Ah… normality I thought. It’s been eight years since I felt it last; and I still remember the last day perfectly.
A blue-collar worker getting by without any dark clouds overcast.. I did well back then, manager of TPP or the Terran people’s postal service. I was never wanting for anything materialistic, just the simple pleasures of hitting other places here and there throughout the year.
Had a visit to Edindon planned for the winter; it was only eight days away... my sodding luck! I thought and let out a sigh.
My world Terra was a calm world. Filled to brim with all the good stuffs like: Cranky Jay’s Havre Bites goodness and Fizzay Pops every flavour you can savour! Nothing like a bottle of Loichee crème to wash your meal down with.
My ramblings drew in the attention of a nearby Impie, interesting creatures those, wonderfully friendly bunch despite the ever so slightly unnerving grins and continuous bouncing on those powerful spring legs. Are you sat here thinking… Impie’s? This is Terra, what illegal things are you on mate?
I have not consumed anything illegal or questionable pal; we just happen to have new neighbours here, with a BIG thanks to the BIG collision of two thousand forty! Turns out, Rizianity, Ulam, Daism, Hanuism and Bodusm, they had the right idea praying to invisible deities. As they only went and showed themselves and then disappeared in almost the same amount of time… well at least that’s what it felt like but it’s hard counting time when faced with incoming disaster.
It was surprising though, that a fair few hundred or so gods, were far from special, I mean can you believe there was a god of sauces? “I- definitely did NOT.” snorted Kungle, one of the Impie’s bouncing around manically near a delectably tempting, red Tammaro plant patch growing in the fields.
“Good to see you out and about Kungle, hope the wife is well” I said. A quick nod and off he goes bouncing on his merry way.
The god among gods… Serilia. She was the very thing the religions preached and prayed to given flesh. Creator of it all, the world we live in, the fabric of reality…. terribly poor health and safety executive though.
Her technicians fell asleep, watching the primordial CCTV. Which is circumventing calamity transcendental vision for the uneducated.
Like normal cctv cameras, only instead of watching your auntie Maria’s store in the neighbourhood, it’s making sure nothing blows up or consumed by some notorious unnamed space monster…that sort of thing.
That was a big OOPS for us on Terra and our new friends over on Malicore, the planet adjacent to us that Serilia muttered at during my reincarnation like a broken record - “Weren’t supposed to know each other existed.”
There's something of a list that the gods agreed on though it is mostly focused on Heavenly Rule Numero Uno: They cannot join the space club until they earn the privilege to do so.
Serilia and the other gods claimed they ‘gave their all’ to fix the hot mess but I'm not buying it.
“Terrahuumes, my beloved bunch, you were destined for eternal peace. I made your world soft as mallow after I spent a few million years getting over my ex-Mark and creating some rather unhospitable locales. "C’mon Lia I cannot keep showing you how to fix the CCTV, Lia, you do not have to worry about Mel Belpheen from Godly Relations she’s just a friend, it was rude not to comment on her Astralgram page” Serilia bellowed without a pause.
Obviously, I have no idea what any of this means and since the great and mighty rebuilt me starting with my ears, THEN proceeded to knit the pieces together leaving my mouth until the end, I couldn’t exactly ask what any of that meant.
Who would have thought the gods hand knitted all the races.
The gods had a club in the far-FAR back days, every third Muundeh throughout the year, where they built up thousands of us at a time, eventually planting them down to go off their merry way
Slowly my vision returned. The walls, floors, and the ceilings, they shifted, twisted, and turned continuously. These were not meant for ‘simpletons’ viewing.
The only thing in the room not making me want to impale myself eyes first, was the curious golden tin floating mid-air. It radiated, a gentle glowing warmth as it was opening and closing. When I was functional enough to move a little, I glided over to take a better look. Some sort of branding on the side of it:
‘Piripirihelios Inc – suns out, buns out.’
Serilia noticed my gaze and bellowed
“PiriPirihelios was the name of my cousin, genius designer but a meanie to be around. The aftermath of an Omega tier giant star going supernova from one of his drunk party games gave out some fantastic materials. Stardust made needles and threads were what allowed us gods to make every race across the cosmos isn’t that amazing!"
Sure isn’t! it’s not easy hearing your entire existence was hand built by nut jobs I thought.
“Well now you are all ready to go my special little sausage, make sure to accept your newfound gift before you leave, the nice shiny sentient system 2.0… new and improved, go on start selecting!”
A blue window formed and grew in front of my eyes. It began scanning; eventually causing little boxes to automatically fill it up with stats and descriptions. Like one of those equipment screens characters in an RPG. Hmm, Name…
Examining myself, it was noticeable for sure; I’m looking a little more athletic and packing a little less festive girth around the waist since I was rebuilt.
How could this look down the line? Hovering over the screen and pressing various buttons. Hmm esquire class – used swords and shields, sounds kinda cool.
Remembering everything that had led up to this point however. Nah, I'm good I thought. Taking deep breaths- In…out….in…out.
“I cannot accept this; I just want my normal life back” The words sternly exit my mouth.
“I just died, then was rebuilt before my own eyes and now I feel pressured into going along with the idea of a superpower, sorry, this ‘sentient system’ on me?
The goddess: Serilia, was surprised by my words. I think it would seem; this is the first time one of their creations had refused a gift of the gods.
“Sweetie, you must, there won’t be a soul on Maliterr without a serious advantage over you, and I’m the divine entity, I made you, so just accept the changes, or I’ll be mad!
“No." I retorted like a petulant teenager. And followed up with -
"I’m not getting myself mixed up in this nonsense, next time we meet it will be because I’ve lived a normal life and died of NATURAL causes.
