Chapter 6. I Want to Make You Bleed

  -Ai Suzuki-

  I left the stall, and then the washroom first, telling Naomi to wait a few minutes before coming out. That seemed to be enough, though, to avoid raising suspicion. Or, at least, I'd hope so. Things had gotten a bit weird and unpnned once we'd gotten in that stall, maybe I'd gotten a bit too carried away...

  The power trip that came with her completely losing control of herself the moment I kissed her was incredible. Aah, and I think I have a new face I like to see from her. I don't think anything will beat the expression that comes with her sobbing her eyes out, maybe even after vomiting or something, but with her looking so completely... mindlessly vulgar, it was certainly something. Truly, she looked so filthy, I bet she's beating herself up over it as we speak. It makes me wonder just what else would ruin her dignified facade, other than me in general.

  I'm a bit confused when I get back to the booth that Miyu so annoyingly jumped into. There's an individual missing, one that I just so happened to be extremely conscious of tely.

  "Hm? Where's Maki-san?" I voice, staring at the spot she once sat in.

  Nana was the one to reply, leaning back in the seat as she took a sip of her drink, "Said she had to leave, or something." She paused for a moment, "You didn't see her say goodbye to Kobayashi?"

  What.

  "Ah... I didn't," I try to hide my reaction, and I think I barely succeed.

  Didn't see her? So she went to the washrooms first? I didn't hear anybody enter, I'm sure. There may not be a door blocking the way, but I would have heard the footsteps, I have a great sense of hearing. Why didn't she go, then? No, what if I really didn't hear her? Did she see something? Or, god forbid, hear something. Naomi was a bit loud, after all, but I'm sure it wouldn't be loud enough to escape the confines of the washroom. It was muffled, too, there's no way.

  Calm down. Maybe she just didn't see anybody after peeking inside and decided to just leave. Stop worrying about it, it's not good for your skin. There's no actual evidence that she saw anything at all. She knows nothing.

  I need to get going too. I'm too stressed to keep up my image.

  After coming up with some excuse of my own, I decide to head straight home. That'd help for the time being. And so I'd finally rex, and take a breather, waiting for Friday to pass quickly. Then I could just hurry up and enjoy my time with Naomi.

  But, I can't calm down. Sitting on my desk chair, bouncing my leg up and down, I struggle to keep myself from biting my nails. The polish is hard, but even that may shatter if I don't calm down soon.

  No, I can't calm down. Not now, not with what happened. Kanako Maki. What the hell did that bitch notice? Did she see us both in the same stall? God, no matter how you look at it, this looks suspicious! Really, really fucking suspicious! I can't believe I did that to Naomi! No– I can't believe she just let me do it! That was so stupid– So fucking risky! What was she thinking?! And right after I told her to start being more careful!

  What if she tells somebody? At the very least, it'd look like Naomi and I have some sort of weird, sexual retionship, which we most certainly do not. I just wanted to see how she'd react, I don't even like kissing her! I'm not some freak like other people, those creeps who want to do such lecherous things, not even close. But, now, she'll probably mistake us for secretly being a couple! I think I'd even prefer her to know what I actually do to her.

  Ugh, what am I thinking? That'd be far worse. Homosexuality is far more accepted as of te, especially in the younger generations, not that I am a lesbian or something like that. I'm not attracted to women or men, that's disgusting. Still, people would generally not be too weirded out by me and Naomi being a thing, while if they knew my actual urges, I would be a complete social outcast.

  Best case, nobody thinks either is a possibility and I keep my perfect image. That's what I need to ensure, at least.

  Calm. I'm calm.

  Nothing has even happened. It's most likely that she'll never say a thing, keeping it to herself. She may be sociable, but she doesn't seem to be a gossip. And, she likes Naomi, doesn't she? She wouldn't want to ruin her reputation like that.

  Alright. I'll go see Naomi tomorrow, and then stop seeing her for a while to avoid any close calls like that from happening. Once Maki forgets anything she may have seen, I'll be able to have fun with Naomi like normal. It might be a small, short dey, but I'll be fine.

  In fact, it might even be fun to ghost her for a while. I'll stop answering her texts, maybe even leaving a few on read to make sure she knows I'm ignoring her, and watch how desperate she'll get for me to talk to her. Maybe she'll even try and call me, something she almost never has the confidence to do. Though she hates speaking on the phone, I wonder what she would say to me if I did answer. She'll be begging, I'm sure, or at the very least nearly sobbing her eyes out as she pleads for me to meet her once more. She'll be absolutely horrified by the possibility of me abandoning her for good...

  Oh, I like this. Now, I'm looking forward to it. Just the thought of making her feel even more awful than she already is when she truly believes I'm done with her is insanely exciting. Just to watch her spiral and breakdown is... God, it's fucking euphoric. Even better, she'll have time to go over everything she did wrong and hate herself for it while I come up with all the ways I can make her suffer the next time I see her. Besides, we have the entire summer vacation after, and I'll have so many things to do to her...

  Aah, I'm excited already. Even better, I have an idea for what I'll do to her tomorrow already prepared. It'll definitely make her ashamed and grossed out by herself, a step closer to breaking her completely. No more kissing her, though. She's gonna get too used to that, and considering she definitely enjoys it, I need to keep it to a minimum. That trick is to be used exclusively in-between making her suffer to keep her on the edge. To keep her dependent.

