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  [colpse]Chapter One Hundred and Twelve - Teach a Dragon To Fish...

  “Hello mister mayor!” I said as I approached the round-tummied mayor. The man was standiathering of guards and warriors and adventurer-looking folk, fiddling with his hat with one hand while squishing a kerchief with the other.

  The man looked at me. In faearly all of them looked at me. “Miss Bunch?” he said. “Is it gone? Did you get the dragon to leave?”

  “Ah, well, not quite,” I said. I bouo a stop before him, then rocked bad forth on my heels. “So, I’ve been talking to the dragon--”

  “You talk dragon?” someone asked.

  “And we’ve e to something of a solution! It’s great. See, the dragon, uh...” I paused. Would the truth work with all of these people? Probably not, but I wasn’t a liar so... “My friends and I are teag the dragon how to date girls.”

  The g of so much armour shifting about as the nervous guards burned off their jitters stopped. Now I was sure that all of them were looking at me.

  “M-miss Bunch, could you... expin?” the mayor asked.

  “I’m pretty sure it’s because, deep down, Rhawrexdee is a romantic. So, we made a bargain with him. We’ll teach him how to date and such, and he won’t, um, eat everyone, rain thunder and lightning down upon our heads, and then bathe ierglow of the burning town. Oh, and he won’t steal yold either.”

  The mayor swallowed. “So, you will, ah, bring the dragon out of Rosenbell, and teach it there?” the mayor asked. There was a lot of hope in his eyes.

  I kinda felt bad about dashing it. “Not quite. See, to practice we need a realistiviro. And Rosenbell is quite nice.” I tried making my smile more reassuring.

  The mayor dabbed at his forehead. “You’re taking a dragon, onto a date, in my town?”

  “That’s the gist of it?” I said.

  “Are you quite mad, Miss Bunch?” The mayor asked with surprising calm.

  I shook my head. “Not even a little,” I said. “We, and by we I mean you, could always tell the dragon that his practice date is celled.”

  The mayor dabbed at his forehead some more. “What do you need from us?” he asked.

  “Just make sure all the shops and such are still open? And that people are very nid polite. You know, normal things.”

  “But towards a dragon.”

  “Yes, exactly.”

  The mayor looked towards the guard that had the fa hat around. “I will see what I do,” he offered.

  “Brilliant! I’m gonna go bad make sure that everyone is copacetic.” I fshed them a thumbs up, then bounced back towards the tre of town.

  When I arrived, it was to find Rhawrexdee nodding his big head along to something that Booksie was saying. “Yes, I think that would be for the best,” he said. His eyes so the side and he focused on me as I approached. “You... the formerly humahe other ohat is currently a human, has agreed to make me some clothes that I may look even more resple when I do begin dating for real.”

  I blihen looked over to Aas busy linking and unlinking her fingers. “Oh? That’s great!” I said. “And her name is Awen. And mine is Broccoli.”

  “Mmm, yes, but your names don’t matter, do they?” he asked.

  I felt my ears flopping to the side as I tilted my head in thought. “They kind of do. Would you go on a date with someohout even knowing her name?”

  “Would her ter more than her virginity and priness?” he wondered.

  I nodded. “Oh yeah. I think people care a lot more about their haher of those. They might not be important to you, but they’re important to her.”

  Rhawrexdee let out a long, warm breath. “Yes, I suppose even the characters iories have names. But the names you little ones have are all so droll.”

  “I like my name,” I said.

  “I’m not dating you,” he said. “I know better than to date a riftwalker.” He turowards Awen. “Tell this oo get to work. I expect my garments to be ready as soon as I am to depart.”

  “Ah, when are you pnning on leavily?”

  Rhawrexdee shifted his massive wings in what I suspected was a shrug. “Whenever I deem myself ready. I’m a dragon, I leave if and when I want.”

  “Alrighty then,” I said. Turning to Awen, I cleared my throat to speak in a more normal tone. “So, he wants you to start making him a fit for his dates. you do that?”

  “Awa, I think I ,” Awen said. “I might need his measurements though.”

  I judged whether or not we could stretch his patiehat long. The tapping of cws as long as my forearm on the ground suggested no. “How about you go talk to the mayor, expin things, then find Yond. I’m sure she help.”

  “G-got it!” Awen said. She backed away from the dragon for a few steps, then took off in a sprint.

  “ we start now?” Rhawrexdee asked.

  I hen looked over to Amaryllis who was lookira unimpressed, with her arms crossed and her nose in the air. “Let me introduce you to your date for the evening,” I said as I stepped closer. I gestured Amaryllis up and down. “Hailing from the Harpy Mountains, from the Albatross family, this is Amaryllis Albatross, third daughter of the , Thuraordinaire, and my best friend!”

  “Did you just introduce me?” Amaryllis asked. “I didn’t uand more than a word in te I still know you butchered it.”

  “Your turn,” I said to Rhawrexdee. “Tell me what you wao say for you, I’ll act as one of your transtors.”

  The dragon stood a little taller theipped batil he was standing on his hindlegs, his chest puffing out and his wings spread behind him. As far as dispys went, it retty impressive to have ay foot span of leathery wings appear above you to hide the sun. “I am Rhawrexdee, son of Lawlyhoumad and Nhoyhou. He who smote the clouds themselves! The thunder hammer! The sce of the norther!”

