Year 4, Day 4
… That’s strange. I feel a bit tired this time as I 'wake' from the meditation. Instinctively I try to rub my eyes but realize, no hands … or eyes for that matter.
That's right, I died and was reborn as a sentient piece of dust. It seems my mind still has almost a phantom sense of my previous body because the sensation of my eyes feeling droopy is so strong that I’m having a hard time getting my brain to acknowledge it as false. This must be what phantom limbs feel like. There isn't much I can do about the sensation. I hope it goes away soon.
As my train of thought slows, the blue screens pop up again with all the updates over the past two years. The last two times, it was immediate but there seems to have been a few second delay. Maybe my mind doesn't respond well to meditating longer than a year? I don't really recognize the time passing, to me it just feels like falling asleep but perhaps there is some effect on my soul. I’m not exactly sure how things work here. I don’t even know anything about the soul to begin with so I don’t have any foundation to start making hypotheses. Hopefully I learn more as I go along.
[Meditative Trance ended. Calculating experience.]
[2226 experience points gained. Reincarnator has leveled up.]
[Weak Attractive Force has improved by 1%. Range improved by 2 μm.]
[Merged with 16 pieces of dust, size increased. Now large enough to assimilate iron dust, pollen grains, and mold spores.]
Seems I grew quite a bit this time. A lot of new options for assimilation but since I still have only gained dust so far, it would be safe to assume that I am indoors. I wonder what kind of world I am in? Would it be normal like Earth or is there magic? ... Well, thinking about it logically I guess it's safe to think magic exists because I definitely didn't have a blue game screen showing my stats while I worked at my desk job. I wonder if I’ll be able to use magic.
Let’s see my stats.
[Reincarnator: James Halverson
Form: Dust Speck LVL 3
Size: 23 μm
XP: 722
Next Level: 3000 XP]
No skill this time. Perhaps a skill comes every 2 levels? Maybe there's a set schedule. I really would like to get a skill that gives me some sense of what is around me. I also would really appreciate it if my meditation upgraded, so I can progress a bit faster. I'll have to meditate for a little over 2 years more to reach the next level, and while I don't really notice the time, I worry about being unaware for that long. I don’t know if I can be damaged or destroyed but even if I could, I have no way of protecting myself or knowing. It seems illogical, I know, but for some reason I’d rather be aware if I die than have it happen while I’m meditating.
Since I need a little over 2 years, I might as well just round up to 3 and make sure I make as much progress as possible. There seem to be increased xp benefits if I meditate for a longer time.
Activate Meditative Trance for 3 years
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Year 7, Day 11
Ugh. What? Why is it so dark? Where is the light switch? I try to reach out and feel around my bed for the switch but my fingers don’t connect with anything. I can’t even feel my fingers, what’s going on? Oh ... right. I remember now.
It took me a bit to gather my senses. I don't know why but my mind is starting to feel really foggy after waking up. I really don’t feel comfortable with that, what if the meditation is dangerous? Something to think about later since the system prompts show up in my mind. Let's see what we got here.
[Meditative Trance ended. Calculating experience.]
[4434 experience points gained. Reincarnator has leveled up.]
That’s basically double the xp I got last time from only one additional year. There’s definitely a benefit to longer meditations but does that also mean that there are risks to the longer mediations too?
[Skill Acquired - Weak Blind Sense. Passive. Gain a basic sense of what materials are around the core. Range is equal to 1/2 the size.]
[Weak Attractive Force has improved by 1%. Range improved by 3 μm.]
[Meditative Trance has improved and will generate 100% more experience upon successful trance completion.]
[Merged with 25 pieces of dust, 4 pieces of iron dust. Size increased. Now large enough to assimilate silt dust and salt grains.]
Interesting. A lot to unpack here. Let’s start out by activating my new skill. I think it will give me some sort of tool tip explaining what’s around me but it may even be some kind of vision. I hope that’s the case because that would really help my mental state. The eternal void, absent of everything including darkness, is wearing on me.
Activate Weak Blind Sense
The first thing that is apparent is that I can see now! Well, 'seeing' is not really an apt description of what it's like. My view is still mostly empty but I can “see” the outlines and shapes of the various particles around me. I’m pretty sure that I’m on a flat surface at the moment, but my vision doesn't extend far enough to tell much about it. I don't recognize any other massive things around me to give clues to my surroundings but I can see dozens of smaller particles around me. This is actually really handy since it not only shows the outline but I get a label of the material in the center of each particle.
