The cold air gently breeze, the young man's long braided brown hair fluttered as the air passed him. His blue eyes were stern like a hawk's; his physique is hidden within his thick coat. That, alongside his relatively pale and smooth skin, and a lesser jawline, contributed to his slightly androgynous appearance. Still, over all, he is still somewhat clearly male.

  This young man's name is Arsef, and he stood abreast at the front row with 300 others, and formed a block of former trainees — now proper soldiers in the eyes of the crown.They trained relentlessly on the frigid snowy wastelands of the kingdom's north, and as a result — hardened by the harsh training and environment; they are now part of the reserve army. They no longer wore their typical combat uniforms complete with armor and a roughly standard set of equipment, garments and weapons.Instead, they wore heavy clothing like fur coats to fight the incoming cold.

  "Ugh... I'm proud to serve, but.. I am glad that this is over." A man his age spoke in a near-whisper as he slightlg rustled.

  "Indeed, all of us share your feelings." In his breathy voice, Arsef replied promptly in the same volume.

  Clearly not expecting a response, he stiffened.

  "S-sir! I —"

  "Oh, don't be so cowed," He interrupts swiftly. "This is the last day, while I may value discipline, I'm aware that laxation has it's merits. Standeasy." He gestures after his reassurance.

  "Yes... Lieutenant." His subordinate clearly expressed relief as he replies alongside a heavy sigh.

  For all of them present, it had been a hard two years since they started training as a unit in the reserve army. While Arsef enjoyed the camaraderie, he did not like the monotonous life at bootcamp. After finishing his mastery of cryomancy and pyromancy simultaneously, while also apprenticing on the laboratories of the armory enchanment guild of the capital. But now, discovering his proficiency in combat... he was not sure if desired such work anymore.

  But first, he had to complete the mandatory training as part of the kingdom's compulsory military service, which he had found tedious, and his boredom was only soothed by writing and reading — much like everybody else.

  Thus far, his general experience had consisted of — wake up, train, eat, train, eat, train, eat and sleep. This pattern is intermittently disrupted by rests in-between and other more exciting events (and life-threatening ones) which made the entire thing bearable, but otherwise, it had been largely a dull existence.

  Luckily for Arsef — and his comrades — it was the last day, and they are being discharged and returned to civilian life. Hence, beside the unit — their bags and other belongings placed neatly on the field next to them.

  Arsef looked around his surroundings once more as they waited for the captain to arrive, he saw the familiar hexigonal walls of the camp with towers on each point. They were made of the same turesome stone bricks, and he could feel the radiating mana from them.Inside these walls, it was a large village comprising of storage depots, barracks, an armory, a hospital, and other military facilities, as one would expect. But for Arsef, it also brought many memories.Around them, there were musicians — drummers and hornists. Alongside the platform before the kingdom's dark-blue banner fluttered weakly in the breeze.

  Then before he could observe the camp further, his superior arrived finally. His arrival accompanied by the steady drums and deep sounds of the horns.The man was bald and sported a salt-and-pepper beard accompanied by wrinkles on his austere visage.With this, his age and experience spoke clearly through his appearance.

  He walked to the front of the unit with hands on his straightened back. Before the unit — is an elevated platform that made one visible to every attending soldier. He stopped, along with the music.

  Finally... He thought with a quiet sigh as the final act of formalities is at hand and he feels that the rest shared his sentiments. They had missed home.

  While having this thoughts, it was disrupted by a booming voice:

  "Soldiers! You all have done well. All of you showed skill and courage with almost no equal. Soldiers! When you came here, you can barely swing swords and cast spells in the heat battle. Now, you are soldiers whose strength and bravery is yet to be matched abroad. Out of the fifteen years training lots like you; you were some the best I have the pleasure of training. Be proud."

  Their captain clearly took some effort to write that speech, to some, it did sound genuine. To Arsef, he is now ambivalent since he had came out of obligation to follow the law. He wasn't sure if he desired to die for this country that forced him to do so.

  "But now.. you must leave, as the realm needs you elsewhere; to help our king run this land of ours. Whatever occupations you may have held back home, do them with the same vigor and energy that you had placed these past two years. As for me, I will continue my work and turned your fellow citizens into fighters that could never be matched.

  Hence! I Hereby, declare all of you — dismissed! Farewell!"