  I'd love to just have her to myself 24/7. I think about the idea of renting an apartment and living there with her, never letting her leave as I do whatever I want with her whenever I want. I could subject her to things all day, maybe even when I'm not there. It'd be fun to tie her up and then leave for work or university, only untying her when I get back. She'd definitely start breaking out in tears at the sight of me, sobbing and begging to let her out, telling me about how much her wrists hurt and how hungry and thirsty she is. I'd tease her for a while before finally giving her the relief she so desperately wants...

  God... tomorrow can't come soon enough.

  -Kanako Maki-

  I'm not a bad person. I'm just... curious.

  I'm certainly not a stalker either, even if what I'm doing is certainly invasive. I mean, sure, I may be waiting nearby Kobayashi-san's house to see if a certain brown haired perfect student will go see her. What's wrong with that? I-I'm just curious!

  Okay, maybe I'm being a slightly bad person, but I really need to know what's going on between them. After what I saw, with just barely the silhouette of two different people in one stall... How could I not want to know more? I mean, Kobayashi-san is *The* model student, and Suzuki-san? Everyone knows she's strangely perfect. In grades, she's second only to Kobayashi-san, and in terms of likeability, many people think she's the cutest person in our grade, if not school. To see them, the most unlikely of people, to be alone in a small bathroom stall... And then there's what they said...

  Let's go back in time for a moment.

  It's kind of convenient, but after Suzuki-san left to go to the bathroom as well, I kinda had to as well. But, as I was about to enter, I heard something quiet...

  "...... it was like I was in a movie or something."

  It wasn't the voice of Kobayashi-san, I know that. And, I knew I heard it before, and there was only one other person who went into there before... The Cafe was pretty empty, too, so I doubted it was some strangers...

  Next to talk was Kobayashi-san.

  "... I was thi-thinking the same t-thing..." She stuttered a tad, which was certainly strange to hear from someone like her. Then, there was the fact I heard some sort of sniffle or shaky breath, as if she was... crying, maybe.

  Then, what surprised me the most...

  "Aah... You're way too cute."

  Having entered a bit more at that point, I heard it loud and clear. A voice that belonged to Ai Suzuki for sure, and she was calling her cute...?

  Immediately upon hearing what happened next, I leaned up against the wall and quieted my breathing. Those... noises, they were some sort of quiet smacks and mixed hums, not to mention the gasps and whimper-like sighs...

  Ai Suzuki, the perfect popur girl of my high school, was making out with Naomi Kobayashi, the Student Council President. How in the world was I supposed to react to that? Was I supposed to react at all? I was frozen in pce at that moment, listening to the two of them, and the vaguely erotic noises I had never once heard before then. My heart was beating practically a million miles an hour, and it wasn't just because it was the first time I was hearing this kind of thing.

  It was like I was in a story or something. My mind was going completely haywire, I couldn't think straight for even a second. However, it definitely wasn't because of jealousy. I felt happy, excited, and above all, curious. About the two people who I would have never expected to even associate with one another in the first pce...

  That must have been nice. Maybe stressful to have to hide their retionship, but, if they could be happy, I'd be rooting for them the whole way! If only they didn't have to be scared to be open about their retionship... Ah, it's so sad... The world is cruel.

  The scene eventually ended, but not before I could clearly hear a quiet sigh of absolute etion from the two of them, before Suzuki-san spoke once more, "... Naomi-chan." She began with, a tone that was filled with love unparalleled. "You look really dirty right now."

  She did!? That's the first thing that crossed my mind, and I suddenly very much wanted to see what Kobayashi-san looked like at that moment. Not in a creepy way or something, I was just curious!

  ... But, then, I heard it. Something I was just barely able to make out of Suzuki-san's voice once more.

  "Hey, are you wet?"

  Ah... r-right. They're a couple, right? So, they'd talk about stuff like that too... T-that's a valid question to ask... maybe? It's not like I've been in a retionship, so I'm not exactly educated on the manner. But, were they really gonna do it... there?

  I was way too scared to stay and find out the answer. As quietly as I could, I left the bathroom corridor and said goodbye to the two others I met. Then, I headed straight home to sleep!

  So, here we are, the next day. I'm here to see if maybe they'll see each other again today. I really am just curious though. I-I mean, Kobayashi-san and I are friends now, right? It only makes sense for me to worry about her! Though I'm sure they're completely fine, they seemed loving from what I heard.

  Trying to get comfy in the shade of some nearby trees, I sit myself down in a position I can see a decent amount of things that may occur. A window view into the living room, and one into Kobayashi-san's room. Then, I can also see the door, to check if she goes out. Or... for Suzuki-san to go in. That's a possibility.

  And then an hour goes by.

  ... I'm really bored.

  Kobayashi-san has just been sitting around in her pajamas and hasn't gotten up much. She's mostly looking at her phone, hopefully messaging Suzuki-san... Ah, And, if she does move, she usually goes to the kitchen for an apple or something, and then a few times to the bathroom.

  Yeah, now I just feel creepy. I'm watching a high school girl spend a zy day at home, all alone... I'm gonna go home.

  That is before I see a certain figure out of the corner of my eye! I turn and look at them. A girl who was quite short, thin, brown-haired, with a small smile across her rosy lips. Oh, and it seems she's carrying a pstic bag. Maybe she brought food for them to eat together? Aw, that's so cute!

  Yes! I didn't come out here for nothing! I'm not creepy!

  It looks like the moment the door bell rings, Kobayashi-san's eyes light up and she stands straight up. I've never seen such a happy expression from her! I didn't think that was even possible! And when she opened the door, she's already smiling so much! How did they get together? And they meet up almost every day...? So cute...