The closest example I can think of for what this “view” is like would be that old vector line tank game… What was the name of it again? It used to be one of my favorites. Hmm. Anyway, that’s not important right now.
Looking around, I see a majority of dust particles which makes sense but also a few iron dust particles too. I recognize a couple pieces of silt also but they aren't very close to me. The surface I'm on isn't labeled though, I wonder if I'm only able to see the label's of identified materials or maybe only materials that I can assimilate? Maybe I have to be able to see the entire surface to get a label? Something to investigate.
I also want to know more about my form. There is a new little info button next to my level.
[Reincarnator: Ja?mes Ha?lverson
Form: Dust Speck LVL 4 ?
Size: 96 μm
XP: 2156
Next Level: 4500 XP]
I don't have hands to click it... what am I supposed to do?
[Express desire to open Form Info screen to view]
Oh thanks. Are you some kind of AI? Or maybe a soul like me?
If you encounter this story on Amazon, note that it's taken without permission from the author. Report it.
...
No response.
Alright let's open the Form info screen.
[Form Info
Composition by Size: Dust 50%, Iron 50%
Further info can be obtained with new or upgraded skills.]
So those 4 iron pieces made up half of my size, wow. Since iron looks to be the primary resource around here besides dust, I guess that means I'll be following some kind of metallic upgrade cycle if that continues. Do I have info about how my skills, abilities, or stats are affected by my composition?
[No information at this time. Further info can be obtained with new or upgraded skills.]
Awesome. How very helpful you are. Well no, you actually are pretty helpful. Sorry for the unnecessary sarcasm. I guess I’m just a bit lonely and want someone to talk to. Not that it looks like you can or will talk back so I should probably just stop trying huh?
Let’s look at my form for now and not think too much about that. I don’t know if I can afford to let myself think of things that may cause my mind to break down at the moment. So currently I’m made of dust and iron dust. Iron dust is probably just small iron flakes or something of the like. And then dust is… hmm. Now that I think about it, I'm not actually sure what dust is. I remember hearing it was made from dead skin and things like that but I don’t know if that’s actually true. System can I ask you what the primary makeup of the dust around my core is?
…
[The Database has the following information about dust: Dust is made of fine particles of solid matter such as soil lifted by the wind, volcanic eruptions, and pollution. Dust in dwellings or inhabited areas can be up to 50% dead skin cells. Currently the makeup of the dust surrounding the Reincarnator's core is primarily made of fine particles of soil and volcanic material.]
That was surprisingly informative and pretty useful. Do I have access to the Database? I’d really like to get a look at some other materials entries.
[Database access is restricted.]
Naturally, I should've expected that. I feel a bit exasperated but honestly I have learned a lot so far. My best guess so far is that I am either in an abandoned mine or some kind of unused metal manufacturing plant? The iron dust is what really makes me think this, but I don't know much about the technology of this world. It could be as advanced as Earth's factories or perhaps as primitive as the hunter gathering era.
One of the reasons I expect I am indoors or at least in an enclosed space is that there seems to be very little air movement disturbing myself and the dust around me. After what I think was a few hours of watching, I only saw what, I think, were two small gusts of winds. That also explains why I haven't been assimilating material faster, since the low air circulation would also reduce my contact with the other particles nearby. The amount of dust that’s here could be attributed to an inhabited space or somewhere really old. Can’t tell for sure.
I need to find a way to move. Perhaps I would need to assimilate a living creature. The only living creatures this small I can remember studying about were Dust Mites and Tardigrades. They are still quite a bit larger than me so I would need to grow to keep expanding in order to even try assimilating them. Actually, could I even do that? So far it has only been inanimate materials. I haven’t encountered anything living yet so I don’t know if I could even affect those. Another thing to watch for.
I don't really have anything else to do at the moment. I could activate the membrane and focus on iron particles. I wouldn’t grow as fast but iron may lead to better options in the future so it might be worth the risk. On the other hand, it already is so much more effective than dust and I don’t seem to come into contact with it often where I am at so it’s probably better to keep the skill off for now. I think I just want to keep growing through any means necessary. If, no, once I can move around, I’ll activate it.