  The music picks up again, and the captain leaves. It felt rather hasty, but then again, this was followed by much formalities yesterday — perhaps that they were tired and just wanted to move on. Frankly, he does not blame them, he too wanted to move on and go back home.

  There was also not too much fanfare to the rotation between them and the newcomers — the next batch of trainees. They picked up their bags, and left the fort in an orderly manner through a raised iron gate. Then, the new batch entered while donning their civilian winter garments.

  Parked on the side of the well-traveled road, the former trainees found a line of wagons. They were made of wood but not shabbily made, in fact, the wood were smooth and the interior appeared smooth and varnished. It as also roofed with thick and rugged cloth with a wooden frame.

  The former trainees stopped caring for their formation and all quickly aboard eager to go home. The officers did not even ordered them so, but they deeply sympathized with the men and thus ignored. Furthermore, they were technically not on duty anymore, so there is that other reason.

  The men passed by him, he waited for the others to go aboard before him, until —

  "Arsef," As he was about climb unto one of the carriages, a woman's voice entered his ears.

  He raises an eyebrow as he turns his head to be greeted by familiar figure and face. Before him is a woman with a fair complexion with a faint smile on her face. Her eyes were blue like the sea, and her brown hair is tied into a crown braid. Much like everyone else, she wore a thick coat that hid much of her physique.

  Elerika...

  As he recalled — since they had been so busy with training, they had not talked much for the past 2 years since they were here. Their interactions for those years were mostly casual and transactional until the past few days where they finally told and shared stories to one another and discussed subjects deeply.

  "Can I sit with you?"

  "Sure, I don't mind" He shrugs, then he climbs unto the carriage, Elerika followed.

  After the driver checked that the vehicle is full, he began driving. They were at the tail end of the caravan of full of members of the military reserve.

  Arsef and Elerika sat on the end of the wagon side by side; the latter sat next to the wagon's rear.

  "So, why sit with me?" He turns his gaze and says directly.

  "Oh, yeah... about that, I wanted to ask for advice." She says somewhat bashfully, which made clear by her lack of eye contact.

  "Advice? What for?" He slightly raises his eyebrows in curiosity while observing Elerika staring down to the wagon's floor.

  "Well, back home, my father wants my occupation to be that of a tradesman, so I could succeed his position as the guildmaster for the merchants guild in Xxanna."

  "Qualyxxanna? I thought you lived in the far west in Triqoum?"

  "I do, but my father works there." She answered quickly.

  "Hm, I suppose it's easier to be a merchant down south than it is to the west. But why have you live so far away?"

  "I don't know, but he said schools are better there among other reasons he told me."

  "I see... is he adamant on you being a merchant?"

  "Yes, though I am on the opposite side regarding that." She frowns and slumped her shoulders. Her faint smile was now gone.

  He leans back and looks up to think about what he should say. Though, if he were honest, he really doesn't know how to answer. He isn't sure if he could give what she was looking for.

  "What do you want to do then?"

  "Well..." She scratches the side of her head with her index while holding an awkward smile of slight embarrassment.

  A case of literary theft: this tale is not rightfully on Amazon; if you see it, report the violation.

  "When I was a kid, I hear a lot of stories about people going on adventures and slaying monsters and whatever else involve adventuring. I really do not like the idea of being tied down to one or few laces my entire life.He might be content of a sedentary lifestyle, but I desire the opposite. I want to see the world that I have been reading about — not manage business.Plus, my skills would be better used there than the career that my father want me to take."

  Arsef looks to the floor as he listened, then answered with delay without changing his gaze:

  "I see... I surmise, you want to be an adventuring mage, and I assume that you are also going to go at it solo? That's a risky job, I can easily imagine that your father would be against that."

  "That is the crux of the matter," She replied promptly as if suddenly gaining energy, raised her body and then turns her gaze on Arsef. "We want utterly opposite things, and neither of us wants to back down. However..."

  She turns away her from him and gazes out to the wagon's open rear end as she rests her back. He looks there as well, and both saw the snowy landscape of the country side with the walls of the old camp being prominent.

  "He would probably will win anyway."

  "Why do you think that?"

  "He always gets what he wants. That is always had been the case ever since I was born. He forces me into things that only serves his interestsand wants." She spoke in a voice of a downtrodden woman.

  As Arsef listened to her words, he wonder if this is were the right place to talk about such things. Luckily, the others seemed occupied to their own conversations, reading or naps to be even focus in on them. Additionally, they were talking in somewhat in a low volume where one has to be close to hear both of them, which made the person next to him the only potential listener.

