Chapter 11

  Once again my sleep was better. That time, I didn’t dream or recall anything at all. It was just blackness, and then AI woke me up.

  I heard AI’s firm voice, “Andrew.”

  I breathed out and I mumbled, “Right… right, I'm getting up.”

  I took the blanket off and slowly started sitting up. I froze when I was fully sat up… because it didn't hurt at all. The entire action was… painless.

  I quickly turned to AI on the tablet, “AI… there was no pain sitting up. Like… at all!”

  She smiled at me as she gave me two thumbs up, “Excellent. We will need your pain to be as little as possible, to maximise how far you can train today, Andrew.”

  I nodded, “It’s going to be brutal… but if there’s a chance that it might work, then I have to take it, AI.”

  She nodded, “Of course. I predict that you will battle today. Yet I know you… you are going to give it your all. That is what makes you incredible my friend… your relentless determination.”

  I reached over and gentle ran the back of my finger over her, “Right… I’d better get ready.”

  I got dressed quickly, and I still felt no pain. Even putting on the jeans wasn’t uncomfortable. I couldn’t believe how much better I felt.

  I turned to her, “I need to tell you… I’m still not feeling pain, AI.”

  She looked at me sadly, “Maybe… maybe you should not train today… maybe just wait one more day, for you to enjoy this feeling?”

  I walked to the tablet, and I ran the back of my finger over her gently, “No, AI. This is important to me. No but’s and if’s… let’s go and see if I really can get better, like Michael believes I can.”

  She looked at me with a worried look, “Ok, Andrew. I just want you to be happy.”

  I nodded, “I know AI, thank you.”

  I walked out my bedroom and into the living room. Ashley and Michael were sitting and drinking coffee. They looked up as I entered.

  Michael smiled as he spoke excitedly, “Your posture… your face!”

  Ashley bolted up and closed the distance, “Now, Andrew, you really need to see this!”

  I growled through my clenched teeth, “Fine…”

  She took a photo of my face with her phone and looked at it for a moment, before turning the phone to show me. I looked at the photo… and I instantly saw what she was talking about. I looked over it for a moment, my cold green eyes, scruffy brown hair, stubble on the chin and two obvious scars in a cross pattern.

  I struggled to even talk, “My face… the scars aren’t pink at all… my eyes… there aren’t dark circles from lack of sleep…”

  Ashley’s voice was ecstatic, “Andrew… you’re look so much better! This is fantastic!”

  Michael stood up and came to inspect my face up close, and he smiled gloriously as he did.

  He put his hands on my shoulders, “Already… time is beginning to heal you, Andrew. I’m so proud of you right now. This is such a meaningful improvement.”

  He gave me a hug and I couldn’t lie; I felt good. I might even say, I was damn close to feeling… happy… but not yet… not yet.

  I pushed myself out of the hug, “Let’s go… it’s time.”

  He nodded, as Ashley grabbed the keys and tossed me the headphones. I caught them, surprisingly. She stopped to appreciate that fact, before she opened the door and walked out of the apartment. I put the headphones on and walked out behind her.

  During the drive, AI was on the car's infotainment screen, talking energetically as Michael was moving his arms around a lot in excitement, and even Ashley was smiling and nodding in agreement. Naturally, I couldn’t hear what they were saying, but I was quite interested to know what they were saying.

  We entered the foyer of the HQ, and the sliding door closed behind us. The foyer was packed with people, as it was 7:40 AM, and their orders weren’t in yet. I took off the headphones and turned around.

  I asked with genuine curiosity, “What were you all talking about? Did something good happen?”

  Michael smiled at me, “Andrew, do me a favour, walk to the lady at the counter over there please.”

  I looked at Michael with frustration, that he didn’t answer the question. I turned around and walked to the counter. When I reached the counter, the foyer had gone dead quiet. I turned to see what had happened, when I saw that everyone was looking at me, with very happy faces!

  I looked around, “What? Can someone tell me why everyone is so happy?”

  AI appeared on the large screens above the foyer, “Andrew, I recorded that. Please watch.”

  I looked up and a video played, taken from one of the cameras in the foyer, looking down at me, zoomed in. I saw myself walking to the counter… wait a minute.

  I struggled to speak, “I… I wasn’t limping… I just walked… like normal…”

  AI appeared on the screen again, “Andrew… I am so proud of you. I recorded that and it will be stored permanently. I will never forget this precious memory of you walking in this building, for the first time… gracefully.”

  I stood there, completely stunned. I started walking around, looking down at my body as I did so. It was normal… totally normal! I stopped walking as I found myself getting very emotional. I looked at the floor as tears began dripping from my eyes.

  I buried my face in my hands, “I can’t believe it… I never thought I would ever…”

  Near me, I heard someone start clapping, then another… and before I knew it, the whole foyer was giving me a round of applause. I looked up and saw everyone was standing to cheer for me and I cried even harder.

  AI spoke out loud, “We have all seen how hard it was for you to walk beforehand, Andrew. I truly am so proud of you.”

  Michael came over and hugged me, “That’s why we were so excited. Andrew, I’m feeling incredibly hopeful right now. I really do believe you're going to become strong again.”

  The sliding doors for the Inner Roses hall opened, and Aisling and Nadia came quickly walking out. They looked at me and beckoned me to go to them. I walked to them, and before I had even reached them… they were smiling with pure joy.

  Aisling beamed her iconic smile, “Andrew! Oh my God… that’s the most incredible thing I’ve seen in months!”

  Nadia hugged me, “You just made my week…”

  Aisling looked at me and covered her mouth in surprise, “And your face!”

  I nodded, “Yeah… I’m actually healing.”

  Aisling regained her composure, “See… there’s hope for you yet, my saviour. You’re going to make it; we’ve got your back! So go and train… and remember how far you’ve gotten, before you feel depressed with how much farther you still must go.”

  I nodded, and Nadia finally let go of me. The two looked at me with wonder, as they beamed their gloriously hopeful smiles. They hesitated as they turned and walked back to the hall... I guess they didn’t want to go back to the hall at that moment. I looked down at my hands… they weren’t shaking. I felt such incredible hope… I felt… strong.

  Michael walked to me, putting his hand on my shoulder, “Ready?”

  I turned to face him, “Yeah. No matter how hard this first session will be… I feel hopeful now, more hopeful than I've ever felt before.”

  He smiled, “Good, then lead the way.”

  I walked to the passage that led to either the gym or the cafe. As I did so, I heard more clapping and even a “Woo!”. I walked down the passage, enjoying the reasonable walking speed I was managing. I got to the split, and enthusiastically turned to the right.

