In the Dream I was wrapped up in the embrace of my Goddess almost before I realized I was dreaming. “ESME! You are amazing!” She giggled cheerfully as she spun in the air with me in her arms.

  “And you are a meddler!” I shouted back, though there was no heat to my words.

  She drifted backwards while continuing to hold me and soon we were once more in her bubble. It had grown again, walls, windows, a garden in warm sunlight just ‘outside’ of it. “As you can see, I’ve gotten a few more prayers than usual. I’m feeling close to my old strength as a demigod, which is scary because that’s nothing compared to what I’ll feel like with temples, and priests, and thousands or even millions of worshipers. It’s honestly a bit overwhelming.” She sighed as she id back on a couch, still clinging to me.

  “Might I assume you were keeping tabs on me while I met with my new assistant?”

  She smiled softly and released me. We both sat up and leaned on each other. “You would have used every excuse not to see her, potentially for years, maybe until it was too te.”

  I sighed and nodded slowly. “I hate to admit you’re probably right about that. Am I such a coward?”

  “No. No My Saint. You are brave. But some fears are born of a pain that drowns us when we try and face it. You needed someone to help you swim. Luckily for you, you know a goddess happy to assist.” She leaned over and kissed my cheek.

  “Is she gonna be okay?” I asked as I rested my head on Vei’Ryn’s shoulder.

  “You know her better than I do. Divinity is no match for the bond and experience you two have. So you tell me.”

  I smiled and nodded again. “Yeah, she’s strong. So damned strong. I don’t think she realized how much Lietri relied on that strength. Yeah, she—I got Tendri the job with the scribe, but it wasn’t easy work. Things only went well because she was smart and driven enough to do it. So much so that it got her an apprenticeship in the Capital.”

  “Then she will get through this. Especially with you by her side.”

  I took a long breath before I fully turned to face my Goddess. “So, why did I get immediately dragged here tonight? Just to talk about Tendri, or is something more happening? I know that things were supposed to get very busy after I went public, but the exact details of that have been rather vague.”

  She averted her eyes and I swear I saw the night sky blush for a moment. “Uh, well, you see…”

  I narrowed my eyes. “What happened?”

  “So, um, me and the rest of the pantheon were watching you at the negotiations. The pantheon, we really need to come up with a name, ‘the pantheon’ is too generic and makes us sound arrogant.” As she rambled, she very obviously avoided looking directly at me. Something was clearly up.

  “Vei’Ryn.” I cut in to stop this obvious and weak attempt to change the subject.

  “Okay fine.” She sighed heavily. “So… you do know I’m not the only one that needs a Saint and an oracle line, right?”

  I blinked a few times. “Wait, they found candidates? From the negotiations?”

  “Well, a couple of them did at least.”

  ~ ~ ~

  Olivia’s Perspective

  I sat in my giant fancy chair, enjoying a bottle of wine with the people closest to my heart. Henna raised a gss in yet another toast to the end of the war, her seventh such toast so far. I think she was worried that she might forget it, or that not saying it enough would somehow make it not true. I could understand that, peace felt like such a faraway dream for so long that is was easy to think of it as a fantasy now.

  “To the return home of our sons and daughters. To rifles in their hands being repced with plows and paint brushes. To the smiles of mothers and fathers holding their children again!”

  “Here here!” I called and downed another mouthful.

  “Damn straight! I am so gd this nonsense is over and we can all have normal lives again.” Phae chuckled from where she sat on the edge of my desk.

  “Tell me about it. Ever since this nonsense kicked off all I’ve wanted to do was to run away and have a nice vacation. Maybe Wavecrest. I’ve always wanted to learn how to surf.” I smirked as the other two looked at me in shock.

  “Surf. You?” Henna ughed. “Okay yes, I have to see that. When do we leave?”

  “You two in bikinis is also a worthy cause.” Phae mentioned with a grin.

  “I for one would certainly love to witness that.” A new voice cut in. I turned my head to see her and…

  She was a rifle in the rain, steam billowing from the heat of the barrel and hands trembling from the cold. She was a mighty wall, holding back man and beast to protect the thousands within. She was an officer congratuting their troops on a successful mission and giving medals to those who’s bravery made all the difference. She was a letter to an old man informing him that his son fell in the line of duty, and ten thousand more letters just like it. She was a shovel, chipped and dented from digging trenches and foxholes for too many years. She was a fg, waving in defiant glory atop a battlement, stubbornly refusing to yield to those who sought to bring it down. She was a promise to allies of protection and enemies of retribution. She was a line in the sand with the warning ‘THIS FAR. NO FURTHER.’ and the hands holding the bloody spear and pitted shield that would make those words true.

