Erastus 22

  Bless her, Marona was extremely professional throughout the meeting. I’d have felt so much more awkward if she’d filled her speech with double entendres or something. Unfortunately, there’s very little way to make hiring nearly 100 prostitutes for the first time stop being embarrassing, especially when they are all very specifically for the person doing the hiring. In a way, it would have been much better if they’d sent out a 400 pound guy in a stained tank top. No, instead I had to expin my needs to a cute slip of a girl in a cream colored dress.

  “I really must suggest the doppelg?nger special.” She said gently. “Cycling out faces on one of our shapeshifting girls would be more expensive per girl, but would produce the effect of 100 people much more easily.”

  “No. I need to insist.” I said, dying inside even as I kept my smile in pce and my voice strong. “96 distinct girls. It’s for ritual purposes.”

  “As you’ve said.” Marona sighed. “It would be best if we also received a copy of this ritual to ensure that it’s nothing nefarious. Neither our temple nor any reputable establishment wishes to be party to the conjuration of an Erodaemon into the Prime Material.”

  “I’ll swear on any holy item you want, and under any spell you want.” I groaned. “The purpose of the spell is just to empower me. Personally. I don’t know exactly how it will manifest but I don’t have any reason to believe it will cause harm to anyone.”

  As I spoke I wrote down the few requirements I knew of for the achievement to work.

  “Other than you.” She said primly.

  “Me?” I asked.

  “96 orgasms in 24 hours is not a quantity that most species are equipped to deal with.” She said, “that is an average of one sexual encounter, brought to completion, every 15 minutes for a full day. Even if you are correct and you don’t need to orgasm for each of them, I would suggest hiring a support team standing by with restorative spells.”

  “Already got one.” I agreed, recognizing an upsell.

  “Oh, then I do hope you’ve factored in the Voyeur fee.” She said, scribbling something down. “If it proves effective, we may even be willing to waive the cost entirely. For obvious reasons, the church of Callistria would be very interested in a ritual that can empower someone through sexual congress with a rge number of people.”

  “For the st time no.” I groaned. “I’m 99% sure it’s not something you’ll be able to reproduce because it’s not strictly speaking a ritual beyond a few specific requirements. I also don’t need any spell components, before you ask again. It’s a sorcerer thing.”

  ??????????

  At the end of the day, after an hour of back and forth, I was presented with a packet of papers containing abbreviated expnations of my options for my consideration. 21 girls would pass the breakpoints at 5, 10, and 25; if I wanted to do this right now, that was my only real option. Even if they rounded up their part timers and support staff, The House of Amber Silk only had about 25 girls that they could pusibly hire out. It would cost around 120 gold, with all the tacked on fees and surcharges for bulk.

  I already turned down Pepper for this. I want the payout to be big, damn it.

  46, bringing him to the breakpoint of 50, or 96 to bring him to 100, were both viable if he went to one of the rgest temples to Callistria in the Shackles. That meant Quent, the trade capital, Port Peril, the actual capital, or Kepre Dua, which had a Callistrian pirate lord sponsoring the temple. Given the whole drow thing and the fact that I needed to get Owlbear home, that meant Port Peril.

  “Of course if you’re right and any gutter trash will do, I suppose you could always walk around Ollo for an hour or two.” She said dismissively. “It’s like Goatshead, except that it’s a shithole through neglect instead of by design and is far rger. It would likely be cheaper, other than the incredibly high chance of getting exposed to some manner of disease.”

  Looks like 46 would probably cost around 300, and 96 nearly 1500 due to the sheer logistical nightmare. That’s still absurdly cheap for what I’m getting out of it, objectively speaking. Less than what it would cost me to make two +1 weapons, and it’s hopefully going to be a bit more impressive than a +1 weapon.

  On the other hand, holding out for 96 might be a bad idea. If the world itself is going to keep tossing sexually aggressive hot girls like Pepper at me, I don’t think I want to take an oath of fidelity until I reach Port Peril. What’s the point in having an open retionship if you can’t sleep around? Then again, maybe I should ask Sosima that. She doesn’t seem like she’s likely to start swinging any time soon, but I’m not an expert.

