The tension is a thick weight hanging over everything, yet the simmering undercurrent of aggression remains as such as the individuals present sate their thirst. After a minute or two, the mole leaves, beating a hasty retreat for the tunnel nearest me.

  Hm, that's the one I haven't explored yet... well, no time like the present.

  I shift my weight, about to slip away in pursuit, when an abrupt blitz of motion at the centre of the room yanks my attention back like a tooth-string-door combo.

  Apparently, this sudden loss of their third element is a sufficient enough shift in power dynamics for the pair of scarabs to make a move. That, or they were planning to attack the hyenas the second an opportunity presented itself anyway.

  I give it a fifty-fifty split either way.

  Anywho, I watch the carapaced pair dash straight through the shallow pool, nary a thought spared for the sensibilities of those future monster who will now be drinking bug-water.

  For the hyenas' part, they split, leaping to either side, therefore forcing the beetles to pick a target. The large bugs immediately turn for the smaller of the two, the rush of clacking legs audible even to my muted senses.

  Using its freedom in an attempt to flank one of the scarabs, the unmolested hyena makes openings for its partner to nip at by coming around to also hound at the smaller of the pair.

  Watching the melee closely, I creep forward, deliberating on how I can take advantage of this scuffle...

  Suddenly, the beetle not currently avoiding being flanked whips both blades out to the side, their length glowing in my Mana sense. The glow must be visible to others, or this motion has some other kind of tell, because both hyenas immediately focus on the large insect, abandoning the one they were just in the process of surrounding in favour of leaping at the new target, lips more than likely peeled back to reveal those needle-like teeth.

  The story has been taken without consent; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.

  Unfortunately for both sides, I don't think either of them were expecting what happens next.

  Regaining its balance swiftly after the fake stumble, the momentarily ignored scarab is free to drive a blade into the flank of the smaller hyena, eliciting an audibly surprised yip of pain. On the flip side, the scarab that was about to activate some kind of Skill is caught off guard by the other hyena dashing forward faster than I would have expected, abruptly losing a blade along with its whole right foreclaw to the monster's toothy maw.

  By now, I've gotten to the edge of the shallow pool, the surface of the water still rippling from the beetles’ initial charge. Gauging the fight intently, I spy the moment the larger hyena overpowers its amputated victim, pinning the other foreclaw to the ground and crunching down on the side of the beetle's head, only a last second twitch saving the lucky bug from full-on decapitation.

  Leaping into action, I dash into the fray, beelining for the monster breathing its last. Catching everyone present completely off guard, I Pound into the scarab’s exposed underside, square beneath the head trapped in its supposed killer's jaws. The force of my attack cracks the soft undershell there and rips the beetle's head- held firm in the teeth of the hyena -clean off, killing it instantly.

  [Congratulations, you have defeated a Level 3 Blade Scarab]

  [You have gained XP]

  Yes! Last hit mechanics rule!

  The sudden removal of the scarab’s body weight causes the hyena to drop the decapitated beetle head, paws and claw tips scrabbling against rock as it stumbles back, slightly off balance. Rapidly reorienting myself to think of my back as my front, I bounce up, Engulfing its head before the thing can find its bearings. Now, this theory is one of my riskier ones, so trying it now might be a mistake, but I'm nothing if not an optimist!

  Holding on tight, I focus the bulk of my awareness on what's happening around me-

  and immediately catch the unmistakable motion of a clawed paw incoming. Warping my body to avoid the blow, I don't get completely out of the way, but the graze is light enough that my upgraded membrane isn't damaged.

  Breathing a metaphorical sigh of relief, I'm immediately challenged by another swipe, this time going fast enough that I won't be able to simply slip out of the way without letting go. Thinking fast, I pull to one side of the hyena's head, the beast letting out a “yip!” as its own paw scrapes along its snout. The moment its claw drops, I immediately flow back.