  I fell to my knees and wept. Even as the form of the woman became less overwhelming to see, I was struck with the weight of her presence. Steel skin and smoke for hair, with dark, bottomless pits for eyes that somehow still held a weariness I had seen in the mirror too many times. This was War. I could not speak, could not move, could not look away. I sobbed quietly as she gazed into my very soul and judged me.

  “You know me well, don’t you?” Her voice was powerful, but strangely comforting. I managed to nod, unable to form words. “And yet you strayed from me. From who and what I am. You waged war for the sake of war, sought out enemies rather than allies, you turned your bde inward and dropped your shield entirely.”

  I knew, somehow, knew exactly what she meant. “Y-yes.” My voice finally found me again, weak though it was.

  “But you understand now, don’t you?” As she spoke the words, she turned to look at Henna and Phae, still ughing and telling jokes as the dream continued like this goddess wasn’t there and I wasn’t crying on the floor.

  I looked at Phae and my heart sank. “I tried to be angry with her for so long.”

  “But you understand now.”

  “She was protecting her family. In an impossible situation. She got people killed, but I don’t think I’m in any pce to judge her for that, am I?” I chuckled humorlessly and wiped tears from my face only for them to be repced with more. “Why did you come to me, goddess?”

  She returned her eyes to me and a small smile met her lips. “You wish to be a shield.”

  “I do.”

  She knelt down to bring her face so close I could feel the heat of her skin on my own. “Then be my shield, and I will be your spear.”

  ~ ~ ~

  Sellian’s Perspective

  Sun, sand, surf, and samosas. My vacation was incredible already and it only started that morning. If I’d known Wavecrest was so perfect I’d have come here years ago. The food was incredible, the people friendly, and the views breathtaking. Sometimes the people were those views, by the gods I had no idea swimwear got so tiny in orc nds. To which all I can say is, ‘Mommy Like’.

  I heard there was a Green Mother’s Path beach a dozen miles south, and I was very tempted to go see if even half the rumors are true. Though, to be fair, I didn’t want to come across as some creepy tourist eager to gawk at the locals(which if I’m being honest, I was). So I mentally made pns to do some learning first, which I also absolutely love doing.

  There is so much to know and I’m as happy consuming knowledge as I am tasty meals. It’s why I was going to be a teacher, I wanted to try and spread the idea that learning can be legitimately enjoyable. I wanted my nation to actually be the bastion of academia that it pretended to be. Sadly, fate had other pns.

  Wait… what pns? What happened? I had an athletic schorship, I was getting ready for my first semester, then… Then dad got sick. Then I got sick too.

  The sun fell too fast, the chill of night seeping into my bones. I tried to get up but my body was wrong, it wouldn’t move like I wanted it to. I remembered. I’m broken. Ugly. Useless.

  “Well that’s just not true at all.”

  I couldn’t turn my head, but somehow I did anyway. That voice demanded my attention in a way that felt so pure and intense that reality be damned, I had to see her.

  She was a library, open to all and eager to accept new readers. She was a scroll being carefully unrolled to find if the ancient contents were lost wisdom, historical record, a private correspondence to a lover, or maybe just a recipe for bread. She was a teacher sitting down with a student that needed more time and attention that the others. She was a student reading chapters ahead because the lesson was just too easy. She was a new book on the lips of everyone in the city, thousands eagerly pouring through the drama and romance in its pages. She was a forgotten tome on farming practices that had been long since repced, collecting dust on a shelf with other works fading from living memory. She was an overworked volunteer passing out pamphlets to an uncaring public and an enraged mob climbing a fence once the lies of their leaders were exposed.

  I sat up, my body’s frailty meaningless in the face of such magnificent glory. Tears streaked down my face as I looked up into her crystal eyes. “Y-you are incredible.” I found myself saying without thinking.

  “No, I merely am. YOU, are incredible. Even in this damaged form that you must fight for even an ounce of strength, you still fight. And more, you do not even fight purely for yourself! You fight for the hearts and minds of an entire people! You guide your brother’s hand to make your nation greater, you improve the lives of thousands with your words, and you dare call yourself USELESS!?”

  There was so much passion in her voice, a raging fire of righteous intensity, that I found myself smiling. Of course, my eyes lowered a bit and I found myself smiling for other reasons. Her divine presence had been a distraction before. But her body, utterly exposed by a robe that seemed more of a metaphor for a robe than any actual clothing, that was a real distraction.