  Not to mention that Autopilot is really damn good at seducing girls. Setting aside the hedonism thing, if I could find a powerful girl and convince her to join the crew by getting her in bed, I’d be stupid not to. That would be a hell of a coincidence, but my HUD seems insistent that I will live an interesting life. I should get used to that.

  Wait a second. I could just put a harsh limit on it. No more than 5 new girls before I reach Port Peril. If I find more than 5 hotties offering me piles of money or some kind of tactical advantage if I sleep with them in the next few months, at sea, I’ll eat Syl’s bandanna. Then I hire 91 girls in Peril, and get the 4 breakpoint perk. Easy. If I’d thought of that earlier I’d be penciling in sex ed with a catgirl to my day pnner.

  Fuck.

  ??????????

  Marona escorted me to a small side room where Cog was curled up in a tiny bed with crisp, clean sheets. I wasn’t exactly shocked that he’d finished his meeting before I did; Pepper had walked in with her pn already fully formed. He’d just had to say yes.

  Hopefully renting a room to sleep in didn’t cost him much. Then again, I’m pretty sure he has friends here or something.

  “Now, if that’s all, please have a good day.” She said, slightly testy, “I have other things to do for clients that are actually paying today.”

  I tapped Cog on the shoulder lightly, which unfortunately wasn’t enough to wake him. I escated to shaking, which elicited a groan as he rolled away from me.

  “Oi, Cog, if you need to sleep we can get you a pce at the tavern.” I said, shifting my sensory assault to a second front and shaking him harder.

  That finally did it. Cog started awake, alert much more quickly than I’ve ever managed.

  “How long was I out?” He asked, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

  “I dunno.” I admitted. “Probably not long. I was only in the meeting for about an hour, I think?”

  “Good.” Cog said, sitting up. “Now then.”

  He drove his palm into my gut, though not hard enough to do any actual damage. I knew he was strong enough to kill someone with his bare hands, so that was deliberate restraint on his part. I appreciated that more in retrospect, as in the moment it hurt a ton.

  “When I tell you we need to talk right now, it’s because something important needs to be said.” He growled. “I don’t ask for that kind of thing for no reason, and I don’t like being blown off. It doesn’t seem too bad this time, but it could have been dangerous. Am I being clear?”

  “That you’re pissed? Yes.” I said, gring at him. I stood up straight, ignoring the pain in my gut to the best of my ability. “Now you might as well tell me what’s got you worried enough to get physical.”

  Punching for emphasis is not something I want to become standard on my ship. I’m pretty sure Rowe is the only person who can’t punch harder than me, and she’d probably escate to her gun.

  “Pepper Bck is a friend of Plugg’s.” He said, crossing his arms. “He signed on with her yesterday, within hours of reaching port. I’ve been asking about her since, and I wanted to be damn sure you weren’t sending me into some kind of trap.”

  Oh. Fuck. Yeah, I guess that checks out. I left him out to dry while he was half asleep. I fucking knew she recognized my name! Damn it Autopilot, not everything ties back to your bitch wife.

  “Understood. Sorry for ignoring you.” I said, nodding. “For what it’s worth, if she set all this up to entrap me she is either absurdly good or using some kind of magic.”

  I gave him a quick rundown of how I’d met her, from overhearing her conversation to reading the packet.

  “Yeah.” Cog agreed, yawning. “She seems earnest. I made an appointment to meet with her tomorrow, might as well take the money, but I’d have preferred to talk to you for two shakes.”

  “How does she know Plugg?” I asked.

  “Harrigan served on her father’s ship once.” Cog expined. “Svartur Bck keeps tabs on everyone he’s ever worked with, and those two probably met dozens of times growing up. At least that’s my best guess as to why she’d accept three people onto her crew, no questions asked. I guess it’s possible she knows Scourge; I don’t know anything about his past.”