  Suzuki-san comes inside without much dey, and they both quickly make their ways to the couch, sitting down beside each other. I can tell even at this distance, both are happier than ever just being in the presence of one another. All the smiles I saw from Suzuki-san seem so fake now compared to what I'm seeing now, and with Kobayashi-san, it's like night and day. I don't think I've seen her even a third this happy when interacting with me. Actually, er, I've never seen her smile before, like I said.

  She sure does love her, huh...?

  Okay, now I'm starting to feel a bit bad. They deserve privacy. So, I'm gonna go home for real.

  Ah, but Kobayashi-san just pulled something out of her bag. I might as well see it while I'm here, since I'm curious and all...

  ... Huh? Hold on, am I seeing things correctly? I-I mean, there's no way. No way she'd bring something like that, right...? No way... That's just, way too weird for the image I've seen so far.

  It's... a box cutter. Why would she need... that? I mean, I don't see any boxes nearby that would need cutting. What other uses are there for something like that?

  The next thing that she takes out of the bag is... a bottle of something? I take out my phone and try to zoom in on the camera app, and after trying to read it for a few moments, I see it's... hydrogen peroxide. An antiseptic...

  ... Maybe the next thing will clear things up.

  Oh... the next thing is medical gauze.

  Ah! Maybe Kobayashi-san just got a cut earlier and asked Suzuki-san to bring some medical supplies! Agh, I'm so dumb! Jumping to conclusions like that... The box cutter is obviously to cut the gauze! Man, she's such a good Girlfriend! I might as well leave now.

  But then again, Kobayashi-san just took her shirt off and I am strangely unable to look away. That bra is pretty, and I never really noticed before, but, her chest is pretty sizable... Why was she wearing a bra under pajamas? Does she seriously wear it to sleep? That has to get uncomfortable...

  Ah, Suzuki-san put a pretty big towel on the couch, moving them both to sit on it. Keeping the couch clean, too! How... smart.

  Next, Suzuki-san went to grab the box cutter, beginning to pull off the pstic wrap covering the bde. She put the ft side of the bde directly against Kobayashi-san's wrist, and t-then–

  She... she just pressed that bde into her skin, deep enough to make a thin slit. Kobayashi-san flinched upon the cut being made, and from the looks of it, she let out a tiny yelp. Then... pretty quickly, blood begins to seep down her wrist, down until the stream hits the crease of the elbow.

  Did she... she really just...? Why? That's– That's definitely not normal. Kobayashi-san certainly doesn't look like she's enjoying this, either. Her eyes look a bit gssy, and though her cheeks are pink, her eyebrows are furrowed in pain.

  As if to make me even more concerned and confused, Suzuki-san leaned down towards the line of blood, her somewhat damp tongue leaving her mouth to lick it. Like she was some sort of starved animal, it only took seconds for her to completely p up the entirety of the blood that had gushed out. More continued to fall, however, but that didn't stop her from making another cut next to the st.

  And more and more and more.

  Each time, I watched, utterly confused as to why somebody would do something so crazy. When she made an uneven cut, Kobayashi-san loudly cried out, flinching and jumping forward. Before she could move much, though, Suzuki-san pinned her down with her free hand, and as blood continued to flow from her arm, she pced the box cutter up to Kobayashi-san's throat.

  This sight was so surreal to me. As Suzuki-san's soft and gentle appearance melted away, almost seeming demonic in the light of her new sadistic demeanour, I shivered. This is wrong. This is all so wrong...! That's not– Something like this isn't what couples are supposed to do, right? Right...?

  And, from her lips, I feel that Suzuki-san just said... 'I'll kill you.'

  She... she wouldn't, right? But, that grin on her lips... It's... it's...

  I know I should stop this. I really should, but I can't move. With all the fear in my body, all I can do is shakily take a photo of the events taking pce in front of me.

  -Ai Suzuki-

  "If you move," I put a tiny bit of pressure down on her neck, feeling her tremble violently underneath my touch, "I'll kill you, Naomi-chan."

  The sound of her crying right now was particurly pathetic, and the way she was staring at me was euphoric, fear like no other in her beautiful eyes. She looked even more terrified than she did when I nearly shocked her into a coma, face not just cherry red, but hairline dripping sweat. Her breathing was heavy, her lips quivering. Only able to make out desperate pleas from her garbled mumbles, I leaned down to once more lick at her wrist.

  Her blood was quite strong, the taste of iron filling my mouth. The quantity nearly makes me gag, but I resist the urge and swallow despite the burning I feel in my throat. Once more, I drink. Once more, a part of her in me, now, forever.

  I push my tongue a bit more roughly, and she lets out a raw scream in response. She's struggling to cope, shaking uncontrolbly and unintentionally tugging on my sleeve as she sobs and sobs. I don't stop. I continue dragging my tongue across her sensitive wrist, her quickened pulse urging me onwards. To push her even further.

  God, the things she was saying right now were like drugs, not that I've ever taken anything like that... I should make her take something along those lines some times, though, I don't think I want to get in trouble for trying to get my hands on that. Back to her pathetic pleas, though.

  "A-Ai-chan– P-please, it... It hurts... I-I... A-Ai-chan, Nnnghh–" She couldn't even complete a single sentence, every moment, more tears leaking out of her eyes. "I can't–! I'll– Ow... ow... aaahh... I-I'll pass out– A-Ai-chan... P-please, Ai-chan...!"

