Ugh… I couldn’t decide whether to be embarrassed for her or impressed by her ridiculous determination. Whatever. I was more curious about the limits of her powers.

  I asked, “Can you only transform into living things?”

  She shook her head. “Of course not.”

  Glancing at her legendary card, she added, “There are three categories of transformations: the object path, element path, and organism path.”

  Transformation, huh? I guess shapeshifting and that was closely tied.

  Hessien rubbed his chin. “For objects… could you turn into a toilet?”

  She answered instantly, “You could kill yourself.”

  “Oh, wow. You were the one threatening to piss on me.”

  She turned to him with a grin. “You want me to piss on you?”

  Hessien raised his fist, mock-threatening. “I will kill you in your sleep if you do.”

  “Yeah, yeah. Keep pissing me off, and we’ll see.”

  Ghomas butted in. "Why the hell are you making piss threats?”

  “It gets Hessien off my case, so clearly, it works.”

  She had a point.

  Hessien just shrugged.

  Vacinay looked at her card again. “Oh. Technically, I have six other available skills because of those paths. Hah.” She smirked.

  Two skills for each path.

  I hated that I’d picked a powerful skill card only to realize it’d take forever to unlock even one ability.

  Glancing at my own card, I wondered if there was some kind of upgrade system. Since I didn’t have a skill yet, I couldn’t check.

  I turned to Hessien. “Can you level up your skill?”

  He looked at his card and nodded. “Yeah, but it costs the same as what I originally paid for it.”

  Huh… I pulled up the system menu and searched for a manual. Not that I expected one, but hey, worth a shot.

  And bam—I found one.

  Focusing on it opened a long tab full of sections and chapters. It covered only skills and reality defender related stuff. No world info, no politics, no geography.

  Skills could be leveled up, but the only change was a boost in power and effectiveness. No crazy evolutions.

  Disappointing…

  Hessien stretched his arms. “So what now?”

  “Not much. We should check out the city later.” I yawned, feeling the exhaustion settle in.

  “Nice.” Vacinay gave me a thumbs-up before flopping onto Hessien’s thighs, using them as a pillow.

  Hessien sighed and laid back on the carpeted floor.

  Were they serious? There was a literal bed right there.

  I pointed at it. “You do see the bed, right?”

  Hessien responded, “Yeah, but it is what it is.”

  “That’s dumb.”

  “I know.”

  Whatever. I grabbed a pillow and settled at the foot of the bed. Sleep came fast.

  Four hours later.

  What the…

  I needed to pee.

  I groggily rolled off the bed, forgetting I was at the edge. I hit the floor with a light thud.

  Ouch. That definitely rattled my brain a bit.

  A dim glow pulsed from the ceiling. Did the light snakes adjust based on how many people were asleep?

  Unauthorized use: this story is on Amazon without permission from the author. Report any sightings.

  Ignoring that, I got up and headed for the door. Vacinay had somehow ended up using Hessien’s stomach as a pillow, snoring, “Gourrr...”

  Best friends, my ass. I wondered how long it’d take for them to start fucking.

  Hessien had a girlfriend back on Earth, but since we got summoned here, he hadn’t mentioned her once. Not a single sign of concern for Earth, either.

  I knew he and the others were excited about coming to another world, but I thought he would be concerned about her at least; Aja.

  It wasn’t like his relationship was bad… right?

  His girlfriend used to say, “I don’t like how Vacinay hangs around you.”

  And his usual response? “What're you talking about?”

  “I don’t like how touchy she gets with you—it makes me uncomfortable.”

  "You're bugging."

  Hmmm. Maybe their relationship wasn’t all that great.

  Still, he stayed with her. Any time we went on trips, she never came unless Vacinay couldn’t make it.

  Oh well. Maybe he missed her and his family but just wasn’t saying anything?

  I glanced at him. He was snoring peacefully, making dumb faces in his sleep.

  Yeah… no. He probably didn’t care.

  She’d even threatened to kill herself if he ever left her. No joke.

  And his response? “Oh.”

  That was it. No follow-up, no argument. He just showed up at my house afterward and played chess like nothing happened.

  Now that I thought about it… yeah, their relationship was horrible.

  I opened the door and stepped into the wide hallway. The ceiling lights brightened the moment I left the room.

  Time to find the bathroom.

  It would’ve been real nice if the doors had labels.

  I opened the nearest door—bedroom.

  The next—empty.

  The one after that? Also empty.

  Empty.

  Empty.

  ...

  What the hell was this?! Where was the goddamn bathroom? Was this some kind of sick joke? I really needed to pee! No way in hell was I pissing myself.

  Wait… what if they didn’t even have toilets here? I refused—absolutely refused—to dig a hole in the dirt like some wild animal.