  Attacking the creature's head with my molecules as fast as I can, I feel a weird sensation in my insides where they're flowing between its jaws. It's kind of like pulling apart a piece of cotton candy, except I'm the candy...

  Slime bubbling with rage, I redouble my pre-emptive consumption now that I see my hit points have dropped from fifteen to thirteen. Did this bastard just swallow part of me?!

  Oh, that is it! Judging that I've done enough damage to the monster's eyes and ears, I throw myself at the ground, staying still for no mutt as I bounce back up to lay a Pound directly under its jaw. Feeling a satisfying crunch followed by a muffled yowl, I go again, working my hardest to knock its brains loose.

  Dropped like a sack of onions, not a single tear wells in my metaphorical eye as I glare at the downed beast, preparing myself to finish the job.

  The sharp headache building at the back of my metaphorical head is worth it. If I hadn't been expending the brain power to keep an eye on my surroundings as well, I wouldn't have seen the remaining scarab's blade before it was too late.

  As it is, I manage to mostly slip underneath the wildly swinging slashes of its flailing charge, sustaining a couple of nicks here and there. Unable to halt its own forward momentum, I Pound it right in the mandibles, a satisfying crack telling me I did some damage as it reels back. Not one to look a gift beetle in the mouth, I Pound once more, leaving the ground and scoring a direct hit centre mass on its soft undershell. The sub-optimal protection of its thorax splintering, my attack knocks the beetle back onto its hind legs.

  Third time's the charm!

  Moving around to come at it from the side before it can flip itself, I aim for the point where the beetle's body is thinnest, where the head meets the thorax. The two sections of its body almost fold in half under the blow, a sickly crack echoing through the cave. I’m glad I’ve practiced so much with the Bounce into Pound combo, the faster I’m moving the more tightly I can pack myself when I run into something, which makes my hits land a lot harder.

  [Congratulations, you have defeated a Level 2 Blade Scarab]

  [You have received XP]

  Noticing how quiet it is in our impromptu arena all of a sudden, I look around and see the body of the smaller hyena, the number of slashes in its side making it hard to tell if there's even any hairy hide left to maul. Jeeze, these bugs are viciou-

  "Grrr- YARP!"

  [Congratulations, you have defeated a Level 3 Monster Hyena]

  [You have received XP]

  Circulating myself in a desperate effort to calm down after the shock of the hyena I knocked out coming ‘round, my panic slowly washes away as I pull myself out of the crater I enlarged in its eye socket. I may have gone a bit overboard, Pounding it a few times after the system notification, but who's here to witness my little slip anyway?

  Aside from that last little heart attack, this couldn't have turned out better!

  Quickly splaying out atop and digesting the nearest body to get some health back before something else rocks up, I ruminate on what I've learned while keeping a metaphorical eye peeled.

  For starters, Pound is pulling its weight now that its gained a few levels. I'm confidently able to injure or finish off my opponents with the Skill as things stand.

  On the flip side, the discovery that my victims can simply chew and swallow to counter Engulf is a bitter pill. I'll have to figure out a workaround, or find some kind of mutation that removes eating me back as a counter-option.

  Though, I have no idea how I might go about that. I haven't seen any options for mutations besides the ones I have.

  Sigh, another question which can only be answered by gaining levels.

  [You have consumed 1 Impurity]

  Moving on to the decapitated scarab, I try pulling up some kind of mutation shop, rewarded for my burning optimism with no response.

  Eh, figured as much, I grouse. It couldn't be that easy, could it.

  Digesting at what would be breakneck speeds if I had such a frivolous not-quite-appendage, I finish up the scarab in less than a minute, moving onto the next.

  [You have consumed 1 Impurity]

  [You have consumed 1 Impurity]

  I'm partway through the hyena, the last one of the lot, when I feel vibrations through the rock below me, coming from one of the unexplored tunnels.