  She looked at me and grinned, posing erotically and pulling that effectively useless fabric she wore even further open, showing herself off to me with a wink. “You are exactly what this world needs, Sellian. A teacher, who will wield power to ensure the spread of knowledge.”

  I felt my voice catch in my throat for a moment before shaking my head. “Me? I’m no one, a sick fat girl that’s more of a joke than anything. I have some good ideas, but my brother is-”

  “Well meaning but politically inept. He should be in a cssroom, not at international negotiations. YOU, you are the power behind the throne as it were and don’t insult either of us by suggesting otherwise.” She knelt before me, somehow the act feeling extremely intimate, and smiled. “As for your body, well you are a mortal, squishy, biological thing, so it’s not like you have much control over your appearance anyway. Less so than most in fact. But…” She cupped my chin and for a moment I thought she might kiss me. “Perhaps I can give you just the tiniest fragment of control that you lost. But what would you do with that, hmm?”

  “I, wait, you mean cure my nerve damage? Let me walk again?” I stared into her eyes, knowing somehow that she could do exactly that.

  “If I did, would you rush to the fields and spend months, years maybe, fighting your form back into an athlete’s shape? See about reciming your glory days with a perfect body?”

  I wanted to say yes, but I knew it would be a lie. “I miss those days, but I’ve found a different calling now. The more time I spend working out, the less time I’d have to get more important things done. Gods, I mean, I want to be in better shape. But I don’t think I have it in me to do all that again. But… if I could, I’d certainly go on more walks. I miss that.”

  “One doesn’t have to be in peak shape to do important things.” She chuckled and gave me a grin. “I’d tell you ‘just look at me’ but we both know you’re been looking this whole time.”

  I blushed and almost apologized, but instead I smirked. “Well if there is art on dispy it would be rude not to appreciate it.”

  She ughed and smiled broadly. “Oh my yes, Vei was right indeed. I have found someone absolutely perfect.” She leaned in and kissed me softly, my heart racing at the raw power I felt through her lips. When she pulled back, she smiled with eyes filled with hope. “Be mine, and we can do so many great things together. Things that will help the entire world for many ages to come.”

  I knew I had to say yes. I would never forgive myself if I didn’t.

  ~ ~ ~

  Esme’s Perspective

  “… huh. Yeah, Sellian makes sense. But I gotta be honest, I expected Kai to go after Redagga.” I sat back on the fluffy couch, enjoying dream cookies and tea as my Goddess told me about my potential fellow Saints.

  “No chance. She’s perfect in all but two ways, but those are two very important ones. Firstly, she’s devoted to the Green Mother and Blue Father. Very, very devout. We would never ask someone that dedicated to their gods to change, especially when the devotion is to gods we are allied with. It would be an insult to all parties involved.”

  “And the other way?” I prodded her side when she stopped to sip her tea.

  She sighed. “So, Saints have duties that take them all over, especially a god’s first Saint. They are trying to spread worship by helping out with things that match the aspects of their divine patron.”

  I nodded in understanding. “Ahh, so if Red became the Warcry’s Saint, we’d end up separating as our duties took us to different pces.”

  She poked my nose and smirked. “My brilliant Saint, got it immediately as usual.” Then her smile faded. “Well, you’re brilliant most of the time anyway.”

  I paused and raised a brow at her. “What am I doing wrong this time?”

  “Tendri. You’re not being yourself with her. Not entirely. Not the ‘you’ you’ve become anyway.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean? I’m not holding back, not faking anything, I’m being open and honest.” I felt annoyance bubble up inside me, which made me realize that some part of me knew Vei’Ryn was right.

  “Saint. You are in fact pouring out your heart, exposing yourself to her emotionally, being open, honest, straightforward, and most pointedly, self sacrificing. You’re letting the part of you that was Lietri be the one at the wheel.” Her gaze met mine, her eyes filled with understanding but not acquiescence.

  “She’s going through a lot, she’s BEEN through a lot. I think she deserves patience and understanding, her feelings matter in this.”

  “So do yours. For fuck sake Esme, she’s been through a lot? What about you? You’ve been through a fucking shit-storm of literal divine intensity in your life—LIVES. You also know that Lietri and Dani are still not fully integrated after that little scuffle yesterday. I may be biased towards your care above others, but at least part of you is biased away from it.” Her tone turned… not angry, but upset. She was upset for me.

  I started to shake my head, but I stopped and took a breath. “I’m scared of losing her again.”

