Short jokes aren’t funny.

  Bang! The demon was tossed across the floor like a ragdoll, crashing into a crumpled heap by the door. Thin wisps of white smoke curled from its body as a man stepped forward, his fist still humming with power.

  “Now. Now. Logismoi, who said you could leave your cage?” a familiar voice said with a dry chuckle.

  Kato looked up at the grizzled face, adorned with countless scars and a somewhat manic look on his face. The man was armed with short spiky white hair and wild purple eyes that couldn’t stay still.

  ‘Not him. Anyone but him.’ As much as Kato was grateful to be saved from a being that appeared to be made from spikes and death, his saviour was less than ideal.

  His was one of the few voices Kato had heard recently, and it was unmistakably that of the masochists.

  Putting on a strained smile, Kato pushed himself up and extended a hand to the man. It probably was best not to agitate this crazy person. “Hi.” He coughed. “I mean, hello, esteemed tester,” he said with a slight bow.

  The man chuckled again. “Enough of that. There’s no need for such formalities. Unless, of course, you knew that.” He raised an eyebrow suggestively.

  Kato’s face burnt. ‘Why do these crazy people keep implying I’m bad at social stuff for kicks?’

  Small beast, or Logismoi, who had for some reason lied about his name, groaned from the floor. The masochist returned his attention to the jagged pile of blackness he’d punched across the room. “Don’t be like that. You know you weren’t supposed to leave your cage.”

  The demon groaned again.

  With a small tut, the grizzled man’s eyes returned to erratically scan Kato. “Please ignore him. He gets feisty if he hasn’t given anyone riddles in a while.”

  A gigantic back spike smashed into the door. “That isn’t true. I hate riddles,” Logismoi hissed in rage.

  “See.” The man looked at Kato pointedly. “Feisty.”

  Kato looked from the terrifying monster born from the depths of hell and then back to the frail demon crumpled on the floor. “He doesn’t seem very feisty to me.”

  The evil masochist broke out into a deep laugh. “Oh my. You are funny. I can tell we are going to be good friends!”

  ‘I severely doubt that,’ Kato thought but nodded at the crazy person all the same.

  “Marvellous!” The masochist grinned at him. “Now I apologise, but I must cut our meeting short. Logismoi will get cranky if I don’t see him home.”

  Kato watched in horror as the scarred man casually grasped the demon and, with inhuman strength, slung it over one shoulder before walking away.

  As the thuds of the tester’s stride faded into the distance, Kato took a deep breath and examined the surroundings.

  The corridor he stood in thankfully had normal and undecorated white walls that didn’t cause people to throw up when they looked at them. That alone was enough to elevate it leaps and bounds ahead of its predecessor.

  However, it didn’t come without its own oddities. Kato looked forward. A gigantic ramp stretched off into the distance. Why haven’t they just used stairs? He had no idea. It was probably some weird cult thing.

  Kato stood in silence for a moment as he thought about décor and ways to get up and down before remembering why he had come here. He was here to honour Styx, not critique a maniacal cult’s tastes. He had a mission, and he would complete it.

  Love this story? Find the genuine version on the author's preferred platform and support their work!

  Dusting off his battered clothes, he began walking down the ramp.

  The ramp stretched onwards. It was absurdly long, and Kato had to keep checking over his shoulder to make sure that he actually was going somewhere. After several more minutes, Kato found himself in front of a wooden door.

  It was light brown, panelled and located under a small sign that hung from knotted rope. Kato took his sword and chopped it down, examining it. Two words had been written in pale white chalk. ‘Initiates welcome.’ Kato glanced at the door. ‘I'm going to be really upset if this has been bricked up.’

  He hesitated briefly then kicked the sign to the side. ‘I don’t want to be welcomed here!’ He reached out towards the door. He paused, letting his hand drop. There was no handle. ‘Great.’ He felt the weight of his sword rest comfortably in his hands. ‘No one is going to be upset if I cut my way in. These people would probably applaud me for my initiative or something.’ Kato stared at the handleless door. ‘This is a predicament.’ As much as he wanted to chop his way in, he also really didn’t want to deal with a maniac calling himself door guy that just might be too much to handle.