  Lightning fshed across an otherwise clear sky and disappeared over the horizon.

  Rhawrexdee looked down. “How was that?”

  I cpped. “Very impressive,” I said. “But, I think your tone is a bit off.”

  Rhawrexdee tilted his head. “The tone?” he asked.

  I saw Booksie nod as she came to stao me. “Indeed, mighty Rawrexdee. Pce yourself in the position of the princess. She’s ready for a date with a handsome dragon, and then she’s suddenly overwhelmed by all of his titles and the prestige of his ’s like walking into a room, proud of how good you look that day, only to have aire crowd of eveier people walk by. It hurt a little.”

  “Ah, yes, I suppose unlike us dragons, princesses have fragile egos,” Rhawrexdee said with a firm nod. He raised a hand to stroke his spiky in thought. “Perhaps you are right, long-eared potential snack.”

  “Her name is Booksie,” I said.

  “That doesn’t sound like a very appealing name. Books are for reading, ing.”

  I nodded. “Exactly. Do Booksie. Or any of my friends... or anyone else, please.”

  The dragon rolled his eyes at me. “Humanoids,” he muttered. “Now, we begin this date?”

  “Of course!” I said. I stepped up between him and Amaryllis. “Now, you’ve been introduced, so it’s time for you to pliment the prio make her feel nice.”

  The dragon hummed, it sounded like a semi-trailer shifting gears. “Very well,” he said before clearing his throat. “Oh, radiay of this early dawn, your feathers glisten like m dew and your eyes have the burning glow of yet-not-unleashed cruelty. I wish only to be the dragon upon which that fire burns, that I may bask in its glow ahe warmth of a heart so pure that even the vessel around it is indest. You are the fever of my brow and the burning of my loins.”

  I blinked a few times, my cheeks growing a little warm. “Ah,” I said.

  “Are you not going to trahat?” Rhawrexdee asked.

  Booksie tilted her head. “Was that from the Flowers of the Blood Spring?” she asked.

  Rhawrexdee turo face her fully. “You’ve read that?”

  “I have. It’s a cssic.”

  The dragon huffed. “It’s alright. The actual story is dull and tripe.”

  “Yes, but the prose,” Booksie rebutted.

  Rhawrexdee hummed. “I’ll give you that much, the prose is quite well done. Especially the ses where the lovers meet i.”

  “Those are the best parts,” Booksie agreed. “Did you read the author’s other works? Flora of Stained Winters and Pnts in Muddy Summer?”

  “I’ve read Winters, but I could never find the st ohe copies are difficult to find.” The dragon’s eyes narrowed. “How did you find one?”

  Booksie looked down and away. “I owned a bookstore. I got to hoard quite a few cssics over the years.”

  “A hoard of books? Impressive... what was your name again?”

  “Booksie. My friends call me Booksie.”

  Rhawrexdee showed his teeth in what I suspect was a smile. “Good. I’m gd you’re well-read, Booksie, you better transte my prose for me.”

  “I’ll do my best.” Booksie bowed at the waist, then started to trao a more and more horrified Amaryllis.

  While she did so, Rhawrexdee shifted to be closer to me. “I see why you wao dey for some days. Obtaining su expert was a good call. She seems far better suited to getting the meaning of my words across than you.”

  “Uh. Thanks. I think?” I waited for Booksie to be done and for the look of disgust to wear off Amaryllis’ face before I cpped my hands. “Okay, now the two of you start the date with a little walk. Just along the shops, I think.”

  “And I will ramsay store for the precious gems and gold that catches her eye,” Rhawrexdee said.

  “Ah. That, that depends on the girl, I think. Some wome into... gems, and stuff.”

  The dragon was looking at me with pure doubt in his big eyes.

  “I mean, you should establish what the woman finds important while walking with her, right? Maybe she’s a gold and gems kind of girl, but maybe she’s more ied in other things. I like hanging out with my friends, Booksie here likes a good book. Not all girls are the same. In fact, they’re pretty much all different.”

  “How strange. My research led me to believe there were only four or five archetypes to deal with. Are you quite certain?”

  “Very,” I said.

  “That’s unfortunate. I had pegged Amaryllis as the feisty sort with a heart of gold. I will have to rethink my entire pn for wooing her.”

  Booksie tittered, which gained her the dragon’s attention. “I’m afraid that not everyos ly into the same sort of categories as a character in a book. At least, the best characters also fail to fit into categories too, so maybe it’s not all bad.”

  “I suppose not,” Rhawrexdee said. “I will merely have to put my great intellect to work to find a solution as we date.”

  “If you don’t mind me asking, sir Rhawrexdee, how did you e to be so well-read?”

  The dragon looked a little trite. “Ah, well, I have difficulty reading the tiny books you little people make, so I ied something I call an audio book.”

  “Oh? A sort of magic?” Booksie wondered. “Library magic always fasated me!”

  “Likewise! But no. An audio book is when you find someohat read and transte a book at the same time, usually a schor, and then kidnap them so that they read to you. I like listening to... mature and iing books during long flights.”

  “Oh, that’s... clever.”

  “Isn’t it?” he said with obvious pride. “My sister, Cholondee, mocked me, but the herself hooked on all these alterales of historical figures written by fanatics. Disgusting filth I say!” He shook his head as if to clear it. “But that is all quite besides the point. Let’s start this thing, shall we?”