So anyway, as I was saying… or was it doing? It doesn’t matter really, all you need to know is, ‘this guy are sick’ and needs purifying through my fists.

  I gave the guy a swift kick to the shin. He leaned forward from the pain, then a swift jab and uppercut and he crumbles like a sack of tatoes. The trick is to always go for the arts users. Once in melee range, those victory poses are practically on your door step after a smack or two.

  "Don’t be a very naughty boy and break the law in the future” I said. The bandit was already out, but you never know if they can still hear subconsciously. I turned and began walking back to Wardi smashing my fists together grinning

  Wardi, having already finished off his solo performance ‘Fantastic feats and how to slice them’ he calls it. Watched my usual victory fanfare and tried to hold back a smile, how can anyone not appreciate these moves.

  Rhua and Horace have their own variant, the high five jive. They link arms, jig in a circle, then high five at the end. Simple AND effective what more could you want, though Rhua absolutely hates it, and her face always says, ‘Kill me now.’

  “Well troops, that’s another group of idiots taken down by the dream team” Wardi said.

  “It’s been a while…SINCE WE’VE HAD…a clash with … SENTIENTS…and not a bunch of nasty critters” Horace piped.

  Horace the poor bugger, fried his noggin whilst trying out a new ranged weapon he developed called an ‘Unhappy Deal’ a highly fermented non-lethal food-based projectile -combining his alchemy and culinary skills through the system into a munition.

  Unfortunately, he didn’t think “Maybe, I should do this thing outside”?

  He’s fine overall, just unable to go through a normal conversation anymore. The rollercoaster ride of his soft speaking and operatic shouting at the peak scares away most you see. A medicae we spoke to once called it “Self-inflicted Choral Tourette Implementation Condition” or “Sic-Tic’s” as we jokingly call it.

  Wardi scanned the area, just to be sure nothing else wanted to have a try at us. “Rare for bandits to even be in the Gilia region” his face turning into a slight look of concern.

  “Particularly when there’s nothing of worth unless you focused on the darkened side of the system pathways” Rhua quickly followed on with.

  “It’s not too uncommon for a foraging request to end up this way, it’s one of the few places Mushay can thrive after all. What with it being the designated burial spot virtually all the races on Maliterr use, it's a nutrient hotspot.” Wardi continued saying.

  “You could say…THIS PLACE…is for …FUNGOIZ’S” Horace interjected causing us all to laugh

  Wardi tried his best to rally us but it was no good.

  “Let’s pull ourselves together troops heh heh.” Wardi is always the first to try to keep things ticking over, hard to take him serious when he’s still keeled over chuckling to himself though.

  “Ok, that’s enough excitement.” Rhua said, pinching her arm snapping back to her normal self.

  I pulled out the request poster ‘Collect one hundred Mushay, 10000 HFC reward – Brewmeister Barry’. “Do we really need to gather that many, It’s usually around six maybe seven right? What is Barry up to; nobody needs this many."

  “This is the sixth time we’ve done this now right as well? I’ll make a note of it in the system journal” Rhua says, then begins staring off into the distance whilst her arms and hands move around as if they are independent from her body. The other two did the same for a moment.

  “Not, bad. We’ll be level 21 soon too.” Said Wardi. Horace said HECK yeah!" Looking at his own.

  I’ve said it before, but that’s going to be fatal for someone if it already hasn’t been. Just because you can still hear what’s happening around you doesn’t mean anything against users with stealth focused abilities. A familiar thought that I won’t say aloud, because it wouldn’t be the first time.

  We split the gathering duty equally, and it takes us no more than few ticks to collect all one hundred Mushay. Easy picking when they're is just an endless amount to grab in one hand.

  “Well, looks like we’re all done here, want to do the honours as usual dear?” Wardi says looking in my direction.

  “Certainly hun.” I reply with.

  Now, with everything you’ve read so far, you’re probably thinking ‘They’re going perform some sort of spell to just teleport and save us several pages of filler dialogue right’? No.

  The port and go network has been out of action since Colossi – Bompeeoh walked through a fair few kilometres of energy pylons, which formerly powered the Okaasan shard that allowed teleportation between the major cities.

  Castle Un Nom Générique and its illiterate and dumb soldiers went and disconnected the Pyrocell battery powering his outdoor cooking stove, not thinking perhaps a bunch of cooking equipment bigger than most houses may not be a clever idea.