Since I got an upgrade to my mediation skill, I want to try experimenting with it some more. Based on my previous two attempts, I got almost twice as much xp for 3 years as I did for 2, so if the 100% increase is true, then I’ll be able to start meditating for shorter and shorter times. I'm going to try meditating for 2 years this time, that seems like a good test since I can compare it against the previous two attempts. I also really just want to compare and see how effective the upgrade is.
Activate Meditative Trance for 2 years
[Warning. Soul tethering compromised. Consecutive uses of Meditative Trance may result in soul degradation. Are you sure you would like to activate Meditative Trance?]
uhhh... what? If I had a heart it would have dropped like a stone. I don’t know enough about this world, I need to know what’s going on.
[Soul tethering is weak. Further extended use of Meditative Trance is not advised.]
You said that already! What does it mean?? Soul tethering? Are you saying that my soul can be cast adrift? Is that saying I’ll die? I need some answers here and fast. Shouldn't this have been listed in the skill description? I’m torn between feeling dread and outrage as I try to take this new warning in. Had I been warned about this by the manager? No… I don’t think so. I can't remember. Ugh. I thought this reincarnation was hard enough already and now there are extra dangers that I’m not told about?
[Soul tethering is nothing dangerous. It refers to the soul's connection to their memories of previous lives. It is common for most souls to be untethered before rebirth though Office reincarnation tend to keep their memories due to a request from !REDACTED!.]
Surprisingly as I read the alert I feel a lot calmer than expected. I thought I would be extremely attached to my memories from before but now… now they just feel like an amenity, nice but not necessary. Why is that?
First things first, I need to figure this out. So you are saying I might forget who I am? ... I mean, was? Are you sure it’s not dangerous, are there any serious side effects other than memory loss?
[Soul tethering is irreversible. After death, the soul will take in the experiences of its most recent life, writing the life lessons into its identity. Memories forgotten cannot be retrieved.]
But that's it, right? My personality may change some and I'll forget about my life from before this, but nothing else will happen to me? That doesn’t sound too bad.
[Further information about soul tethering is unavailable to the Reincarnator.]
Right. I’d sigh if I could, but mental exasperation is the best I can muster at the moment. Why do you keep calling me Reincarnator, anyway? I have a name. It's Ja?mes. Is that part of the soul untethering, trying to get me to forget my identity?
[The Reincarnator's identity is their own to discover.]
What does that even mean?!? I swear this thing gives the most vague and least helpful answers at every chance it can. What is your purpose? Is some sick manager from the Office making a game out of this or are you an automated system that just has a bias against helping in a meaningful way?
...
The system didn't respond to any of my questions after that for quite some time. Finally I asked about the risk, because honestly, when stuck between possibly losing a few memories or being forced to spend a year or more in real time, I would probably choose to risk forgetting my little sister's birthday or some other useless memory. I can almost guarantee that if I was stuck with nothing to do for years on end, I would certainly go insane. Honestly, that sounds worse, at least for the moment.
What's the chance of being untethered?
[The soul tether is severed when all the previous memories are forgotten. Currently, you have spent 7 years in Meditative Trance, thus the chance of losing a particular memory is 0.07%.]
Are you kidding me? You made me freak out over less than half a percent chance of losing my memories? Now I feel kind of ridiculous. Honestly that’s not too bad, I was never one for gambling but I like those odds.
[The 0.07% chance does not refer to the chance that all memories are forgotten, instead that is the chance for each individual memory to be forgotten.]
[The Database indicates that the human brain from your previous universe contains 1 quadrillion pieces of information. That would mean, at your current untethering risk of 0.07%, you would lose 70 trillion pieces of information.]
[You may notice the loss. However, due to the sheer amount of memories in the brain, it is statistically guaranteed you will lose some memories each time Meditative Trance is used for longer than 1 year.]
Ok I understand better now. Kind of. So basically it's random in terms of what would be forgotten, as a piece of information is lost the memories would just become more fuzzy until I don't remember anything anymore. Right?
[Correct.]
Thank you. You have answered a lot of questions for me recently, I’m sorry for my outburst before. Do you have a name or anything I can call you by if I want to ask questions in the future? You seem to just read my thoughts and intrude whenever you feel like it but is there a way I can address you?
...
Fine, don't answer. It's not like I expected a response anyways.
