My name is Sato Maylene, I'm 30 years old and I work for an ating firm in Tokyo. We're at the height of our activities this year, dealing with a multitude of daily tasks... and then, all of a sudden, I fainted.

  It would be sensible to paniow, sidering that I've just lost my senses and trol of my body. However, I must fess that this is not so unusual for me. I've been through something like this before.

  When I was 15, I fainted in the middle of a lesson, without warning. I lost all my senses and was pletely unscious, but I woke up soon after. That experience was enough to arm my parents at the time.

  In my age group, there were a few simir cases, but they were sidered isoted studies, 15 years ago. This kind of information didn't seem relevant to me... until now.

  Now, with the situatioing itself, I am forced to face a truth that is difficult to accept... Am I in a a? No. Researdicates that people in a a retain some of their senses, such as touell. But I 't feel anything. Sight would be the first thing to be promised, since I fainted, so that's not a surprise. Hearing and taste are also uain. I heard a phrase, but it didn't make any sense - perhaps it was just an echo from my mind, fused by exhaustion.

  Eating is definitely out of the question. Another hypothesis would be that I was just sleeping, but that doesn't make seher. If that were the case, someone would at least have woken me up. The pany has three security guards, who are responsible for seg the first floor and iing the other floors. Someone would certainly have noticed my absend e to try to wake me up. And even if I was unscious, one of them would have taken me home safely.

  Now, an even more discerting idea pops into my head. Perhaps, in some unlikely sario, one of them could rape me, just like that, while I'm here. But I know them, I know their character, and I know that would never happen. This only increases my fear - why hasn't aried to wake me up yet? If no one has woken me up so far, then perhaps I'm not in a simple deep sleep.

  I've experienced long periods of sleep before. I would wake up disoriented, fused, w where I am. But so far, that hasn't happehe sense of time is pletely distorted, and what I know for sure is that I'm still here, somehow.

  My sciousness remains, but my physical perception has pletely disappeared. This only leads me to an even darker clusion... I'm dead.

  ***

  Although I don't kly what's going on, there's something deeply pusible about it. Many people describe death in this way - aernal state where you 't see, feel or hear. Now, that's all I know: the absence of any perception. I don't know if I'm seeing or not, it's hard to expin.

  And now, in this pce, I don't know how to react. Some people, in situations like this, would panic, start screaming. But holy, I ask myself: why scream? What would be the point?

  I'm not a person without feelings, and yes, I'm scared. But I know that screaming wouldn't do any good. In fact, I'd probably just embarrass myself, although, of course, there'd be no one around to hear me.

  Death, after all, must be something like that. I'm agnostic, I've never believed iies or anything like that. But it's an iing topic for debate. There are so many strands to what happens after we die, but I've never been attached to any of them. I have nothing against other people's religions, but in my case, the truth is that I don't know what to believe.

  So what am I left with? - God, if you hear me, I accept my punishment.

  Maybe now I have to accept that I'm here, in this pce. Is this a kind of purgatory? Is my soul imprisoned? Forever?

  I don't know. It's hard to even use my imagination to try to make this experience a little more iing.

  Great job, Maylene. All those nights I stayed up te, reading my novels, pying RPGs, or even toug myself - it all led me here. And now? I still thought I had so much to live for...

  But none of that matters now. The fact is that I'm dead. And, as it turns out, nothing will ge, no matter how much I think or feel... if I'm even capable of feeling at all.

  Maybe days, months or even years have passed... or maybe time hasn't even passed. I don't know how to go on from here.

  Perhaps I o accept this reality? I'm dead. And, deep down, that's all I have left. It's frustrating, I admit. There's nothio do but live iernal refle.

  Perhaps it's time to refley choices. I don't really have mas, but at the same time I 't deny that certain things could have been different. I'm grateful every day to my parents for raising me and providih a stable childhood and adolesce. This has allowed me to maintain a banced life as an adult. However, there is ohing I miss: I couldn't finish reading that new shoujo he plot was fasating, a mix of forbidden roman an a medieval setting. A shame, really.

  I live alone, so when it es to privacy issues, there's nothing to worry about. I mean, my puter has some information that might not be the most... appropriate, like my browsing history and some files I downloaded out of curiosity. Nothing major, just a few distras. Even so, I wouldn't be surprised if someone decided to take a look, although I have a password and so I'm fih that. What weighs me down the most is the fact that, in the end, I died a virgin!

  It's hard not to think about it. I'd at least like to have experienced something, even if it was a simple retionship, someoh whom I could share moments, something I've never experienced. If there's a ce of reinating in a life, I hope to be the same woman, but with more fidence, more attitude and the ability to ect with other people - whether of the opposite sex or even the same sex. I want to live without limitations, to explore all facets of a retionship, even the most intimate aspect.