  Does she not have anyone to talk about this? He ponders, but quickly set it aside for a useful retort.

  "Frankly, I want to just say — 'Do what you want.' Although, I feel that is not the answer you are looking for. But, in my view, he may be your father, you certainly have every right to govern the direction of your life."

  "It's not that easy to assert my wishes over my father's though. I have this odd feeling that I just can't win here." She stares at the floor again as she replied.

  "Why? It is not like he could force you to do what he wants, unless he want to be charged with assault."

  "I doubt he will go that far though, "

  "If that's the case, why can't you snub his plans for you and do what you wished? I do not know the nature of your father's character, but what would he had done by the time you joined the adventurers guild?"

  "I had thought that, but he could also be waiting at Elyxn."

  "So there is a possibility of mitigating your ability to derail his plans and wishes?"

  She nods simply while her expression indicated her low-spirits.

  As Arsef mulled about her story, he began to wonder if he could even provide anything here. There was nothing. He could barely conjure solutions to his own intrapersonal concerns, let alone the concerns of others.

  There was now quite a bit silence between the two; Arsef mused about his reply and Elerika waited with patience — and slght unease — for his thought regarding the matter.

  "I... Can I Be honest?" He spoke with hesitance.

  "Hm?" The question was mystery to her, and curiously and anxiously replied: "Sure." And awaited his incoming words.

  "Listen, I really don't know what advice to give you here. At least, anything that that would be useful to you. I just don't have full view of the picture here. Even with a couple days " He told her frankly, but in his eyes, it was better than lying as he really doesn't want terrible events to come to her due to his misguided advice. Thus, he tried to convey this in an apologetic voice to the best of his abilities, although, he wasn't sure if that went across. That made him uneasy, but suppressed such feelings for now.

  "I see... I thought that you would have something, unlike every one else, guess I was wrong."

  There was slight pang that occurred within him as those words entered his ears. However, this was a fleeting thing, and quickly subsided as his personal nature and his habit of emotional suppression

  "Do you not have others to ask for advice?"

  "I did, through correspondence when we were still on bootcamp. They answered like you. Although, they weren't as forward of course, maybe that they are cautious about how I felt. But I don't know. Though at the same time..." Elerika's words fade, and to Arsef — it seemed she had stopped herself from uttering her last words. "Forget it." She ended her words and it felt extremely mysterious.

  The atmosphere between them became rather gloomy and brooding. To him, this was a surprise from her, even though that it shouldn't be. He had only known her well for a few days.

  Though while he was no unfamiliar to such feelings, it was not a pleasant thing to be experiencing. He looked around them, he found the others still tending to their own businesses. He wonder they had not yet felt this mood between them? He pondered how much this feeling is exclusive to him — perhaps Elerika might have felt similar things.

  He didn't know what to say here at this point. Should he comfort her? She is clearly experiencing some things in the moment that they are in.

  "I wonder," He began to speak, but the aura of both of them coalesced into something melancholic and pensive.

  "We had only know each other well for the past few days, don't you have Tara with you?"

  He vaguely remembers those times when he saw her somewhere after training, she would often frequent and socialise with one of his subordinates.

  "Hm, she doesn't know what to make of it either. She is cheerful, but her lack of hardships, or rather, her lack of recognition for such things is hard to.. handle..." with the amount pauses she made, it was clear that she wanted to like Tara, however her serious flaws as a friend shone and created conflicted feelings with Elerika.

  "Is there really no else you can turn to at the moment?"

  "Yeah... and not just now, you're really are the only one the I know. Yes, I know it had been only known eachother a few days, so were merely just acquaintance, but really, I have exhausted nearly all my options."

  I understand you, but... He wanted to utter those words, however, he guessed that these words may not be wise. But what else should he say here? He was at a loss, this is something that caught him off guard, he tried to adjust, but failed — in his mind, at least.

  "Sorry for suddenly pushing you here, by the way..."

  "No, pay it no mind, you at least got it out of you at least in some capacity. I can't really help, but I can listen if you need it."

  After a but if time passed after he said those last sentences, silenced reigned again, this had become a pattern in their conversations. To overthrow the silence, he asked:

  "So why do you want to be an adventurer exactly?"

  "Oh," Her eyes slightly widened, expressing surprise. "Well... I.."