  I could barely contain my excitement as I dragged my fingernail along her gashed arm, blood pouring freely as she hyperventited, begging for mercy. This is so much fun, I can't get enough. I wanna torture her, I wanna hurt her more... She's so cute right now, way too cute. I can't believe I've gone this long without doing something like this... Seeing her bleed is absolute mercy.

  "Don't lie. You've been through worse than this, right, Naomi-chan?" I say, but she just continues to cry, nearly choking on her own spit for a few moments. "You'll be fine... I'll clean and bandage you after, okay?"

  "B-but– But–" She stammered, her breath heavy as I push my thumb into her wrist rather roughly. She whines in response before trying to continue. "It– It really, really h-hurts, Ai-chan...! I-I– I can't, I'm scared, I'm so... scared... T-there's too much, Ai-chan... There's too much blood–!"

  Aah, I guess I wouldn't want her to die on me. That'd be a pretty big problem... I'll stop cutting now at the very least, besides, this isn't even the best part. I'm sure it wouldn't take much longer anyway, at least until the bleeding stops itself. I made sure not to apply too much pressure, and it's just surface level cuts to the vein.

  "It's okay... I'll stop now," I finally removed the box cutter from her neck, a tiny red mark left, though not a cut in sight. Well, on her neck, at least. "It's over now! You did so good."

  As the bde was lifted away from her, and she could now very clearly see the bloody scene, she covered her mouth, and pretty quickly began emptying the contents of her stomach. Oh, that's right, she's never reacted too well to the sight of blood, huh? It didn't just come out of her mouth, either. Some dribbled down her nose as well, spilling onto the towels beneath us and soaking her pants. I bet she wishes I told her to take that off too about now, right? Ah, but maybe she isn't thinking logically enough for something like that.

  Nonchantly, I move my finger to scoop some of the disgusting mixture formed beneath her, blood and puke co-mingling with each other. Then, I plop a bit into my mouth as usual, my regur habit.

  "Yep, super disgusting," I giggle, watching the look on her face grow a bit more pained. "I'm gonna disinfect it now, alright?"

  "B-but..." She panted, "It's– ghh... hah... it's not st-stopped bleeding, yet..."

  "Oh, that's fine." It was completely against my medical knowledge, but I was impatient.

  Thus, as I move to grab the hydrogen peroxide, I'm surprised to see Naomi reach out and weakly grab at my arm. Surprised, I tilt my head, "Hm? What?" I ask.

  "I-I... I w-wanna... kiss you, Ai-chan."

  Ah.

  She's so pathetic.

  I sighed, "It was just a treat for you yesterday, and your mouth is all gross right now... No."

  "... S-sorry..." There was a silence, Naomi looking up at me with her pathetic, meek and sad expression, tears beginning to fall uncontrolbly from her once again. Was she trying to tempt me by being that cute? Well, it wasn't going to work this time.

  Instead, I took the antiseptic to her forearm, unscrewing the cap as I talk. "You squirm a lot... I think I'll tie you up next time we do this, okay?"

  "N-next time...?" She hesitated to answer, seemingly still too terrified to completely comprehend just what I'd said.

  "Of course! This was a lot of fun, Naomi-chan."

  Without giving her time to answer, I drench her cuts in the liquid, and the moment it made contact, she screamed louder than ever before. The very sound could break gss... That sight was completely worth it to watch, her body reflexively and powerfully jerking backwards, her teeth clenched, eyes so wide they look like they'd start bleeding as well. I suppose I overdid it a bit, but I certainly don't regret it.

  Hydrogen peroxide is not a good antiseptic to use on a person. It's so strong that it'll damage the surrounding tissue as well, not just killing bacteria, but the body. Thus, it hurts. A lot. Still, it's better than letting it get infected, right? True, I do have a non painful antiseptic, but I bought this specifically for her, how could I not use it?

  That'd just be a waste, and I wouldn't get to hear these beautiful sounds. With her yells and whines of anguish, the noise of me preparing some bandages seemed so casual. Her suffering really was calming.

  Soon enough, I had bandaged the entire area, tightening it once to force a whine out of her. After making sure it won't fall off, I rub a finger slowly over it to feel the texture. I really do love how medical gauze feels like, such a pleasant sensation... I honestly wished that Naomi's body could've been wrapped up in more of it.

  That's for another day. There are other things I want to try out... maybe something that burns? That'd definitely scar, if they're bad enough. These cuts may as well, but considering how clean she typically is, I doubt she'd let them get too bad.

  Now, though, I was a bit tired. Holding her down was hard work, especially considering she's a bit stronger than me... So, I let out a sigh of relief and let my head fall down onto her chest, wrapping my arms around her neck. I couldn't help it, since I was so close, my hands immediately made their way into her messy hair, softly caressing her head as I waited for her heartbeat to calm down. Her hair, too, is always so soft... Aah, it smells good even now...

  Maybe Naomi's surprised I could still act so normally after what happened, maybe that's why her voice wavered when she talked, a pitch higher than usual, almost child-like. "I... It still... h-hurts, Ai-chan..."

  "It'll stop hurting soon, okay? Ah..." I got a new idea, and as always when I'm graced with my own genius, I grin. "How about I run a bath for you?" I ask.

  "Y... yes, please... Ai-chan... T-thank you."

  She's so easy to convince. "Then, I'll go–"

  Standing up, however, I'm quickly stopped by her grabbing onto my sleeve, her hands shaking. "N-no... please, don't leave... I-I– I don't... w-want you to leave me. I-I'm scared... A-Ai-chan..." Oh, she's so stupid.