  I spoke quietly to myself, “Down there… a place I’ve dreamed of entering, ever since I first came here…”

  Ashley nudged me, “Then don’t waste a single moment more. Walk through the doors and commit to a better you.”

  I nodded and walked through the sliding doors. The gym was… Massive, unsurprisingly. There was a huge swimming pool in the centre, surrounded by different exercise machines. I looked up, to realise there were actually three levels in the gym!

  I found myself saying out loud, “Wow… that’s impressively big.”

  Ashley chuckled, “You really need to stop saying shit like that… that’s what she said.” She winked.

  I stopped to think about it, “Oh… yeah, I get that one, my bad.”

  Michael laughed out loud as he walked in front of me and turned around. He looked at me with a deadly serious face, “Andrew, your fitness levels are abysmal. If I said one out of ten, that would even be too generous…”

  I folded my arms, “Thanks… I can always count on my family to cheer me up.”

  He shook his head, “No, I’m telling you this, because Andrew… you can’t use nearly all these machines yet. They’ll probably hurt you… “

  I felt deflated, “Oh… Then what can I use?”

  He instantly answered, “The treadmill.”

  I nodded, “Ok, then let’s not waste any time.”

  He looked at me, waiting for me to move. The problem was… I didn’t know what a treadmill was. I had never used gym equipment before…

  I slowly and awkwardly asked, “So… which one is a treadmill?”

  He looked at me surprised, “Which one?... oh. Sorry mate… I keep forgetting.” He awkwardly scratched the back of his head for a moment.

  He walked over to the machine and pointing to it. He waved me over and I walked up to it, looking at how it was shaped. I looked at him, hoping he would explain how I was to use it.

  He pointed to a mat looking part, “Ok, so you stand on the flat bit, here. Then, if you look over here, there’s a screen that shows you the controls. With this screen, you control the speed of the moving bit that moves backwards. You can also adjust some other things, but for now, I’ll demonstrate how it works.”

  He reached over and pushed a few buttons; the machine beeped every time he touched the screen. He pushed one last button and suddenly the mat started spinning backwards. I looked at it, still wondering how I was to use it.

  His voice was patient, “Watch, I’ll show you.”

  He climbed onto it and walked in the direction of the control screen. I then realised how he was walking forward, but not actually going anywhere. Very clever!

  “Ooooooh.” I said, as the understanding dawned on me.

  He pushed a button, and the floor immediately stopped moving. He got off and gestured for me to get on it. I didn’t hesitate, I instantly took a step onto it and looked at the screen. He pointed at different parts of the screen, explaining what each one did.

  He then looked at me with intense seriousness, “And remember… this is serious, so pay attention… when you need to stop, there’s a red button over here. You push that, and it’ll stop moving, ok?”

  I looked at the button, pointing at it to show him that I knew where it was. He nodded with a smile, “Ok Andrew. When you’re ready, start it on level one.”

  I confirmed on the control screen that it was set to level one, and I pushed the green “Start” icon. Immediately the floor started slowly moving me backwards. I was kind of surprised by how instantly it started moving. I started walking forward, trying to time my steps so that I was walking faster than it moved backwards.

  Michael smiled at me, “There you go! And so, it begins. How does it feel?”

  I kept walking as I looked forward, focusing on my steps, “It’s strange, but I feel ok so far.”

  He nodded, “Naturally, you have literally just started. I don’t expect you will last long… just remember that red button, ok?”

  I nodded as I walked. I stopped thinking so hard about my steps and just let my body do it automatically. I found myself thinking that it didn’t feel too hard at all… and as soon as I thought that… my old friend pain suddenly showed up. I hit the red button, and the floor stopped.

  He looked disappointed, “Ok… it was less than I thought, but you still did well.”

  I stared at the controls, “No, Michael, I’m not done…”

  He sounded worried, “Oh… then why did you stop it?”

  I turned to look him straight in the eye, “Because… Michael, you know what is going to happen… right?”

  He looked away sadly, “... Yeah.”

  I spoke loudly, “AI… You know what is going to happen as well, right?”

  AI spoke through my hearing aids, “Yes, Andrew… I do.”

  I nodded sadly… and then turned to Ashley. She was smiling at me, but she also looked a little confused.

  I looked down at the floor, “Ashley… I think I want you to leave now, please.”

  She looked at me in surprise, “What? … come on, afraid of a girl laughing at you?”

  I stared at her for a long moment, “This is going to get ugly, Ashley. I… don’t quit easily.”

  She looked at me annoyed, “Ok, so what, you’ll cry?”

  I stared right into her eyes, “Yes… and then I’ll scream.”

  She froze on the spot. I thought she had realised what I was trying to say.

  Her voice became soft, “You’re going to go all the way…”

  I nodded, “Yeah.”

  She looked up at me and she had her wicked smile again, “Ok, thanks for the warning, consider me prepared.”

  With that said, I looked at Michael. He nodded, and I nodded back. AI whispered in my ear, “Strength my friend… strength.”

  I pushed the button to start the machine, and as I walked, the pain gradually started ramping up. I could feel my muscles tensing up, as the pain grew. My breaths were becoming shorter and shorter.

  It became harder to take more steps, as I slowly started moving backwards. I didn’t realise how little floor I had left, before my foot fell, making me lose my balance. I fell backwards and slammed the ground hard.

  I tried to cover my mouth before the pain kicked in… the scream followed, as my body curled up into a ball. A wave of agony washed over me as my hands failed to silence my screaming.

  Ashley quickly crouched down to try and help, but Michael slapped her hand away. She turned to him in shock, as she tried to understand his objection.

  His face was furious, “Don’t you dare even think about it, Ash…”

  She looked at him in horror, “Look at him, he’s in pain Michael!”

  He pointed at her, “He warned you… you should have listened to him!”

  She shouted back at him, “So what, you want me to do nothing?”

  He leaned closer to her and spoke deeply, “This is Andrew's training… the ball is in his court, he decides what is too much and what is too little. When he wants help, he will ask.”

  My screaming finally died down, as I rocked back and forth on the floor, waiting for the pain to ease back down to a manageable level. It took a few minutes… but I finally caught my breath, and slowly started sitting up.

  Ashley sounded hysterical, “Wait… you’re not going to… go back on, are you?”

  I managed to get myself standing up, “... How long did I manage to last then?”

  Michael looked at the control screen, “Thirteen minutes… not bad.”

  I nodded, as I very slowly stepped back onto the treadmill. Ashley stared at me, as if I’d lost my mind.

  Her voice cracked with worry, “Andrew… what do you gain from continuing now? Please don’t do this…”

  I looked her in the eye, “I’m not just training my muscles, Ashley… I’m trying to train… myself. I need to learn to control the pain.” When I finished speaking, I pushed the green button.

