“It’s okay,” said Dizzy. “You can look now.”

  Astrid uncovered her eyes. “Where are we?”

  Whips made of lightning cracked all around them as they penetrated the unseen space between worlds, the deep purple space around them aglow with eldritch power, crystalline shoots of strange matter erupting all around them. They sailed over a planet-like body of rock with writhing, worm-like creatures covering its surface — they turned their large, insect-like heads to see the passing car as it flew overhead — and whisked past a cloud of gas that had lightning cooking inside it and that spewed caustic acid-rain in every direction. They rocketed through a field of crystal debris that pecked and rattled off the car’s forward windshield. Astrid was agog.

  “The eighth dimension,” said Dizzy. “Or whatever the NeuroScape thinks that would actually be like.”

  “Wow,” said Astrid, staring out the windows. “This is weird.”

  “You can say that again.”

  “Wow,” said Astrid, “this is weird.”

  “I didn’t mean that literally.”

  “Oh. Sorry. But jeez . . . look at this place! How did we get here? What did you do?”

  “I used an oscillation overthruster, babe. Y’see, when Mystikite programmed his ‘Roleplayer Generisys’ system into the NeuroScape, he was thoughtful enough to include a totally exhaustive ‘Sci-Fi Gadgets’ compendium with it. Nestled deep down in its pages was the overthruster . . . Y’know from that movie? The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai: Across The Eight Dimension? Nope? Never seen it? Oh well dahlink, you haven’t lived! It’s a total cult classic! We should rent it on iTunes sometime and totally devour it together! But, anyway. The overthruster, and how it works — ”

  “Why do I have the feeling that this is gonna be one of those ’Tell Me, Professor’ monologues that they always do in bad sci-fi novels?”

  “Shush yo mouth and listen!” said Dizzy, putting a finger to her lips. “Now, then. Ahem. If this were reality — and remember, the NeuroScape treats everything like it’s reality — the atoms of the Elder God — or any solid object, for that matter — are held together by the exchange of these little thingies called virtual photons, the carriers of the ‘electromagnetic force,’ which constantly travel betwixt the nuclei of the atoms, and their electron shells. Now, those virtual photons normally have zero mass. What I did was I granted them mass, by injecting them with an overload of particles called intermediate vector bosons, which are the carriers of the ‘weak nuclear force,’ which is responsible for radioactive decay in atomic nuclei. Once they had mass, the virtual photons couldn’t travel between the nuclei of the atoms and their electron shells anymore, thus emptying the space between the nuclei and the shells . . . Now as you probably know, matter is mostly made up of that same empty space . . . In fact, we’re more empty space than we are solid matter! And normally, that empty space is filled with these virtual photon exchanges between nuclei and electron shells, the phenomenon of which is what makes matter appear solid. So basically what I did, was I briefly took away the Elder God’s property of solidity for just a split second . . . I made him interdimensionally-translucent. And we, my dear, slipped between his atomic nuclei and his electron shells! But since that requires us to penetrate matter on the subatomic level where the electromagnetic and weak nuclear forces are unified, that means we’re operating on a level where higher dimensional spaces come into play, since most higher-dimensional hyperspaces are compactified into the tiniest corners of the universe to begin with . . . Hyperspaces such as the very fine and homey-lookin’ eighth dimension, which is where we now find ourselves. Get the pict-cha, sistah?”

  Astrid grabbed her head. “Ugh. Yes. I understand completely. But please know that even though I’m a virtual lifeform, and have the power of the entire Mechanology’ Positronic Metacognitive Processor grid running as my cerebral cortex . . . you just broke my virtual brain, Dizzy.”

  “I aim to please,” said Dizzy, beaming.

  “So what are we doing here?” said Astrid. “Why did you bring us into the eighth dimension to begin with?”