  Damn it! Nothing!

  Then, in the distance—

  "Screee…"

  What the hell? The eerie sound echoed from afar.

  I rushed back into the bedroom and shook Hessien awake.

  With a groggy, annoyed scowl, he barked, “What the hell do you want?”

  “Bathroom,” I said.

  “What?”

  “I need to find the bathroom.”

  He stared at me, utterly baffled. “You woke me up for that?”

  “Well, not just that—I heard something weird. Like, some kind of creepy snake sound.”

  He groaned in frustration. “Then why didn’t you wake Ghomas? He’s the one who isn’t scared of snakes.”

  Damn, he had a point. But I countered, “Because you’re you. Now get up already!”

  With a dramatic sigh, he let his head thud back onto the carpet floor. A few moments later, he begrudgingly nudged Vacinay’s head aside and stood up.

  “Let’s go, pussy,” he lightly jabbed me.

  “Fuck you.”

  He arched a brow. “Uh-huh.”

  Hessien strolled down the hallway, and I followed close behind.

  “Scree…”

  He stopped dead in his tracks and turned to me. “You heard that too?”

  I nodded. “Yeah.”

  Crossing his arms, he muttered, “Shit. I am hoping this place isn’t cursed.”

  Me too! The last thing I needed was some haunted hellhole filled with ghosts.

  He crouched low against the wall. “Alright. Stick to my back so we can cover each other’s sides.”

  I did as he said.

  We shuffled forward awkwardly, moving like sideways crabs. No more sounds. Door after door, we searched. After passing ten doors, we finally found a golden one.

  Pushing it open, we were met with another door, and it turned out a bathroom was hidden behind it.

  It even had a shower—though the walls surrounding it were weirdly high. It looked like a hybrid between a shower and a tub.

  Then I saw it. The "toilet."

  Or at least, something trying to pass as one. It was just a cylindrical metal with no seat whatsoever.

  Was I supposed to squat over it? What kind of backward-ass country was this?

  Whatever. I had no choice.

  I dismissed Hessein, and told him to close the door.

  As Hessien left the bathroom, I also told him, “Oi. Wait for me outside.”

  He gave a lazy nod. “Yeah, yeah… hurry up. My stomach’s not feeling great either.”

  Great.

  I stepped toward the toilet, ready to pull down my underwear—

  “Screee…”

  I froze.

  That sound… it was coming from inside the toilet.

  What the hell…?

  Cautiously, I leaned over, craning my neck to get a better look at what was in that toilet.

  And then I saw it.

  ...

  A massive, wet, writhing, red tongue.

  What the hell was that? I wondered.

  WAS THIS SOME KIND OF SICK JOKE?! THIS WASN’T FUNNY—THIS WAS A DAMN CRIME!

  I launched myself at the door, yanking it open with full force.

  Hessien noticed my panic. “What? What happened?”

  Panting, I pointed at the bathroom wildly. “There! There’s some freaky thing! I—”

  He placed a firm hand on my shoulder, his gaze dark with understanding.

  “You don’t have to say any more.”

  Wait, what?

  His expression softened with what could only be described as compassion. “I’ll make sure they pay.”

  “…What?”

  Before I could explain, he stormed into the bathroom.

  “Alright, you bastard! Come out! I’m gonna beat you to a pulp!”

  He searched every corner like a man on a mission.

  I respected the bravery and all, but seriously, he should’ve let me finish explaining.

  “Oi, Hessien—there’s no one hiding in there! It’s in the toilet!”

  He paused, his face twisting in confusion before shifting to pure irritation.

  “What, did the smell of your own piss fry your brain?” He sniffed the air. “There’s nothing there, and now I need to take a shit.”

  Oh, hell no. “No, no, no! There’s a monster in there! In the toilet.”

  He just laughed, kicking the door shut in my face. “What, you took a monster shit? Why the hell would you tell me that?!”

  Damn him!

  “I’m serious!”

  I dropped my pants to my ankles, ignoring her frantic yelling.

  “I’m serious! A giant tongue!”

  The hell kind of weird new reference was that? No way was I falling for one of her tricks again. She pulled that crap all the time when we were younger.

  I stood over the cylindrical toilet and took a dump of the century.

  ...

  Ahh… finally, sweet relief.

  Then—

  Splash.

  …Huh.

  Why did my ass just get splashed?

  “Spreee!”

  WHAT THE FUCK?!

  A jet of warm, slimy liquid shot up at me!

  I launched myself forward, scrambling away. The slick, saliva-like goo dripped off me.

  No, no, NO!

  ...

  She was telling the truth!

  I bursted out of the bathroom, wild-eyed and panicked.

  “There’s a damn sexual predator in the toilet!”