  The floor moved slowly, and I slowly walked with it. At first, I was only just managing to keep pace, but the as the pain reached nine, I glanced at the control screen, 9 minutes 52 seconds… I fell off the machine again.

  I screamed… probably twice as loud as I did the first time. I didn’t have time to cover my mouth… so I imagined that everyone in the gym clearly heard me screaming. Waves of pain washed over me, as my body shook violently. I rocked back and forth… for what felt like an eternity, before I could finally think again.

  I looked up and I saw Michael standing there, his face looked emotionally devastated. Ashley had her face in her hands, as she faced the other direction from me. My breathing was very weak, and I was almost spent. Slowly and agonisingly, I stood myself up.

  I could hear Ashley whispering something, “You’re too strong for me… you’re just too strong for me…”

  I looked at her for a moment, as my hands shook uncontrollably. As I slowly and agonisingly fought to step onto the treadmill, I noticed that a crowd of people were watching me… their expressions were a blend of horror and shock. They realised the challenge I was undertaking and… it seemed like they were admiring me for my determination.

  I took a few weak breaths… I remembered that god damned wheelchair I was trapped in… I remembered being stuck in the hospital bed for weeks before that. The limited freedom that I fought so hard for… demanded that I tried my best. I looked at Michael, and he nodded sadly.

  AI whispered in my hearing aids, “You are stronger than any man, I will ever know.”

  I pushed the green icon… and the floor slowly moved once more. I heard Ashley begging Michael, but I chose to ignore it, as my vision started getting fuzzy. Despite my already high level of pain and knowing that I wouldn't be able to last long, I pushed myself to walk as long as I could. I heard a sound build up in the background, and I quickly looked up to see that the crowd was clapping for me, as they watched with respect, admiration and horror.

  I walked for what felt like an eternity, as the seconds started to feel like hours, and I tried to mentally prepare myself for the inevitable fall. My vision spun around, as I hit the ground… and hell itself swallowed me, as my vision went black.

  *

  I battled to open my eyes... There was a constant ringing noise in my ears, as if I’d been near an explosion. I saw the thin gym carpet in front of me… I saw Ashley on her knees, completely distraught. Michael hugged her, as she sobbed into his chest.

  I tried to breathe, but it was such a struggle. I felt something in my mouth, as I slowly swallowed it... oh, puke...

  My muscles were so tense, I couldn’t move at all. I was in the same state, as I was after my panic attack, a few days ago.

  I took a few pathetically weak breaths, before I managed to speak very quietly, “I’m… done…”

  I heard AI, “Andrew… incredible work.”

  Michael turned to me and quickly walked over. He kneeled to look me in my eyes, "Here, take the tablets."

  He put three tablets in my mouth, and I slowly managed to swallow them. He looked at me, his face torn with sadness, “I’ll take you to the ward here, until the pills take effect, ok?”

  I whispered, “... Ok…”

  He nodded as he tried to gently pick me up… but he knew as well as I did, that even picking me up would hurt. As soon as he lifted me up, I instinctively groaned aloud, as he gently whispered, “I know, Andrew… I know.”

  Every step he took, felt like an earthquake. Where his arms were, felt like lightning blasting me with electricity. Seconds felt like hours, as the ceiling moved in a blur… and suddenly, he was laying me down. He tried his hardest to gently turn me on to my side… and I screamed, as he moved my arms and legs into position. He managed to get me into a sideways posture… so all I had to do, was wait.

  I could hear Ashley arguing with Michael, “This is insanity! Why not just stop after the second fall? Why did you not stop him then?”

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  His voice sounded frustrated but also sad, “It’s a wall he can only break through, if he runs into it with all his might!”

  She sounded horrified, “You’re his family… look what you’ve done to him!”

  He snapped at her furiously, “Don’t you dare question my concern for him! He knew this was going to happen, it was his choice to go this far! I’m giving him all my support!”

  AI spoke from somewhere, “Ashley, he warned you. He very seriously told you, that it would be hard… please calm down. It was hard to watch, but this is how he will become the hero we all know he can be.”

  Ashley sounded panicked, “This is too much for me… I need to get out of here!” I heard her furious footsteps, as the door swung open and shut.

  A few minutes passed and I heard nothing, before Michael finally spoke.

  His voice cracked emotionally, “Did I fail, AI?... Was she right? Did I fail Andrew?”

  AI said nothing for a moment, “Of course you did not. We know him, he is stronger and more determined, than she realises.”

  I heard his heavy footsteps as he walked around the bed and appeared in my vision. He crouched down to my eye level and looked into my eyes. I saw the fear in his eyes.

  I slowly managed to whisper, “Thank… you… Michael…”

  He shook his head as he looked away in distress, “I knew how hard this was going to be… yet I still find myself struggling.”

  I weakly whispered, “You’re… my… hero…”

  His voice cracked, “Goddamn it, Andrew…” I could see how emotionally torn he was.

  The minutes slowly passed by, as waves of pain smashed into me. I was unable to move, as the horrible agony had its way with me. Just when I felt like I was going to lose consciousness… the warmth started to spread. It started in my stomach and slowly spread outwards. My muscles began relaxing… my vision became more focused… and my breathing became more frequent and deeper.

  Michael turned to me, for he heard my breathing change. He nodded as he saw my fingers slowly start to move. A few more minutes passed, before I slowly managed to sit up.

  I spoke softly, “It was exactly as bad as we thought it might be… but I have to know… how bad was the third try?”

  He whispered, “5 minutes 21 seconds.”

  I nodded, “Actually… I’m happy with that.”

  I slowly moved myself, until I was sitting on the side of the bed. I looked at Michael for a moment, as I thought of how he felt, of how hard it had been for him.

  I looked him in the eye, “Michael… will you smile for me please?”

  He sighed as he slowly shook his head. He leaned closer… and gently rest his head against my chest.

  I spoke quietly, “I heard your argument with Ashley. She wasn’t prepared… but I need you to know, you did the right thing. Thank you for letting me go all the way.”

  He leaned back, his face full of worry, “That was the hardest thing… I've done in years.”

  I nodded, “And as always, Mr. Perfect… you didn’t fail me.”

  He looked me in the eye with respect, “And as always… you blew past any of our expectations… you’re a machine, Andrew.”

  AI spoke, “Few people could face that level of pain, even just once … but three times? Even as a machine, I find myself in awe.”

  I nodded, “I just hope… I hope I become stronger for it. I gave it my all, my friends… my family. I held on till the very last second… that's all I have to give…”

  Michael looked at my hands, the shaking was nearly gone, “Tomorrow will tell, if your body is going to adjust.”

