Listen furball

  Kato’s eyes narrowed as he stared at the furry creature. ‘I’m the one who should be mad!’

  Patchy sniffled, and in a sudden flurry of movement, disappeared behind the counter.

  Kato rubbed a hand across his face. He was not going to apologise to this little monster. No matter how much they cried. He was the wronged party here!

  Patchy sprang back up, holding a bundle of paperwork. He sniffled again. Drops of liquid splattered across the dusty yellow parchment.

  Kato looked at the small creature closely. This really wasn’t an appropriate response. More tears soaked into the papers. ‘Do not pander to them. They are pretending.’ Patchy’s shoulders shook violently, but they refused to make a sound as the parchment got wetter and wetter.

  Frustrated, Kato ran a hand through the back of his head. “Listen, furball. I mean Mister Patchy. I’m sorry about earlier. I shouldn’t have corrected you.”

  Patchy interrupted him with an audible sob.

  Kato clenched his fists by his side. ‘Were they serious?’ He took a deep breath and reluctantly unclenched his hands. “What I mean to say is I shouldn’t have joked about your height, even though I couldn’t see you.”

  Patchy threw himself backwards, the back of his hand firmly pressed to his forehead as he responded in a completely reasonable manner to Kato’s words.

  Kato watched as the little furball dramatically succumbed to the overwhelming sorrow he’d inadvertently caused it. “Are you done?”

  “And you’re sorry for making me pinch myself?” Patchy asked in a quiet voice.

  Kato gritted his teeth. “You pinched yourself!”

  “Because you made me!”

  Something inside Kato broke. Patchy had bitten him. He shouldn’t be apologising for anything. “I take it back. I'm not sorry about the height jokes earlier. I didn’t make any. You are projecting.” Kato glowered at the furry creature.

  Patchy gasped in shock. “How dare!” Two tiny hands covered his heart.

  Kato grabbed the papers with one rough hand. “What do you want me to do with these?”

  Overcoming his melodramatic bout with surprising ease, Patchy’s eyes dried as he stared at Kato with his head in a curious tilt. “They are the same papers you signed before participating in the services. You should know that.”

  The hairs on the back of Kato’s neck stiffened. Kato laughed nervously. “I know that. I just wanted to double-check. You know how us Riserans are,” he projected his voice with false confidence.

  Patchy’s eyes softened. “That’s true enough. Just sign the dotted lines and we can move on to the questions.”

  Kato’s eyes scanned the desk. Foolishly, getting a pen hadn’t been high on his list of priorities while he was barely scraping by. “May I borrow a pen?”

  Patchy’s head tilted further. “Whatever for?”

  “To sign the. Uhh. Papers?” Kato waved a hand pointedly at the loosely stacked sheets in his other hand.

  Patchy sighed. “First you bully me, and then you dare ask me to become your slave, doing your every desire or whim without a thought to my own wants or needs!”

  Kato blinked. “I apologise. It was not my intention to be rude,” he said softly.

  Patchy looked back at him. “Your intentions do not matter,” he said curtly. “I will not be your slave.”

  “I'm just asking for a pen!” Kato exclaimed, exasperated.

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  “Sounded more like a demand to me.” Patchy swiftly turned his head away. “Hmmph!”

  ‘I said, may I…’ Kato thought, resigned. “As I said before, that was not my intention. I would just like to borrow one so that I can sign the documents,” Kato said.

  Abruptly, Patchy switched topics. “You haven’t even apologised to me! You’re just trying to take advantage of my good, innocent and virtuous nature,” Patchy accused Kato.

  Kato’s eye twitched. ‘So that’s what this is about.’

  “Are you refusing to help me because I didn’t apologise to you?” Kato asked.

  “I said I didn’t even care about what you did. Bully. Monster. Evil incarnate,” Patchy said with clipped words.

  “You were crying earlier. You obviously care.”

  “According to who? Liar!”

  Kato looked at the paper in his hands, then back to Patchy. He crossed his fingers, hiding them behind the pages he held. “I’m really sorry, Mister Patchy. I didn’t mean to do all of that stuff that I allegedly did. I mean. I did.”

  Patchy looked back at him for a moment and then tossed out a pen that skittered across the desk.

  “Thank you.” Kato picked it up, scratching the nib against the first page. “It has no ink.”

  Patchy tossed a second pen across the desk. Kato picked it up and tested it. It worked. He began to read the pages.