As if the startled turned sour appearance was not enough, her face contorted into a spectacularly terrifying and twisted grin and the prospect of going into round two was on the horizon. I’m standing my ground here I screamed internally.
“Look your almightiness, I was never special before and I’d like to keep it that way, the milestone life you know? Reaching the age of thirty with my hair still intact or retiring at the age of sixty-five with my back fully functioning, I’ll stay out of trouble and if it finds me, well then, we’ll have a good laugh over it.” I said.
“Fine… Terrahuum” she said quiet and emotionless. the goddess looked at me with a surprisingly neutral look on her face, less pleasant than before.
“I will send you back” transporting us to a large room full of grand and expensive looking white and gold marbled pillars, which in the centre of the room lay a glowing turquoise circle upon a stone platform. “Once you step through, you’ll return be on Maliterr, the old worlds Terra and Malicore are one now, several lands have been replaced or relocated, so it will take a little time getting used to it all” she said in a soft and comforting voice yet still appearing without emotion.
I nodded to her which ended up appearing more like a bow and she returned the action reluctantly it seemed. Touching the circle, I at once blacked out. And when I awoke, I found myself on Maliterr the newly formed world in the two thousand forty.
There are four regions. To the cold mountainous north. Live most of the Dornam or SUDS of beaches as I prefer to call em. Like elves from my childhood fantasy media: Fat, bearded, short and artless or Lùthless as I should say, almost forgot about the sharp talon-like hands too.
They're a technologically advanced bunch with frat boy and sorority girl personalities.
To the flattened farm-like west are the more Lùth and craft focused Hankae. They look a little like Terrahuums, though taller, slender, have odd pointy ears and in addition to being born with odd birthmarks on their left hand that supposedly signify a particular specialty in an element, though I doubt that it’s true.
They are a little bit like that famous teenager, Lari Bopper and the Sorcerers side room of the hallowed prisoner goblet pt - I, II, III.
To the East live the Three-Tribe Koan, living in a fairytale creature land with the dazzling animal-like populations and the multi-coloured forests dotted around the place.
Koanor are broad and bird-like with feathers giving natural gliding benefits they tend to be more involved in the service industry, butlers, and chefs, that sort of thing.
Koanit are short dumpy, looking like giant brown Chinchillas that are notoriously durable little blighters and tend to be in the craft and exploration trade.
Koanei, are split into two subgroups. The Felidhan tend to focus on frontline fighting, they’re bigger, muscular, and more suited to those types of ways of living, whilst the Huundhan are more averse to the long-distance archer types being slenderer and hypersensitive to sight smell and sounds.
I think the coolest thing about Koan lands, is that Colossi living just outside the main city. Over one hundred foot in height and probably wide I think, I was never the best with mathematics.
Super convenient those Colossi don’t eat us, synthphotosis I’m told it’s called is the primary way they obtain energy. They get nutrients from the BOF that’s “Big orange friend” according to the Impies or “Sun” according to the rest of us. And it is a blessing they happen to be vegetarians.
Oh yeah the south - The Tusen Atoll’s. Home to Scaly Scaq’s and boring Huumes and us Terrahuums. No difference between us, but we get neat little H and TH tattoos to show off. And the Scaq…well they come in various shades: Green, dark green, light green…in-between greens…saw a red and blue together once.
“Thanks for the history lesson, but can you just get this over with already? I’d rather meet the maker again than listen to the SHART coming out of your yapper anymore.” The brave little Hankae bandit said.
I look the poor bugger in the eye, a kick to the thigh goes his way to remind him he’s in no position to talk and he yelps in pain.
“Oof, ya bugger!” the bandit replied.
I bet you are struggling to understand what’s happening so far, don’t worry, you wouldn’t be the first, and now you know how I felt when it all happened.
My closest friend Wardi, tall, broad shouldered and dark haired, the ladies loved him back home from the old world, romance wasn't his thing though.
He received the gift of The Scale from goddess Librata. Enabling him to figure out the morality of one’s actions, words, crimes you name it, gives a blessing or curse to the target depending on the outcome.
I forgot to give the fine print my bad. These godly gifts well... through trial and error we realised that they are not usually beneficial, thought that is because the activation requirements on at least half are random. Wardi’s requirement; a really large blood donation to power its activation.
He overcomes this by keeping a flask of “Bosh” as he likes to call it. He makes a small donation to it occasionally for when he does need to use it without causing himself any negative effect. Never a pretty sight catching him midway refilling.
Rhua was another friend from the old world. She was in the marketing department at work, so we did not see cross paths that often. Always took the time to sit with me and Wardi during lunch breaks, even more so after we found out she was a game nut.
Scanger – God of social relations, gifted her the Caller. It’s been seven years and STILL, she doesn’t know how to even use it. The only information it provides is:
*Requires a collective to use’ in addition under ‘Cosmic Union Law act of 42069 BC, Caller will not function on weekdays or the holidays* I'm telling you, the divine entities should be made to take IQ tests before they are given positions of power, who makes stuff like that a thing!
The first of my our friends we made from Malicore was: Horace Van Sjokkolade Edelweiss Jones. If blokes were a drink, he would probably be the most top bloke in the world. If you can think it, he can sniff it out, plants, food, metals, minerals, gems. Yes, I do mean literally sniff it out, and no Horace is not a Huundhan. Ok, well he is half, but that’s not the point. The god Fenreer gifted him the power of the seeker.
He's got the only consistently useful gift among my group but it has on occasion gotten us into encounters.
Like that one time we were hired to partake in a foraging request on the Barrow plains of Gilia and then these bandits just showed up demanding “Everything we got unless you wanna taste cold steel.”
I took that personal and punched the beard off the shortest dude there… oh wait that’s now!
