Chapter 5. I Want to Make You Friends-Naomi Kobayashi-

  I don't want to watch this movie.

  All the same, I'm sitting next to Maki in the theater, looking at the screen with what I'm sure is the same gaze belonging to a dead fish. I felt entirely numb as I sat, legs crossed, barely able to process what was even happening in the film. I think it's a romance, maybe, filled with useless conflict to fill out the runtime. I'm sure that, by the end, there's gonna be a big scene where the boy and girl forgive each other, and then they'll kiss or something.

  Maki doesn't seem too engaged by it either, considering I've caught her gncing over at me quite frequently. I don't really like it, it feels like she needs something from me. I wish she'd just keep her eyes on the screen, because I get tired of having to pretend I don't notice.

  I don't think we're even friends of any sort. Our interactions are typically me just telling her to do something and her doing it without managing a single word back. In fact, I don't think she's ever spoken to me out of necessity before now. Maybe she just felt obligated to invite me instead of any of the other Student Council members because we're the only first years... Or, were, I suppose. After this summer, we'll be second years.

  That's weird to think about. My first year of high school went by so quickly... I don't think I regret anything, though. I got to spend time with Ai after school, so even if I can't talk to her during the day, I'll always have that. I'll always have Ai...

  Ah, I wish nothing had come up for her. Then I could have declined this invitation and seen her instead. Friday feels like an eternity away, despite it being tomorrow...

  Once the movie was over, and the two people shared a quick and chaste kiss, followed by a nice fade to bck, the film ended. The only thought I was left with was, 'Huh. That was quick.' Not exactly an engaging conclusion to the whole thing, but I guess that was enough for the target audience.

  Maki seemed to end up liking it, at least. I'm gd one of us got something out of this. We get out of the seats, proceeding to head back outside with only a few meaningless words shared. She seems nervous, as if being around me alone is a struggle. I guess that makes sense, I'm not exactly a sociable person. I'm cold and distant whenever I'm away from Ai, so it must look like I don't care about her on some level.

  Ah. Maybe she just doesn't like me.

  Eventually, I stop walking. It takes a few moments for her to notice, stopping whatever bleak topic she was on to stare back at me. "Kobayashi-san...?"

  "Why did you invite me in the first pce? It doesn't seem like you're exactly at ease with me, Maki-san." I stare into her dark, brown eyes, something shifting within them.

  "H-huh...?" She stuttered, clearly caught off guard. "Why do you...?"

  "You don't need to force yourself to get along with me," I eborate, my hands stagnant as they stay at my sides. "I would just prefer it if it were honest. It feels like you're desperately trying to get the conversation to continue, even when I don't put in any effort at all."

  "Oh, I... Sorry..."

  I continued all the same, "If you really don't like me, please do not feel obligated to do this."

  That seemed to get something out of her, however, her eyes widening as her voice raised every so slightly, "N-no– That's not it at all...! I..."

  "Then," Tilting my head, I took a hesitant step forward. "Just what is it?"

  Her cheeks were reddened, and after a moment of silence, she avoided eye contact. For a moment, I wondered if I was too harsh. It's not like she did anything wrong by trying to be nice to her fellow Student Council members, and here I was berating her. I strangely didn't feel bad about it, however, and as she looked up at me once more, a shaky frown on her face, I felt strange.

  "Because I... I really like you, Kobayashi-san!" She very suddenly excimed, causing me to flinch. "I really respect you! Not only are you at the top of our grade, but you're an amazing Student Council President! You're always on time, and even when work piles up, you make sure to help others! I also think it's cool how everyone in the School likes you! You're so popur without... even trying. It's– You're just... really amazing." Perhaps worn out, her gaze fell to the ground once more, "S-so, I... want to be friends with you. If I can."

  The sincerity in her voice was rather striking. So much so that I was unsure how to respond, opening my mouth, then closing it when nothing came out. Confused was my primary reactionary emotion to this, followed soon by a sense of unease. So truthful were her words, yet they were out of reach.

  Is that how I was perceived? People I hardly talked to had such esteem for me, it was somewhat bizarre. I rarely got compliments, let alone ones so pure, too. After all, it felt like people avoided me. Sure, some would try and talk to me, but it always felt like they were forcing themselves, like an unsoundness existed within them. I'd just stare with an empty expression and perhaps nod a few times.

  "... You want to be friends... with me?" I questioned.

  "Y-yes! Very much so!"

  She's going so far with this out of pure respect... I think I'm scaring her.

  "I... don't think people like me. You must be confused..." I said, a hint of skepticism seeping into my tone.

  "Eh...?" Now, she seemed genuinely confused. "Of course they do? You're pretty much an idol, Kobayashi-san... I'm pretty sure there's even a fan group or two..."