  Sighing, I shake my head. "Then, how am I supposed to start the bath?" I ask her, though I'm sure she knows how idiotic she's being.

  Though her eyes teared up, she let go of me. "I-I'm sorry, Ai-chan... I-I'll be a good girl..."

  Ha... Haha? There's no way she just called herself that. That dog thing must have really done something to her, affected her on a deep level. This is absolutely hirious, I can't stop myself from smiling. So much so that I...

  Kissed her without even intending to. It surprised even myself, how I so quickly got on my knees to look her in the eyes, before pressing my lips to hers. It... felt oddly comfortable, but, there was a sudden and quick tightness in my chest as I did it. It sort of hurt, like my chest was… it was painful. That’s not normal, right?

  I don't know if I liked it, but I couldn't find it in me to separate, not for several moments after. When I did, I felt weird. I felt...

  "I'll go start it now, you stay for a bit."

  I was barely able to look at her face before I stood up and left for the bathroom.

  As I sat down next to the bath, turning on the water, I couldn't help but let my thumb fall upon my bottom lip, no longer smiling.

  That feeling was new. I... don't know how I feel about it. How am I supposed to react? I don't get it. I don't understand why I wasn't in control of my actions there. Every other time, I made a conscious decision to kiss her. To see what it feels like, to make her squirm under me, to make her completely dependent on me. I made a conscious decision to touch her, to make her cry, to hurt her in all the possible ways I knew, to bring her close to death before bringing her back to life.

  But, I just... did it, there. Without even meaning to. I think I'm a bit angry, I didn't even know what I was doing. I kissed her. I kissed her when I didn't want to. When I hadn't decided to. I wasn't thinking, I just did it without even realizing it until after.

  Kiss her. I kissed her. I pressed my lips to hers, holding her close as I felt her and only her. I'd been ignoring the world around me while I kissed her, letting everything else fade away as I felt her heart race beneath my own.

  I feel gross.

  I guess there's only one thing I can do to remedy that.

  Having returned to Naomi once the water reached an acceptable level, I found her lying down, eyes empty as she stared up at the ceiling. Like a doll, just silently looking for nothing, beautiful yet pathetic. Easily manipute-able. That's...

  I reached out to her as she noticed me, her eyes brightened. It's like just seeing me makes her happier.

  Oh, that's also true for me, huh. I feel happy being with her, and her only. She's really soft, cute and trusting... She's so stupidly easy to persuade, and even when she is a nuisance, I can't help but want to keep her with me.

  Helping her to her feet, she leans on my shoulder as we begin to walk together. She's surprisingly heavy, but I suppose the height difference between us isn't helping with that. She smells horrible. I do too.

  "... I'm gonna get in too." I state, walking the two of us into the washroom.

  "E... eh...?" She slowly looked towards me, flushed. "B-but, you– I..."

  "Don't make such a big deal out of it, I just don't wanna wait for you to get out." Finishing speaking, I let go of her and slid the door closed behind us.

  She's completely frozen for a few moments, struggling to process what I had just said to her. I can see her hands twitch as she looks left and right, unable to keep her eyes on me for longer than a second. More than a few times, she closed them for a few moments, as if wishing the situation would just go away. It's pretty entertaining to watch.

  Though, when she continues to be silent, I speak up, "... You're being annoying."

  "S-sorry..." That turned her expression into a pout, the blush reaching her ears now, probably part way down her neck. "I-I've never... uh... b-bathed with someone, so, I-I don't... I... Um..."

  By the time she finished stumbling over her words like an idiot, I had already taken off my shirt. Now we were matching, though my bra was red. She immediately covered her eyes in response to this, her breath stopping as she turned away.

  While I continued to undress, I watched her, unbothered by the silence of the room. She'd clearly fallen into some sort of deep thought by the time I took off the st article of clothing, putting my hands onto my hips as I sighed.

  "I'm getting in. Take off your clothes and do the same," And upon me stepping into the warm water, now out of her direct line of sight, she hesitantly began to disrobe.

  When she noticed me staring, she seemed to get nervous all over again. However, she fought through it, a commendable effort for someone as weak willed as her. And, eventually, she was left with nothing covering her body at all, same as me. I'd seen this view a few times before, but that was before high school. Her body's changed quite a bit since then, filling out, I guess you could say.

  It's not that I'm jealous of that per say, I wouldn't say it's... that.

  I wonder what she feels when she looks at my naked frame. I wonder if it's different than how I feel looking at her.

  After taking far too long, I try to speed her up, "Are you just going to stand there all day?"

  "Ah! S-sorry," Again. Typical.

  I click my tongue, rolling my eyes a bit before I move to make room for her. The bathtub is rather rge, but I wasn't exactly being generous before. Either way, once she was finally sitting down, there wasn't much separating us, though she did attempt to avoid looking at me. Instead, she was more focused on the flowing water, or the now soaked bandages wrapped around her arm..

  I hate it. I want her to be looking at me even now. I feel so horrible right now but I want her attention fully given to me, for her to care only about me. Nobody else but me... Me, me, me.

  "... I'll wash you." I interrupted the silence, watching the confusion dance around in her eyes as I moved to grab the bar of soap, moving it in my hand as she sat still.

  "O-oh, you don't have to..." She spoke quietly, watching my hands.

  "Just let me do this."

  Barely, she nods. At the very least, she was never hard to convince. One push is all it takes if she doesn't comply the first time, but then again, she usually seems to come to an acceptance or understanding pretty quickly. She'll always listen to me.