  Protesting in a terribly angry manner that I’m told “Could be heard all the way to Castle Schloss seventy-seven km or so apart.”

  “Touch my stove again and I’ll chin you AND your mum King Blau!”

  I know I said the colossi can end us but don’t, it’s usually because nobody does anything to cause upset to them in the first place.

  Anyway, due to the Trades act of circa 2042; ‘All work and repairs are to be carried out by the original party, parties or manufacturers without exception, and through the original method of delivery’. Due to budget constraints, Okaasan Inc couldn’t afford professional electricians who would have dug the cabling underground.

  Instead, they used interns from legal and race relations departments to connect the network originally, who connected the entire network above ground open to the elements, villains … and upset Colossi of course. Out of action since 2046.

  Ok I’m sorry about that, this next bit will be cool though. I pull out a slingshot from my carry bag, this isn’t just any slingshot though…THIS is a G&S slingshot. An enchanted slingshot that grow’s to fit more humanoid sized bullets or passengers in our case.

  It’s much a much more fun way to traverse the new world. The slingshot embeds itself into the ground and Wardi gets into position first, followed by Horace and then Rhua. I get into my position next to Wardi, and the sling begins drawing itself back. Once it’s locked onto the target destination, a voice from the device tells us to say the release command when ready.

  “Don’t you bloody play it” Rhua barks at the three of us angrily.

  Rules are rules, you can’t stop a power like this, and I say “ready.” the device counts down, ten, nine, eight. Nodding to Horace and Wardi.

  “Without a further ado, G&S would like to welcome you on board with some in-flight entertainment sing along if you know the words” I said in a nasally voice.

  We hear the final seconds, three, two, and we’re launched up high in the sky and the mega music box I pulled out and activated from my travel bag erupts into a booming symphony with singing and instruments from a faraway land.

  SORAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

  We’re hand in hand, traversing the land.

  On adventures we, shall goooo oh-oh!

  Our two worlds collide, lost in a fire, never to return. But the gods they came for us. To right a wrong and fix the unjust. So, let’s show them what we, got-got-got!

  SORAAAAAAAAAAAAA

  The story’s never over, there’s love here like no other.

  United! We stand!

  United! We stand!

  You and me, my friends!

  …I forgot to mention before take-off, G&S slingshots come sold with a matching G&S landing pad, ‘if it ain’t a G&S landing pad, you’re probably already dead.’ I set up the pad before we travelled.

  This text was taken from Royal Road. Help the author by reading the original version there.

  The location? Barry’s shop building ‘A bottle or two LTD’ if we’re going to take a multi-day journey, we may as well return the fastest feasible way coming back.

  Rhua, now that we have landed. Gives me a look to say, ‘One day son, I’m going to cut you. You and all your future children.'

  “Let’s just get these damn Mushay to Barry already.” Rhua says after she averts her piercing gaze back to the foraging bags Wardi has stacked outside the storefront.

  “Be fine where they are pet, I know you lot well” Short and mighty, stout yet with a cheeky vitality and mohawk capable of plucking an eye out without warning. Meet Barry ‘Brewmeister’ Bernard, ranked number one on the list of Maliterr’s nuttiest bastard awards.

  Baroness Areya of Coch Manor decided it was her right to expand the Manor reach into the neighbouring lands. But trying to force that on Hawkestown… well let’s just say Barry took it upon himself to make a point, by turning into a biological wrecking ball.

  The smell beforehand was bad enough: Farm-like, with a hint of cheese that had been growing between one’s toes. But you’d think he would have tried cleaning the bottles out after he finished with his solo rampage. The shop stank for days; and he did too.

  “Hiya Barry, how are you doing mate? Wardi says with professional yet casual undertones in his voice.

  “Aye, pretty good thanks for asking pet, you’re back in one piece so I can assume you’re doing alreet ya self mun heh-heh” Barry chuckles to himself. “I’m glad ya here, head down to the basement though… there’s a little summit ya need hearing.” he says still smiling the entire time. See! I said he was a nutter didn’t I.

  “I hav-ta admit, I hav-given yaz a bit of a lengthy and pointless request, don’t get me wrong, it’s not like I wanted to, but something’s been amiss for a while up on them plains, and I had a suspicion when Mushay started growing more frequently than they should be."