  "Ah." I mumbled, still a tad lost. What she was saying was unbelievable, though her truthfulness made me tempted to believe otherwise. "People always seem uncomfortable to talk to me, though."

  Wait, did she say fan group?

  "Well, you are pretty scary at first gnce... You always have your eyes narrowed, and since you're so tall, people have to look up at you most of the time. Er, and there's the fact that during middle school you got attacked by a group of delinquents from the other High school nearby and beat them so badly they changed their ways entirely!"

  ... Huh?

  "Excuse me? I never did that."

  "You don't have to be modest, Kobayashi-san! You really are incredible! But, either way," No, don't move on from that. "You're someone I can't help but admire, I want to be like you... And, so, that's why I wanted to get to know you better. I'm gd we're at least able to talk, s-so... maybe we could hang out again some time..."

  I'd like to crify first that I have never id my hands on another person, nor am I affiliated with any gangs. My only experience with fighting are the karate lessons my parents made me take when I was in elementary school. I did not st a week.

  Ignoring that part, it seemed I had a bit of a misunderstanding. Maki appears to really like me. Or, maybe this is a strange new form of bullying, but I doubt that. This feels too pure for that to be the case, and the look in her eyes seemed genuine enough. As Maki stood there, her hair bobbed slightly against the sudden rush of wind from out of nowhere, I found myself staring bnkly into her eyes.

  "... Okay, then." I stated, her eyes widening in response. "And... if you are still free... would you like to go to a cafe for a drink?"

  Her cheeks turned scarlet, and upon taking a moment to fully internalize my words, she nodded with all the might she could muster, "I-I would love to! Thank you, Kobayashi-san!"

  "Good." Is all I said, before continuing to walk with Maki trailing not too far behind.

  The trip to the nearest cafe was rather uneventful. It's not like it was far away, just a short walk from where we had ended up. It wasn't exceptionally bustling inside, several seats empty and rge potted pnts providing a homey atmosphere.

  Upon taking our seats on opposite sides of each other, a waitress came over to serve us. Maki ordered some kind of coffee, while I got tea. They both came out without much issue after about ten minutes or so, as I sipped at my drink while Maki stared as if studying me. I wasn't uncomfortable by this per say, but it was... strange. Why would anybody be so interested in me?

  Either way, the only one I need is Ai. The only one...

  Hold on, is that–?

  "Council Prez?" Looking down at me from the booth behind us was a girl I recognized, a cssmate of mine. A particurly troublesome individual, but one I deal with for a simple fact.

  She's friends with Ai, and as of now... she's also sitting there, along with one other girl who I don't share a css with. This is... unexpected. What am I supposed to do? Ah, I need to stop staring at Ai– Or, well, she's staring directly at me right now too, though.

  I should say something before this gets suspicious.

  "... Akamatsu-san." I respond with, staring at the excessively piercing adorned girl who first noticed me. Luckily, I have all the st names of my cssmates memorized.

  "Geez, did you come all this way to lecture Ai outside of school too?" Akamatsu asked with a sly smirk on her face, her eyes meeting mine. I couldn't help but notice how long her eyeshes, and how clean her eyebrows were.

  Before I could try and defend Ai, she spoke up, "Ah, Miyu. I told you it was nothing! She just wanted to remind me to hand in an assignment I forgot about..."

  Ah, so that's the story.

  "I apologize again. I was asked to by the teacher."

  I hate this. It's stressful. Lying is annoying, especially when I have to come up with something on the spot. But, I'm used to lying to everybody, except for Ai, so this doesn't really feel much different to the day-to-day.

  "I was just joking," She giggled. "Just two hanging out or something?"

  Considering how silent Maki had been, I decided to continue answering to save her the trouble. "Is that not a normal thing to do during summer break?"

  That answer seemed to amuse her, as she let out a scoff accompanied by a half-hearted grin. "You really are something else. Always talking like you're in a job meeting, hehe...." And upon saying that, she promptly stood up, walking over to Maki and I, and sat down right next to me. "Just two people seems boring! Now you've got five!"

  Ah... I thought I would be getting out of this today. This is so annoying– Oh, god, the other person I haven't the faintest clue the name of stood up next, and that seemed to be the driving factor to getting Ai to do the same.

  Now, there are three extra people sitting around me who I never agreed to. I can't even follow the conversation anymore, but the biggest surprise is that Maki is actually getting along with them. Ai's not too active in the conversation, but all the same, it feels strange to be so close to her while with others... Perhaps my best choice is to just stay silent, acting the same as I usually do when around others.

  But, I really am gd to see Ai's face today. Even if it wasn't pnned, and we can't talk like we usually do, just seeing her is enough. Enough for me to suffer these unfamiliar social gatherings, at least...

