“How did that work?” asked Greg, eyeing the pile of corpses that covered Dick’s ditch. “No, seriously, how did that work?”

  Dick put his hands on his waist and flashed a shy smile. “It’s all in the wrist.”

  “I… I don’t…. What? No, y’know what? Nevermind. I don’t even want to think about how such a stupid plan worked so flawlessly. I don’t want to think about how you’re gaining more levels than if we’d cleared that dungeon under the 3x multiplier. So let’s just ignore all that and look at your gains. You crossed NGU 10, yeah?”

  “Sure did. Man, this much number go up can’t be healthy, can it? It’s like, too much of a good thing,” Dick said, bringing up the oversized status screen that filled his entire vision.

  “If there are side effects to leveling, I sure haven’t heard of it. Alright, let’s see what classes you’ve got. You dig?”

  “I dig,” Dick replied with a nod.

  “Awwww yeah. Time to work my magic,” Greg exclaimed, chanting the magic verse. Cartoon theme music blared to accompany the event. “By our powers combined, we are CAPTAIN AMERICA!”

  Golden laser beams shot out of Greg’s eyes onto Dick’s status screen, turning it golden. The text changed. At the top were the words Gregorio Gregarious Gregorix MVIII’s Item Shop! (And Class Selection)

  “Okay, let’s see what you’ve got. Most people get a choice of a two or three classes, but if you’re lucky, you might even—FIVE HUNDRED SEVENTY FOUR!?”

  “Dang, that’s a lotta class,” Dick said, scrolling through them all. Many were common, but the mythic and legendary classes sounded quite impressive.

  “There sure are a lot of classes with ‘born’ in the name. It’s like a fad or something. Also, what’s with some of these? Is [Loser] really a class? And is that Legendary class really named [Class]?”

  “Now, Dick, listen closely. This isn’t normal. God must have messed up and given you the entire list. Like, what kind of god gives people his own class!? But that’s a great thing! Incredible, in fact. Let’s take our time and choose carefully, alright? With the right class, you could be a living god. But some classes are utterly worthless, so we’ll want to avoid those.”

  “That right?” Dick replied, only half-listening. His eyes had glazed over after scrolling through so many options.

  “Class selection is important, Dick. You can’t change your class until you get to level 100, so it’s a big decision. And even at level 100, it’s usually better to evolve your class than pick a new one. And you see that rarity indicator? That’s really important. The more rare a class is, the more EXP it takes to level. But the rewards are usually much better.”

  “Why’s this shit so complicated, anyway?”

  “Well, some people—me included—like gaming the system. Because if you choose right, you can get classes that are incredibly powerful even at level 1. Take [Ashborn Primordial] for example. That basically turns you into a demigod. Nearly invincible. Hard to level, but you’re already so strong at level 1, it kinda doesn’t matter.”

  “What about this [Demonic Tree] one?” Dick asked.

  “Ahh you don’t want that one. It literally turns you into a tree. You can’t walk or talk. Boring af if you ask me. Same with [God]. Sounds good, but the paperwork… Oh god, the paperwork.”

  “[Arcane Emperor]?”

  “Great story, but the author went on hiatus.”

  “What?” Dick asked.

  “Dick, I have to say, I’m kinda amazed you’re this interested in all the classes. It’s kinda refreshing,” Greg said, in an attempt at misdirection so bad, it couldn't fool anyone.

  “Oh, that’s cuz I already chose my class,” Dick replied.

  Greg froze and his face warped into one of horror as he gazed at Dick’s updated status screen.

  Sure enough, he had picked a class. A [Common] class. One that Greg had never even seen before.

  “Shit. I’m likin’ this already.”