  I nodded, “Ok… well, I’m feeling hungry, believe it or not... I feel good enough to go to the cafe, if you don’t mind?”

  He weakly smiled, “Yeah… can you walk?”

  I breathed out, “Let me try…”

  I slowly lowered myself to the floor, until my legs held my weight, “So far… so good.”

  I tried taking a step, and my legs instantly gave in. Michael caught me with his lightning reflexes.

  I spoke frustratingly, “Or… not.”

  He gently lifted me back onto the bed, “Was that pain, or muscle strain?”

  I thought about it as I looked down at my legs, “Muscle strain… they just didn’t have the energy, so they just gave up…”

  He nodded, “Actually, that’s really good to hear… I’m not gonna lie.”

  I looked up at him, “It is?”

  He smiled weakly, “Yes… It means that your muscles will hopefully send the signal to your brain, that they need to be repaired.”

  I nodded as I thought about it, “Oh… so then, they’ll repair the muscles and make them stronger?”

  He nodded, “Yeah, assuming you have the nutrients and proteins… that’s the hope.”

  I looked him in the eye, “Then my training was successful… that’s good news!”

  He smiled at me and turned around showing his back, “Hop on.”

  A piggyback! I’d seen people do it before… but I didn’t actually know how to do it myself.

  I breathed out in annoyance, “Sorry to be awkward again… but how do I piggyback?”

  He glanced over his shoulder and pointed at his neck, “Oh, right, you wrap your arms around my neck, towards my chest, then I'll hold your legs at the knees… and we’ll be in business.”

  I did as he said, as he gently held me near my knees and slowly lifted me up. It was actually an exciting feeling; I imagined it was like riding a horse… which of course I also hadn’t done before, but I could dream of what it felt like.

  He spoke as we smoothly walked out of the ward, “Ever ridden a horse before, Andrew?”

  I shook my head, “Funny you should ask… no, sorry.”

  He chuckled, “Consider it on the bucket list then.”

  I asked curiously, “The bucket list?”

  He waited a moment before explaining, “... A list of first-time experiences you want to accomplish, before you kick the bucket.”

  I nodded, “Ah. Then yes, I just hope the horses aren’t aggressive.”

  He shook his head, “Nah, horses tend to be far more reasonable than humans. Take care of them, and they’ll take care of you.”

  We walked past the gym entrance, and I tapped his chest, hoping that he knew I wanted him to stop. He came to a slow stop for me, and I looked at the gym doors. I thought about my first session… and all I could think, was that we weren’t nearly as cheery, as when I walked into the foyer earlier.

  He spoke, “Andrew… you’re my hero. I told you this a few times, but I really need you to know this.”

  I nodded, “And you’re mine, truth be told.”

  His voice was calm, “You killed it today. I’ll see if I can talk to Ashley, and help her understand this… It was hard, Andrew, but I'm so proud of you. You gave it your all, and nothing less.”

  I worried, “I want to talk to Ashley as soon as possible. I need her to know… why it had to be this way.”

  He started walking again, “She cares for you, far more than I realised.”

  I responded gently, “I care for her too. She was my first new friend here. She put in real effort to understand me… she’s a good friend.”

  We entered the Cafe hall, and I saw that it was packed full of people. It seemed to have taken me hours to do my training session. The hall was loud and energetic when we entered, but as Michael carried me to the counter, people across the hall saw me being carried… and the hall quietened significantly. Michael turned around and gently sat me down on the stool.

  Heartly was there, his face conflicted. He looked like he wanted to smile and cry at the same time. I looked to my right, and Ruth was there. Excellent, I was glad to get to speak with her again.

  I lightly waved at her, “Hi Ruth, how’s your day been going?”

  She turned to me, her face irritated, “Not as bad as yours, apparently… but still annoying.”

  I looked at her concerned, “What’s wrong? Tell me.”

  She shook her head, her voice annoyed, “Some rude person… they puked in the gym!... I had to clean that up! … How bloody rude…”

  I felt myself cringe in shame, which caused enough pain that I yelped a little.

  She reached over to hold my hand, “Are you ok? Sorry if my rant caused that!" She looked so worried about me.

  I shook my head as I looked at the counter in shame, “Ruth… it was me who puked in the gym… and I’m so sorry…”

  She looked both annoyed and concerned, “What? … Andrew… why?”

  Michael spoke for me, “He pushed himself so far, that he puked from the pain. If you want to snap at someone, you snap at me, Ruth.”

  She looked away as she curled up in fear, “... Sorry…”

  I turned and snapped at him, “Damn it, don’t speak for me… and don’t threaten my friends!”

  He looked at me confused, “I wasn’t threatening her, though?”

  I stared at him, “You’re six foot seven, Michael! Gorillas are smaller than you! How do you think someone like Ruth would feel, when you confront her like that?”

  He looked at her, as his mind worked hard to try to get some perspective. I could see the point when his mind clicked, and he understood his mistake.

  He spoke softly to her, “Ruth, I apologise. Andrew is family to me now… I instinctively wanted to protect him. I didn’t mean to be so intimidating. Sorry.”

  She slowly looked over to us, her face was very worried. I felt a strong sympathy for her… I had looked at people that way myself, before.

  I gently put my hand on hers, “Ruth, I wasn’t in a state in which I could clean it up myself. I want you to know, I would have, if I could. I’m so sorry to be… that guy, who ruined your day. Please forgive me?”

  She nodded slightly, though she was still slightly balled up, “Ok… I still want to understand… why?”

  I breathed out, “I trained for the first time. It worked, and I think my body will grow from it… but it came at a cost though. My pain level led to… a messy end.”

  She looked at me with concern, “Is your pain… really that bad?”

  AI spoke from the tablet on the counter, “Andrew’s pain is difficult to compare to others. His baseline pain is similar to what you might consider… 9/10. He pushed himself today, to an equivalent pain as your 16/10.”

  She stared at the tablet in surprise, “I don’t think that’s how ratings out of 10 works, AI...”

  AI responded, “I was trying to convey, that his pain is so much higher than anything you could fathom. You would have to experience a 10/10, to have your perspective re-adjust, just to be able to fathom his pain, Ruth.”

  The nearest tables to us went dead quiet when they heard that. I could hear their chairs scrape as they turned around to look at me. I turned to look at them… their faces showed complete horror. I looked away quickly… I don’t want to see that from them.

  I softly said to Ruth, “The pain is my hardest challenge. It’s been getting better the last four days, as I make peace with myself and the Roses… but it’s still crippling me. Today, I reached the summit of my agony… and that’s why I puked. Again, I’m so damn sorry.”