  They were simple documents that basically confirmed Kato’s commitment to the church and that he wouldn’t turn on it. They didn’t appear binding in any way, and even if they were, it wouldn’t have mattered, as he didn’t sign with his real name.

  His clever and well-thought-out moniker, Katolla, adorned the bottoms of the needed pages.

  Kato gave the documents one last scan. He was satisfied. “I’m all done.” He handed the papers back to Patchy.

  “Eww. Why are they wet?”

  “Great question,” Kato deadpanned, as he dropped the pen back on the desk.

  Patchy looked at him oddly before lightly tapping the papers on the desk and filing them within a desk compartment. “So, as you know, I have some questions for you,” Patchy stated, as he brought out a ragged piece of paper.

  Kato nodded affirmatively.

  Patchy looked down at the paper in his hands. “Why do you hate me?”

  “I don’t,” Kato responded.

  Patchy glanced at him. “Mister Initiate, please do not lie on the questions.”

  “I won’t,” Kato answered.

  “Do you think it’s appropriate to steal pens?” Patchy asked.

  “I gave it back to you,” Kato replied, exasperated.

  Patchy narrowed his eyes and stared at Kato. He clambered on top of the desk and looked him dead in the eye. “You have to be honest for this to work.”

  ‘This guy can’t be serious. There is no way these are the questions he is supposed to ask.’ Kato briefly looked at the ragged piece of parchment Patchy held. “May I have a look at the questions?”

  “No,” Patchy stated. “Do you have any idea how hard I work?”

  Kato sighed. “No, Mister Patchy. I have no idea.”

  “Can I bite you?” Patchy smoothly asked.

  Kato blinked, startled. “No?”

  “I can see you are torn between the pleasure of teeth and professional decorum,” Patchy goaded him.

  “What is wrong with you?” Kato bit back.

  Tears welled in Patchy’s eyes.

  “No. We are not doing this again. I am not letting you bite me or say weird and creepy things and then act sad, so I feel sorry for you.”

  Patchy’s eyes hardened. “What type of name is Katolla?”

  “A good one,” Kato retorted. For some reason he felt compelled to defend his rather terrible false identity.

  Patchy glowered at him.

  Kato glowered back.

  Patchy jumped off the desk, landing by Kato. He rapped his knuckles against Kato’s knee. “You think you’re a real big man, don’t you, Katolla? Think you can just go wherever you like? Do whatever you want, and there will be no consequences. But let me tell you this. That’s not how the world works.”

  Kato stared impassively at Patchy. ‘Not sure where this is coming from.’

  “I challenge you to a duel, furless monster,” Patchy proclaimed, brandishing a furred hand towards Kato.

  “A duel, really?” Kato was familiar with the term. A few of the pompous wealthy members back in Redusk made great spectacles of tapping each other with swords. It had some appeal to him, but it was probably a bad idea to fight a second member of the church hours after arriving.

  Patchy looked him up and down. “You disrespect my honour.”

  “You bit me. You have no honour!”

  “You are a charlatan and a braggard, and I will have my justice!”

  “Do you even know what those words mean?”

  “How dare you!” Patchy began to circle Kato. His fists were raised, and his teeth were bared.

  Kato, who had nearly been killed by a literal demon less than an hour ago, was not intimidated.

  Patchy darted to his side, his eyes wild with righteous fury. “Face me, coward.”

  Kato began to raise his arms before sighing once and letting them fall by his sides. “We’re not doing this.”

  “You dare decline my challenge?” Patchy stopped mid-step, clearly affronted.

  Kato sighed again. “Please, dude. I just came here to be initiated. I didn’t come to bully you or to make jokes at your expense, and I definitely didn’t come here to fight you. I'm not your enemy, but that doesn’t mean I'm going to apologise or admit wrongdoing for things I never did!”

  Patchy stepped back, aghast. “Fine, be a coward.” With little chagrin, Patchy hopped back over the desk and landed on the other side. “Let’s see… Services completed… Paperwork signed… Ahh.” Patchy smiled a vicious smile. “It looks like your attribute evaluation is next.”

  Patchy snapped his fingers, and a plain silver door revealed itself on the far wall. “If you would.” Patchy gestured to him.

  Kato walked forward, approaching the door.

  “Remember, let suffering be your strength,” Patchy said with a maniacal chuckle as Kato stepped through the door.

  Chapter 1

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