  “Then maybe don’t make the same mistakes Lietri did.” Her words fell on me like an anvil on a cartoon duck’s head. Heavy enough to cause that terrible simile to spring to life in my mind.

  I sat back and stared up at the starry expanse that existed instead of a roof in her bubble. “Okay.” I stood and started to walk away.

  “Going somewhere?” Vei’Ryn asked with a grin I could hear without looking at.

  “Yeah, I need to go be selfish,” I called back without stopping or turning her way.

  ~

  I had a quick stop to make elsewhere to ask for a favor, then it took me only moments to find Tendri’s dream. That old shitty attic, that slightly muffled music coming from downstairs, the fading light of dusk pouring through the window and bathing everything in warm red and gold hues. Tendri danced with Lietri, their movements slow and sweet and filled with unspoken emotion.

  “May I cut in?” I said as I walked towards her.

  The dream Lietri stepped away and faded, Tendri jumping in surprise, her eyes showing the quick change from confusion to understanding, then a spark of fear. “W-wait, no, this is a dream? Was it all just-”

  “No, no. I’m real, everything in Beaver Valley was real. This is a dream, yes. But do remember who I am a Saint of.” I stopped the spiral as it started and she took a breath, nodding and rubbing her face. I stepped forward and waved my hand, repcing the attic with something more natural. Fields of flowers, picturesque copses of trees around small ponds, butterflies and birdsong filling the air. It was beautiful.

  She looked around with eyes wide. “This is lovely, is it a real pce?”

  “Its a spot we camped at in the Streaming Pins.” I hesitated, but took her hand in my own and pulled her closer gently. “I have so many memories of that attic, of that town, of the orphanage, of the pces Lietri was with you. But they are not who I am. This? This is part of Esme Dreamsinger.”

  She tensed, fingers clinging to mine tightly. “What does that mean?”

  “It means that I was showing you an incomplete picture. I wanted to be familiar, comfortable, but I think I pulled too far away from who I am to try and be someone I’m not anymore.” Before she could respond, my free hand gently held her face and turned it so I could look into her eyes. “I am Esme Dreamsinger, not Lietri Dawnlight. This means that I love you, and by the gods, I love you more than she did. I see you without the self-damning blinders she had on. I have her memories—my memories of you that I can experience in ways she couldn’t. But most of all, I won’t do what she did.”

  Tears welled in her eyes. “She did a lot, much of it good.”

  “But not for herself. I’m far more selfish than she was.” I rested my forehead against her own. “Please stay. I know what I said before, that I wouldn’t ask, but the hells with that. Please, stay with me. I don’t want to watch you fade into the distance like that ever again. I know this is a giant confusing mess, I know this will be hard for you, but I want you by my side. I acted like I would be okay if you left but that’s a damned lie. I’m sorry to put this kind of pressure on you with everything else happening but I refuse to sit back and just let the world take you me from you again because I failed to reach for what I want. So please, stay.”

  She looked into my eyes, tears streaking down her face. Silence hung in that single breath’s distance between us, and then she kissed me.

  There was a hunger in her lips, a need in how her hands pulled me tight against her, a depth of emotion so strong that I felt overwhelmed. I do not know how long the kiss sted, but when it ended I felt my lungs burning with need for air, even in the Dream. “Y-you really aren’t her,” she said between panting breaths.

  “I am, and I’m not. I’m never letting you go like she did.”

  “You promise?”

  “I swear in the name of The Dreamer, Vei’Ryn Tayalora, I will fight heavens and hells for you, I would see the world burn just to hold you close.”

  She smiled, tears still falling but the joy in her eyes was profound. “How is a girl supposed to say no to that?”

  “You can, but I really don’t want you do. Please stay.” I was begging, I knew it, I needed to. I needed to say the things that I wanted to but Lietri would never let out.

  Tendri nodded slowly and kissed me again, light and tender. “Show me more, show me Esme’s life. I want to know who you’ve become, not who you used to be. I want to know the woman I’ll be spending my life with now.”

  I held her close, a small smile pying on my lips though what came next wasn’t entirely something to smile about. I knew what she was asking and I knew it wouldn’t be easy, but I wanted to do it anyway. “Some of it is ugly.”

  “So it’s no so different then. The dump wasn’t exactly a beautiful pce, but it was part of me and Lietri’s live anyway. The fights, the compromises, the ugly things we had to do—she had to do. I know it all, and I want to know the same about you.”

  I took a slow breath and the Dream shifted at my desires. Shredded metal, rifles, haversacks, ammo bins, and a single bloody corpse all in a tiny steel room. “This is the first thing Esme Dreamsinger ever saw…”