  Continuing to dissolve with a notably more nervous expression of broken down particles, I watch the tunnel opening closely. Whatever's moving this way, it's big. Much bigger than even the mole-dongo I fought to save that slime earlier.

  Already eating as fast as I can, I urge my molecules to work faster, jostling myself to see if that speeds up the process a little bit. I do not want to be here when this thing rocks up, whatever it is, but I can't waste the Impur-

  RRMMMBBB

  I quiver in tandem with the cave floor when another vibration echoes through the ground, strong enough to set the surface of the water nearby to rippling. That the vibration is immediately preceded by a cacophony of squealing cries I don't recognise is just icing on an already towering cake. A cake of fear.

  Frozen to the spot, my slime thick as cold porridge, a rather inane tune runs through my head.

  ~ I don't know what the fuck just happennned, but I don't really caaare; I'mma get the fuck up outta here- ~

  FUCK THIS SHIT, I AM OUT!

  Abandoning what is suddenly- when looked at from this new perspective -an entirely unimportant, singular Impurity, I race for the exit. The sound of trouble incarnate is coming from the tunnel closest to my path home, so I take the only other path I know; past the (probably) adventurer rest stop.

  Bouncing off the wall in my haste to put as much distance as possible between me and whatever is making that horrific noise, I shoot down the tunnels, blasting past a mole that doesn't so much as spare me a second glance, beating its own retreat down a smaller side path.

  Am I happy, or even more scared, now that I know I'm not overreacting?

  Rounding the corner into the wide tunnel, I take a single second to make sure it's empty before booking it at top speed past the still glowing symbol marking the location of the storage closet.

  I wanted to find out what was down the path beyond the crossroads where I sort-of-met that slime, and with something beyond spooky between me and home, onward is better than homeward.

  I passed through the open chamber where I fought the mole-dongo a few minutes earlier, and so far, the trek has been uneventful.

  The vibrations stopped before I was even halfway through the first tunnel, but I was committed at that point. Much like the three others that connect to it, this lone path, with its slight downward incline, is unremarkable once you move past the gorgeous crystal growths on the walls and ceiling. It's just rock, rock- oh, but look!

  More rock.

  Not one to be lulled into a false sense of security by such uneventful surrounds, I creep forward, Mana sense and vibration absorbent underside questing for the slightest speck of evidence that might betray something lying in wait down this otherwise empty one way street.

  No matter how monotonous the scenery is...

  Yeeeess! Vindication! After nearly ten minutes of agonisingly slow progress, my caution is rewarded in the form of a distinctly un-stalactite-looking growth attached to one of the sparse clear spaces dotted along the cave's roof at irregular intervals.

  Reducing my speed further, to the point that I'd probably be outpaced by a slug, I approach the right wall and creep forward so I can get a better look at whatever it is.

  Approximately two humanoid body lengths later- I’m sure, I counted -my perception is clear enough to make out what's clinging to the roof a short way down the tunnel.

  A spider, thick and hairy, sits glued to the stone above, legs pulled in tight to disguise its characteristic shape. I'm a little surprised it isn't trying to conceal its presence at all besides curling in and being up high... does it think it's hidden?

  Granted, it could be relying on its prey not looking up, but I doubt that's the extent of it. Even if it's a monster, it's still a spider. How would a spider try to get the jump on its prey?

  Maybe...

  They're ambush predators, right Mr Attenborough? Don't most animals like that evolve or adapt to have colours that blend into their surroundings, or dark crevices? Taking another look at the spider that obviously failed the Ninja Academy Entrance Exam, I can't see a web or hidey hole nearby. Where does it take its prey after it's done with the ambushing?

  My immediate thought is that it doesn't, eating everything right here before climbing back up to hide again.

  The fact that it's so easily visible might be a product of my senses relying on the presence of Mana, rather than light. I can't be fooled by its camouflage because I'm not technically 'seeing' it, I'm literally only able to sense the Mana it gives off.