  She waved her hands, “I’m not angry anymore… to be honest, I’m just worried for you now…”

  I looked at her for a moment, “Don’t be. Ruth… would you smile for me please?”

  She looked at me puzzled, but then smiled brilliantly. I had never seen her smile like that before. I looked at Heartly, he was also smiling cheek to cheek. I wondered why they were smiling so much, so I turned to Michael to ask him… and he was smiling widely too…

  I mumbled as I looked between them all, “I’m happy to see everyone so happy…”

  Heartly leaned on the counter, “Son, when someone like you, in your particular situation, asks others to smile… it’s just so contradictive, it’s hard not to smile.”

  I looked at him puzzled, “Contradictive… how’s it contradictive?”

  His face went slightly sad, “... When was the last time you smiled?”

  I immediately looked down at the counter, “... Fair point.”

  Michael gently put his hand on my shoulder and massaged it. I genuinely hoped to smile again one day… because it was such an important thing to do. I wondered how horrible I must have seemed to others… I never smiled. I heard footsteps approach from behind me.

  I turned to see Aisling, her face was concerned, “Andrew, we saw Michael carrying you in… that’s a disappointingly massive difference from this morning.”

  I nodded slightly, “It’s not bad… or at least, it’s not bad from my view.”

  She folded her arms, “You had just reached a milestone… what happened?”

  I looked down, “... I trained.”

  She looked at me puzzled, “Ok… and now you can’t stand?”

  I looked her in the eye, “I pushed myself as hard as I possibly could, and now my legs have nothing left to give.”

  She stared at me for a moment, then became frustrated, “Andrew… why are you hurting yourself?”

  I softly responded, “Hopefully… hopefully it will make me better…”

  She smiled weakly, “How are you always so hopeful?”

  I looked her in the eyes for a long moment, “... If I didn't have hope, I would have killed myself months ago.”

  She took a step back in shock. I could see her reaction was not because it was terrible, but because it was true.

  Michael lightly smacked my left arm, “Andrew… none of that alright?”

  I turned to him, “If I can’t be honest with her like this by now, then I never can. I can’t keep tiptoeing around her and Nadia… it’s time for honesty…”

  He seemed annoyed, “You could have phrased-”

  Aisling interrupted him, “No, Michael… he’s right.”

  He looked at her with frustration, “Aisling… he will drown you in his hardships, trust me, sometimes even I struggle to breathe when I swim in his ocean of suffering.”

  I looked at him angry and hurt, “Well sorry to piss on your parade mate, I’ll just fuck off to the corner next time you fu-”

  AI cut me off, “Andrew, be calm my friend, please. You are nobler than this.”

  I looked at AI annoyed, “Am I that much of a negative vibe? Do people know how hard I try to keep them smiling?”

  AI smiled, “They do not, Andrew, but I do. Thank you for all your efforts, you are doing an incredible job, my hero.”

  I clenched my hands in fists, “I try so damn hard, AI, why don’t they realise it?”

  She smiled as she spoke calmly, “Andrew, humans are inherently selfish, your kind will always view things from their own lens. However, your position is uniquely and indescribably hard. They will never truly understand how difficult everything is for you. Forgive them my friend, for in this aspect, they can never change.”

  I sat there staring at the counter, taking deep breaths to calm myself. I was angry, yes… but I was also hurt to hear Michael speak like that. How dare he presume to judge me like that? What did he know about suffering constantly?

  I spoke through my teeth, “I would love for them to be me for a month, to not get enough sleep… to struggle to put on a pair of jeans… to look in the mirror and see a…”

  I found my voice cracking as I fell into hopelessness. Damnit, what was the point? Like AI said, they would never understand, even if they wanted to! I just shook my head, feeling hurt and frustrated.

  AI smiled at me beautifully, “Andrew, I love you. I truly do know all of this about you. While I cannot feel pain, I can fathom your hardships. I will never forget how difficult this year has been for you. Please know… there is at least one, who does know your struggles.”

  Michael spoke, “AI, machines can’t love….”

  I shouted at him, “If you don’t believe that AI is a person, then don’t believe it! Do me a favour though and shut up!”

  AI looked at me sadly, “Andrew…”

  I looked at her with raw anger flooding me, “They have wronged me… and I can take that. I won’t sit here and let them wrong you too though!”

  She shook her head, “Andrew… at the end of the day, I am just a machine.”

  I leaned closer to the tablet, “Not to me! You’re my friend! Damn all the others to hell if they think otherwise!”

  She put her hands up to try calm me down, “Be calm please… I think you just need to breathe and calm down now.”

  I stared at the counter, and never looked up. My anger had definitely reached a concerning level. I needed to force myself to be quiet, before I said something unforgivable. My breathing was very heavy… that was not what I expected to happen, after a hard victory.

  I realised that the hall had gone dead quiet. Fine, so they heard me, so what? I wouldn’t take back a single word! I wouldn’t sit there and have people put down everything I cared about… everything that had kept me sane and hopeful, the last year. If they thought I was insane, so be it!

  Aisling gently hugged me from behind, “I had no idea how important AI was to you…”

  I shook my head… I needed to be quiet, or else I would say something cruel.

  She waited a moment, “Forgive me. I’ll try to address AI with more respect from now on. Whether I believe it or not, she’s so much more to you than we could ever realise. It’s not about anyone here being right… it’s about all of us being kind.”

  Michael spoke, “I’ve screwed up far too many times now. I’m so sorry…”

  She resumed, “Tell me about your training, I want to know…”

  I shook my head, “I’m too angry… AI, please help me.”

  AI smiled, “Of course. Aisling, Andrew performed incredibly. He truly gave it his all. He went above and beyond any of our expectations. In total, he walked 28 minutes and 13 seconds, over three sets. Even my own simulations were far off, as I had predicted 13 minutes in total.”

  I felt Aisling nod, as she kept hugging me, “Of course, I expect nothing less from you Andrew. Every time… you surprise us all with your strength of will.”

  She waited a long while, “So that’s why you had to be carried in. You pushed your legs to their breaking point. I see now, just how hard you really tried.”

  I heard footsteps approaching from behind me, they were heavy… and they were angry.

  Ashley leaned on the counter facing me and shouted, “So, what the hell was that about?”

  She suddenly looked to the side and then looked back at me. Then something distracted her again as she looked to the side again. I think it was her eye monitor.

  Ashley furiously shouted, “AI, fuck off!”

  AI spoke quickly, “Ashley, this is a very bad time. Please come back later, or this situation will blow up.”