  "Prez." A voice sounded directly in my left ear, startling me so much I nearly spilled my drink. Akamatsu had evidently gotten somewhat close to me.

  I flinched, desperately stopping myself from making any sort of unfitting noise. Turning to face her, I frowned. "... What."

  "Nothing. Just letting you know it's fine to smile, sometimes." And, with a sly, though somewhat genuine grin, Akamatsu proceeded to scoot slightly away from me, rejoining the conversation with ease.

  Fine to smile sometimes? Of course I know that. I smile quite a lot when I'm with Ai, there's just little reason for me to do so otherwise. I don't think I should try and put up a fake smile, though, that'd be... Oh, but... that's not what she meant. I know that very well.

  She just wants me to have fun with them, that's all. She wants me to be able to get along, that's just the kind of person she is. I always see her trying to include people in things, doing her best to let everyone have fun with little to no effort on her part... I suppose she isn't that bad. I've heard quite a few negative things about her, and her appearance certainly doesn't do her many favours, but... she seems kind.

  But, as I was lost in my thoughts, Ai had stood up. "I'll be back. I just need to use the washroom." And, with a smile different from the one I see when I'm alone with her, she left the table. However, when nobody else was paying attention, I noticed how she gnced at me for a few moments, as if to tell me to go too.

  After a few minutes, to not make it suspicious that I'd go right after her, I excused myself as well, making my way to the very same bathroom. Conveniently, it was completely empty, other than Ai, who was looking into the mirrors back at herself. As I approached, she finally turned away from the sink and properly faced me, her eyes low and lips straight.

  A feeling of unease developed within me. Was I not allowed to come...? Did she want me to leave her alone? Did I really mess up that bad? I'm such an idiot, god–

  "A-ah," I stuttered, feeling a touch of complete and utter shame. "Sorry... Should I go–"

  Before I could finish saying what was likely a rather me excuse for a sentence, Ai grabbed my wrist. While refusing to look at me, she moved to pull me to the furthest stall from the entrance, shutting and locking the door behind us as she moved to stare me in the eyes, having to tilt her head up just a tad.

  "Don't try to lie or something on the spot. You're terrible at it. We've gone over this, right? If the time comes, just let me do the talking." Her words cut into me, but they were true, so I nodded all the same. To think that I've made her have to cover my idiocy like this... What an awful, selfish friend I am.

  I felt my cheeks burn in righteous guilt, the beginning of tears threatening to poke their way out of the ducts. "... I'm sorry."

  She only sighed in response, "You've been messing up more tely. If you keep that up, people might start getting suspicious about us, Naomi-chan..." Leaning against the wall to the side of us, she looked ahead, avoiding eye contact for a second time. "If that happens, we'll need to stay away from each other for a while to be safe. Maybe a few weeks at the very least, to cool off suspicions at least. Miyu's been all over me asking what you wanted to talk about that day, you know..." She narrowed her eyes, "It's annoying. I have to keep pying it off, but it feels like she doesn't buy it."

  My heart stopped for a second, my expression falling. "S... stay away? You mean–"

  "It's a worst case scenario. And, it won't happen if you just... start being more careful. Listen to what I say, and never try to interact with me when we're in public. I don't want to stop seeing you, Naomi-chan." I hated seeing her so serious, she only got like this when I messed up. My heart would always break, seeing that slight bitterness in her voice and sullen look on her face.

  "A-Ai-chan... I-I'm so sorry, I– I'm such a– such an idiot..." My attempts to conceal my voice failed, Ai lifting her hands to move some of the loose strands of my hair out of the way of my eyes. "I don't want to s-stay away from you... Ai-chan, I want to stay by your side... a-always..."

  My body felt lighter than air, and it was getting difficult to stand. The tears were coming out faster and faster, blurring Ai's wonderful face into some indiscernible figure I could barely recognize. The warmth of her hands reminded me she was here, however, and I could make out the slight upward shift of her lips as she stared at me.

  "I get it. And, I want you by my side always, too, Naomi-chan. Which is why we have to be extra cautious from now on, okay?" Her voice sounded so sweet, how can someone be so sweet? Even to me, who has failed her so many times, gone against her wishes far too many times. Yet, even still, she looks at me with such kind eyes, all as her hand cups my cheek.

  "M-mhm..." I just barely make out, nodding desperately as quiet sobs escape my lips. "I-I-I will."

  When I blink a few more times, it's easier to see Ai's smile, and even easier when she begins wiping away my tears. With a giggle, she leaned in a tad closer, "But... I am happy to see you today, Naomi-chan. I really was missing you... I kept thinking about how much I wish I was with you instead, it almost felt like fate when you showed up. Haah... it was like I was in a movie or something."