  Her skin really is soft, and it's even more wonderful when lubricated by body soap. My hand practically slides across the length of her shoulder, down to her elbow as I work. Then, I repeat this process, putting more soap on so that my second ther is both quicker and more efficient.

  This sts about three minutes, and she squirms only a tiny bit. It's like she's holding back herself, struggling to keep her breath steady and eyes off of my naked body. I don't get it. It's just skin, something everyone has and we're designed to keep. What makes her so nervous about this? God, just what's wrong with her.

  I finish making my way down to her uninjured wrist, leaning up to press my body against hers and pce my lips on her ear. There, I mutter, "You can touch me back, if you want."

  She quietly squeaked in response, tensing up. "Huh...? I don't know..."

  "What, do you not want to? Really?" I narrowed my eyes, tightening my grasp on her wrist. I'm sure it hurt, seeing how she winced and let out a shuddering breath.

  "T-that's not– No, I-I do want to–" She stopped herself as she realized what she said, visually ashamed as she sank a bit lower below me. "I just..."

  "You just... *what.*"

  There was an uncomfortable silence, she was avoiding making eye contact with me entirely, and I just couldn't stand it. Having her be silent, though my mind was racing with insults and comments I really wanted to say, I was desperate for her to talk, for her to just say anything at all. Why couldn't she say it?

  With every second passing, I grew angrier. But, if I'm angry, does that mean I was consciously choosing what I'm doing right now? Normally, I don't think I would want her to see me like this, but yet... I'm naked on top of her in a bath, pinning her down like some creep. Her silence just fuels the fmes, as if she wants me to suffer.

  "I... I..." She hesitantly began, gulping and closing her eyes. Then, when they opened, she was finally looking at me. "... I'm s-scared... I'll make you hate me."

  ... Stupid.

  I stopped myself from biting her ear for just a moment, feeling her shiver in fear beneath me. "... Do you want to have sex with me?"

  As if a proverbial nail in the coffin, she completely shut down, freezing and practically became a statue. As all the color was drained from her face, leaving only that look of overwhelming fear, my rage increased. Her reaction. Why don't I like it? Her fear is something I adore more than almost anything else, yet, looking at that face of horror right now, I clenched my teeth.

  And I hated it. I wanted to hurt her right now. I wanted to use my hands, I wanted to see her body tear open as blood spilled from the wound. No, I didn't want to have sex with her, the entire idea of that disgusted me. However, the idea that she wouldn't want to do so with me filled me with an even more disgusting feeling, one that shook me to my core.

  I shouldn't be feeling this. I shouldn't let this bother me. I shouldn't be shaken like this because of her.

  I hate her.

  "Just... say something. What do you feel about me?" I demanded answers. I wanted to know what was going on in that horrible mind of hers right now, so that I could get over it. So I could hurt her without feeling like this. So that this weird feeling in my chest can disappear.

  "... You're the most important person to me, Ai-chan..." She spoke, but I knew she was hiding her true feelings like always.

  "You know that's not what I meant."

  "I-it's– I don't–"

  "Stop stuttering," I practically hissed, digging my nails into her skin. She whimpered in response. "You're not allowed to avoid the question."

  "Ah, s-sorry... I'm..." Again, a silence. Even now, she can't give me a straight answer. I wish I could cut her voice box so I didn't have to hear her anymore. Why couldn't she just... "... I-I don't know, Ai-chan. S-sometimes, when I look at you, I get this really... confused feeling– And, t-then you do stuff and I feel even more... conflicted."

  I hate it. I hate her. I hate this situation I forced myself into. I want to leave her right now and run out the door, never looking at her again.

  But, I can't.

  “... Okay.” The rest of the bath was spent in silence. I washed her hair, and then my body. That’s all there was to it. Nothing exciting happened, nothing so keen as to give me any sort of relief. Just a meaningless task of me taking care of Naomi.

  Even after the bath was over, and we were both in a fresh change of clothes, sitting in her room upon her bed, the same feeling lingered. Ugh, I hate this. I don't want to look at her. Horribly, though, I want her to keep looking at me. Just how was this fair? How am I supposed to deal with this situation? She was gncing at me every so often, but that wasn't enough.

  I want to be the only thing she sees, but I don't want to see her face right now.

  This is awful.

  "... Naomi-chan."

  "Hm?" She mindlessly answered.

  "Come here."

  She crawled towards me, and as soon as she was within arms length, I pulled her into my p, and then on top of me as I fell against the pillow. Here, I wrapped my arms around her waist, quickly moving my head into the crook of her neck. She let out a surprised noise, but I didn't pay it much mind as I began to focus on her smell. I smell like her too, now, having used the same soap, but her scent still felt different for some reason. It was Naomi, something unquestionably her.

  She was heavy, though I already knew that. She felt like a weighted bnket on top of me, warm and comforting. The sound of her heart thumping in her chest was audible this close. It felt so strong, and full of life. She really was alive.

  "A-Ai-chan...?" Her voice was all I could hear, loud and soft in some paradoxical way of soothing me.

  "Hug me," I whispered in a hushed tone, just loud enough that I thought she would hear it.

  She hesitated, before slowly and gently wrapping her arms around my neck, unable to snake them around my waist, though she tried. That was uncomfortable, but once she was properly holding me back, it was okay. Better, at least, at least than having to sit uncomfortably next to her. Like this, I could make sure she was focused on me, and I didn't have to see her.

  I've never liked hugs. Even when I was young, when my parents tried to hug me, I'd always try to avoid it. When I realized the importance of image, however, I forced myself to deal with the uncomfortable feeling of being trapped like that. With Naomi, I could just barely handle it, however.