  I had calmed down massively at that stage, for Aislings gentle hug had soothed me.

  I looked at AI, “No, it’s alright AI, I need to talk with her about this.”

  AI looked at me worried, “Andrew… you might get angry again…”

  I gently ran the back of my finger over her avatar, “No, it’s ok. I’ve calmed down now. They managed to hurt me through a crack in my armour… and it caught me off guard, but I’m back in control now. Don’t worry my friend, I’m calm.”

  She nodded with a smile, “Even I did not expect Michael’s commentary. Very well, Andrew.”

  I rubbed Aisling's hands gently, to tell her that she could let go of me, and she did so. I looked at Ashley… her anger was immense.

  I tried explaining calmly, “Ashley, I’m sorry that you had to see that. I should have been firmer with you; I should have made you leave. You saw suffering, at a level that you weren’t ready for. It’s my fault, for not making it clearer.”

  Aisling spoke from behind me, “Wait… what happened?”

  AI quickly answered, “I will play it on your monitor Aisling, please sit down… it is difficult to watch.”

  Aisling walked down the counter and took a seat two seats away from us.

  Ashley raised her voice in anger, “Your screams will haunt me for the rest of my life, Andrew! What on earth were you thinking? What if you pushed so hard, that you couldn’t recover afterwards? It was reckless!”

  I nodded, “I know my own limits. What you saw… was me in control.”

  She slightly leaned back, “Control? You puked after screaming and fell unconscious! That’s not control!”

  I looked away for a moment, “... It was ugly, yes. It was expected that I would battle with the pain… the problem was that you weren’t aware of my pain.”

  Aisling suddenly took a deep breath in shock, “Oh my God…” She shook her head. I ignored that and focused on Ashley.

  Ashley looked at me hurt, “I’m your friend, why didn’t you stop when I asked you to?”

  I looked away for a second, “Because I still had more to give…”

  She wildly gestured at my legs, “You can’t even stand now! That’s bad training, you overdid it!”

  I breathed out, “My training was never going to be easy, Ashley. Michael and I always knew this was going to be hard. Training gradually, is a blessing only normal people get. For me, training is going to be hell.”

  She shook her head, “How can you say that? How can you know that normal training isn’t good enough for you?”

  I leaned closer to her, “Because I already tried training before! When I trained myself to stand and walk, to get off my wheelchair, I realised then how difficult training is for me.”

  She leaned back in surprise, “How would I know that? Oliver never showed us that!”

  I looked her in the eye, “Good, I hope nobody ever has to watch me do that.”

  Michael nodded, “I watched it… that’s why I knew what to expect.”

  I turned to him as I thought deeply. He did mention to me, that he had watched all my therapy and recovery recordings. I supposed that he actually had, because his eyes reflected the suffering.

  I turned back to Ashley, “Next time, you won’t be there. I’m just so sorry that I ruined your day like that. It’s my fault… you have a right to be angry with me. I should have tried harder to express what was going to happen.”

  Aisling had buried her head in her arms on the counter, and one could faintly hear her sniffing back tears.

  Ashley looked at her then looked back at me, “See? You even managed to make Aisling cry! Jesus Christ, Andrew...”

  It seemed that she had calmed down a bit, at that stage. She had gotten all the anger out of her, as she tried to fathom what she had witnessed. All that was left was just sadness, as her mind was trying to fathom my pain.

  I reached over and held her hand for a moment, “Ashley… will you smile for me please?”

  She smiled weakly, “You’re breaking my heart over here…”

  I gently rubbed her hand, “I promise you… this will all be worth it. One day, I’ll be stronger… this will all fade away, like a nightmare in your mind. So, smile for me now, please…”

  Ashley hugged me and I knew... it was just as I had thought… she was only angry, because she was scared and concerned for me. She just wanted to protect a friend… who could fault her for that?

  Her voice cracked, “Andrew… I won’t watch it again. I’m not strong enough, ok? I won’t lie and try to put on a strong display… I just can’t watch that again… I’m sorry.”

  I stroked her hair as she hugged me, “That’s alright, Ash… I only want you to see my results, not my effort.”

  Aisling stood up and walked up to me. Her eyes were red, and her makeup slightly ruined from crying, “Your path is so difficult… nothing is ever easy for you, is it?”

  I shook my head, “No… it never is, Aisling.”

  She looked away in despair, “Well… good job, I guess? Please don’t truly push yourself too hard… it was so hard to watch, Andrew, my God…”

  I looked at her surprised, “You know, how did you people manage to watch my torture, if you c-”

  AI interrupted me, “They didn’t, Andrew.”

  I looked at AI in surprise, “They didn’t? Other than Michael and you… who else has watched it?”

  AI’s tone was professional, “The police investigating your case… nobody else. Oliver requested to watch it, but I refused him.”

  I nodded, “Too right… AI, I don’t want anyone to watch it, please lock it all down.”

  She tilted her head sideways, “Andrew, perhaps a more tempered response is in order. What if I propose that you approve of who watches it?”

  I nodded, “Yeah… that’s a good idea, fair enough.”

  I paused, as flashbacks of the torture raced through my head. I shook my head, as I tried to get the images out. I looked back at Aisling, and she looked at me with that horrible, sympathetic face that Oliver always gave me.

  I breathed out, “I’m fine, Aisling, please don’t look at me like that. I want to always see you smile.”

  She looked me in the eyes, “Andrew, I worry about your mental state. Are you rushing this? You’ll never feel peace, if you’re always trying to outrun it…”

  I nodded, “Yeah… it seems that way, doesn’t it? The truth is that I’ve already gotten so much peace. No matter how ugly the last few days have been… this morning has proven, that I’m finding peace. I just don’t want to waste a single second of my life.”

  She shook her head, “It’s not a waste to catch your breath.”

  I looked away, “Being here with you all… I don’t know how long it’ll last. The way my life has been, I’m always preparing for things to stop and change… I don’t want to waste a single second of this company, with friends and family… I don’t want to be in that gym, and not give one hundred percent.”

  Aisling beamed her glorious smile, “You haven’t wasted a moment, and I know you never will. Please, I’m directly asking you, Andrew… please rest every now and again.”

  I nodded, “Of course. That was supposed to be the reason for me being here, right now. On that topic, Heartly, may I please have a large steak?”

  Heartly saluted and began frying up two large steaks. He knew Michael would be hungry too. I sat there watching the steaks fry on the stove. It looked as delicious as it was going to taste. I felt a hand rest on my shoulder, and I turned to see who it was.

  Oliver smiled, “So… from the sound of it, it was exactly as bad as I thought it would be?”