  “Because,” said Dizzy. “I have a plan. We’re going to use the logic of the NeuroScape’s ‘reality simulation’ software against the logic of Ravenkroft’s Elder God and its presence here. If we can increase the level of intermediate vector bosons flowing out of the virtual laser beam attached to my virtual Fangirl, then we can increase the mass of the virtual photons within the Elder God’s virtual atomic structure from within the eighth dimension. Thus if the NeuroScape plays along, according to its own protocols, we can cause the Elder God’s interdimensional structure to collapse entirely. However, if it collapses in the wrong way, and the NeuroScape ‘plays along,’ it could wink us out of existence as surely as it does the Elder God. And I’m not sure what that would do. Would I just wake up, back one level up in the simulation, in Ravenkroft’s freaky laboratory? Or would I be snuffed out, my consciousness turned into excess scrambled data, and I just go ‘poof?’ Dunno. Would have to roll ‘em bones. And as for you . . . well . . .”

  “I’d be erased,” said Astrid, flatly. “Wouldn’t I.”

  “Uh, yeah,” said Dizzy softly. “That’d be correct-a-mundo. You would be erased. But hey — it wouldn’t be a picnic for me either, assuming I don’t just wake up in the next level up of the Simulation. I’ve got a fifty-fifty shot at being wiped out too, y’know.”

  Stolen content alert: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.

  “Well,” said Astrid with a shrug, “to quote Flash Gordon and Queen . . . ‘Who wants to live forever,’ right?” She shrugged and gave a small smile.

  “Right,” said Dizzy, and she smiled back. She turned to face the controls, started to reach for the touch-screen control panel, and then paused. “Wait a sec. You’ve seen Flash Gordon and you’ve listened to the Queen album A Kind of Magic — the soundtrack to Highlander — but you’ve never seen Buckaroo Banzai?”

  Astrid shrugged again and shook her head. “I ‘unno. Y’know. Some stuff I miss, y’know? So. How do we do this?”

  “Okay,” said Dizzy. “First, we need to turn the laser back on, and fire up the micro-accelerator.”

  Dizzy began tapping the “plus” sign next to the digital counter on the touch-screen that read LASER BOSON DENSITY. The number increased. She turned her attention to the windshield. The green-glowing laser beam extending from the roof of the car grew brighter, and brighter still. The car began to vibrate, and heat baked in from the roof of the cabin where the monster hadn’t torn it open.

  But then, suddenly, a monstrous roar sounded from all around them, causing the rest of the metal of the car to rattle and hum in resonance.

  “What the hell was that?” asked Astrid.

  “Beats me,” said Dizzy. She checked the rearview mirrors. Astrid turned around and looked out the back window. Her eyed widened.

  “Uh, Dizzy?” she said. “Is the Eighth Dimension . . . or the NeuroScape’s version of it . . . inhabited?”

  “I have no . . .” began Dizzy, and then — oh frak — she saw it, in the mirror, and turned around to get a better look. Oh Jesus-Jumped-Up-Fiddling-Christ-On-A-Pogo-Stick!

  There, off to the right and some ways away from them, upon the surface of an enormous planet made of green rock that they were currently streaking past: A huge, worm-like creature was stirring from its slumber on the dusty surface beneath a thin layer of atmosphere. It looked like a giant caterpillar, with a hundred armored segments plastered all over its body, with each of its hundred, spindly legs ending in sharp red, metallic spikes, its giant insectoid wings spreading out above it and to either side and buzzing it into the air. Its giant, glowing compound eyes protruded over its maw of spiked, churning teeth that dribbled what looked like acid as it uncurled and writhed into the space above the planet. It was headed right for them even as they rocketed past the huge planet like a comet spitting green laser fire.

  “Oh just ducky,” said Astrid. “That’s all we need. Another monster! We weren’t finished with the first one yet!”

  “Tell me about it,” said Dizzy.

  “Now what’ll we do?”

  “Well,” said Dizzy, “we can try to avoid it while I punch up the boson density in the laser. Once it reaches critical levels, we can collapse the dimensional structures, and then all our problems will be solved!”

  “Yeah,” said Astrid, rolling her eyes as Dizzy poured on more speed, “one way or another!”