  Barry continues his relentless speech “You know these Fungoiz only release reproductive spores when the root meets a particular stone called Vechisia in the ground. “This stuff is rare, kinda thing we av big clashes over when it’s found…Mushay shouldn’t be popping up as fast they are. As ya all know, most of the materials or mats as we call em these days, that adventurers like yourselves go out seeking from: treasure chests, gathering or through having a fight with the local wildlife. How often do you come across a mat, which has purpose across multiple disciplines?"

  “When you mention it…” Rhua chimes in with, before the word vomit continues.

  “Moithril sort of can do this within smithing and construction disciplines, but Vechisia, that stuff makes moithril look tame. I’ve learned through my own little experimentation there’s a hell of a lot more to this stuff… you remember my little day trip to Castle Coch?” he finished saying with a grin.

  “WHO DOESN’T!” Horace sings aloud like a one-man choir”

  “I had been working on a new debuff potion, like our Horace’s non-lethal weaponry” Barry said.

  “Figured there’s definitely a market fa summit mad like this, so I experimented by making a non-lethal itching potion as me first project, but low and behold Horace had mixed up my ingredient draws and instead I managed to make something unfamiliar, it shifted colours of its own accord.” Barry said with a cheeky grin on his face finishing his talking.

  We all suddenly had the same thought of “shifting colours!?” looking at each other with concern.

  “Aye, always returning to a distinctive iridescent Amber colour though” Barry said whilst he used his ascertain art to identify what he added and conjured the list in the air for us all to see:

  *One vial of Draig blood, heated to 500c, stirred not shaken.

  Three elder ent lumber, taken before autumnal senescence.

  Three pairs of LocoLoco feet sourced ethically.

  Nanna’s twinned needles – used with love.

  Seven Autom hearts maintained at -44c.

  Vechisia stone. *

  Rhua couldn’t help but speak out “Hey, each of those are the primary ingredient for the highest possible potions in their class, right? Draig blood for strength, Ent lumbers for wisdom, LocoLoco feet for agility, twin needles for dexterity and Autom Hearts for Vitality”

  Barry replied, “That they are.”

  “Then what did the Vechisia do exactly? Rhua replied with.

  “Something I daren’t think would be possible” he said to her, his tone turning more worrying by the second. It’s what allowed me to do what I did with Coch manor … no way could I have, without taking super hard to make potions like that…the Vechisia stone seemed to function as an adaptogen.”

  “Adapo-what?” Wardi said with his raised brow.

  “It’s summat tha I thought up, it responds to what you need.” He said to us continuing his repeated verbal attacks.

  “It amplified the intended effects each ingredient specialises in - I should be dead by all counts, but! The amplification sent me whole being into overdrive! Tore the front gate off with my bare hands! And then the idea popped into my head…run fast, then curl into a ball aiming at the walls and I found myself ricochet-ing around completely unharmed!”

  Edge Lord is the only sentient known to have even done any damage to that damn manor and he was fully enhanced when he struck it, I thought to myself.

  “Queen Areya used her infamous dead shot ability when I stopped to appreciate the work I did. Her conjured arrow was bigger and wider than me, and I watched the whole thing in slow motion as the speed effects really kicked in.”

  Barry stretched upwards before continuing. “The arrow hit me between the eyes and there wasn’t a mark on me.”

  “A recipe for disaster if anyone thinks to use in a more nefarious way.” I said aloud, trying to sound comical as I do. But having heard what I just heard, I don’t think I can hide it at all.

  Remember when I just wanted normality in my life? I sighed out my thought.

  “Well, this is definitely not how I saw my day unfolding” Wardi says holding his hand over his eyes.

  “Something or someone has been stock piling Vechisia stones on the plains Barry says. “Whatever the intentions, it needs resolving, so I’ll set out a request, with a heck of a big reward for finishing it.”

  I try to begin speaking about Barry's request. An overwhelming force takes over my body. Unlike the speech curse, this one feels different. I find myself stumbling backwards, losing all feeling and sense of control as I’m rushed by my party members who are trying to aid me in my sudden seizure, my vision splitting in two.

  My friends are aiding me in my left field of vision. The right? I see Serilia and the major gods, there are minor ones in the chamber, so near, yet so far at the same time. Yet I hear everything…I’ve not once encountered anything like this, nor have I ever heard whispers or talk of such a thing either.