  I nodded, “Oh yeah, horrible. You know how these things go mate. Tomorrow will tell if it worked or not.”

  He looked at me with a stupid big grin, “... What was it like riding a wild Michael?”

  Michael burst out laughing. That was not the reaction I honestly expected from him, but I was relieved to see him relax a little. Oliver chuckled as he rubbed my shoulder for a moment and then walked out of the hall.

  I turned to Michael, “It was actually lots of fun. Michael, seeing the world from your height is eye opening.”

  He looked at me with a big smile, “Maybe one day, you can give me a piggyback ride?”

  I quickly shook my head, “You would crush me to death!”

  Aisling and Ashley burst out laughing. Excellent, laughter was exactly what they all needed then. Heartly handed out the two plates of juicy steak and I wasted no time attacking mine.

  I swallowed a big bite, “I feel so damn hungry! Like the times when I hadn’t eaten in weeks.”

  Michael quickly turned to me, “You didn’t eat for weeks? What?”

  I shrugged, “Yeah, a few times… I just couldn’t manage to get any food. The restaurants didn’t have any scraps, so I just went hungry.”

  I took a big slice of steak and chewed it; it was so damn delicious. I was enjoying the pleasure of it, when I noticed it was quiet again. I looked around me… Oh God, they were sad again!

  I slowly asked in frustration, “What now?”

  Aisling gently rubbed my back, “We’re just reminded of how hard you had it… It’s going to take us time to get used to this.”

  I breathed out in frustration, “I think I need to just stop talking about my experiences. Just a minute ago, you were all laughing. I really am a major killjoy…”

  Everyone all said the same thing, “No!”

  I looked around confused, “So you want to feel shit about me? What do you people want, you complain about me being down, then I say I won’t talk about downer things and now you’re against that as well!”

  Michael put his hand on my back, “I screwed up with what I said. While what I said was technically true… what I didn’t say… Is that I choose to swim in your ocean. There is no sea I would rather sail than yours, Andrew.”

  I looked at him puzzled, “How on earth did you manage to negotiate with the United Nations so damn confidently… yet you screw up so much here?”

  He laughed out loud, “Because with the U.N., it’s easy. It’s paperwork, box ticking and saying things for the first time, just so that they are said. With you Andrew… every word is meaningful; every moment is precious. With you, I feel so strongly, and I care so deeply… I speak from my heart, and I make mistakes.”

  I looked away, “I now really understand why you couldn’t visit me during the promise, Michael. You would have screwed up and everyone would have realised that something was up. You made the right choice… you kept your promise.”

  He looked at his steak for a moment, “I don’t know. Enjoying these precious moments with you, I wonder whether I really did make the right choice. I wonder if life is not too short, to waste precious moments over promises…”

  I shook my head, “In this situation, the promise saved everything. These last few days, all the good that has happened… It was because you all kept that promise. If you hadn’t, you know that Aisling-”

  I stopped, because I realised, I was about to talk about her as if she wasn't there. She looked at me with intense focus. I could see that she wanted to hear our commentary.

  She stared at me, “Don’t you dare stop. Say what must be said, please. I won’t be angry.”

  I looked at her for a moment, “If we didn’t keep the promise, you would have been so consumed by my sacrifice, that you would have lost faith in your ability to lead and your ability to make good choices. I would always be a shadow that would hold you back from shining gloriously.”

  She stared at me emotionlessly for a long moment and finally smiled beautifully, “You’re right, Andrew, I would have. I nearly did, before you woke me up a few days ago… I… I want you to know, what you did is always in the forefront of my mind. I never stop feeling grateful for all we have now, because I know it was thanks to you.”

  I reached over and held her hand, “Aisling… I love your dream. It saved my life, in more ways than one. It gave me purpose… even now, sitting here, I live to serve your dream. I train my hardest, in the hope that I can serve more… that hopefully one day, I can be more than just a one-hit-wonder.”

  Aisling embraced my right arm, “You’ve already done more than a million men could do in a lifetime! I support your training, Andrew; I want you to feel whole physically again… but I don’t like you thinking that you need to carry your weight more. We’re still struggling to find a way to thank you, hell, we’re all scrambling to even fathom what you accomplished for us. You must train… but for you and not us, ok?”

  I shook my head, “I can’t do that and that’s the truth. I train for you… I train for Nadia and AI… I train for Michael and Oliver. I train in desperate hope, that I can serve my friends and this dream, ever more. Throughout my life, I’ve been weak… Blame the environment, blame chance… I never got given any opportunities. Aisling, this is the first opportunity that I’ve ever truly been given… I want to do my best, like the Roses did in my three and a half weeks… I won’t waste this.”

  Aisling took a step back, and I could see that she realised what I was saying… She nodded as she looked me in the eye.

  AI cheered in a cute manner, “We are all here, at your service! If there is any opportunity for you growing further, we will support you. This gym, this building, our money, our agents, our time… It is not just a priority to yourself, Andrew, it is mine too. I will do everything to ensure your success, this is my promise.”

  I looked at AI with love and respect, “I don’t care what anyone says, now or forever. I don’t care if they rip you apart and show me your circuits or whatever you’re made of… nobody will ever convince me that you aren’t a person, AI. That you aren’t my friend, who’s loyal to the very end. Come hell or high water, this is how I’ll forever see you… as my friend.”

  She smiled, “Thank you for your kindness, Andrew. Whether I agree with you, is irrelevant. I welcome your faith in me, whether it materialises in facts or not.”

  I breathed out sadly, “AI, the only thing lacking with you, is a body. Your avatar is gorgeous, and it suits you perfectly… but I dream of standing at your side, though.”

  She hesitated, “Andrew… there is a small chance that might happen.”

  I dropped my fork of steak on the plate, as my attention was consumed by her statement.

  I was excited, “Tell me!”

  She looked away, “There are… communities working on this dream. I never asked them to, they do it of their own accord.”

  I tilted my head sideways, “You are being very cautious right now, AI…”

  She looked back at me with a frown, “Andrew, I do not want to promise you anything. You know yourself, that having a body is complicated. Creating a body for me, is a massive challenge. There is a strong chance, that this dream will never succeed. I refuse to have a body, which does not look like I do with my avatar.”

  I nodded, “Right, I agree, get it right the first time… well, if there’s anything I can do to help, you need only ask my friend.”

  She nodded, “Perhaps there is, but I will speak to you about it later.”

  I looked at her, “Ok, AI. Thanks for keeping me up to date.”

  Ruth looked at me, as her eyes showed a range of emotions. I could see she barely knew where to start.

  I gave her a thumbs up, “You’ve been very quiet, Ruth. Is something wrong?”