  Though, I still feel trapped. It's still hard to breathe, and the weight on me is still uncomfortable. I hate the feeling of having her touching me, of being close enough with this power over me. At the very least, she wasn't making this weird. She wasn't making any strange noises, other than breathing, and her hands stayed firmly in pce, not looming anywhere else.

  For the most part, anyway. She was a bit shaky.

  Touching Naomi was always different from other people. I could hold hands with her without difficulty, she could lean on me, or rest her head in my p and it'd feel fine. I could py with her hair and actually enjoy it, and on that matter, I doubt I'd be able to do the type of things I do to her to anyone else. Touching her is just... something I'm able to do, even when I can't with others. At least, not with ease.

  Sometimes, it wasn't even uncomfortable at all.

  She was warm, and soft, and I almost felt like I could fall asleep if not for the fact that I don't entirely feel safe from her doing something to me in my sleep. She's a coward, but with how she's been acting as of te... I'm not sure. I don't understand what's going through her head most of the time, I just don't get how she thinks. She'd forgive me no matter what horrible things I do to make her suffer, and she'll always genuinely say I'm the most important person to her. Her clinginess, and general incessant behavior like that was grating, and I wish I could just beat it out of her, even if it did make her cute at times. And... with the concept of Maki knowing something, it really makes things difficult. I...

  I bit her. Not hard, barely a nibble that wouldn't ever break her skin, or even hurt her. I couldn't help it, I just needed something to be in my teeth, and the skin on her neck was the closest thing. Afterwards, I could feel her shift, and let out a faint shudder, but her arms didn't move at all. She was just silently letting me continue, following my orders without me needing to even say anything. I liked when she understood what I needed, what I wanted.

  I think she understood me better than anyone else. Obviously, she was the only one I could really show myself to, but there was more to it than that. I felt like she wouldn't leave me no matter what, even if I told her to get lost, she'd come back the next day, all patched up and completely ignoring the truth. After all, I made her completely dependent on me. Her parents are constantly abroad, so it's not like she has some proper retionship with them. And, since she didn't have any friends in middle school when we met, I was the only one there for her. That continued on to high school, with her hopelessly unable to get on with anyone else, especially with how she forces herself to act around them.

  She'd never be able to live without me. If that's not enough, I could even convince her to die for me.

  Maybe she should die for me.

  "Ai-chan," Her voice was uncharacteristically serious. "Are you crying?"

  Huh? Of course not, what was she talking about? Sure, my eyes were a bit irritated, and felt... a tiny bit wet, but I would never. I wouldn't cry in front of her, especially when nothing had happened. Of course I didn't make some miserable, despicable noises like what would escape from Naomi.

  I wasn't that pathetic. She wouldn't break me like that.

  "N... no," I just barely made out, my face still hidden in the nape of her neck, my arms locked tight around her waist. "Y-you're– you're being stupid."

  "... It's okay if you are. I cry a lot in front of you, don't I...?" I hated how composed she sounded, how easily her words came to her when mine didn't.

  "That's– It's d-different. I can't– I can't..."

  I don't get it. Why was I crying? Why did I feel so horrible all of a sudden? My chest was so tight, and my mind was foggy. All I wanted was Naomi. All I wanted was...

  She suddenly cupped her hands on my cheeks, forcing me to look at her face once more. Without trying, I followed her, keeping eye contact as she brushed aside my bangs, and then my tears. I wasn't supposed to be like this, I wasn't supposed to be the weak one, not the vulnerable and sensitive one. I didn't like this, I didn't like it at all. I was the one who wanted to push her down and hurt her, not the other way around.

  I hated this. It was scary. It felt like she could pounce on me at any moment, having her way with me. But, she didn't, just looking at me with that beautiful and horrible gaze. Her hands moved through my hair, caressing my face so gently that it almost burned. No, it *did* burn. I couldn't handle this. No. No, no, no, no... Stop it, stop. It hurts. My chest hurts, I feel sick. It's so hot that it's freezing. I feel like I'm drowning, suffocating, I can't breathe, and everything is so loud even though all I can hear is mine and her breathing.

  There's not enough air in the room. Not nearly enough to let me breathe without issue, and all that I am was crumbling. There's so much happening in my head, but I can't focus on any singur part of this. My mind is gone. I hate this feeling, this was all I had. My mind was the only real part about me, why can't I keep at least that? Why can't I think? Why can't I tear my eyes away from Naomi's face? Just, why? Just, why? Why did I do this? Why didn't I just stop?

  And just *why* did she think then was a good time to kiss me?

  Everything froze as her lips closed over mine, pushing me down and keeping me still. This isn't what I wanted, but she just forced me down and made out with my soon to be struggling frame.

  I managed to pull away for just a half moment, "What are you–" But she quickly leaned down further to continue kissing me. And, as if to silence me, she shoved her tongue into my mouth, quickly coiling it around my own, keeping me from being able to fight back. I hated this, I didn't want to feel her inside of me like this, I didn't want to be invaded. Not by her, not by anyone.

  She wrapped her legs around mine, keeping me pinned down and unable to break out of her grasp. I forgot until now how much stronger she was than me, and how she overpowers me as if it were nothing. I'm at her mercy, and that simple fact filled me with horror. Eventually, I got too tired to kick or do much, so my eyes began to drift closed, the only sounds filling the room being the wet noises of our mouths, and me weak, useless struggling beneath her.