  At the round table – The spectator relished.

  There is a bright room, filled with crystals and figures. The seven of dawn, gathered around a large dark wooden table. The sermon of the dawn is singing aloud:

  “Serilia, almighty and most graceful of all. First of the heavenly realm and head of the table.

  Eria the logic, second of the gods. She giveth her lifeblood for the races to conjure.

  Iwan the Gaia, third of the gods. He giveth his lifeblood for the crops to grow.

  Chanag the Aqua, fourth of the gods. She giveth her lifeblood to let water flow.

  Aricaer the Ignis, fifth of the gods. He giveth his lifeblood to govern the forge.

  Nellah the Gale, sixth of the gods. She giveth her lifeblood to move the skies.

  Tyrokun the keeper, seventh of the gods. He giveth his lifeblood to maintain the writings.

  The figures in the room cry out in union, the sermon has been the same since the beginning, of all that has, was and ever will be.

  “You must now witness your return in motion youngling” A voice in my mind spoke softly.

  “The incident should not have occurred! boomed Serilia causing the attendees much hurt as they dropped to the floor by her voice alone.

  “A failure on the CCTV has led to the cardinal rule breaking!” In an instant, all including the fellow gods at the table fell to their knees in agony as she let out a flash of pure white light from her eyes.

  A young god in training or G.I.T as the dawn have named them so, piped up, “Almighty one, please, forgive me, it was but a moment that I did not have attention, my utmost attention to the happening!” He sobbed aloud.

  Another white flash and the room filled with cries, cries that were shaking the realm in pain.

  “Silence you WORTHLESS CRETIN.” “DO NOT SPEAK, I SHALL SAY WHEN YOU SPEAK.” She barked at the youngling god.

  The room is becoming further away suddenly, and my vision turns black. Suddenly I am there again, running and looking back at scenes of the seven, who are unleashing vicious attacks to the attendees.

  “I don’t understand!” raced through my mind

  "You must keep watching youngling.” The voice in my head says and more scenes upon scenes appear, they must be occurring through different meetings I thought.

  I hear the speaking again eventually, yet it seems it is a later date and time. There are even more attendees in this meeting. I see one that seems to be smiling… a smile that is piercing me and sending chills.

  Serilia began speaking again “Maliterr has formed, and the peoples will be reborn anew, let what happened be a lesson to the importance of the CCTV, I do not wish for another occasion like it to ever happen again.” she says with a cold tone, one that says, “If you fail me death will be swift.”

  Her face lights up literally, the room in turn, suddenly feels on a high.

  “One of her many powers the voice whispers to me, do not fall for it." The voice whispers to me

  A figure, proceeds forward and speaks to the goddess.

  “Serilia your divine almightiness, wouldn’t it be great to add unfamiliar ideas in the mix? I had an idea for a feature, a rather bold one in fact. perhaps you would like to hear about it?” leaving no time for a response and simply continued to talk to her.

  “I had this idea, in which we generate little areas. Randomly in their formations, some are to be filled with slayable monsters, maybe others require carrying out a set of duties to clear, perhaps one of these areas, contains a lone foe, one that is unlike any other, requiring a combined effort with many users all partaking to successfully obtain a reward.”

  They continued speaking “Of course, we could automate when and where such a thing could happen for, we are, the masters of all are we not?” the figure said.

  “Don’t make anything too over the top Phahl, Godly relations is furious still over the state of the world merger, never in all their existence has something so obscene occurred.” Bellowed Serilia

  Phahl responded “Of course divine one, I would never dare to include something that would be...fatal.”

  Serilia replied to him after a short pause

  “Phahl, for a G.I.T consider me impressed by such a fine display of forward thinking, but if I find its causing issues for my precious little ones when they’re brought back, I’ll take it right away.”

  “We mere younglings, sing your praise dear Serilia” Phahl replied.

  He quickly vanishes to a dark room with nothing of note around except a small stone stage which he stood upon. A dim candle began illuminating his area. I am in the body of a robed figure, surrounded by others like me and bowing in his presence.

  “Phahl returns unto us, glory be to Kaiser, glory be to KAISER!” They chant.

  “Let the games begin comrades! he shouts to them.

  “Go forth, let the darkness entwine you fate denier” the voice echoed out