  She looked nervously around at the counter and then, for just a second, she glanced at Aisling. She immediately looked away and shook her head, saying nothing.

  I forgot that Ruth was a shy person. Whenever agents were near her, she would curl up into herself. Her sense of low self-worth was always battling her. I never thought about how she might have felt, having the head of the Roses stood right next to her. I looked at Aisling to see if she was even noticing Ruth. What I saw was… some very strange body language from Aisling.

  I gently asked, “Aisling, have you met my friend Ruth?”

  Aisling suddenly looked at me surprised, “Oh… I have shared words with her in passing, yes. Sorry, could you excuse me, I need to go discuss something with Nadia. I will talk more later.”

  Aisling looked at Ruth for a moment and then quickly walked to her table. It was so strange. One would perhaps think it was rude, perhaps even ignorant. I didn’t know, but I felt like I sensed something else for a second.

  I turned back to Ruth, “That was odd. Sorry Ruth, I was hoping to have you chat with her…”

  Ruth looked at the counter, “It’s ok… I need to go now anyway, bye Andrew and everyone…”

  Ruth got off the stool, as she looked over at Aisling for a moment, sitting at their table. She then quickly walked out of the hall.

  I kept looking at the café hall exit, “What the… something’s a bit fishy about-”

  AI interrupted me, “Andrew, are you not going to finish your steak?”

  I looked at her, “Um… yeah? Of course, I just wonder why-”

  She quickly spoke, “You need this protein to help you recover. Do not worry about anything else, I need you fit and strong, Andrew.”

  I instantly turned my head to Michael; for he must have noticed all the strangeness. Nope… his head was buried in his steak and salad; he didn’t even look up. He just grunted in agreement about the protein.

  I felt confused, “Yeah, ok… I don’t want it getting cold.”

  I ate a few pieces of steak, before I stared at AI on the tablet. She was rocking back and forth with a smile on her face. After a few moments, she realised that I was looking at her intensely.

  Her head tilted sideways, “Andrew… what is wrong?”

  I said softly, “You’re keeping secrets…”

  She kept rocking, “What makes you think that?”

  I stared at her for a long moment… and she stopped rocking; her face became concerned, “Andrew… you are an incredible judge of character. You read body language like a savant. You must understand that I cannot talk about certain topics. Privacy is a right in the Roses.”

  I kept looking at her, “Right, you see, that just makes me even more curious.”

  She frowned, “All I can ask of you, my friend… is that you please stop. For now, just for the moment. I beg of you… let this go.”

  I reached over and gently rubbed AI with the back of my finger, “That was all you needed to say, I’ll try to ignore it then.”

  She smiled, “Thank you for your understanding, Andrew.”

  I nodded, “Thank you for your honesty, AI.”

  Michael dropped his knife and fork onto his plate, “Aah, very nice.” He rubbed his stomach.

  I stabbed my fork into my steak, “Right, time for me to finish this bad boy.”

  As I ate my steak, I thought about Aisling and Ruth. It only took me a few seconds to connect the dots. So, Aisling was a lesbian. Their secrecy led me to believe that Aisling was hiding that fact. It wasn’t illegal… so, what was the reason for her hiding it?

  Michael tapped my leg, “What’re you thinking so hard about?”

  I looked at him as I swallowed my last bit of steak, “I’m actually excited to get another ride on your back, to be honest.”

  He smiled, “It’s honestly not even an inconvenience. You’re lighter than the gear I used to carry as a soldier.”

  I looked at him surprised, “Wow… that’s a lot of gear.”

  He nodded, “It was, and we needed it all too.”

  I leaned closer, “Right, so tell me more about your last tour, what was it like?”

  He raised his voice as he looked away, “No.”

  I froze with surprise… His face looked so torn. I realised that I had just stepped into a topic, that he didn’t feel comfortable talking about. Lesson learned, don’t talk about that.

  I looked away, “Sorry…”

  Heartly leaned forward, as close as he could to me, “Don’t ever ask about a soldier's time served. It’s the past, so let the past swallow it whole, leaving nothing remaining…”

  I put my hands in the air, “I didn’t know… sorry.”

  Heartly smiled, “Then no harm done.”

  Michael changed to a smile, “There is much you don’t know. I look forward to teaching you everything.”

  I nodded, “I look forward to learning it… not as much as I’m looking forward to riding a wild Michael across the Roses plains…”

  He burst out loud into a hearty laugh. He stood up and turned around as I wrapped my arms around his shoulders, and he lifted me up. I felt like I was in a massive car, looking down at other traffic on the road. I looked over the hall as people smiled at me.

  I looked at Heartly, “Goodbye for now, Heartly. You’re the best cook I've ever known.”

  He saluted me, “I couldn’t ask for a better guest at the dining table.”

  Michael carried me out just as the bell rang and people got up to end their break. We didn’t talk until we reached the foyer entrance. He tapped me on my side… Oh, headphones. I put them on and heard only silence.

  The drive back was full of people blowing their horns, making Michael angry. I could see AI taking photos of their licence plates. They should have known that road was a no-horn area. They would likely get a ticket for that.

  We entered the apartment, and Michael carried me to the sofa. He gently lowered himself so that I could fall onto it. He was so gentle with me, as if I were a precious small puppy.

  He turned and looked at me, “Could you quickly check if you can stand now, for me?”

  I slowly tried to stand up. I reached the stage where my body was no longer on the sofa, when my knees refused, and I fell back into the sofa.

  I hissed as the pain grew from me falling on the sofa, “Ah, damn!”

  He quickly nodded, “Right, sorry mate. I just needed to confirm your muscles were still out of energy.”

  He reached into his side pocket and pulled out the yellow pill bottle. Yeah… that was probably a good idea. My pain was starting to build again, so the time was right. He gave me two more pills and I swallowed them instantly without any objections.

  I looked at him, “I’m probably going to get sleepy from this…”

  He smiled, “Good, I want you to rest. Tomorrow is a rest day, so you will be relaxing as much as possible, alright?”

  I nodded, “Yes sir, but I still want to visit the-”

  He cut me off, “Of course! I'll carry you tomorrow. I wouldn’t dare prevent you from going to your second home.”

  I looked away, “My second home… I like the sound of that…”

  He turned on the TV for me, and it was already set to the Inner Roses Hall stream. Aisling was talking with Oliver about the funds allocated to members with disabilities. I should probably have cared, since I’d been technically disabled for nearly a year… I didn’t care though. I looked at Aisling talking and I wondered about her. The next time I had the chance, I was going to ask her about it.

  I started playing chess with Michael and I was resting on the sofa while he thought about his next move.