The rest of the day was thankfully retively quiet. Carmil seemed to realize that making me weak in my knees was terproductive to the goal of tinuing to walk long distance. We spoke occasionally, but it was about the surroundings for the most part. She had little information about the world to share with me as she’d spent more than two hundred years bound and fractured and a tury or so before that existing as something that didn’t really pay much attention to the matters of mortals. She didn’t have much life experience as she uood it now and mine was trapped under an incredibly powerful mental status effect. So we talked about flowers we found pretty, birds with lovely songs, a cloud that looked like a sheep. Nothing of depth but it was a nice versation to have.

  By the time the sun started to dip below the horizon I was feeling the strain of both my injuries and the long march. “I really need a bed.” I muttered to myself.

  “You need more than sleep, love. I’m sorry but if you think you keep going I would suggest marg through the night.” the tone in her words was worried. “How is your health looking?”

  I g it “One oh eight of two forty.” I answered, then just as an aside “Oh hey, my Mana is finally at ten, I actually use Soothe now.”

  “What?”

  “Soothe, it’s my only-”

  “No, your Mana Pool is only at ten points? You haven’t been using any spells have you? Is your Willpower particurly low?”

  “Uh, no? No spell casting, I woke up in the armored transport with my Mana Pool pletely empty and it’s just been tig up since. As for my Willpower, it’s my highest Attribute, twenty seven. Why?” I asked, trying to ighe urge to worry about something more.

  “Esme, you should be geing twice your Willpower in Mana an hour. You should have been full ho.” She spoke, warmth and worry eg in my ears. “I’ll take a closer look, see if I figure out what’s happening. Please, just keep walking, love.” She was trying to maintain calm in her voice, but I seemed to have a good sense for that stuff. Maybe while I was a whore I had to get used to reading ts?

  I kept walking. “Hey, not to distract you, but should I down another infusion? I have several reds left. On that note, if red is for physical injury and yellow is for iions, what are the blue ones for? Mana?”

  “You have blue infusions!? Pull o immediately!” she sounded as if she was leaning over my shoulder, practically yelling in my ear.

  I stopped and pulled off my pack, digging out the med kit arieving one of the blue beled vials. “Okay, I should drink this then?”

  “No. You don’t o drink them ever again, open the vial and pour it over the runes on your left arm. This is going to look odd but I promise you will not be harmed, love.”

  I felt too tired to worry and did as I asked. The liquid hit my skin and the runes lit red, I saw my blood seep up from them instantly and reach for the infusion. The blue vanished, apparently drawn into me through what I assumed was Carmil reag outside my body.

  “Okay that was- WOAH!” I felt my eyes fsh open as the fatigue left me entirely. I felt like I’d gotten a full night’s sleep and could go another day without rest. “Not Mana then?” I said with a ugh.

  “No, Mana infusions are as I uand it, difficult to make, or rare for some other reason. I’ve only entered five in the turies I spent in those bands, and thousands of the red yellow and blue. No, blue is a stimunt. Pain and fatigue are removed for several hours with an iion.” As good as the news was for my situation, I couldn’t help but notice her voice was low, hesitant, worried.

  “… there are side effects, aren’t there? Bad ones.”

  “It potable strain on your body, it is also addictive. It’s supposed to be for emergencies only, but I was vaguely aware of what I assume was a bck market trading it among soldiers. I ’t say I am surprised sidering the state of many of those I diagnosed in bat situations. Feeling like you’re actually rested after weeks or months of sleep deprivation and watg your friends get killed has to be damned near ambrosia for many. Even if it cause yans to fail from overuse, or just from use while in particurly bad physical dition.”

  “But my situation is bad enough that I o keep moving. It’s a bigger risk to rest.” It wasn’t a question, it was truth ah k.

  “I’m sorry, love. I wish I could do more.” I wao hold her hand. The feeling rushed through me suddenly. I shook it off. She didn’t have a hand to hold and dwelling on it was going to make me feel worse.

  “Hey, I’ll be okay. You said so yourself. Oh, you do that with a red and yellow? They work better directly into the blood stream, right?”

  “The red will certainly help, but the yellow will… no, it won’t fix the iion but it might slow the spread. Give them to me.” She said with vi in her voice. It was f to hear her sure of something.

  I poured the two additional vials onto the runes and watched with some fasation as Carmil drew the fluid into me again. I felt the boost to my vitality far more potently and checked my health, whistling at the increase [HP: 208/240]. So drinking cuts the effe half, good to know.

  With that I pulled out a ration tin that I set to emptying quickly, stuffing the slightly stale nut and berry filled bread stuff into my face as quickly as I could and then washing it down befetting my pa again and starting down the road with renewed vigor. Also renewed fear.

  Much of the rest of my march is difficult to remember. I know I was attacked again by two more carrion feeders. But I saw them ing from far enough away that I mao down them before they could reach me. Carmil had to remio reload my rifle. That was the first sign of things degrading.

  I used five more blues, three more reds, and one more yellow. I don’t know how I remember that, I don’t remember using them. But I know the numbers, I’m sure of it.

  Carmil talked to me a lot, her voice is so pretty. I don’t remember what she said.