  I steepled my fingers in front of my mouth, thumbs under my chin.

  “That doesn’t necessarily mean she’s his best buddy.” I noted. “I know plenty of guys I’d help out if they needed it, just because I’ve known them or they are family friends.”

  “It’s possible, but I don’t know her and I don’t trust Plugg.” Cog said.

  Autopilot, do you know anything about Pepper? Or this Svartur guy?

  Why yes. Svartur Bck is a decent man living in Port Peril who runs a bar for his wife. She manages the kitchen while he deals with the public. His wife is some manner of mage, who he refers to as Imma. From the few times I’ve seen her, she doesn’t seem to particurly like people. Pepper was probably around 14 the st time I frequented the Linnorm. (Knowledge Local 13+2=15)

  What? You know him personally?

  Yes. He’s a jovial fellow who looks after his subordinates. The Raging Linnorm has a very pleasant atmosphere and diverse clientele, though it caters primarily to wealthy pirates.

  Why did you stop visiting his pce?

  Nendra didn’t want me spending time in respectable establishments where her friends might see me, and ran in the same circles as Imma Bck. She preferred I work in lower css areas while she worked with the upper crust.

  You really were misleading when you said you were just a drug dealer.

  You assumed that was all I was, because it was all I was allowed to do.

  “Do you want me to summon something to shadow you while you work with her?” I ask. “Or come along? I don’t exactly have a full day pnned tomorrow. Mostly I just wanted to go talk to the goblins, try to sell them an isnd. Maybe hire on a few more hands.”

  “Backup would be appreciated,” Cog agreed, “but I think I’ll be in a better position if I take the lead whatever you do. I established myself as the expert here, so I think I can accommodate your involvement. If Plugg poisoned the well about you, I could probably feed her a line about the sve-driving Drow and let her try to poach me some time when you’re not in the room.”

  “Just don’t let her actually do it, and that sounds like it could be fun.” I ordered, smiling. “You’re too valuable to run off with strange cat girls. Keep an eye on her ears. I think she gives away more than she means to with them.”

  “Yeah, yeah.” Cog said, yawning. “I dated an Amurrun girl for years. I know the tells. Anyway, let’s get to this tavern so I can rent a room. I’m bushed, and unlike you I’m going into tomorrow pnning on doing a job. You might have fun, but if I’m getting paid this much I intend to provide her the service she came looking for. That isn’t sex, its knowledge.”

  “Sure, sure.” I said, smiling. “I’ll tell the girls before I run off doing anything crazy.”

  “I might invite Sosima to assist.” Cog commented as we walked out the front door. “She knows more about the subject than I do, from the female perspective.”

  Hmm. Cog didn’t have to pay any kind of tab for that room. Either that, or it’s pre-paid.

  “I’ll talk to her about it, but you can’t just drop interesting details and not eborate.” I said with a chuckle, “what happened with that other catfolk girl? Who is she.”

  “Linu was a coworker. She got pissed when I decided I wanted to work…” he yawned. “When I left to become a pirate.”

  Hold up. That wasn’t a real yawn, was it?

  It was absolutely a real yawn, but yes, he used it to cover up a verbal slip. (Sense Motive 19+1=20)

  Might as well call him out now, when he’s tired. No sense dancing around it forever, and I’ve got a guess what he actually meant.

  “Yeah,” I said casually, “I bet field work is way more dangerous than just working at the temple. So how did they react when you told them you were in a mutiny?”

  Cog looked at me sharply. He sighed.

  “Never talk to someone sharp when you aren’t.” He grumbled. “Stupid. Yeah. They’re pissed. I’m suspended for now, but they’re letting me keep working with you to establish a name for myself.”

  “Seems like a lot of faith to put in some no-name.” I pointed out.

  “Yeah, well you’ll also be pretty easy to extract myself from if I have to.” Cog said, shrugging. “No offense, but you’ve made it pretty clear that you aren’t the vengeful type. I’m also supposed to at least try to recruit you.”