I need to digest this before deciding what to do. I know I said before that I didn’t mind losing my memories, but thinking back there are a lot of things I don’t want to forget. My life wasn’t perfect but I had some really good things at times. I know a lot of stuff from my life too and I don’t want to lose that either. This is tricky. I don't want to risk going insane but on the other hand, I don't want to forget everything from my previous life either. I have a feeling it will come in handy if I ever am able to start making real choices.
...
Math seems to be easier here. I couldn't say why. I have nothing to write with, but I'm able to do rather complicated calculations in mind without forgetting where I was. I can visualize the equation almost. Not really, but almost. If I had to describe it, it’s like my whole mind is running at perfect capacity. My memory is easy to recall and rather vivid, at least most of it. Sometimes there are a few things I can’t remember. I can calculate things that I used to have to do by hand or remember obscure facts I had to memorize in college without any difficulty.
How was that relevant to my train of thought? Oh, yeah. I decided to do some math. The system confirmed that my choice to use the meditation skill will use my current value of soul untethering risk only at the end of the trance. So that means the longer I meditate, the more xp I get in terms of the risk. However that means that future attempts will have a greater risk of causing memory loss as the percentage will have risen considerably.
Knowing my next evolution was at level 20, I decided to figure out how long it would take with my current bonuses to XP to reach level 20. That's my best chance for reaching a point where I don't need to rely on Meditative Trance anymore. It's possible that I could simply evolve into a pebble instead of dust speck and gain no other abilities to act, but I think I can't avoid that risk. I have to do something if I want to get anywhere with my mind in its best shape possible.
I simply just don't think I have the ability to keep moving casually one level at a time anymore. It's too much of a risk. I had to guess a lot based on my few experiences getting experience with the skill but the math seemed to work out where I would need around 450,000 more experience points to reach level 20 and if I assumed the values of XP given by Meditative Trance, it would take about 20 years of meditation including the new benefit.
By that point, I'll have lived in this world about the same time as I lived on earth in my last life. Wow that’s actually crazy to think about. From my perspective it's only been a few hours, a day at most, yet I’ve already been here seven years.
Hey system, do you think it's worth it?
[The risk of Soul Untethering compared to experience points gained seems to be favorable in the mind of the Reincarnator.]
It's Ja?mes, remember? I really don’t feel comfortable being called Reincarnator. It feels so impersonal and distant and I’m already alone enough as it is. I don’t need the one other maybe sentient thing that I can talk to, treating me like an object and always calling me by some bureaucratic name. You know… the alert cut me off before I could keep going.
[However, meditating for such a long time increases the risk of being disrupted and not receiving the benefits of completing the full trance.]
Do you know the chances of being disturbed? What does it even mean? Is that being killed or just bumped around enough?
[Information unclear or prohibited.]
Got it. Didn’t want an answer to that anyways. I really ought to stop getting my hopes up when I ask you questions.
Well I suppose I have no other choice, right? This is my best chance to get out and I need to take it.
Activate Meditation Trance for 20 years
Just as my mind vision starts to retract into itself, closing itself off from the world as the mediation begins, I see a message appear that I can’t quite make out, then another one. They are blurry for some reason. I’m sure it’s not importa…
[Please be careful,]
[James]
[Reincarnator: Ja?mes Ha?lverson
Form: Dust Speck LVL 4
Composition by Size: Dust 50%, Iron 50%
Size: 96 μm
XP: 2156
Next Level: 4500 XP]
Skills
Reincarnator's Blessing. Passive. Increase experience gain by 5%. Increase luck by 1. Improve relevance of skills upon leveling up.
Meditative Trance II. Active. Voluntarily enter a state of meditation for a predetermined time. Gain 1 experience points for every day spent in meditation. If the trance is not ended early, experience points gained will be multiplied in proportion to time spent in meditation.
Assimilation. Passive. Upon direct contact with objects of similar or lesser size, the object will be assimilated into the main body.
Weak Attractive Force IV. Passive. 8% more likely to attract smaller or equal sized objects that are less than 16 μm away when active.
Core Membrane. Passive. Prevents unspecified materials from coming into contact with the core. Only one type of material may be chosen.
Weak Blindsense. Passive. Gain a basic sense of what is around the core. Range is equal to 1/2 the size.