  She had trouble getting words out, this was atypical experience for him. He thought — Is this how she really is?He wasn't sure, but he wanted to be above making assumptions without clear evidence.

  "I want to get away." She found her words, though she said it in a quiet tone. "There many things I hate here. Living here is comfortable I admit, but it is repetitive when living here. Maybe, by adventuring.. I could fix that problem. Too many things eating away at my mind here."

  "You are not there to see the world like the others? I heard fragmented stories about solo adventuring mages. When it came to their origins, it seemed out of curiosity for the world outside the north. They likely may have been attracted by wealth also."

  "You could say I have many reasons, not just what I said."

  He had never realized it before, but she seemed out of energy; lethargy caused by the subject she had brought to herself.

  "What about you then? What would you do after this? I have told you a tast of my struggles, I'm sure you have one yourself."

  "I do..." He reluctantly answers.

  "Then, tell me, I want this to be conversation to be fair." She turns to him their gazes meet, though it didn't last long abd Arsef began thinking of his reply. He took awhile, and he felt like Elerika was silently pressuring him to answer. However, the could also be his clouded perception at work.

  He understood what she meant, she had dumped a serious bit of her life story out of nowhere, and now he had to pay. Granted, he wasn't aware of the cost nor what he was buying, but it felt rude to refuse. Also it felt like an odd but fair trade, so he was somewhat eager to return the favor.

  "I - I don't know. You see, I am... at a loss at the moment. When I came here, I was apprenticed at one of the enchanting guilds at Elyxn. I was planning to have a career enchanter, after seeing my abilities here, I am a bit torn on what to do. Should I pursue a career that I was long preparing for, or should I switch my career now."

  "You plan to join one of the adventurers guilds?" She asked curiously.

  "Too risky," He replied promptly. "And now I don't really care adventuring and exploring the world, not that I cared for much money either. Then, I realized something... I don't seem to enjoy much things. I work simply because they had a tangible purpose and convenience."

  "You never enjoyed anything before."

  "At least as far as I could remember, I was so focused on the future that I had neglected my past and present until I arrived here for training. I never thought of this much initially, I had thought that this is a process that I had to go through to get my job I wanted."

  "Why did you want to be an enchanter then if you don't get any satisfaction from it?"

  "Convenience, that is it really. The opportunity was there for me, easy to reach, so I grabbed it. But now that I compared my abilities between combat and enchanting, it was night and day."

  "Yeah, you were probably out of all of us when it came to fighting, nobody really even came close to you. You did slay some powerful monsters and animals during hunting."

  "Yes, that is why, I don't know what to do. Not only that I am focusing on the present, now I felt like just completely neglected my current self. When I look back I just felt... guilty. At myself for such an act. Otherwise, I wouldn't be as awful like I am today.

  I did not care much for it that it is practically began rotting on the inside. I am trying to keep it alive for these past two years, but that had been difficult and I didn't know how to.

  So, same with you, I was gonna ask an old friend of mine for advice once I get home to Elyxn." Arsef smiled faintly.

  "Old friend?"

  "Indeed, we knew eachother since childhood. Went to school together until we became apprenticed in our own desired fields — he apparently took interest in alchemy. So there were long periods of no interaction from eachother as were both focused on our studies."

  "What about parents? You wouldn't see them after the trip?"

  "No. Like you, I have my own troubles with them."

  "Oh, mow I see why you were a downcast most days during boot camp." She said with her faint smile returned. He hoped that she was smiling as it satisfied her curiosity not because of his internal state itself. Though, he was certain it was the latter.

  Regardless, looking back at his time during training, he barely made friends there.

  He certainly felt camaraderie with others, but it was nothing too deep as he would've liked. While he is certainly best performing trainee there, he wasn't sure to be proud of that or not. Throughout that time he felt rather miserable, and he tried to hide his headaches and other illnesses on certain part of his body. So far, he had been successful. Although, he wasn't sure how long that would last. His internal and invisible affliction can only be cured temporarily by simple healing spells that he knew of.

  Observing his surroundings carefully and his past, he felt like he was surrounded by nothing but empty abyss. He does not know he hadn't realized that before. He wondered hat he should do now...He never wanted to do the original career he was going for now, but is that really his only chance? Maybe, perhaps he should pursue adventuring after all? His talents would certainly find good use there, although, he didn't like the risk...

  I'm really lost...