  Making use of an aspect of the Malleable skill I've been polishing to keep myself occupied on this slow descent, I add detail to the plane of my membrane facing the unwitting arachnid, tugging my replica of a human mouth into a smirk.

  It works! Hehheh, I'm on a roll!

  Oooh yeah, this guy is gonna have a bad day when I figure out how to get him off the roof, nyeheheh!

  Now that the spider's main advantage, that being surprise, has been neutralised, I set to figuring out how to either bring him down or get up onto the roof myself. After a solid minute of thinking, I'm forced to confront the truth: I have zero chance of catching this monster by surprise.

  Where's a ranged option when I need it! Give me a suitably out of the way rock for cover, a bow, and an inventory full of arrows, and I can take down a dragon just as hard as any Dovahkiin! But right now, stuck down here with attacks suitable only for melee, my target may as well be sat atop the Throat of the World.

  So far as I can see, my only option to even take this thing on is to bait it into attacking me, but I'd rather avoid that. I have no idea what its capabilities are; for all I know, it might not even need to descend from the roof to attack me. If that turns out to be the case, I'll be in a far worse position than I am right now.

  Faced with the sheer scale of my disadvantage here, I'm ready to admit defeat. This fight isn't worth the risk, not when I don't know how strong my opponent is or isn-

  My membrane instantly pulls tight when I catch sight of a twitch from the previously statuesque arachnid. Has it found me? How?! I'm prepare to make a break for it but pause, taking note of the slightest of vibrations through the floor beneath me.

  I don’t dare leave myself open in case I'm wrong, so I split my attention between the spider above and the movement behind. Muscling through a rapidly mounting headache, I soon see a shape hustling down the tunnel from the direction I just came from.

  However, unlike me, the hyena has opted for the- popular in its simplicity -'too fast, can't touch this!' defence.

  Catching a whiff of sweet, sweet opportunity, I settle in to watch the inevitable exchange. Ruminating on the situation I've found myself in, I'm reminded of a specific meme involving church pews and a set of comedically arranged secret agents.

  .....

  Some of the tension drains out of my membrane once I take a very close look at the tunnel around and above me.

  All is well. Looks like I'm the sniper.

  Waiting with metaphorical bated breath, I watch my target like a hawk, tracking the adjustments the spider makes to its position on the ceiling in order to angle its abdomen down at the rapidly approaching hyena.

  It happens suddenly and without warning. One moment the spider is hanging there, an unsettling visage of angled legs suspending its weighty abdomen above the floor.

  The next, the distended sac that is its buttocks undulates, a thick wad of webbing spraying out to fall down atop the hapless monster passing below. The shot is well aimed, the hyena's legs almost immediately hopelessly tangled in the sticky solution, a predicament which sees its skull meeting the floor with a sharp crack and a yip of confusion.

  Now comes the moment I'm waiting for. Dropping rapidly to the floor in front of its helpless victim, the spider pounces, fangs burying into the other monster's hide once, twice-

  By the third bite, I've approached within leaping distance. Its face still buried in the meat of its victim, the arachnid can't see my rapid crawl forward, a Pound aimed for its vulnerable abdomen-

  Out of nowhere, my membrane makes contact with something I can't see. Whatever it is, it's thin and long, much like a particularly sturdy strand of hair stuck to the surface of my membrane.

  Like I just set off a foghorn under its ass, the spider whips around with lightning speed, front legs raised in a universal 'you what, mate?!' gesture. Cursing my shoddy vision as the strand of web trailing from the spider's rear end up to the roof barely comes into focus, I stand my ground, facing down yet another monster that outscales me three-to-one.

  That's it! The second I get the chance, I'm upgrading my Mana Receptors again!

  Come on then you oversized Halloween decoration, I growl, my chosen method of conveying my thoughts involving extending a single, thick tendril of slime and flexing it tauntingly in a universal gesture of my own.

  Come at me!