  “Which is why you told me to go to Quent for sponsorship?” I asked.

  “Exactly.” He confirmed.

  “I’m going to want more details.” I said, “since we are being honest.”

  “Fine.” Cog said with a shrug. “I’m curious about where you come from too, honestly. Maybe we can swap info some time? Not in the street, obviously.”

  ??????????

  Walleye’s was a lively pce around dinner time, so Cog and I heard the roar of the crowd long before we walked through the saloon-style front door. The throng of slightly drunk people waiting in line or crowded around the stages was so dense that I was nearly crushed by the mass.

  “Fuck this.” I shouted to Cog, who was only a foot away, “I’ll meet you at the table.”

  I focused my telekinetic energy upon myself, fully negating the pull of the world upon my body. I unched myself into the air, reaching the rafters in a few moments. Once there, I looked down and pinpointed my crew, using Sandara’s bzing hair as a fg. I pulled myself along the rafters until I was directly above my companions, then gently lowered myself onto the table beside them. (Cast Levitate Spell Like Ability)

  Once I nded in a crouch, Sandara led a sarcastic round of appuse. It was barely audible over the raucous chatter, but when someone is cpping you’ve got to give a bow. It doesn’t matter if the appuse is a joke; you always look better if you own it. While I hammed it up for the crowd, I swept my eyes across my crew and noticed a few new faces huddled close to Sosima.

  New recruits? Great. Not sure why we are bringing in the elderly bck dy, but if she knows how to work, she’s in. Maybe she’s a package deal with the younger one. They’ll need a little more confidence; those two look terrified just from all the sound. Overstimuted is one thing, but we have an image to maintain.

  “Captain Emrys M’Dair, at your service.” I shouted, holding out one hand to the younger of the two women. “Are you friends of Sosima?”

  I crouched, sitting on my heels in front of them. The young woman shook my hand, but her voice was drowned out by the roar of the crowd. I managed to read her lips well enough to reconstruct the single word, though: Naomi. (Perception 13+3=16)

  https://postimg.cc/68bynTY9

  “Pleasure to meet you.” I yelled. “We can talk some other time.”

  We didn’t have much opportunity for meaningful conversation, so I just enjoyed a few servings of the giant bowl of cm chowder my crew was sharing while I sat cross legged on the table. I took out a bit of charcoal and paper from my pocket and exchanged a few words with Sosima, letting her fill me in on her day.

  Net neutral financially, bought a barrel of heavily salted pork, new sailcloth, and some odds and ends.” She wrote in cursive so elegant that I needed Autopilot to transte. “Hired two new recruits. Have some spoils to distribute to the crew, mostly personal effects. Harvest what we can?”

  I looked around and noted that neither Rosie nor Owlbear were present. Neither was Aaron for that matter; I supposed he must still be at the ship. I needed to have a chat with him and his waifu pillow some time soon.

  “Put out a request to the crew. First pick of the loot from the guy. Rosie knows about farm work, she can lead.” I answered, “Tell her the farm belonged to Naomi. Widow, loveless marriage, accidental death. Rosie would get upset at the murder. Also Cog needs to speak with you.”

  I let Sosima read, then took back the paper. I scrawled another note, this one to Syl.

  “I need to talk to you about several things.” I wrote, “You won’t like some. Up for an all-nighter?”

  She scanned it and nodded. Cog finally reached our little pod of people.

  ??????????

  Syl and I met in the suite she shared with Sandara. I’d been too far gone to weigh in, so I was officially sharing a bed with Sosima for the duration of our stay. Hopefully Sandara wouldn’t end up pestering Sosima all night, but it was probably fine.

  The room felt strangely quiet when we closed the door. I could still hear the crowd downstairs, muffled by the thick walls. My vision flicked from monochrome low-light vision to proper color as Syl lit a small oil ntern.

  “Well?” She asked, “What do you need?”

  “I’ve got an admission, something you probably won’t like, and something you’ll probably like.” I said. “We can tackle them in any order you want.”