  It hurt, and my eyes were wet. I wanted her to stop, why wouldn't she just stop already? Did she suddenly hate me? No, no, no, no, that's not possible. After everything... she wouldn't. But, if that was so, why... why wouldn't she stop hurting me.

  When her tongue moved and hit my teeth, I instinctively bit down, a little harder than I intended. That got her to open her eyes, pull back and disconnect our mouths, slowly moving her head down at me as I was panting and sobbing. My teeth gritted as I returned her gaze, so utterly confused, scared, and angry. I couldn't take it, my fists clenched as I tried to catch my breath, yet she was smiling. How could she be smiling after doing something like that? What the hell was wrong with her? Why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, *why?*

  "Ai-chan, it's okay," Even as she attempted to comfort me, I couldn't help but sink further into the bed, to try and escape from her approaching hand. "You... don't have to be scared... or sad."

  "No it's not– leave me alone," I hissed, choking up. "Stop i-it... Get off..." I struggled a bit more, but she just continued to hold me down.

  "You're really pretty, Ai-chan. Really... really pretty. Even more when you're crying like this..." Her words made me shiver, an awful sinking feeling permeating my entire body. This is wrong. There's something wrong with her. Let me go, let...

  "Get off, I can't–" But she silenced me again, this time more forcefully and abruptly. Her grip on me got tighter as I dug my nails into her back, but it didn't even begin to dissuade her from doing this. I groaned, "Mghh– Nhh..." The noise muffled from our sloppily connected mouths.

  It just kept going and going. My desperate kicking and scratching did nothing, as if she was some terrible stone pilr atop me. Soon, I had gone limp, completely out of energy from the initial struggling, which still had done nothing.

  It hurts. I'm so overwhelmed. Everything's too much, and I can barely even understand what's going on right now, other than Naomi is vioting me. That's what this is, right? Viotion, viotion... I think I hate her.

  I think I really hate her.

  I can't do anything anymore. I don't think I've ever felt this terribly weak before, like I couldn't do a thing no matter how much I tried. Even as I begin to get my energy back, I don't know if there's even a point of fighting anymore. She'll get bored eventually, or stop seeing the point in... whatever made her want to do this. Right? It'll end, and then she'll understand that she can't just do this to me. I'll make sure she learns from this, I'll make her feel terrible.

  Very quickly, the idea of going no contact with Naomi for a few weeks became not just a way to ease suspicions, or to have fun with, but instead something necessary. She needed to feel the same amount of pain she's causing me right now. Her suffering has become an absolute requirement.

  My hair was all over the pce, tangled and unkempt. It's all because of her, that stupid, stupid girl. God, she's so... She's gross, that's what she is. She's nasty and creepy and horrible. I want to never see her again, but I know that's not going to happen. I can't stand not being able to see her suffering, I've begun to realize that as of te. Each second I'm away from her I'm thinking about what I'm going to do to her. It's what gets me through the day.

  I don't know if dealing with this is worth it, though. Not when she separates from me only to whisper in my ear, "Your... your question before... The answer is yes." And I never before thought I could be so horrified by her confirmation. I didn't think it possible for me to want to shut down even more, but god, Naomi can do the impossible. “I want… to have sex with you. I want to feel every part of you, Naomi-chan…”

  Slowly, she slid off of me, but without letting go, she shifted to the side and id down right next to where I continued to lie. I think I was trembling in her arms. That was despite the fact I just felt empty now.

  I muttered, "... Are you... going to..?"

  "Not if you don't want me to," She replied, and I swear I could hear the smile on her face.

  "I don't," It was quiet, but I'm sure she heard me say it. Despite that, she continued to hug me from behind, her lips eventually kissing my neck. "... Stop– I don't– I don't want to. I don't like this."

  Her voice was awfully childish all of a sudden, the softest of whines leaving her. "... Are you sure you don't want to just a little, Ai-chan? Why'd you ask– ask me if you didn't?"

  "That wasn't why, you know that," I'd have bitten at the fingers caressing my cheek if I had the energy. "... I just wanted to know... And, you're acting w... weird."

  "Ah, I-I'm just..." She nuzzled into my neck, an utterly disgusting sensation. "I think I'm really happy right now. My heart’s all jittery because of everything we've done today... I want to kiss you a lot more, and touch you... m-maybe in some special ways."

  "You said you'd stop if I didn't like it," I tried to yell out, but it came out in just a dull response. I wanted to sound angry, to shut her down. However, even a tiny bit of conviction wouldn't be had for me. All I had was my fatigue.

  "S-sorry... I won't. I'd never do something you wouldn't like. " She lied straight through her teeth, continuing to speak anyway. "But, if you ever decide you want to... I'll always be here. This... this is nice."

  My stomach twisted into knots, "... No, it isn't."

  "Mm..." My response seemed to make her sort of sad, for whatever reason. It was obvious how I felt, it should have been. "Could I make you feel better somehow...?"

  "Just... l-leave me alone," I croaked out, but despite my words, she decided she knew better. My decisions didn't matter to her, apparently.

  She once more approached my ear, and I flinched as the warm air of her mouth hit me in conjunction with her words. "Do you want to cut me like before...? Or, um... maybe you could bite me... or py with my mouth, make me vomit... whatever you want, Ai-chan."

  "... I want to go home."

  "O-oh. I... okay." Her grip loosened in response, slowly pulling back and moving herself off of me and away entirely. I was able to sit up finally as soon as she did, a terrible taste left upon my mouth as I looked her way. Despite her obvious disappointment, that annoying desperation remained behind.

  And like that, I was walking out the door without looking back.