  "... I was thi-thinking the same t-thing..." I sniffed, breathing shakily. Even now, though, I felt a supreme sense of joy upon being so close to her, to be able to hear her kind words and gentle touches. I... don't deserve this. Not someone this angelic...

  "Aah..." I watched as her smile got wider, "You're way too cute..."

  And, then, she leaned in further. So much that my brain all but went into panic mode, still conscious yet no longer able to think. Before I could do anything of substance, her lips had fallen upon mine, and I let out a quiet whimper. I certainly didn't expect her to try anything while in here, but... any compints or fears I had were quickly disrupted as she held me close, little noises ringing out each time she kissed me.

  This was the third time Ai has kissed me, and it felt just as unreal as the st two did. I was in an odd trance, and when this was all so new, it was difficult for me to even think about kissing her back, at least to an effective level. The first kiss only sted half a moment, and the second was happening while she was shocking me with that colr, so I was a bit more focused on that. The memory of that is sort of hazy, though, so it's difficult to recall just what...

  Ah, she... put her tongue in my mouth. Right, I think... she maybe did this the second time, but it's all so fuzzy. I let out a sharp gasp, my knees somehow growing even weaker as she seemed to knead my tongue with her own. She really knows how to make me feel things that I'm not familiar with, but, it almost always ends up with her being close to me, so, I love it all the same... This time, however, the sensation of her tongue is oddly pleasurable, something unexpected from the simple action. While the thought of anything in my mouth other than her fingers bothered me before, this is pleasant. And, somehow... it feels like she tastes sweet.

  I think I let out a noise I wasn't intending to, something that I only heard a few select times coming from my own mouth, but never so unrestrained. I knew well what it was a sign of, but it was far too embarrassing to actually internalize. It was an intimate thing, something that was supposed to be exclusively kept in the bedroom, and while I didn't expect this event to have simir feelings attached, it might have. At least that's what my instincts are telling me right now as they're being influenced by the emotions only Ai has ever managed to awaken within me, a mess of things that still confuse me.

  Either way, when she stopped kissing, a surprisingly thick strand of saliva connecting us for a few moments before snapping, I was gasping for air while resisting the urge to pull her in to kiss once more. So thoughtless was I that I hadn't even done the logical thing and moved my tongue back into the confines of my mouth, resulting in a line of spit rolling down my jaw.

  This seemed to make Ai's grin grow wider, "Naomi-chan... You look really dirty right now."

  Those words made me immediately grow conscious of myself once more, quickly fixing up my appearance. If anybody else saw me like that... I wonder what they would think. They'd probably be disgusted that I could even make such a face, and even more so that I was more than willing to do it.

  But, with Ai, she'd never be like that. She'd accept every disgusting and filthy part of me, taking all of it in stride. Even like this, she would call me cute. Something nobody else has ever done.

  Then, before I could realize it, she moved to my ear. She spoke quietly, though not enough that it'd be considered a whisper, "Hey, are you wet?"

  The question made me freeze. She had... never asked anything remotely close to that before. There was that one time, but that felt completely distant from what she was implying, what she was asking me.

  My immediate reaction was to say no, but, the truth was, I wasn't sure. With a rapidly beating heart and boured breathing, my mind wasn't in the best state to draw any conclusions. It was hard to tell at all, and even if I could, how was I supposed to know just what exactly 'it' was? Maybe my bdder had failed me for a moment, or perhaps my period came early, those were possibilities as well.

  So, instead, I just ended up mumbling, "... I don't know." And, for the brief moment Ai paused, I was terrified I had disappointed her.

  "Just from that, huh..." For that moment, she seemed oddly introspective, but, just as quickly, she came back, giggling against my neck. "You must have really enjoyed how that felt, then."

  I nervously nodded, struggling to stop myself shivering from what had just occurred between us. With difficulty, I answered, "... Because it's you."

  She said nothing, taking a moment to gently sway side to side before wrapping her arms around me and pulling me down into a tight hug. She did lick my neck for a moment, though, but I was used to her doing weird stuff like that sometimes, all that escaping me being a single quick breath. A new feeling arose in me from that, however.

  I wanted her to continue.

  In that moment, I wanted her to just do things to me. Not the kind she usually does, but something... new, completely and utterly foreign. Intimate, raw, carnal... just the thought alone made it even more embarrassing, so I tried pushing them out all the same. But, that didn't mean they wouldn't still be there. I was ignoring them for now, but deep inside of me, I still felt them. It's scary, though, to want something that's so unknown, so embarrassing and shameful. It's better to say nothing and let the lingering unease fade away into my background rather than being all I can think about.

  "You're still free for me to come over tomorrow, right...?" She asked.

  "Of course," That response was simple, not requiring any sort of thought to properly form the words.

  Following my response, she leaned back, smiling as she tilted her head. "Let's have more fun then."