  “Alright, butter me up first.” She said, smiling faintly. “Start with the good news.”

  “I thought of something else I might be able to summon.” I said, “well, Cog did. It’s more dangerous if it gets free, but I think I could finish off a Vargouille more easily than a Dretch.”

  “Great.” She said, smiling. “I’m gd you didn’t throw out the whole idea. The confession next, I guess?”

  I took a deep breath.

  “I can’t remember most of my life before I was taken to the Wormwood.” I intoned the half-truth. “That's also when I gained the powers I’ve told you about. There are probably tons of things I can’t warn you about because I don’t actually know that I don’t know them. The version of me you know is probably a very different person from anyone who knew me before.”

  “Every time you tell me about your magic, you sound more like an oracle.” She grumbles. “Chosen by the gods, given power, cursed for no clear reason.”

  “You think my amnesia is a curse?” I asked.

  “Well what other expnation is likely?” She demanded, “Taggit Oil doesn’t have that kind of effect.”

  Right. It’s a Rahadoumi thing, assuming the worst of religion. She doesn’t bring it up much, but no wonder she’d hear I have amnesia and assume a god is fucking with me. I don’t even know if that’s pusible or not; it’s basically unfalsifiable, too.

  “On top of that, I have a whole other set of memories that feel at least as real. I don’t really want to talk about them right now, but they aren’t anything that should probably worry anyone. Either way, the thrust is that I may have blind spots.” I expined. “Things come to me as they become relevant, but I’m having difficulty drawing memories out without something to go on, if that makes sense.”

  “Not much sense, no, but I’ll keep it in mind. I’ll admit I’m curious about the other memories, but no sense getting worked up before you even get to the bad part.” She sighed, “Alright, with that said you may now piss me off at your leisure.”

  “I’ve found an opportunity to sleep with someone for a hundred gold pieces.” I expined, “she’s a peer, someone I’d like to establish a positive retionship with, so I think I’m going to do it. Well, technically I’m going to help Cog do it, but I definitely intend to do the part that’s relevant to our pns.”

  “Even though that’ll push your magic into a state where it’ll mutate in only a minor way?” She said, her tone dangerous. “You’ll potentially be losing long term power for short term gains.”

  “If I don’t, I’ll be passing up on both short term and potential long term gains based on a hypothesis anyway.” I countered. “We don’t know what I’m giving up, so we can’t judge its value.”

  Syl stared at me with her stark white eyes, frowning. It was almost a pout.

  “Alright,” she grumbled, “but if you get something trivial from the magic, I fully intend to hold it over you.”

  “That's all?” I asked, slightly surprised.

  “Well yeah.” She said, “I don’t own your… oh.”

  Syl stepped in and wrapped her arms around me. She squeezed me, and spoke quietly into my ear.

  “Look, you can do what you want, and not just because I can’t technically stop you.” She whispered, “I’m not Nendra, and neither are Sandara or Sosima. I appreciate you telling me, I’d be pissed if you didn’t, but it is your call. Ok?”

  Shit, she thinks I’m traumatized? I mean… I guess I did expect her to be way more petty than this. Maddie would have been pissed for weeks, not hug me before she’s even left the room. I’ve had some shitty girlfriends, but that’s not trauma. Just. Like. Bad luck.

  “I appreciate that more than you know.” I told her, “I don’t intend to make a habit of it, but Captain Bck could end up an enemy or an ally, and I think this could push her towards the tter. Either way, I’d like her to be a pay day.”

  “You get five before I’m actually pissed.” Syl said, backing off and jabbing a finger into my sternum. “I want to see how this works, so if you fall into bed with six women before we can make arrangements, the sixth girl had better be… I dunno. To hear Sandara talk about it you’ve already had a threesome with Pharasma and Besmara, so let’s go with that. You’re off the hook if a goddess inconveniently comes begging for your dick.”

  “If I ever manage that I’ll be sure to have a portrait made.” I promised. “For now though, did you find any good books?”