  Dizzy shoved the steering wheel and pushed on the thrust control lever, and the car accelerated forward with another burst of speed, knocking both of them back into their seats again. Astrid turned and looked behind them. Dizzy glanced in her mirror. Dammit. The frakking thing was keeping pace with them — and was actually gaining on them, its huge wings buzzing impossibly fast for their size — did the laws of physics themselves work differently in this part of the Simulation? She guessed they did — as it propelled itself through the space behind them. This was so not good. There must’ve been some kind of atmosphere variable here that enabled it to do that. It was the only explanation. The monster gained on them, roaring and screaming as it came, bellowing a primeval cry of furious rage, its crimson eyes burning with wild hatred and menacing hunger as it closed the distance to the car, and then, all at once, it was upon them. It lurched up into the space just above the car. Astrid screamed and Dizzy winced in surprise — and they both ducked instinctively — as four giant, metallic spines came thrusting down into the car’s cabin at the corners, tearing through the metal and upholstery with horrible tearing and metal-rending noises.

  “Frak!”

  “Fuck!”

  Dizzy briefly lost control of the car, the laser on top going all wonky and shining in every direction. She grabbed at the wheel again and trying to marshal it back under control, but the car bucked and swayed as the creature on top of it held it fast in its embrace, roaring and screeching as it gripped it in its pincers. The laser beam shooting out from the roof of the car began to flicker on and off and waver in its intensity.

  “Oh just frakking great!” yelled Dizzy as she struggled to regain control. “I . . . hate . . . Monsters! The frakking thing has damaged the laser assembly! Now we can’t inject the intermediate vector bosons into the beast’s atomic and interdimensional structure . . . and we have no way back out of the eighth dimension!”

  “I’ve . . . I’ve got an idea,” said Astrid over the roar of the fierce wind now pouring through the cabin. It stank; a rotten, sewage smell, like weeks-old garbage left to rot. “At least, I think I do. The problem with the laser is probably just a loose wire or a damaged circuit. Do you have a toolkit we can repair it with?”

  Dizzy thought. Did she? Did she remember to program that into the Simulated Fangirl? God, she hoped she had. But then again —

  “Why don’t we just ‘hack’ it fixed?” said Dizzy. “Like I somehow ‘hacked’ myself into this outfit, and gave myself the strength to cut those ropes . . . or like you did earlier? You turned yourself into a ball of light, remember? And somehow gave me extra Constitution, and Dexterity? And Strength?”

  “I’ve been trying to turn into my Light form this whole time,” said Astrid, shaking her head. “I can’t do it here. I can’t do any Magic in the eighth dimension construct, it appears.”

  Dizzy sighed. It would just frakking figure that it worked that way! Grr. “The toolkit is in the glove box, I think. There’s also a Disruptophazer in there. Take that too. It’s got a clip for your belt.”

  Astrid opened the glove box. “It’s here,” she said, getting out a small leather case. She opened it, unzipping the side of it. Inside, sure enough, NeuroScape replicas of Dizzy’s favorite portable soldering iron, screwdriver, a series of bits, a couple of wrenches, needle-nose pliers, wire-cutters. And of course, the miniature Disruptophazer pistol she had inserted into the “Sci-Fi Weapons” module of Mystikite's Roleplayer Generisys system.

  “Try to hold her steady, Dizzy,” said Astrid, unbuckling her seatbelt. “I’m goin’ EVA.”

  “What?” said Dizzy. “Don’t be a nutter-butter, Astrid!”

  “Try and stop me.” Astrid grinned. And then kissed Dizzy on the check. Above them, the monster convulsed from head to toe, shaking the car. Astrid climbed out of the window, and sat her butt on the windowsill.

  Focus on trying to maintain control, Dizzy told herself. Breathe. Just breathe. Astrid knows what she’s . . . ah, who am I kidding. She’s probably gonna get herself killed. Oh frakkin’ well. It was nice knowin’ her.