  The sun rose and fell a few times. My leg ached more, but then it didn’t hurt too bad anymore. Carmil was worried about that. I knew why. I didn’t have long. At some point my health started dropping faster and I was getting tired quicker. I was getting cold, but some part of me told me it was warm out, maybe even a bit hot. Was it summer there?

  I remember ohing though.

  “Love? When we make it, I want to go to a city. I want you to take me to a nice cafe. I heard about them from some of the soldiers talking. I want tea and pastries and I want you to give me flowers.”

  “Th-that sounds really.. really nice. I’ll t-take you to, to a … a flowers cafe. Get you some tea, w-we go dang.” I wasn’t tired, the blue stuff kept me going. But it’s like part of me that kept my mind going was failing. Like half my mind was falling asleep on me.

  “Do you promise?” I couldn’t see her face, didn’t know if she had one in any way that I could uand. But I could hear her g. e on, please don’t cry for me. A coward like me doesn’t deserve it. I let others fight and die while I hid in a noble’s bed.

  “Yeah, prom-… promise. We’ll have a l-love… a lovely date.”

  But after that was more broken moments of half sarg.

  But eventually, I saw it. A building on the side of the road. No, a wall, and I could see the tops of several buildings peeking over it. I realized it was a military structure, a fort! “H-hey, I see a.. a thing!”

  “Esme! Yes, just a bit further, love! You did it! I told you, I told you!” the joy in her words nearly drowhe tears. We both k might be too te anyway, if the iion made it’s way too far into my body then even proper treatment wouldn’t have much of a ce of saving me. But I wasn’t going to give up with help literally in sight.

  I picked up my patil I nearly fell with every step. Once I was closer I started yelling as best I could “Heeey! H-help! I need help! Please!” fighting the urge to fall and cry as I moved. I still held out hope that I would live through this.

  Until I got closer anyway. I saw people on the wall, people in gray and purple uniforms aiming guns at me and yelling in a nguage I didn’t uand.

  I fell forward and just y in the dirt, tears streaming down my face. “Sorry. D-don’t think I’ll be able.. to keep my promise.”

  I heard someone ing closer, still yelling in that nguage. I looked up to see him kick my rifle away from me. Someone else ran up, a tall woman with red bars on her pel, an officer. She barked at the man, sounding angry before she shoved him aside and walked over to me.

  She spoke with some heavy at, but it was nice. Like silk or honey. “Who are you, Pitrak dog? What are you doing here?”

  I choked back a bitter ugh “Esme, I’m d-dying. Iion in.. in my leg. Days w-with no sleep. If yonna k-kill me could you.. could you do it quickly?”

  There ause and she moved to pull the torn fps of my pants leg to look at my injury. I don’t kly what was said, fn nguage and all. But I know swearing when I hear it. Then she yelled something back towards the buildings.

  The man argued with her I think but she yelled something and he grew silent. She turned bae “We will treat you, Pitrak dog. You will then answer many questions for us. Is this good deal?”

  I nodded “If I live, I’ll tell you.. t-tell you everything I know. I s-swear it.”

  She narrowed her eyes but seemed to accept what I said. As she stood, more soldiers came running out carrying somethiween them. Wait, no, they had red butterflies on their uniforms as. Medics. Well, at least I’d be looked at before they tossed me into a cell.

  The medijected me with something and I suddenly felt like I was drifting on a river, the world just zily moving past me and the lights turning all kinds of funny colors. Thehing was quiet.

  I had… I don’t think they were nightmares, but they weren’t fun. Faceless people staring at me, ay, emotionless voice asking me who I was. A figure I somehow knew was my mother, but I couldn’t make out any part of her or remember her name. She was g and saying I ruined her life.

  You know what, fuck what I said earlier, they were totally nightmares. When I woke up, the world swayed slightly. “Carmil?” I mao groan out weakly.

  “Here.. gods. That stuff was strong, it isn’t supposed to affect me and I felt it anyway. How are you, love?” she sounded groggy, so we were in the same boat at least.

  “Dun.” I looked around. Medical facility, I was on a irely unfortable bed with a shogly fortable b and pillow. There wasn’t mu the small room, a small, high window that was letting in meager light. I figured it was either dawn or dusk. There was a door on the opposite wall, a window with bars in it. Better than a dank hole in a dungeon at least. “Hello?” I called out and saw someone look into the room.

  There were doctors and soldiers in the room soon enough and I got examined by a young man that seemed to know about five words in… whatever the name of my nguage was. But mostly I remember the b being lifted and seeing less of me than I would have liked.

  The officer was in there at that point and must have seen the look on my face. “Iion was treatable, you will live. But leg around the wound was dead, rotting. Had to remove it. I am sorry.” I wao try and see if I could tell how sorry she really was, but holy, seeing my leg end just under my knee was a bit too distrag. I shook irying to hold it together as she tinued. “Doctor also says you have… ehh, pressure, damage to heart. Used to many blue. Need much rest, treatment, keep eye on you in case of… what is the word, need more of something and feel sick from it?”

  “Withdrawal.” I said, choking down a sob.

  “I will remember this word, thank you. You will be treated, you will rest, you will have person nearby to help if you need. Once you are well, you will answer questions. As you swore.”

  I simply nodded. I imagined she was going to be angry when she realized I didn’t know anything. But hey, I was alive and mostly intact. I just wished I felt as lucky as I knew intellectually I actually was.