  A bold and never-before-thought-of idea sprung into Kato’s head. He faced the door once more, reached out a hand and pushed. The door swung open. ‘That was probably why there was no handle,’ he mused as a faint colour spread across his cheeks.

  Kato stepped into a diminutive room. There was a line of high-backed wooden chairs stacked against one wall. Directly in the centre was a wide curved desk made of a fashionable dark wood. Kato was impressed. He wasn’t prepared to take back his critiques on the rest of the building, but at least someone in the cult had taste.

  “Hi there, you must be the new initiate.” A slightly pitched voice broke Kato from his musings.

  He turned startled before coming to a stop. ‘Another voice in the wall… Really?’

  “Hello, Mister Initiate, Mister.” The voice started once again, “I’m here to process you. Good job with completing the trial of the really long ramp, by the way. It’s been a while since someone with two legs didn’t use the stairs.”

  Kato shook his head slightly. ‘There weren’t any stairs. They are messing with you.”

  “Mister. I'm here to process you. Please speak to me.” The voice spoke again.

  Kato stared still. He wasn’t going to entertain someone who had immediately tried to trick and make fun of him.

  “Oh no. You’re one of those, aren’t you? One of those guys who think they can get some strength from their social suffering.” The voice paused. “Yes, I see you’re a Riseran. And you’re probably getting your kicks off this.” The small voice sighed.

  With sudden haste Kato spoke, “Um. Hello, sorry. Yes, I'm here. Ready for initiation, Mister Voice,” Kato replied, deciding to copy the voice’s honorifics.

  The voice laughed slightly, “You Riserans are so weird. Call me Patchy.”

  Kato’s face burnt. ‘That was hardly fair! They called me mister first.’

  “So, um, what do I need to do?” Kato asked.

  “A good first step would be to stand in front of me,” Patchy replied.

  Kato awkwardly remained in place. “And where exactly would you be?”

  Patchy sighed, the humour evaporating from his voice. “Really. A short joke. I thought better of you.”

  Kato blinked, startled. He looked around the room again, paying special attention to the floor. There was no one there. ‘Just how small is this guy?’

  “Yes, you’re so funny. Search the floor, because I'm so microscopic, right? Probably can’t even be seen without some type of special glass or enchantment. Can I?”

  Kato took a step back. ‘Maybe I should leave and find these stairs this guy was on about.’

  Patchy sighed. “Come to the desk, if you would.”

  Cautiously, Kato stepped forward and walked to the desk. Standing in front of it, he could clearly see the other side. A small, furred creature was curled up hiding behind the wall. Kato stared at the ball for a moment before speaking.

  “Why are you hiding behind the desk?”

  The ball unfurled and sprung up, revealing that it was not, in fact, a ball but a humanoid creature. “Hello, Mister Initiate. A pleasure to make your acquaintance,” Patchy proclaimed, sticking a hand out towards Kato.

  Kato stared at the proffered hand, then back at the mischievous little furball. “How was I supposed to be making fun of your height if you were hiding out of sight?” he asked him.

  Patchy grinned impishly at him. “It’s rude not to shake someone’s hand when you meet them,” he stated, ignoring Kato’s question.

  With a sigh, Kato gripped the hand.

  In an instant Patchy clenched his hand and darted forward before nipping at his arm, hard.

  “Ow!” Kato jerked his arm back. “What the hell?”

  Patchy raised his hands in apology. “Sorry, I had to make sure you weren’t a dream.”

  Kato blinked. “Why would biting me prove that I wasn’t a dream?”

  “Isn’t that how you check for dreams by pinching an arm?” Patchy asked him, nonplussed.

  Kato’s mouth dropped. “Are you serious? That’s supposed to be your own arm, and it’s a pinch, so why did you bite me?”

  Patchy looked at him for a moment. “Hmmm.” His eyes narrowed slightly as he searched Kato’s expression for signs of deception. After finding none, he pinched his arm. “Ow,” Patchy cried out pitifully, tears filling his eyes.

  “Are you happy now? You bully,” he glowered at Kato.

  “I didn’t tell you to do that!”

  Patchy sniffled silently behind his desk. “Whatever. I don’t even care. It’s fine. I'm not mad. Let’s just get your initiation done.”

  Chapter 1

  follow the story here!